Unsure what to do

[tired]

I got a cockatiel almost 2 months ago now and it is no closer to being tame or bonding than it was when I got it. It hisses and bites, and man does it bite hard sometimes, and then just tries to get away. It isn't sociable and I mean that. It doesn't care if someone is with it or not. I don't think it could be any less interested in me if it tried. It sings and chirps every day and when it isn't, it is preening and beak grinding. But then it bangs the cage and screams at me but runs when I approach. I know it's screaming at me because after it screams it turns its head at me to see my reaction, but believe me, it doesn't want attention because that just makes it scream louder. I think it enjoys trying to irritate me, because it loves to scream like that when it hears my voice. It isn't a nice scream. It's this horrid shrill little noise that repeats over and over. I open the cage but it doesn't come out. It chews its perches and toys aggressively and it just seems really angry. It can't be bribed by food or treats because again it isn't interested. It doesn't bathe itself. I have tried everything but all the articles I read and forums I scour say that the bird should want socialization and contact or attention, but this one doesn't. It doesn't play with its toys, only destroys them. It hisses and lunges if it even thinks you are going to put your hands near. Like I said, it bites, and it's like the thing is so angry and hateful. I don't think it's biting as a defensive mechanism, it really just seems to hate everything. I was told this bird was 6 months old. It also has a bit of a malformed left leg but no it doesn't cause the bird any pain or anything, it is a disability from birth. It can climb and fly and everything just fine. It has a big cage, toys, treats...but it acts so horrid and disinterested/distrustful. How do you bond with a bird that doesn't want to give you the time of day? This is my first bird and man it really seems like I got a doozy.

 

[Xoetix]

Goodness gracious, yeah you did get a doozy of a first experience!

First, welcome to the forum This place is great, everyone is a riot.

Second, I don’t smell. Ignore that. It’s a perfect example of the admins here being goofy. (Just to further prove this isn’t a stuck up forum - I know posting questions can feel iffy, but everyone here is super chill).

Third, I have questions! Do you have a photo of your demon (and I mean that nicely - I’ve called mine worse as we actually get along)? Can you post a photo of the cage and toys and what not? Did s/he come from a breeder or a pet store? Have y’all been to the vet to rule out any internal or underlying issues?

 

[tired]

Goodness gracious, yeah you did get a doozy of a first experience!

First, welcome to the forum This place is great, everyone is a riot.

Second, I don’t smell. Ignore that. It’s a perfect example of the admins here being goofy. (Just to further prove this isn’t a stuck up forum - I know posting questions can feel iffy, but everyone here is super chill).

Third, I have questions! Do you have a photo of your demon (and I mean that nicely - I’ve called mine worse as we actually get along)? Can you post a photo of the cage and toys and what not? Did s/he come from a breeder or a pet store? Have y’all been to the vet to rule out any internal or underlying issues?

Thanks for the swift reply, I have attached some pics of bird and the cage. I will need to take more recent ones of the cage tomorrow, that one showing it fully was on the day I got the bird. The cage has 7 perches now, all natural and a couple wooden shelves. The toys are parrot chew and forage toys from Amazon, with the crinkle paper and organic rope. Bird wasn't interested in anything else.
Bird is healthy, yes. Even just now was singing chirping and cage banging. Bird was presumed female but honestly I don't know. I got her from a breeder but he was iffy. Told me he didn't notice her leg. Also her tail feathers were bedraggled when she arrived. Breeder told me it was because he bathed her and they would grow back perfectly again when she molted.

 

[Shezbug]

First off 2 months is really a very short time to expect many birds to want to be settled or be friends with you.

The toy playing you describe actually sounds totally awesome! Destroying toys is what having them is all about!! Chewing perches and toys is great and it is what you want to see, this is why we get a variety of toys (I am not recommending any Amazon toys though I am sorry)

The screaming- can you share a video of this? If so you will need to link it from FB, Youtube, IG, Vimeo etc.

 

[Xoetix]

Oh she is stinkin PRETTY!

I’m just assuming she, I don’t know why but she looks female to me (but I am not saying 100% either way )

The cage looks a bit small, I’d try to go for something bigger if you’re able to.

It sounds like the cage set up is perfect though. Natural perches, lots of toys… what’s she eating? Is she eating well?

Like Shez said, two months honestly isn’t long. Especially if the breeder was questionable - it’s hard to say what this whole transition was like for her. What are you doing currently as far as interacting with her? I know you said she reacts poorly to you, but do you have a video of what she’s doing when you’re just in the room?

If you look through my posts, I have a Quaker named Burt. He… is not a fan of human interaction. I absolutely cannot touch him. I can’t reach into his cage without him charging at me. And he BITES. However, since bringing him home, he’s learning he cannot out-stubborn me. While he won’t let me touch him (except for two occasions, both of which I think were more detrimental to our progress than not), we’re better than when he first came home.

It was small at first - he would flock call as soon as I left the room. I couldn’t get near enough to touch, but he started liking me just being around. Then he would start talking back to me, just little bits of chatter. Now we’re at a point that he’ll land on my head. I can’t move to touch him or try to get him to step up, he’ll fly away immediately. But even the babiest of baby steps is still a step. It just takes persistence and being more stubborn than the bird.

 

[tired]

Oh she is stinkin PRETTY!

I’m just assuming she, I don’t know why but she looks female to me (but I am not saying 100% either way )

The cage looks a bit small, I’d try to go for something bigger if you’re able to.

It sounds like the cage set up is perfect though. Natural perches, lots of toys… what’s she eating? Is she eating well?

Like Shez said, two months honestly isn’t long. Especially if the breeder was questionable - it’s hard to say what this whole transition was like for her. What are you doing currently as far as interacting with her? I know you said she reacts poorly to you, but do you have a video of what she’s doing when you’re just in the room?

If you look through my posts, I have a Quaker named Burt. He… is not a fan of human interaction. I absolutely cannot touch him. I can’t reach into his cage without him charging at me. And he BITES. However, since bringing him home, he’s learning he cannot out-stubborn me. While he won’t let me touch him (except for two occasions, both of which I think were more detrimental to our progress than not), we’re better than when he first came home.

It was small at first - he would flock call as soon as I left the room. I couldn’t get near enough to touch, but he started liking me just being around. Then he would start talking back to me, just little bits of chatter. Now we’re at a point that he’ll land on my head. I can’t move to touch him or try to get him to step up, he’ll fly away immediately. But even the babiest of baby steps is still a step. It just takes persistence and being more stubborn than the bird.

Couple more pics
Her name is Cookie, aka Evil Little Pecker
She is eating pellets, some seed mix, nutri berries, and she has a vitamin and mineral block she absolutely goes wild for. Sometimes she will eat millet but not always. I have tried her with apple, strawberry, cucumber, tomato, and carrot. The apple she only chewed at the skin. She wouldn't eat anything else. When I eat apples I share them with her. She will chew at it through the bars but hates if my fingers get too close.
I talk to her. She isn't interested, although sometimes certain things I say make her shake her head, sometimes her whole body. Like, she floofs. But rarely. Once she was intruiged when I was clicking my tongue but she lost interest real fast and hasn't cared for it since. I sit next to her cage essentially all day every day. I eat my meals with her. Someone I was talking to suggested sleeping in the same room as her so she can see that I am willing to be vulnerable around her, so I do that too. Really, aside from the screaming there isn't much else to film, she just goes about her bird business without any care if I am there or not. I cannot do anything else to interact with her because she is not interested or just gets mad and tries to attack me. I can't do target training or whatever because there are no small treats she likes and even if there were, she wouldn't take them from my fingers. I tried to give her sunflower seeds once and I kid you not, she took a couple and threw them to the floor and then bit my fingers. Didn't even eat the seeds, and she loves them. It's like me holding them disgusted her or something.

 

[finchly]

-bits of millet for treats. Also teeny pieces of hemp seed, walnut, pecan.
- tiels generally don’t eat fruit. She would love some red pepper slices, cooked sweet potato, or broccoli though.

here’s what I did with my cagebound bird:
I put a perch on the outside of the cage. Then I laid yummy treats on The perch and went away. Eventually the treats began to disappear. Then I would see him sitting on the perch but he’d scramble back when he saw me. This all took about 3 months. That was 8 years ago and he’s my little buddy now.
Hope this helps.

 

[tired]

This is the noise she makes. I apologise for the poor quality. Also she was clearly aware of me filming her, so imagine that twice as loud and twice as frequent. She will also bang on the cage, but obviously wouldn't then because I was near. She does it any time, no matter if the TV is on or not. I thought that may have been a reason but it did not affect the behaviour.

 

[tired]

-bits of millet for treats. Also teeny pieces of hemp seed, walnut, pecan.
- tiels generally don’t eat fruit. She would love some red pepper slices, cooked sweet potato, or broccoli though.

here’s what I did with my cagebound bird:
I put a perch on the outside of the cage. Then I laid yummy treats on The perch and went away. Eventually the treats began to disappear. Then I would see him sitting on the perch but he’d scramble back when he saw me. This all took about 3 months. That was 8 years ago and he’s my little buddy now.
Hope this helps.

Thanks, it's worth a try, I will get some of those things you suggested and see if she likes them or not. Going to try her with peas, too.

 

[tka]

I really would recommend a larger cage as well as the other things people have recommended. She really needs room to stretch her wings out fully and move around, particularly if she's not getting out of her cage. A bigger cage allows you to add a variety of toys (different textures, materials and so on for her to explore) so offers more enrichment for her and more interest for you. I think at least part of it is that she's bored and frustrated, and screaming to get a reaction is one of the most entertaining activities she has available to her.

Depending on where you are, flight cages are easily available and reasonably spacious. They're about 32x21" and offer loads more space than what she currently has. Remember that there's no such thing as too large a cage. In the wild, cockatiels fly for hundreds of miles to seek out water and food. Nothing we could offer them in captivity even comes close to that.

 

[jh81]

This sound is normal our tiels did that as well and yes, tiels can be loud, but in the wild they have to call their mates over vast distances, so its natural to make noise try living with a cocatoo for a few years ;-)

in the video she seems not too stressed, so i guess it could be worse. Let her be for a few weeks. I’m gonna assume you tried to handle her pretty soon after you got her. But parrots need time to become familiar with their surroundings and feel safe.
my suggestion would be like others did. Get her a bigger cage, and let her be for a few weeks. Be in the room, sit close by (but not next to the cage) and talk to her, but do NOT try to handle her. These birds are in essence still wild animals, not like cats and dogs who are with us for thousands of years. Your companion still has jungle blood, she may very well view you as a predator who wants to eat her.

It is your job to show her you are not after her. And you do that by gaining her trust. By showing you won’t make her do things she doesnt want. And in a few weeks, slowly open the cage and move away, go about your business in the same room but dont force her to come out. Don’t rattle the cage. She’ll come out when shes ready. And by then you can also start trying to see if she takes food from your fingers.

Taming a parrot can be a long process and it takes patience. You can go one step forward in a month, and then in a 3 seccond mistake go two steps backwards.

But if you can find the patience, it’s a very rewarding process. With each step forward you will feel better

 

[tired]

This sound is normal our tiels did that as well and yes, tiels can be loud, but in the wild they have to call their mates over vast distances, so its natural to make noise try living with a cocatoo for a few years ;-)

in the video she seems not too stressed, so i guess it could be worse. Let her be for a few weeks. I’m gonna assume you tried to handle her pretty soon after you got her. But parrots need time to become familiar with their surroundings and feel safe.
my suggestion would be like others did. Get her a bigger cage, and let her be for a few weeks. Be in the room, sit close by (but not next to the cage) and talk to her, but do NOT try to handle her. These birds are in essence still wild animals, not like cats and dogs who are with us for thousands of years. Your companion still has jungle blood, she may very well view you as a predator who wants to eat her.

It is your job to show her you are not after her. And you do that by gaining her trust. By showing you won’t make her do things she doesnt want. And in a few weeks, slowly open the cage and move away, go about your business in the same room but dont force her to come out. Don’t rattle the cage. She’ll come out when shes ready. And by then you can also start trying to see if she takes food from your fingers.

Taming a parrot can be a long process and it takes patience. You can go one step forward in a month, and then in a 3 seccond mistake go two steps backwards.

But if you can find the patience, it’s a very rewarding process. With each step forward you will feel better

Thank you, it's reassuring to know that noise is normal. It was something I was concerned about. How would I move her to a new cage? Since I can't pick her up and she won't move herself. I have been doing those other things already. I sit near, talk softly to her, sing, etc. but as I stated she doesn't seem interested. I don't try to force her to do anything I have just been trying to get her used to my hands and offer her treats sometimes. But I suppose you are right and I just have to keep being patient, right? I just feel like I haven't made any progress really and wondered if there was other things I had to do to let her know I want to be her friend.

 

[jh81]

Progress is in the little things is this your first bird?

You may think shes not interested, but i assure you.. She will see everything you do. And what you consider “horrible screaming” might actually be her flock calling, her trying to call you, get a sense of where you are. This in itself is progress, she may not like to be handled, but she does consider you part of her flock. You think shes trying to irritate you and stop to look how you react, i think she’s calling to you and stops because you respond (either by voice or by appearance). This is an excellent base to start from. You say she goes on about her business, that too is a sign! If she was afraid of you, she would sit and watch your every move. Look to the birds in the wild, they don’t go about their business when they see a predator, they keep their eyes on it. So she does have trust in you. Again, thats progress! You have much more to be happy for then you think

I had lots of tiels when i was younger, both tame and wild in an aviary. Let me tell you, tiels do not “scream”. Ask any Macaw or Cockatoo owner about their birds screaming, and you’ll find your tiel a gentle musical little thing

Do you have a regular routine in your life? Birds like parrots are like little children, they trive on routine and enough sleep. If shes in an area where theres light and noise till late, you should consider covering her cage in the evening. Parrots can get “moody” when they didnt get enough sleep.

also, please don’t take this as an attack: What you consider a big cage, i consider a travel cage to the vet. I have included some images so you can get an idea of a “small cage for a cockatiel”. But these birds in the wild fly miles each day, in our world there are no large cages, only less smaller cages. And i would only consider these cages if they could at least be out of it several hours a day. These cages are filled with toys, and i guarantee you that none of these toys survived the 6 month mark

Hate is a human emotion, i firmly believe birds don’t “hate”. They may be scared of things, but they dont hate things. The beak of your companion is hard. Its ment to destroy the perches and toys. This is a simple fact that all parrot owners have to live with. A healthy parrot will spend a lot of time chewing and playing. Its good for their mental health and for their fysical health as well, its how they keep their beaks sharp enough to crack the seeds and nuts.

To me the problem doesnt seem the bird, but you And thats a good thing, because you can change your behaviour and your expectations. I believe you set the expectations too high, and now you’re frustrated that your bird doesnt meet those expectations. And your bird picks up on this. They are very good at reading our moods and our feelings. When you deal with your bird you have to make sure you are in a state of calm, happy.

I think any parrot can be tamed, but some take more work then others. So there’s a very good chance you can still end up with a cockatiel on your shoulder, but i really do believe you have some work to do yourself.

As i said, the above is not ment to attack you, i only want to teach you, as all of us here do. Because when done right, i think you will have a wonderful time ahead of you! My first ever bird was a cockatiel, and i have always found them such gentle and sweet souls.

 

[Khizz]

Alongside what everyone else says, I should also add tiels are...well, tiny weirdos

My female was screeching all the time for days and days. I couldn't figure out the sudden change in behaviour and it was driving me up the wall.

Then I realised.

She heavily disapproved of the yellow spray bottle my husband had left on top of the cage. She was yelling at it

Took it off and radio silence!

It sings and chirps every day and when it isn't, it is preening and beak grinding

in the video she seems not too stressed,

Yep - she sounds happy!

She will also bang on the cage, but obviously wouldn't then because I was near.

How would you describe it? My male tiel does this to remind us all how handsome he is

How would I move her to a new cage?

Put some treats (millet) in the new cage and face it opposite. Her curiosity will get the best of her!

 

[stacey101]

Slow and steady with animal training.
You need to take the time to allow the bird to come to you, not the other way around. Biting after all is communication, think about what the function of that behavior is. They are telling you point blank no.

Try taking steps back, sit near them. Offer them millet. After a month they'll have a great association with millet. So you can then start holding it in your hand and see if they'll come to you and take a nibble.

 

[tired]

Progress is in the little things is this your first bird?

You may think shes not interested, but i assure you.. She will see everything you do. And what you consider “horrible screaming” might actually be her flock calling, her trying to call you, get a sense of where you are. This in itself is progress, she may not like to be handled, but she does consider you part of her flock. You think shes trying to irritate you and stop to look how you react, i think she’s calling to you and stops because you respond (either by voice or by appearance). This is an excellent base to start from. You say she goes on about her business, that too is a sign! If she was afraid of you, she would sit and watch your every move. Look to the birds in the wild, they don’t go about their business when they see a predator, they keep their eyes on it. So she does have trust in you. Again, thats progress! You have much more to be happy for then you think

I had lots of tiels when i was younger, both tame and wild in an aviary. Let me tell you, tiels do not “scream”. Ask any Macaw or Cockatoo owner about their birds screaming, and you’ll find your tiel a gentle musical little thing

Do you have a regular routine in your life? Birds like parrots are like little children, they trive on routine and enough sleep. If shes in an area where theres light and noise till late, you should consider covering her cage in the evening. Parrots can get “moody” when they didnt get enough sleep.

also, please don’t take this as an attack: What you consider a big cage, i consider a travel cage to the vet. I have included some images so you can get an idea of a “small cage for a cockatiel”. But these birds in the wild fly miles each day, in our world there are no large cages, only less smaller cages. And i would only consider these cages if they could at least be out of it several hours a day. These cages are filled with toys, and i guarantee you that none of these toys survived the 6 month mark

Hate is a human emotion, i firmly believe birds don’t “hate”. They may be scared of things, but they dont hate things. The beak of your companion is hard. Its ment to destroy the perches and toys. This is a simple fact that all parrot owners have to live with. A healthy parrot will spend a lot of time chewing and playing. Its good for their mental health and for their fysical health as well, its how they keep their beaks sharp enough to crack the seeds and nuts.

To me the problem doesnt seem the bird, but you And thats a good thing, because you can change your behaviour and your expectations. I believe you set the expectations too high, and now you’re frustrated that your bird doesnt meet those expectations. And your bird picks up on this. They are very good at reading our moods and our feelings. When you deal with your bird you have to make sure you are in a state of calm, happy.

I think any parrot can be tamed, but some take more work then others. So there’s a very good chance you can still end up with a cockatiel on your shoulder, but i really do believe you have some work to do yourself.

As i said, the above is not ment to attack you, i only want to teach you, as all of us here do. Because when done right, i think you will have a wonderful time ahead of you! My first ever bird was a cockatiel, and i have always found them such gentle and sweet souls.

Thanks so much for being so helpful and understanding, yes this is my first bird but your advice gave me a lot to think about and you were right, I wasn't being fair. The problem was me. I am already in the process of getting him a much better, much larger cage. Even through all my research and preparation, I somehow thought the cage I had was adequate, but now every time I look at it I feel terrible for ever thinking that. Since changing my attitude I can say I think it has affected him positively! You will notice that I am saying "him" when previously I thought my bird was female, that's because I have seen heart wings from him, and heard many different singing and whistling. I know it isn't an exact science beyond getting them DNA tested but yeah, I think I have a boy. He now takes seeds from my fingers and he has let me pet his head twice! Only a little, then I got bit so I backed way off, but still. He sings so much lately you wouldn't believe it. I sung him to sleep today. I think there is definitely progress, you are right I just have to take it at his pace and make sure he feels safe and happy first.

 

[jh81]

No worries. We all had a first bird, we all made those mistakes But as soon as we are open those that are willing to help us, this is how we learn! And then we can make progress, and experience wonderful moments

I am glad you get a bigger cage, and in time when he will sit on your shoulder all day, he has all the room he need to be a happy, curious bird