Considering rehoming Tango

[Parakeet88]

I felt overwhelmed by the number of birds At the time. I will tel you that once you actually go through with it, a huge weight is lifted. It did help a lot.

I totally agree with this. It can be really difficult to rehom a bird but it could be a huge weight off you shoulders. I know we never want to think of our birds as "burdens" but they are a lot of work and it's unfortunate that the people who want the best life for their birds are the ones who stress about it the most.

I just rehomed three cockatiels and it is tough. All three were adopted and two of the three had behavioral issues that I couldn't help them with. The one loved to stick his toe in his beak and he'd do it to the point that his face would start bleeding from the irritation. The first time he made himself bleed I knew I needed to rehome them. I don't have constant, easy access to a vet and being new to the parrot world I knew I wouldn't be able to help their behavioral issues. As difficult as it was to give them up it also lifted a huge weight off me. I didn't have to worry about him bleeding to death and I'm sure they're getting better care than I could provide them. It also cut my flock down from 8 to 5, I just had too many birds. I ended up with all the cockatiels by accident, one suddenly turned into three lol

Anyway, I do hope things work out for you but don't beat yourself up if you need to rehome him. Again, I think it would be great if you could find someone to temporarily foster him until you're in a better place but I don't know how easy that would be. I know you won't be able to replace tango but keep in mind you can still get a bird once you're more settled. You're not a bad parront, sometimes life is just unpredictable and we get into these difficult situations. I hope you can come to peace with whatever decision you make.

 

[Mizzely]

I would say try to find a foster if you are seriously considering rehoming. For me, I DID decide to rehome Jingo as he was the main instigator for triggering my anxiety, among other reasons that I had carefully thought out. He went to live with my mother in law.

Well, 3 months later, he came back home because the reality is that it was NOT better for him OR me, no matter how much I tried to delude myself into thinking so. He ended up plucking and miserable. I am very thankful that my mother in law took him for those months to let me realize that it wasn't the solution we needed. What if I had let him go somewhere and never seen him again?

 

[Familyof12]

I recently went to a professional and got medication but, unfortunately I had horrible side effects. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. It raced so fast from just standing around and my vision was messed up. I still can't see very well and I ended up getting glasses because my eyes strain now.....Hopefully keeping his cage cleaner will help both of us.

A lot of medications for anxiety can have the opposite affect of hyping you up instead of calming you down. You will need to tell your doctor immediately. Most anxiety problems with memory issues will affect your eyes. Memory is complicated but I'll try to explain it the best way I know how. We use auditory and visual senses with emotions. This means, when we experience a trauma (we may not believe it is a trauma as we experience it happening), we see it through our eyes, ears, smells, and touch (I believe there is another sense, your instinctual sense). When you are stressed, the eyes have the most problems. This is due to the bad memories not being worked out. So when you have these "triggering" moments, your eyes literally can't focus and hurt. It is your brain getting your eyes to re-see internally what happened during that horrific time period and will cause eyes to literally not work well.

Mold can happen overnight. Mold spores are incredibly hard to get rid of and the residue can last years. The good news is dry air kills it but it takes time. We use baking soda in our carpet when we vacuum and use an air purifier and a humidifier at the same time. In the winter we have to crank up all the humidifiers as the heat gets turned up in the house, it dries the air out causing itchy skin.

It is a good idea to keep vacuuming and cleaning the cage with vinegar and water almost daily is preferable. We take the cages outside and take it apart and hose it down while they are flying free in the room. Then we put them in their clean cages, put them outside for sunshine and clean the room. One the room is clean (about 1-2 hours), we bring them all back in and we re-fresh all their food. The dust from fecal matter can cause serious illnesses and all kinds of infections. So thoroughly washing and scrubbing with warm water and vinegar daily is a good idea or as often as you can if the daily cleaning is too much.

You love Tango. Please don't give him up. He's been with you through thick and thin and you with him. I can't imagine you or he would be happier without each other.

 

[BrianB]

It may be the allergies that are causing the anger. There are a couple of things that come to mind. If you're taking an allergy medication, maybe switch to a different one and see if that improves your mood. Not all of us react the same to medication, and one person may be sensitive to something as innocent as a color dye, where another person may not be sensitive at all. I started a new allergy med and the Dr told me to take it at bedtime because it would make me sleepy. I was awake for 2 days cleaning the house, and it didn't do anything for my allergies. It also could be the allergy itself. Having a physical issue long term that causes constant discomfort can just wear on you emotionally. It can make you impatient, irritable and quick to anger. It also sounds like you've been through a lot recently and maybe the anger is a manifestation of your stress. In any case, I hope you find some peace.

 

[SirTango]

I do love Tango very much and when I get right down to the core of the situation, I don't want to give him up. He and I have been through so much and he is the best bird anyone could hope to have. I know I would deeply regret losing that friendship. I don't want him to go through what most birds to with being in multiple homes. He has been rehomed twice and I have preached keeping birds no matter what so I'll live by what I preach. In the meantime I will do everything I can to ease the allergies I'm suffering from. Hopefully my anger truly is just an allergy problem and not something harder to fix.

 

[greys4u]

 

[Alien J]

I, too, suffer from allergies... and wouldn't you know it, I end up with a cockatiel... the dustiest bird ever!

I went a little bit farther than almost homeless...my now late husband became addicted to opiates and we literally lost EVERYTHING. I had two dogs and two cats when we lost our home. Before losing our home, I can remember losing my temper at the drop of a hat! Screaming at the pets. Just being a horrible animal Mommy! Why I took my anger out on them instead of on the one who deserved it is beyond me. I regret the way I treated them to this day. I can't imagine having TD and becoming homeless. It's hard. But, thankfully, you're past that part and are not homeless! (Hooray!)

I can't really add any better advice than what's been given by everyone else! Just wanted to lend my support... let you know folks are thinking about you!

From this point forward, may life bless you always and in all ways (and Tango, too!).

 

[Garet]

I know I'm new here, but I gotta agree about switching up the meds. I have allergies to chicken/turkey sausages, of all things. The allergy meds I took somehow messed up with my anxiety meds and I basically spent two hours sitting outside by myself for no reason. If you're having side-effects, go see someone. I know it's scary as all heck and taking new meds really doesn't help when you've got an anxiety disorder, but it's worth it to get better.

The doctors are there to help. It can be a bit humiliating to talk about how you feel, but it's the only way to get through this. If anxiety's a problem, why not ask if you can take Tango in a carrier with you to the doctor's? Or set up a skype call with him so you can talk or watch him while you're there? My psychologist called it 'zootherapy' and actually encouraged me to bring my girl along when I asked if I could take her.