RIP pista.

[parsaxyz]

Hello,

It pains me to say that my bestfriend has passed.

I really dont know how to get into it, just that i feel extremely guilty. I forgot to lock his cage door and he got out and had gotten stuck between my blanket and died.

Just to let you know im sort of soft hearted meaning i do tear up at sad videos and stuff. When i found him, that i had caused this broke me beyond i can explain. The pain i feel is insurmountable.
I cried for hours.

The guilt and missing him is what kinda brings a surge of intense emotions and I either tear up or let a few tears slide.

What is really bothering me is how I feel like ive accepted that he has passed. It somehow calms me down when i start to feel guilt or start missing him. This would sound like a person who is progressing with grief. But my bestfriend has passed merely hours ago. How am i like this? What twisted freak of a mind do i have that seems to have moved on like this?

Ofcourse, Im devastated. I called up the bods and took a week off. But somehow im feeling disloyal to my little friend as to how quickly im supposedly moving on.

Please help

 

[CrazyBirdChick]

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Grief can be very complex process. You can go from acceptance to denial to anger to sadness & back again. From acceptance to denial to anger to sadness over and over and over. It comes in waves.

Your body just may be trying to protect you from such intense feelings. Again, I'm so sorry!

 

[Princessbella]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is to lose a bird.

 

[Greencheek Lee]

I agree with CrazyBirdChick, it will come in waves. Being a short amount of time you may still be in shock. I'm sorry you lost your baby.

 

[Ninna]

How awful for you, I'm so sorry. I do agree with CrazyBirdChick, especially the bit about your body protecting itself from the pain. Grief can be very hard to cope with and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You just have to get through it the best you can and know that you will feel better in time. You loved your little bird and I'm so sorry this happened, but please don't punish yourself.

 

[Love My Zons]

I am very sorry for your loss. Hope you can find the peace that this was an accident.

 

[Smbrds]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[faislaq]

@parsaxyz You just cried very hard, for a long time. When you cry like that you get lightheaded and your body releases hormones to help calm you. Like the others have said, your grief will come in waves and the tears and subsequent calm will come again until the pain lessens to where you no longer need them. You are not over him, you are just between tears. Don't worry that you will forget him, you never will. You will keep him with you always.

 

[iamwhoiam]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[CeciliaZ]

I am so sorry

 

[TikiMyn]

What a horrible accident, that is what t was, an accident! Don’t blame yourself! I am Sl sorry, it must have been horrible to find him
You are not weird, as the others Said, grief comes in waves. When my cockatiel died the world seemed to collapse and I don’t even remember how long I cried or what I did. I only now I woke up in the morning and tested my father at midday. They sent the parents of my stepmother, who I do have a good bond with, to me but when they came I felt the same as you, like I was almost At peace. Don’t feel like you are a monster, you are processing what happened and not a monster!

 

[parsaxyz]

Thankyou all.

It actually helps that there are people that know what its like. God dammit I guess he just wanted to cuddle with me. I guess that says something about our friendship. I made sure to never let him feel alone.

Im kinda happy that I spoilt him.

You stole my heart and flew away.

Rest in peace lil buddy.

 

[danadear]

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry.

Years ago I walked outside with my first bird, my cockatiel Hootie on my shoulder, I'd forgotten he was there. The screen door slammed and it startled him. He flew up high in a tree and whistled Andy Griffith for me. I know he was afraid to fly down. He flew away. I was devastated and so guilt stricken. I cried for days and days combing the woods whistling Andy Griffith tunes.

I still get that sinking feeling when I remember it.

It was an accident so learn from it and move on. And that peace you feel? I call that God's mercy and love for us.

 

[parsaxyz]

Thankyou

I really miss him. Hopefully, Ill be able to let another feathered or furry friend into my life.

Again, Thankyou all very much.

You have no idea how alone I felt untill I got your responses. Godbless

 

[Catherine89]

Oh hun I’m so sorry, but it was a accident pure and simple you cannot beat your self up over it . You cry as much as you need to there is nothing wrong with it.

 

[DQTimnehs]

I'm so sorry! I also know how it feels to lose your best little friend and have the guilt of it, knowing it was preventable "if only...". Losing my little buddy, Pogo, was the worst experience of my life. With time, the pain will lessen but you will never forget.

 

[webchirp]

I am so very sorry

 

[expressmailtome]

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[sunnysmom]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Bagpipes]

I too, am sorry for your baby. I have a couple of painful, past experiences of guilt, but they happened, and I try not to beat myself up, but it's hard at times. I just know they are flying near God, and that gives me peace.
Good that you took time off of work, nobody can tell you when to stop grieving....as a matter of fact, I think we all still have our "moments", and that's ok....it's all part of the process of coping and healing.