To pair or not to pair?

[accio-birdies]

Hibou has been single since I got him almost 2 years ago (in other words; his entire life so far). He has mirrors, toys, and lots of attention to keep him happy. Though, I have been wondering lately, as he's become far more vocal and clingy, would he be happier with a mate? He also gets very mirror obsessed from time to time. Like, if you try to touch him or the mirror while he's obsessing, he'll bite you. Hard. He also gets so obsessed that he'll regurgitate all over it like it's his actually mate. So, to keep him from obsessing he gets limited mirror time and that's been working. He'll choose to sit with me during the day rather than obsess over his reflection.

While he seems happy for the most part, whistles his little tunes and speaks to me, Forrest, or random objects he's in love with for the day. There is still that thought in the back of my mind; is he lonely? Would a mate make him happier? Or can a single cockatiel be happy all his life with enough love from his humans?

 

[sunnysmom]

It's probably a good idea to get rid of the mirror altogether. It's usually not recommended for cockatiels. I have also always been told to never get a bird for your bird. Only get a bird if you want a second bird. Although another bird would be company, there is no guaranty that any two birds will get along. There's a good chance they would need/want separate cages too. Sometimes they become best of friends. Sometimes they don't. So I think the question is do you want another bird? My tiel lived his whole life as the only bird. He came to live with us when he was 15, and was very happy as a single bird. There are others here with just one tiel too and it has worked out if they get sufficient time and attention. So it just depends.

 

[Tiel Feathers]

I would get rid of the mirror too. Also, good advice from @sunnysmom regarding getting another tiel. Even if they have to be in seperate cages they will keep each other company, but only get another bird if its something you would like and be able to handle. Even though this is unusual, all four of my tiels have their own cage.

 

[Jaguar]

Look at a well bonded pair of parrots. They're inseparable - they break down into frantic screams if they're even out of each others' sight. Where one goes, the other always follows.

Is his mirror providing him the proper mate that his biology desires? (...No)
Are you - or can you?

Some parrots do just fine alone. Some don't. Rarely do we know the difference until they completely implode in screaming, feather picking, and self destructive behaviors... or just go bonkers on us.

Cockatiels are very emotional and thrive on strong bonds with their mate and flock. Phoenix is mate bonded to me. I am not a parrot, nor am I very good at pretending to be one. All he did was pace and scream when I wasn't around. I could not subject him to that mental anguish because I (selfishly) wanted an exclusive bond with him, so I broke the rules and got a parrot for my parrot. I have never regretted it for even a moment. He is still (unfortunately) obsessed with me, but he has a companion to keep him company and lessen his dependency on me for social interaction. It's been great for both of us - I now have two awesome cockatiel buddies, and I don't have to stress constantly about Phoenix's state of mind (or listen to him scream). He is more confident, more stable, and generally much more pleasant to be around, which has been SO much stress off my shoulders. It was so bad I had considered rehoming him at one point - now I couldn't imagine life without them.

It's true that they may not get along, and you're now looking at two parrots who need individual interaction time. That is always something to consider - but the fact that he shows so much affection to his mirror tells me that he may take well to another cockatiel friend. Even if they don't bond heavily, they can still interact and provide each other company. Ultimately, it's your decision, and you know what's best for your flock.

 

[blewin]

Buddy is a single girl...she's strongly bonded to both me and my partner, but we both worked when we got her. The upshot is that we make sure that she's with us when we are home, and that she has lots of toys and a window when we are not. She knows how to entertain herself, and that's important.

From what I understand, behavior problems happen not because the bird is single, but because at first they got non-stop attention, and then it was taken away.

 

[Jaguar]

Buddy is a single girl...she's strongly bonded to both me and my partner, but we both worked when we got her. The upshot is that we make sure that she's with us when we are home, and that she has lots of toys and a window when we are not. She knows how to entertain herself, and that's important.

From what I understand, behavior problems happen not because the bird is single, but because at first they got non-stop attention, and then it was taken away.

Sometimes, but not always.

The problem with a single parrot is they have no healthy outlet for their desire to reproduce. Most of the time this leads to misguided affection for their owner/handler - or in this case, a reflection in the mirror. I'm a firm believer that we just can't fulfill the role of a mate to a parrot, and I also believe it's not healthy to encourage that kind of bond, either.

Phoenix could not even be around me without making a beeline to hump my hands or regurgitate for me. That was not healthy for him, and it was not the kind of bond that I wanted to have with him. It's easy to say "Just discourage it", but that doesn't solve the root problem that he sees me as his mate in the first place. He still does, after years of up and leaving at the slightest sign that he's getting weird with me.

I did not withdraw my constant attention from him because I got busy or the "new parrot" rush wore off. I screwed him up by raising him to believe I was his mate, and I had to fix it by giving him the companionship he needed but could not personally provide. Sometimes we have to decide whether our personal feelings or the parrot's mental well being is more important. It is unique to the situation and parrot at hand, and there is never a clear cut answer.

(Sorry for the barrage of edits - I just woke up and my thoughts are all over the place)

 

[Jaguar]

My situation with Phoenix and Miles works so well because Phoenix just wanted someone to be around. Miles is just that. He obviously would've preferred it be me, but that wasn't possible, because I do have a life and things to do. He still thinks I'm his mate, and I wish it wasn't that way, but it is a manageable thing now. There is no more screaming and pacing and freaking out when I'm out of sight - he follows me to the door when I leave, but does not scream or panic or try to follow me out the door any more. He knows I will be back and that he won't be lonely in the meantime, and it's made him sooo much less of an anxious hormonal trainwreck.

I put them in the cage and had a nap in the bed yesterday, and while he sat in the corner as close to me as he could, he didn't make a peep. I can leave him out and lay down to read and he will just stay up on the cage and watch me happily from a distance. It's really a complete 180 on how he used to behave.

 

[Princessbella]

Another viewpoint here. I have a single tiel Bella. I am not sure how she sees me. I don't think as a mate but more as a parent/child. She will contact call if we are not together but for the most part she can entertain herself. She does not have to be on me every second but she does love her scritching sessions. Getting another bird does not mean that they are going to bond with each other. They might not even like each other. When I have to go away on business, Bella is boarded in a place where she sees other birds and has expressed zero interest in them. In fact, if I have her on my shoulder and am looking at another bird, she will try to attack the bird. So getting another bird wouldn't do anything for Bella. Another problem with girl tiels is that if they get stimulated, they will lay eggs. My first tiel, a single bird, died of egg binding. The last thing that I want is for Bella to lay eggs so while she has plenty of toys, (thanks to AA!) she doesn't have mirrors or any toys that look like a bird. So I would make sure that you can take care of another bird before getting one. But it is a great question that is always on the minds of us who have a single bird.

 

[accio-birdies]

Cockatiels are very emotional and thrive on strong bonds with their mate and flock. Phoenix is mate bonded to me. I am not a parrot, nor am I very good at pretending to be one. All he did was pace and scream when I wasn't around. I could not subject him to that mental anguish because I (selfishly) wanted an exclusive bond with him, so I broke the rules and got a parrot for my parrot. I have never regretted it for even a moment. He is still (unfortunately) obsessed with me, but he has a companion to keep him company and lessen his dependency on me for social interaction. It's been great for both of us - I now have two awesome cockatiel buddies, and I don't have to stress constantly about Phoenix's state of mind (or listen to him scream). He is more confident, more stable, and generally much more pleasant to be around, which has been SO much stress off my shoulders. It was so bad I had considered rehoming him at one point - now I couldn't imagine life without them.

See, I feel this is kind of where I'm at with Hibou. He was mate bonded to me, still is, but I got the mirrors in hopes that it would help him. Because when I left the house all he would do is scream and SCREAM (I too considered rehoming him because it got so bad). At the time I was in a rather small apartment, I couldn't get another bird, I already had two. The mirrors helped with the screaming and panicking to a degree, but I've heard so much controversy on mirrors since I've gotten him one that I am starting to think I've made a mistake. Judging by other people's posts that it'd be best to get rid of them, I'm probably right. Instead of calming the previous obsession with me, I just gave him another unhealthy obsession with his own reflection. So, I think that I will be taking the mirror away all together and going from there.

I would love another cockatiel, I've always had plans for more than one in the future. I'm just not sure now is the perfect time for another bird, especially not with a move on the horizon and plans for a puppy. He gets plenty of love and attention from myself and my girlfriend, so at this point I think I'll see how he is without his mirrors.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

 

[blewin]

Another viewpoint here. I have a single tiel Bella. I am not sure how she sees me. I don't think as a mate but more as a parent/child. She will contact call if we are not together but for the most part she can entertain herself. She does not have to be on me every second but she does love her scritching sessions. Getting another bird does not mean that they are going to bond with each other. They might not even like each other. When I have to go away on business, Bella is boarded in a place where she sees other birds and has expressed zero interest in them. In fact, if I have her on my shoulder and am looking at another bird, she will try to attack the bird. So getting another bird wouldn't do anything for Bella. Another problem with girl tiels is that if they get stimulated, they will lay eggs. My first tiel, a single bird, died of egg binding. The last thing that I want is for Bella to lay eggs so while she has plenty of toys, (thanks to AA!) she doesn't have mirrors or any toys that look like a bird. So I would make sure that you can take care of another bird before getting one. But it is a great question that is always on the minds of us who have a single bird.

That's how Buddy is...I wonder if it's a girl thing.

 

[barry collins]

I have heard that mirrors are not recommended for cockatiels so I've never had one. However I can confirm that getting a second cockatiel was the best thing that could have happened for me. I had one that used to scream for attention all the time but was not tame as she had been clipped from birth and forced to sit on hands so she came to me fearful and unable to fly so I let her grow back into her flight feathers.
She hated hands but also hated been on her own. I got a second cockatiel hoping the presence of another one would calm her down. I kept them in separate cages for about 6 weeks in separate rooms and eventually they met. I was told they were the same sex but they are not and it was love at first sight and they are inseparable now. The noise stopped 95% and she is no longer scared of hands as she had lots of watching her mate crawling all over people. Monkey see monkey do. They are now proud parents and I am so lucky that it went well.
Although it went well for me you need to be prepared for it not to go well. Like everyone says don't get another bird unless you want 2 birds. It might not be love at first sight but then again it might be?

 

[Just-passn-thru]

Mirrors are frustrating for birds, I would think she is in a constant state of heightened stress/ anxiety. Same sex pairs work well. I think it's more the Avian companionship , no worries of producing offspring. Single females are capable of laying eggs regardless of being an only bird or kept with a companion bird. I am a strong believer in having another bird for the bird, and for myself too! we fail poorly as a mate/companion...flock member ok . Through default, the bird has no choice but to bond to us. No such thing as a one-size- fits all approach . At best one can only make generalities as a safe guideline.