Paco and I are at the vet (sad update post #25)

[Snowghost]

Yes they do. He was my first Grey and having such an intelligent bird that interacted with me, talking, chatter, singing to the vacuum cleaner and just everything. I lost my best friend.

 

[SunTruth]

For sure his absence must be something difficult to deal with. In a way your life changed and it will take times to get used to it. In between I can only say hold on.

 

[Avis]

I just read this whole thread. I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you. I wish I could be there to hug you and help you through this. You did everything you could and more for your beautiful bird. You gave him the best years of his life and no bird could ask for better.

Sending love your way.

I wish there was more I could do. If there is ever anything you need, we're all here for you in any way we can be.

 

[sunnysmom]

Somehow, I missed this thread. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a bird is so hard. When I lost my cockatiel Sunny, my fiancé wouldn't let me stay alone in the house because he knew as soon as he left I would just sit and cry. So, he drug me on every errand, trip to the gas station, etc. I understand. It's hard. At the time, it seems like it will never feel better. It does. I don't think you even stop missing them but it goes from gut wrenching to more nostalgic. I remember all the good times and laughs more than his actual passing now.

I know you mentioned the difficulties of getting another bird, but there are so many birds out there in rescues in need of a good home. Something to think about when you're ready. And they're not nearly as expensive as a pet store or breeder. I don't know if there are any parrot rescues or even animal rescues near you but volunteering is something to think about too. For a long time, I didn't think I could have birds again and almost became a bunny hugger at our local animal rescue. (That's what they call the people that play with the bunnies.) Then I was asked to foster a bird instead, and now I have a house full. LOL. We never know where life will take us if we let ourselves be open to where it could lead.

 

[Snowghost]

I was going to reply last night to everyone's post but I just couldn't. Morning and nights are the hardest, I used to make him warm broccoli, sweet potatoes, peas and carrots for breakfast and supper, he got treats. The little stinker had to have them hand fed to him. I taught him to enjoy nutri berries, I swear I think it loved hearing the loud noise they made when he threw them on the floor. Some days are better then others. I teared up at the grocery store, when I went to the veggie section, he loved a slice of apple and when I saw the potatoes, I lost it. I stayed in the Mexican food isle til the tears stopped. This is harder then I expected. Maybe one day God will send me another bird. Until now, I just need to grieve and pray that I will get used to this new normal. I appreciate each and everyone of you.

 

[leslieg]

I am so sorry for your loss. Paco sounds like a wonderful bird, and the love you share was a sweet, sweet thing.

 

[Spearmint]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love

 

[Snowghost]

It's getting easier. Coming home knowing he will not be here still makes me cry. I try not to talk to him. He was such a large part of my life. I am glad the admins have not shut down this thread. It gives me comfort to just be able to chat and know that I am not alone during this difficult journey.

 

[Shannan]

It's getting easier. Coming home knowing he will not be here still makes me cry. I try not to talk to him. He was such a large part of my life. I am glad the admins have not shut down this thread. It gives me comfort to just be able to chat and know that I am not alone during this difficult journey.

I agree that it is helpful to have the forum. I still talk to Walter but it is easier now and I tend to lean in on the fond memories more than the pain (although it is still painful)

 

[Snowghost]

Tell me more about your Walter if it isn't to painful.

 

[Shannan]

I got Walter when I was 17 years old in all the wrong ways. I had spied him at a pet store one day but had pretty much talked myself out of getting a parrot (even though I wanted one badly). A week later I went out of the country for 10 days. Apparently while I was gone, Walter had decided to have some fun and he escaped his cage one night and opened up every bag of bird food they had on the shelf. The next day he went on sale half price. Well my Dad spotted the sale and brought him home. Needless to say there was no Internet, we knew virtually nothing about parrots and outside of one lone book in my HS library, I was pretty much on my own. Well Walter and I bonded. He was never a talker but boy could he make the noises. He famously did the meow mix commercial... you know. meow meow meow..... He had about 6 different meows. from a mew to a MEEEE OOOOWWWW!!!! He immitated a lot of the sounds around the house. microwave, phone, dogs barking, even my friends alarm system set up when they entered the code. He was a riot. Always into mischief. He pulled hair out of the guinea pigs head, he tormented the dogs, he threw is food (everywhere). But he was also laid back. He pretty much got along with everyone and he never bit me. Of course at the time I got him there was only the seed diet so he was difinitely a seed junkie. Our diet wasn't always the greatest (we shared a French fry or two in our day) but he was so much fun. He hated water except every now and then he would try to squish himself into his water bowl to take his yearly bath.... yep about one time a year. I tried putting in different bowls and different temperatures water and showers were very out (and boy was he mad at me for that...). He hated the water bottle but I foolishly had used it once or twice to "quiet him down". I learned quickly that it was a poor idea but at the time that was the recommended behavior. Walter and I moved many times. He ran off a few boyfriends, he conned a few more boyfriends (all of his new cages were bought by boyfriends) and he was there through thick and thin. We moved many times, spent two summers living at a camp. We survived a hurricane alone and snowed in, and tornadoes. He helped raise my kids. I was very worried when I first had kids because I was afraid that they would not respect Walter and vice versa. But Walter in his typical fashion somehow taught my kids at age 3 to bring him treats. Boy was that hard to control. I think we gained some weight then. He was always lean and he never really flew but he was always happy. He got really sick after developing a hematoma right at the edge of one of his nares. He lost a good bit of blood and was anemic. He spent two days in ICU and then a couple more days at the vets office. When he came home he was very thin and weak and everyday I would wake up expecting him to be gone but he survived. His arthritis became worse then and I knew at that point that he needed special care so I adapted his cage and really really focussed on him gaining weight while on the best diet I could talk him into eating (which still was more seeds than I wanted but I figured if I didn't give him some seeds, he was going to starve. (Pumpkin became our best friend). He lived about three years after this illness and the last year he seemed to be doing so great. Active and talking and playing (which he stopped doing when he was sick). That is one of the reasons why his sudden passing was so shocking to me was because he had seemed so much better. I had found the forum here and was really doing everything I could. Also I had retired which meant that I could spend even more time with him. I was absolutely crushed when he seemed so healthy that morning and all day and then one hour later he was just gone (and I was literally in the room right next to him with open doors). Not a sound, a bang, a squeak, just gone..... It has been hard as you know but I am starting to be able to talk fondly of him without tearing up but it has had a profound affect on me. It didn't help that just a couple of years ago I lost my beloved percheron horse that I had for almost as long (32 years). So I currently do not have a "heart" animal. I do have a dog and she is sweet and she tries very hard but she is not a heart animal. (and I don't know why or what the difference is but somehow she is not, even though I love her deeply). Sorry this is so long but it really helps to talk about him. That's why I am still on the forum even though I do not currently own a bird. (I do have a grandbird now and am enjoying watching my daughter form the deep bonds with her new conure). Again I am sorry that this is so long.

 

[Clueless]

We care and I totally get it. Secret isn't my heart bird but I love her.

 

[Snowghost]

There is no need to apologize, he was an amazing bird. I had a Wild Caught White Front Amazon for 25 years, she started to slow down and I found this forum. Vet visit, I knew I would be coming home without her. She had crystals on her kidneys and severe gout. Years of poor diet, she wouldn't touch a veggie and the vet was awesome. I could keep her on meds and a padded cage, she could fly, but never again and I couldn't do that to her. I guess the shock of losing Paco was I figured it was a respiratory infection, meds and go home. He was on terrible diet for 21 years of his life of Hartz Parrot food, neglected, didn't know how to fly, no veggies. He was underweight, scared and filthy. His cage had crude on it, took me 3 days to clean it. They put plexiglass on three walls and there was 3 feet of soiled paper in his cage, he smelled. I worked with him for a year to get him to eat healthy, and trust me. They had a water bottle hanging outside of his cage that was dark brown with water in it. I had to teach him how to drink from bowl. I guess his loss hit me so hard is that I loved him dearly and worked so hard to improve his life and thought he would out live me. Yesterday, I fought back the tears, I told myself, it wasn't going to bring him back. His cage is still up in my room, I can't take it down. I'm trying my hardest to get used to the silence, its been five weeks today. Well, I'm starting to tear up so I better stop. Just having people here that understand means the world to me.

 

[Pat H]

The tears have finally slowed down. I left all FB groups about parrots, the pain is still raw. One day maybe....Thank you for your posts.

It took a couple of years for us to stop the tears when we had thoughts of our beloved Timneh, Freddie... Though we still tear up at times... now we can laugh at the memories! [probably been close to 10yrs ago when we lost her].

 

[Snowghost]

I just wanted to thank everyone again. It is getting easier.... sometimes, his photos pop up on my memories on FB. I still can't take his cage down. I realize why our feather babies are so dear to us. They are our 2 year olds that never grow up. They laugh, play, crack us up, get cranky, and so frustrating. We feed them, take them to the vet and they give us unconditional love all the time. They are forever our babies and when we lose them it breaks our hearts. It helps to post here and ease some of my pain. The support I get here has really helped me through this heart breaking journey.

 

[Snowghost]

Two months ago today I lost my boy. When will the tears stop? I can't even walk through the produce section at the grocery store, bananas, apples, sweet potatoes were his favorites. The frozen vegetables are the worse, he had to have cube carrots and took me 6 months to get him to eat peas, I'll never forget when one squirted on my glasses. He adored broccoli, I don't think I'll ever be able to eat it again. Coming home is the worse, knowing he won't be here, his good bye whistles and his kisses. The grief consumes me. I don't know how anyone survives the death of a child. I They say time will heal............

 

[Clueless]

I get it.

I still miss the "what cha doing".....

 

[Snowghost]

First phrase I taught him and then he drove me crazy saying it every 10 minutes for two weeks.

I found this quote: Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Jamie Anderson.

 

[Sweet Louise]

I am sorry for your loss. He was an awesome bird. Thank you for rescuing him and giving him a better and loved life.

 

[Snowghost]

It was only 4 years, if I had found him earlier and gave him better nutrition and socialization he might still be alive. I shouldn't have agreed to an x ray, just put him on antibiotics for respiratory infection. I feel like I killed him.