Paco and I are at the vet (sad update post #25)

[Shannan]

you did not kill him. You did the best you could with him and made the best decisions based on what you knew. Paco would not want you blaming yourself as he knew how much you loved him. Grief is hard! But you are stronger than you believe. I miss Walter terribly but I cannot change anything I did (or didn't do for him) I can only continue to love him through memories. You got this and we are here for you.

 

[Snowghost]

@Shannan Thank you so much for you kind words. Did you ever get another parrot?

 

[Shannan]

@Shannan Thank you so much for you kind words. Did you ever get another parrot?

No I have not gotten to the point where I can get another parrot although my daughter got her first parrot (a crimson bellied conure) and I am totally enjoying being a grand parront . I am amazed at his youthfulness as Walter was an old man, content to quieter activities. I am not sure yet whether I will get another parrot as there are parts of my life that my not be best for parrot ownership (such as my mother's allergy to birds, etc) right now. Actually I would love to adopt an older parrot but because we have cats and live in an area where there are no bird rescues, I do not qualify for adoption. So I live vicariously through the stories of others right now. Maybe in a few years my situation will change . I (like you) cannot bear getting rid of Walter's cage right now (although I did finally get to the point that I put it away) and it was somewhat cathartic for me to lovingly clean and put away his cage. Grief is very individual and each on its own schedule. How long was it between when you lost your beloved Amazon and when you adopted Paco?

 

[Snowghost]

That's a story in its self. The gas station I go to, I see the same cashier. One day I saw her in the grocery store with a bottle of Hartz parrot food (cringe) I thought that food was banned. We got to talking and I told her I had a wild caught White Front Amazon and we would chat about birds and I would tell her the funny things Bugsy did and she would tell me about Paco, he was a 21 year old CAG. Then I had to tell her that Bugsy was at the vet. 2 days later she asked me how she was and with tears in my eyes I told her I had to help her cross the rainbow bridge. She told me she was looking to rehome Paco. She worked two jobs and didn't have time for him. I asked her if she was sure he was a CAG and she said yes. We agreed to meet. Paco was in terrible shape, underweight, cage 3ft deep in soiled paper and he smelled. I knew I had to take him. His long story of neglect is horrifying. Bugsy passed March 13, 2019 and I brought Paco home on March 19. His cage is still up. I feel that if I take it down, I'm admitting he is gone. I know he is but I still talk to him and keep our routines. I still can't go a day without crying my heart out.

 

[Pat H]

You sure didn't have enough time to get thru the grieving process w/ Bugsy, much less the added loss of Paco.. But you gave Paco an extra 4years of life! A GOOD LIFE, filled with love, cleanliness and good food. Do you think he would have made it those 4years without your intervention? Much less the health care!
Give yourself time and thoughts to get thru this time, though so difficult. And remember, that I said I had taken Freddies cage apart to use for an art project outside.. so everytime I look at it, I think of her.
Q-- do you have flowers/ ribbons/ or...? on Pacos cage? A memorial to her.. Might help...

 

[Snowghost]

The reason I jumped at the chance to adopt Paco is losing Bugsy was the worse. If you have ever been around an Amazon they are quit loud and vocal. I couldn't cope with the silence. When Sandy offered me Paco and I saw the condition he was in, I knew he would not live long in her care. I felt that God had sent him to me.