There is no need to apologize, he was an amazing bird. I had a Wild Caught White Front Amazon for 25 years, she started to slow down and I found this forum. Vet visit, I knew I would be coming home without her. She had crystals on her kidneys and severe gout. Years of poor diet, she wouldn't touch a veggie and the vet was awesome. I could keep her on meds and a padded cage, she could fly, but never again and I couldn't do that to her. I guess the shock of losing Paco was I figured it was a respiratory infection, meds and go home. He was on terrible diet for 21 years of his life of Hartz Parrot food, neglected, didn't know how to fly, no veggies. He was underweight, scared and filthy. His cage had crude on it, took me 3 days to clean it. They put plexiglass on three walls and there was 3 feet of soiled paper in his cage, he smelled. I worked with him for a year to get him to eat healthy, and trust me. They had a water bottle hanging outside of his cage that was dark brown with water in it. I had to teach him how to drink from bowl. I guess his loss hit me so hard is that I loved him dearly and worked so hard to improve his life and thought he would out live me. Yesterday, I fought back the tears, I told myself, it wasn't going to bring him back. His cage is still up in my room, I can't take it down. I'm trying my hardest to get used to the silence, its been five weeks today. Well, I'm starting to tear up so I better stop. Just having people here that understand means the world to me.