• Welcome to Avian Avenue! To view our forum with less advertisments please register with us.
    Memberships are free and it will just take a moment. Click here

An intriguing (depressing?) discovery re: Kamara

hrafn

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/17/16
Messages
3,847
Location
Canada
Since this was the first Hallowe'en that Taco and Kamara have had at my house, I tried to ensure that they wouldn't be spooked by my costume. I wore each piece until they were used to it, then gradually started wearing the whole ensemble. They did a good job of recognising me, so I was pretty happy.

However, the idea of wearing my old black wig didn't occur to me until this morning, and it looked so nice with my outfit that I went with it, since I had already finished with the fids' morning routine and they wouldn't see me in it.

But of course since I wore it all day, I eventually forgot I even had it on my head, and when I got home and went in to feed Kamara, she had no clue who I was.

I started talking to her in my pirate accent (aka Irish, lol) without thinking about it, and she practically EXPLODED with excitement. She scrambled to the door of her cage and clung to the bars, dancing and begging to be let out.

And for anyone who doesn't know Kamara, that is so far outside of the norm for her, she may have been an entirely different bird! I have never, ever seen her so psyched and...happy?

I opened the door for her and sat down in my chair, and she clambered down to the floor and started playing.
PLAYING.

I was enthralled, but after a while my neck started complaining at me for still having my wig and hat on, so I left to take off my costume and wash my face, and went back to Kamara.

Who instantly, as soon as she saw me, went back to her old self (ie growling, snarking and lunging). I fully expected it, but I'm still astounded.

I don't know if it was the hair, the makeup, the accent, or all of the above, but something struck a chord.
I've had Kamara meet other people before, to see whether she has a preference for others, but she's always been a grouch to everyone.

I've thought before that Miss Mara sounds like she may have an accent, but since she never says much, it's been hard to determine. Maybe, just maybe, there was someone she loved in the past who was Irish.

Whatever it was, though, I can't decide whether I'm happy or heartbroken. It's so exciting to know that there's a cheerful, playful grey under that bundle of grumpiness, but the thought of her desperately missing someone so badly is agonising. Especially considering where she came from.

Hopefully she'll be that happy again someday. Hopefully.
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/25/16
Messages
15,817
Location
Texas
Real Name
Karen
I understand it hurts to know Kamara probably had a bond with someone else, but it has to hurt her even more to not have that person anymore. :( Greys have a reputation for being one person birds, and while it isn't always so, it is true for some birds. Having already bonded to someone and then going to a new home would be enough to make me afraid to bond with anyone else. :shrug:
I don't know if it was the hair, the makeup, the accent, or all of the above, but something struck a chord.
I am happy for you. This could be a step in the right direction at least. You've seen that she can be happy, that the playfulness is still inside her. I would try to repeat it, then remove one element the next time. If you lose the wig & it doesn't work for her, it might be the wig or the wig is at least part of it. :) Use what you find until she begins to associate that same happiness with you. Her grumpiness isn't about you, it sounds like a defense mechanism. And you just found a possible way to get past it. Consider yourself lucky!
:hug8:
 
Last edited:

hrafn

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/17/16
Messages
3,847
Location
Canada
I understand it hurts to know Kamara probably had a bond with someone else, but it has to hurt her even more to not have that person anymore. :( Greys have a reputation for being one person birds, and while it isn't always so, it is true for some birds. Having already bonded to someone and then going to a new home would be enough to make me afraid to bond with anyone else. :shrug:

I am happy for you. This could be a step in the right direction at least. You've seen that she can be happy, that the playfulness is still inside her. I would try to repeat it, then remove one element the next time. If you lose the wig & it doesn't work for her, it might be the wig or the wig is at least part of it. :) Use what you find until she begins to associate that same happiness with you. Her grumpiness isn't about you, it sounds like a defense mechanism. And you just found a possible way to get past it. Consider yourself lucky!
:hug8:
It's not the fact that she has a bond with someone else (she could hate me forever and it wouldn't hurt my feelings, I know better than that), it's her being miserable and lonely that hurts me. If I knew Kamara was found outside because she'd been lost, and I could find her old people, I'd be over the moon to reunite them!

But I don't know anything about her past. Or who she used to be with. I can't heal her wounds. :(

I just want my little ol' girl to be happy. Whatever that takes, whatever she needs.
 

Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
Super Moderator
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
4/28/18
Messages
19,194
Location
Vic, Australia
Real Name
Shez
Wow, I do not know whether to be excited or sad for you about all this. I think @faislaq has a great idea of trying to replicate the whole thing, maybe she will realize she can enjoy your company and feel comfortable dropping her guard while you are dressed up and talking pirate. Maybe once she does have a great time with you because she let you in she may just do it a bit more?
 

Lodah

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Joined
5/4/16
Messages
4,662
Location
Sydney NSW Australia
I am also in two minds about your experience... whether to be happy or feel sad about the event! Its goes to prove how intelligent fids really are and how much they retain all of what is good or bad in their lives! ;)
 

hrafn

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/17/16
Messages
3,847
Location
Canada
Since last night's revelation, Kamara has become something of a changed bird.

I've been considering letting her have a whole cage-free day for a while, since she's generally such a chill bird and reserves her rage for me and her toys, and today turned out to be that day.

She was very polite to me this morning, and gave me a few happy cockatiel chirps (lol), taking apple pieces from my hand without trying to murder me once she'd had her fill. She mimicked Kraziffir's "goodbye" whistle when I left for work, and when I stopped by to check on her in the afternoon she gave me a little happy dance.

This evening she's being very civil, and though she is still wary of me, she's decided that I am now safe enough that she can venture nearer to me when exploring the floor.

Most exciting of all, she knocked about a few beads while she was walking around! She was playing! With me right beside her!

Obviously it's only been like 33 hours, so I'm not about to hold my breath and expect her to stay this friendly. She has her ups and downs, this is just a very, very high up!

I'm so proud of her. She's willing to go distances that, if I were in her position, would scare me out of my wits!
:swoon:
 

EkkieLu

Rollerblading along the road
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/26/18
Messages
4,768
Location
Shelby Twp, Mich
Real Name
Tricia
Way to go!! I think you've reached her!!!
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/25/16
Messages
15,817
Location
Texas
Real Name
Karen
Okay, don't get your hopes up; I'll get mine up for you. :excited1: OMG OMG OMG!!!

This is the best Halloween treat ever. :dance5:
 

Lwalker

Rollerblading along the road
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Joined
5/2/16
Messages
3,443
Location
Ontario
Real Name
Lori
:pinklol3::pinklol3::pinklol3:
 

NirAntae

Walking the driveway
Joined
8/1/18
Messages
290
Location
Gary, IN (Chicagoland)
Real Name
Jennie
I agree that you should get back into complete costume for her. Heck, make it a frequent occurrence! If it helps her, so what if it feels silly? Let her come out and be happy and play around, then once she's worn off a little of her energy, as faislaq suggested, gradually remove one element at a time, in front of her, until you are back to 'normal'. It may not change much at first, but gradually she will figure out that you are the same person as when in the costume.
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/25/16
Messages
15,817
Location
Texas
Real Name
Karen
I know how much you like Halloween, @hrafn. This is your chance to drag it out, like folks who leave up their Christmas lights. Lol Go ahead, freak out the neighbors with your pirate costume til January! :roflmao:
 

hrafn

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/17/16
Messages
3,847
Location
Canada
I agree that you should get back into complete costume for her. Heck, make it a frequent occurrence! If it helps her, so what if it feels silly? Let her come out and be happy and play around, then once she's worn off a little of her energy, as faislaq suggested, gradually remove one element at a time, in front of her, until you are back to 'normal'. It may not change much at first, but gradually she will figure out that you are the same person as when in the costume.
I know how much you like Halloween, @hrafn. This is your chance to drag it out, like folks who leave up their Christmas lights. Lol Go ahead, freak out the neighbors with your pirate costume til January! :roflmao:
Well, parrots do love pirates! :D
 

faislaq

I have macaws and don't post enough pictures
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
10/25/16
Messages
15,817
Location
Texas
Real Name
Karen
Ahoy, Matey Lady! Any more luck with the fair maiden Kamara?
Have you had to dress up or talk like a pirate anymore?
 

nu2birds

Rollerblading along the road
Joined
2/24/17
Messages
1,086
Location
Seattle, Washington
Real Name
Kurt
Maybe you could dress up again sometime just for fun and play with her while you are in costume. Maybe she will continue to be warm up to you and want to interact and play with you now that she has discovered your inner Pirate!
 

hrafn

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/17/16
Messages
3,847
Location
Canada
Ahoy, Matey Lady! Any more luck with the fair maiden Kamara?
Have you had to dress up or talk like a pirate anymore?
Ah, I totally forgot to update!!

I was dressing up for a week or so, gradually removing bits and pieces of my costume until it was only me, and Kamara has become remarkably friendlier and more comfortable with me. She's still totally hands-off, which she may always be, but I can put my hands in her cage to clean, rearrange toys and switch out her dishes and she'll just watch me idly now instead of lunging or fleeing. :bliss:

She is also becoming more less afraid to go about her day while I'm in the room, and will play and preen and chat away without having to keep one eye on me. She's even been comfortable enough to turn her back to me without fearing a surprise attack.

I'm over the moon and so, so proud of her. :swoon: I could only dream of being half as brave as she is.
 

BirdField

Walking the driveway
Joined
6/21/17
Messages
247
Real Name
Finn
That's absolutely amazing! I'm so happy for you and Kamara!:hug8:
Such a strangely specific trigger as well, someone in her past must've come back in her memory there.
You're doing so amazing with her, she's warming up to you very well. She's doing wonderfully well in your care.
 
Top