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Should I give my Jenday away?

parsaxyz

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Hi all,

I have had Turok for about 5 months now, and he is still scared of me and my brother.

We never use force, never hit him, never even yelled at him. However, we did buy him from a pet shop (my country doesnt have breeders yet) and I think the constant touching grabbing and possibly abuse has made him lose all trust in us humans.

I really do love him and it pains me to say this but we have a child in the house and its only a matter of time for a nasty bite to occur (he bites us aswell if we dont try to SLOWLY take him)

And all of this after 4 months.

I have been offered to give him away to a family I do not know. I really don’t know what to do.

Please help.

PS: We have been very patient with him. Hes fine on our shoulders he calms down alot, but hes extremely afraid of hands. AND HE WILL BITE HARD.

Which means no scritches, almost little to no playing. He sort of just sits there silently doing nothing all day.

What should I do?
 

Greencheek Lee

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Stick train him so he doesn't have to get on your hands. Put a lock on the cage so the kid can't accidently let him out and teach children to stay away from the cage. He may eventually come around to hands, but even if he doesn't you can still love and interact with him. Unless you know the new home was going to treat him well I'd give it more time. You committed to him so give him all the chance you can.
 

webchirp

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One of my fosters took three years to come out her shell...and when she did, she busted out and was amazing. @Mizzely

It just takes time...four months isn't really very long. Agree with Lee...be proactive and away from the children.
 

camelotshadow

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It sounds like you just are expecting too much from a bird & with those high expectations maybe its best you find someone who is willing to give them time & work with them because in the end its still possible they will not want to be touched & handled so they need someone who is willing to accept the bird for whom it is.

If he is willing to sit on your shoulder sounds like he is OK with you just the hands so I would say he is workable.

Got to just go slow. Stick training is good if he needs to be moved & bites hands. You can offer him treats with the hands.
Even put popcorn on your forearm for him. Many birds who don't like hands will step up on the arm.

If he bites I would not have him on my shoulder!
 

sunnysmom

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Four months isn't really that long. However, it's really a question of what you want to do. It will take time, patience and effort. And he may never be the snuggle bird. Being able to handle, yes but not all birds are overly affectionate. If you want to come keep him, then yes, progress can definitely be made. As suggested, target training is a good way to start. But parrot ownership isn't for everyone. So, if it's not what you want to do, it's okay to find him a good home.
 

LSA

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One of my fosters took three years to come out her shell...and when she did, she busted out and was amazing. @Mizzely

It just takes time...four months isn't really very long. Agree with Lee...be proactive and away from the children.
I THINK @Dartman had a bird 5... yes 5... years before it trusted him. My Sherman made alot of progress her first week, but very little since. Some birds "warm up" to people faster than others.
@parsaxyz is right. Lock the cage! Children need to learn the cage is locked for a reason. My father taped off a no-walk zone that we kids learned don't go into unless you just want to bleed profusely. :hehe:
 

Sylvester

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You sound 'ify', so this might not be the best time to make such a big life changing decision for the bird.
 

LSA

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@sunnysmom is right! Owning a parrot is difficult at times.
@ianwhoiam has already dealt with an "I quit" rant from me.

Recently I was asked if I even wanted a bond with a special bird and was told it was okay if I didn't. I say the same thing, it's okay if you're not cut out to be a parrot owner. The hard part is admitting it.

Conures are tricky and moody. You have a particularly hard one! When conures love you, they worship you then the next day they hate you. They choose someone as their person and want that person's total attention until they don't.
 

Icey

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@camelotshadow and @sunnysmom have given you the same advice I would.
You can not FORCE them to be different or they will resent you and you will never build that much needed trust to establish a bond with them.
You need to have a lot, I repeat A LOT of patience and time. If the bird is being grabbed constantly, it WILL bite. I would too!
Whatever you decide to do, think of the bird please. :)
 

Lady Jane

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If the decision is made to find another home I wish you would take control of that choice. By that I mean do not give you bird away to someone you do not know and to a home you have not seen. Set up an interview and visit the home this bird will live in. Also please charge a fee for the bird because humans do not always take care of a bird that came to them free. Besides that this person may immediately re home the bird again for a high price. Its called bird flipping. The one that suffers in bird flipping is always the bird.
 

Sylvester

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If the decision is made to find another home I wish you would take control of that choice. By that I mean do not give you bird away to someone you do not know and to a home you have not seen. Set up an interview and visit the home this bird will live in. Also please charge a fee for the bird because humans do not always take care of a bird that came to them free. Besides that this person may immediately re home the bird again for a high price. Its called bird flipping. The one that suffers in bird flipping is always the bird.
Stellar advice as usual. I hadn't even thought about the price thing, but you are right. That is why I always cringe when I see 'free kittens or puppies'.
 

LSA

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If the decision is made to find another home I wish you would take control of that choice. By that I mean do not give you bird away to someone you do not know and to a home you have not seen. Set up an interview and visit a fee for the bird because humans do not always take care of a bird that came to them free. Besides that this person may immediately re home the bird again for a high price. Its called bird flipping. The one that suffers in bird flipping is always the bird.
I was concerned at first that Sherman might be a flip for several reasons.

Slow down. Remember, that not every bird likes every person. Take time to be sure the bird and the person are compatible. Find out if that person's home is compatible, too.
Does the potential owner have conure experience? Why the sale and purchase? The last thing the bird needs is another rehoming right away.
 

Skipper

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Use the stick training. When I rescued Gilligan he was young and fine with hands, but as he matured, he decided he did not like hands or being touched any more. He makes it clear with a warning to back off or else. He still likes me and and will fly to my shoulder and sit there happily making happy sounds. But no hands. Some birds are just that way. You just have to adapt. They are not bad birds, they just have strong opinions!
 

Begone

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What should I do?
If you do love him, keep him but get him a friend.
Which means no scritches, almost little to no playing. He sort of just sits there silently doing nothing all day.
Not all birds want a human to interact with. I'm sure that he will be very happy to interact with one of his one. @Lwalker
 

parsaxyz

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Thankyou for all your replies, Ive decided to keep him. Honestly, I wasnt keen on giving him up. Felt pure guilt from the mere thought of it, but I got an offer and I stated doubting myself.

Thats all gone now.

Thankyou all
 

Lady Jane

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Wonderful decision. There are members here who can guide you in helping your bird and family be more comfortable with each other. Just create a second thread detailing your expectations and more details about your Conure.
 

finchly

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Four months. Is not long at all to a bird. We gave our cockatiels away and got them back months later. Even though we had them as babies and they knew us, it took more than a year to get them calm again, and now they will ride on my husbands shoulders but they will only be on me or let me pet them in the bird room, no other place.

That was a year of working with them - training, talking, offering to pet their heads. Basically you have to go on the bird’s schedule, not your own idea of what it should be . :)

Good luck.
 

metalstitcher

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It takes time and patience for them to learn to trust you. As everyone else has said try stick training to get him to step up and just go slow with him. Don't rush things because it will make it worse. He is still scared and trying to figure things out.
 
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