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Paco and I are at the vet (sad update post #25)

Snowghost

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It's so many levels of unfair that he wasn't able to make it but he knew you were there with him and he was definitely comforted by that. He was a fighter until the end and I know someday you'll be reunited.
Please be kind to yourself and know that you are a wonderful Parront and were all here for you always :hug8:
Hopefully in time if your able to open your heart again another sweet baby who needs your love and care will fund their way to you.
This is the second time I have lost a parrot, I've had birds for 40 years, but never a big parrot, he was so much work, but I loved him, he was so abused and neglected and I worked for him for a long time to learn to trust and eat healthy and come out and play and to be a happy parrot. He talked, he interacted with me, right now I would be talking to him and he's not here. The house is so quiet, I talked to him all night, first thing in the morning, he was terrified when I first got him. He was almost bald, underweight, dirty cage, and I taught him how to drink fresh water out of bowl, his previous owner had gerbil bottle hanging outside of his cage with brown water in it. I had to throw his perches away, took me 3 days to clean the crude off his cage. I taught him to scoot over instead of taking a chunk out of my arm when I gave him fresh water. He loved pumpkin seeds and nutriberries, I gave him breakfast of warm veggies, fresh seed, clean cage, twice a day. I am in so much pain over his loss. I wasn't prepared, I thought ok meds and we go home.
 

April

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This is the second time I have lost a parrot, I've had birds for 40 years, but never a big parrot, he was so much work, but I loved him, he was so abused and neglected and I worked for him for a long time to learn to trust and eat healthy and come out and play and to be a happy parrot. He talked, he interacted with me, right now I would be talking to him and he's not here. The house is so quiet, I talked to him all night, first thing in the morning, he was terrified when I first got him. He was almost bald, underweight, dirty cage, and I taught him how to drink fresh water out of bowl, his previous owner had gerbil bottle hanging outside of his cage with brown water in it. I had to throw his perches away, took me 3 days to clean the crude off his cage. I taught him to scoot over instead of taking a chunk out of my arm when I gave him fresh water. He loved pumpkin seeds and nutriberries, I gave him breakfast of warm veggies, fresh seed, clean cage, twice a day. I am in so much pain over his loss. I wasn't prepared, I thought ok meds and we go home.
I wish I could take your pain away. You absolutely changed his life for the better. He finally knew love and care with you.
That's exactly how I felt with Nala,I knew She was absolutely sick but especially with how she seemed to rally that surely it would maybe be an overnight stay and several meds. The sight of her losing consciousness in the vets hands will haunt me forever.
But we hurt so much because we loved them so much and they were our worlds. And though the pain feels like it's too much to bare I feel sure that you like me wouldn't have changed the time we spent with them for anything.
 

Snowghost

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I wish I could take your pain away. You absolutely changed his life for the better. He finally knew love and care with you.
That's exactly how I felt with Nala,I knew She was absolutely sick but especially with how she seemed to rally that surely it would maybe be an overnight stay and several meds. The sight of her losing consciousness in the vets hands will haunt me forever.
But we hurt so much because we loved them so much and they were our worlds. And though the pain feels like it's too much to bare I feel sure that you like me wouldn't have changed the time we spent with them for anything.
You made me cry but that's ok. This group is so amazing. Maybe one day I will get another bird. Right now I am consumed with pain and my mind goes over everything I did. He fell to the floor of the cage when I panicked getting him to the vet. I hope he knew that I loved him more then my own life. I just miss him so terribly. Its so quiet, hes not here to talk to me. He won't wake me up in the morning tomorrow with his little chirp. I won't fix him breakfast or clean his cage. How do you get through this?
 

Kassiani

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I'm so so sorry to hear about Paco! Of course he loved you! And he knew you loved him!

My deepest sympathies over your loss :sorrow:
 

Snowghost

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I hope he knew that I loved him, it took me three years to give him a happy and healthy life. He was so neglected for 20 years of his life. Poor diet, filthy cage, brown water, they put plexi glass on three sides of his cage so they didn't have to clean it, he lived in 2 feet of soiled paper. I had to teach him how to eat out of a stainless steel bowl, lol I had to get a locking water bowl cause the little stinker figured out he could toss it. He was so loved by me and I wonder if there was something I could have done to save his life.
 

April

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You made me cry but that's ok. This group is so amazing. Maybe one day I will get another bird. Right now I am consumed with pain and my mind goes over everything I did. He fell to the floor of the cage when I panicked getting him to the vet. I hope he knew that I loved him more then my own life. I just miss him so terribly. Its so quiet, hes not here to talk to me. He won't wake me up in the morning tomorrow with his little chirp. I won't fix him breakfast or clean his cage. How do you get through this?
Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Definitely take the time to grief and process everything. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried myself to sleep for months after Nala died I'd be fine during the day for the most part but the grief would hit me strongest at night because we always had our nighttime ritual and the last thing I'd say every night for years was "Night night Nala love you,see you in the morning" and the night I lost her I automatically said it once I turned the lights out and then I just lost it and sobbed for hours until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.
As time passed it got a tiny bit easier. Nala's been gone for 5 years on the 21(I can't believe that's possible) and it still hurts so much and I miss her and think of her everyday. I've been able to open my heart to other birds and love them and they helped to heal me but there will never be another Nala and I'll miss her until I see her again at the Rainbow Bridge someday and can finally feel whole again.
Hopefully being able to talk to fellow bird lovers will help being around others who truly do understand.
 

Tiel Feathers

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Oh no, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sweet friend.:sorrow: He was lucky to have such love in his life.
:sadhug2:
 

Shannan

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Oh my heart just absolutely breaks for you. Walter was my everything and to lose him just took the breath out of me. I know when I lost Walter it really soothed my soul to read and reread everyones kind words. I am sitting here crying for you and wishing I could somehow make it better. Fly Free Paco.... Walter is there to greet you!:sad10::sorrow:
 

Snowghost

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Oh my heart just absolutely breaks for you. Walter was my everything and to lose him just took the breath out of me. I know when I lost Walter it really soothed my soul to read and reread everyones kind words. I am sitting here crying for you and wishing I could somehow make it better. Fly Free Paco.... Walter is there to greet you!:sad10::sorrow:
Your words mean so much to me, thank you so much.
 

Snowghost

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Yes he absolutely loved you... I know that with all my heart.
I hope so. He was my world, should I have called the vet earlier? Was his heart enlarged? Did I do something wrong, its so quiet here I can't take it.
 

fashionfobie

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I am sorry. These tragedies are not easy to overcome. I am sending you supportive thoughts.
 

Shannan

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You did the best you could with him and so be kind to yourself. I feel the quiet. It was/ is that way with me too. I also figured out that I went to his cage about a jillion times a day because I kept going to Walters cage even though it was empty. I needed that in the beginning and then finally it became difficult for me to keep seeing the empty cage so I took it down and cleaned it up. It was comforting and sad at the same time to clean up his cage and lovingly tuck his toys and perches away for now. The quiet was probably the most pronounced thing for me too (because I don't have another bird). Ironically. I have found a lot of noises around the house that I thought were Walter noises that I have come to find out, weren't (or at least not all the time).
 
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Snowghost

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Oh my heart just absolutely breaks for you. Walter was my everything and to lose him just took the breath out of me. I know when I lost Walter it really soothed my soul to read and reread everyones kind words. I am sitting here crying for you and wishing I could somehow make it better. Fly Free Paco.... Walter is there to greet you!:sad10::sorrow:
Yes this group is keeping me from falling apart. People don't understand the bond with a parrot or even a little budgie or a Love Bird or any bird. I am at a total loss. If I had thought he might die then maybe I wouldn't be so heart broken, I thought meds go home. Not this.
 

Snowghost

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You did the best you could with him and so be kind to yourself. I feel the quiet. It was/ is that way with me too. I also figured out that I went to his cage about a jillion times a day because I kept going to Walters cage even though it was empty. I needed that in the beginning and then finally it became difficult for me to keep seeing the empty cage so I took it down and cleaned it up. It was comforting and sad at the same time to clean up his cage and lovingly tuck his toys and perches away for now. The quiet was probably the most pronounced thing for me too (because I don't have another bird). Ironically. I have found a lot of noises around the house that I thought were Walter noises that I have come to find out, weren't (or at least not all the time).
I hang onto his cage, crying, I miss him so much. I turned of the air purifier and the lights, he is no longer here. I just can't stop crying, my head and heart hurt. I never thought for a second that he would pass away.
 

Dartman

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Walter loved you and knew he was safe and loved back. Nerd bird loved me and trusted me absolutely. His favorite things were to hang out with me and play, get treats, and snooze. He left me sitting on my arm at my computer desk where he loved to be with me.
It tore me up every bit as what you're going through and I ended up getting Lurch after feeling the same way. We really needed each other. He needed a safe loving home and I needed a new bird to love. My little sister found him for me and my family knew I needed a new friend. He went through similar things but after 5 years he decided I was worth trusting and a friend. You take the time you need and maybe a new different feathered soul will come into your life that needs your love again.
 

birdfloof

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I'm so sorry for your loss! I've been following your story for a bit and I am so sorry to hear that Paco passed! You gave him the best years of his life under your care! Even if it doesn't feel like it now, you will feel better. Just go into each day knowing that you did the best you could for him and gave him an amazing few years. Losing something close to you is always VERY hard, but over time, some of the sadness and pain will lower and you will begin to reminisce about the happy moments you had with him. I am wishing the best for you!
 

Snowghost

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I'm so sorry for your loss! I've been following your story for a bit and I am so sorry to hear that Paco passed! You gave him the best years of his life under your care! Even if it doesn't feel like it now, you will feel better. Just go into each day knowing that you did the best you could for him and gave him an amazing few years. Losing something close to you is always VERY hard, but over time, some of the sadness and pain will lower and you will begin to reminisce about the happy moments you had with him. I am wishing the best for you!
Thank you, it just ripped the rug out of my life. I wasn't ready. I thought he would come home with me.
 

birdfloof

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Thank you, it just ripped the rug out of my life. I wasn't ready. I thought he would come home with me.
Nobody is ever ready to lose a pet. Even people who know their pet is going to pass don't feel ready to not see them again. I've lost many pets over the course of my life and it does, in fact, feel like a hole in your heart that you feel won't go away. You did something for him that I've seen many people not do in my experience helping birds and their owners, you tried. You gave him the BEST fighting chance he had. Just taking him to the vet is a HUGE thing! Many bird owners I have seen in my experiences just don't think they need to take them to the vet. You cared for him so well and you gave him the best chance he could have. You will forever have the memories of him dancing around and listening to music with him. We´re all here for you!
 
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