genuinely questioning if I can do this

[Tapew0rrm]

The loudness is..really getting to me

I feel really bad saying it, because again I signed up for this, and I keep telling myself I don't mind it, it's just noise, but I don't know if a conure is the right bird for me, I feel like I heavily underestimated how loud they are and at this point I just feel exhausted all the time. I love him so much, but Aro is just..so..loud, and at this point I'm just dreading the day time because it's just like, a constant day of so much tiredness..

I don't know what to do now. I jus feel terrible all the time. I feel so ashamed of it, I really really feel like I made a mistake that I can't take back.

 

[April]

I'll add more to this thread after I get off work since i just got here. I went through this exact same thing and sadly in the end I had to rehome.

 

[Pixiebeak]

If he is awake most of the night this is going to cause issues.

My birds are uncovered and part of the great room. I keep lights low and TV low. But its not pitch black or quiet. They do fine. But they do all have sleep tents .

Conures to my best research knowledge, use their tree hollows year round in the wild and not strictly for breeding season and raising young.

So you might find giving him a tent in an upper corner is very helpful. He will feel safe and likely sleep better. Not fuzzy ones that are easy to pull fuzz off, and any fabric ones or anything that gets chewed should be replaced. As fuzz and threads can lead to crop impaction.

So I highly recommend giving him one today.

 

[Mizzely]

Parrots are hard to live with.

Sometimes we are not the right home.
Sometimes we are not the right person.
Sometimes it just does not work out.

It is okay to be honest about your limits and what you can handle.

I did not realize it when I brought home a baby Quaker that he would end up screaming 8 hours a day. When people told me parrots are loud, that possibility was not on my mind. I didn't know that my anxiety could be triggered by loud repetitive noises then.

I ended up letting him live with my mother in law after dealing with it for years. It hurt our relationship to force him to be with me out of guilt even if I was miserable. I think now he knew it. I feel guilty for not letting him go sooner.

The world is not black and white. We can plan for everything and still not be prepared.

That being said, have you tried ear plugs or another way to drown out the noise? Sometimes there is an in-between that works

 

[Tapew0rrm]

I'll add more to this thread after I get off work since i just got here. I went through this exact same thing and sadly in the end I had to rehome.

Thank you, I would really appreciate it. I feel awful for feeling so bad, and I keep getting scared to talk about how awful I feel incase people think I'm terrible for feeling the way I do, but its like...I don't know how to take care of him, I feel so out of my depth

 

[Tapew0rrm]

Parrots are hard to live with.

Sometimes we are not the right home.
Sometimes we are not the right person.
Sometimes it just does not work out.

It is okay to be honest about your limits and what you can handle.

I did not realize it when I brought home a baby Quaker that he would end up screaming 8 hours a day. When people told me parrots are loud, that possibility was not on my mind. I didn't know that my anxiety could be triggered by loud repetitive noises then.

I ended up letting him live with my mother in law after dealing with it for years. It hurt our relationship to force him to be with me out of guilt even if I was miserable. I think now he knew it. I feel guilty for not letting him go sooner.

The world is not black and white. We can plan for everything and still not be prepared.

That being said, have you tried ear plugs or another way to drown out the noise? Sometimes there is an in-between that works

I think I really needed to hear that, because I feel exhausted..

specifically this part

> It hurt our relationship to force him to be with me out of guilt even if I was miserable.

That's what I feel right now, like I HAVE to take care of him because it's what I signed up for, because I'm too stubborn to just admit "this is too much for me" and try to find other options, or even admit to my parent that I am finding it hard, they keep telling me "he HAS to get used to you eventually", but I just don't feel like the right person at all and that I can't care for him how I want to.

 

[Tapew0rrm]

If he is awake most of the night this is going to cause issues.

My birds are uncovered and part of the great room. I keep lights low and TV low. But its not pitch black or quiet. They do fine. But they do all have sleep tents .

Conures to my best research knowledge, use their tree hollows year round in the wild and not strictly for breeding season and raising young.

So you might find giving him a tent in an upper corner is very helpful. He will feel safe and likely sleep better. Not fuzzy ones that are easy to pull fuzz off, and any fabric ones or anything that gets chewed should be replaced. As fuzz and threads can lead to crop impaction.

So I highly recommend giving him one today.

I'll give this a shot and try to find one. Would a seagrass hut work? He used to have similar but he ate through it,,,fast

 

[Shannan]

Because they are so long lived, we all go through cycles when we doubt ourselves, question whether this is right, etc. A couple of things to also consider: Is your bird young? They tend to mellow a bit when they age so it may be a phase that they are going through. Hormones can also affect them, as well as illness, or stress. Is this yelling a new behavior? If so I would look into why and then try to remedy that first. Ultimately like the others have said, sometimes it is just not a good match and rehoming is the kindest thing to all. Only you can decide that and no one should judge you for deciding to re home a bird. Is there someone you trust who could maybe take your bird for a short period of time to give you some respite from the noise and time to figure out in your head what is the best decision for you and your bird? Sometimes just a good break is all you need to regroup and keep going. We are all here for you and will support you.

 

[Pixiebeak]

For established screamers i find no amount of ignoring is going to fix it. I know this goes against most of what's written out there. But I have successfully rehabilitated several screaming parrots.

I'll share what helped me and mine.

Covering the basics. Have to stick this in as is so important and lots of other people read these threads.

First off veterinarian exam . And congratulations well done I know you have already!

Cage. Needs to be as big as you can accommodate. But a good rule of thumb is if your parrot stands with wings fully extended out. Then you could fit 2 1/2 of your parrots lined up wing tip to wing tip across the length of your cage. The depth from front to back of cage should be 1 1/2 extended wing tip parrot length. Your cage looks perfect from picture.

Cage placement. Back against a wall . If I'm unable to do that, I use a thick white sheet or white curtain, or white shower curtain cut to fit the back of cage and zip tie attach. I use ehite to let light in. Dark not hood reduces psrtit activity


Know triggers and try and avoid or set them up for success before hand. For example if you screaming starts as soon as they finish eating breakfast. Then right as they finish get them out and move them to perch hang out .

 

[Wardy]

A tired conure is a kranky conure, both of my birds are ready for bed and there cages covered at 7.30 each evening.
When screaming do they have enough food available ? Mine get noisy if its time for more food.
Do you have a daily routine for him ? If there is a change of routine for any reason it can trigger a noise fest.

 

[Tapew0rrm]

A tired conure is a kranky conure, both of my birds are ready for bed and there cages covered at 7.30 each evening.
When screaming do they have enough food available ? Mine get noisy if its time for more food.
Do you have a daily routine for him ? If there is a change of routine for any reason it can trigger a noise fest.

I cover his cage at 8pm every night, and wake him at 9am, though I'm a little nervous that he might get woken up by my parent waking up around 6ish every morning (He tends to be a bit obnoxiously loud, even when I've asked him to try to be quieter)

Food/water is the first thing I check when he's screaming to make sure he's okay, but it's normally not the issue I genuinely cannot figure out what the issue could be.
We have a pretty consistent routine, wake up at 9, change food/waterm open cage at 11 + give him his first bit of fresh food, spend time together through the day and talk to him, and then close his cage around 6pm to help him relax a little before bed, give him some more fresh food/water and I cover his cage at 8

 

[Wally&Eva]

When Eva was a baby, she was inconsolable, they pulled her from the clutch early and she was the runt. On top of the normal feedings, every 3-4 hours, she would just scream and in turn would be so tired, would scream more. More food, attention, ignoring, nothing would work. Often, I would just have to go in and take her out the brooder and hold her close and rock her like a baby for a while. I was also so tired that it brought me to tears. I legitimately was afraid everyday my neighbor would come over and be like nope nope nope. I was on edge often and really felt like, I don’t know if I could do this. So you aren’t alone and you don’t have to feel ashamed. I can’t tell you that it gets better because what worked out for me, may not for you and because I don’t have conures. But I will say, don’t lose hope. I hope you guys can overcome this!

 

[Pixiebeak]

ok phone died. This is going to be alot about set up, background basics for life with parrots at first. Because all of this needs to be taken into account before addressing behavior issues. And behavior has a reason .

I never start to address a behavior issue, until I've overhaul every aspect of a parrots life. Often when all is taken into account it drops screaming by 75% right off the bat.

Cage should be where people are . If you spend nearly 100 of your day in your room that's ok. But I'd still probably have a small day cage or put a Play station in main part of house. Give your parrot several tours of the home. A lot easier if they step up and sit on you. But a very small travel cage might work. Sometimes there is a little fear to leave the immediate area if the cage. So you start out only going a few feet from cage abd in sight line of cage. Then back to to cage. Repeat, out of room back to cage. Until you have mapped the whole house for them. Its important as also provides them flight path back to cage . Example if I took from my room to kitchen, I would then take them back to my room step to cage. Then back to me and we would go back out to say the living room next then back to cage.

In multi people homes. The parrot knows ther are other people . And some basic good manners of cohabitation can have a huge impact. And what I share next on that was from a behavior consultant my friend hired to help her with a screaming African grey. Wow did it help her ! First take the time to re introduce one at a time all the people who live in the home. Have each come into the room with you. Tell your parrot this is my mom, and have her say hello " parrots name ". Have a treat only dish right at the front if the cage. And have the introducing person put a treat seed in it.. white safflower seeds are my go to.. or if takes nice hand one to them. Next All people in the home come and say goodmorning to the parrot . And put a seed in treat dish. All people in the home come and tell the parrot when they are leaving the home, treat in dish. As soon as all people return to the home they come and tell the parrot im back hello! And treat in dish.
Parrots are flock creatures, its so important to them to keep track of flock. It can be a huge frustration and stress to them to not know who's coming and going.
Im really stressing this because of the unbelievable difference it made for my friend! For me! For others I've helped!

They in my opinion need a window to look out. Need some natural light. They need 12 hours of light. If your room is dim, then you need to have some lights on during the day as well as blinds open. Its physiological and psychologically important. Just as important as the 10-12 hours uninterrupted sleep.

 

[MommyBird]

I wanted to link here to post #5 in your thread so people could hear videos you made.
A long thread of needed advice to save on multiple threads

I don't really know how to say it as I know a constant noise can make people crazy but boy with my flock that would sure not be considered screaming.
It sounds to me he is just amusing himself and kinda wondering where the other birds are and why it's so quiet.
It doesn't sound any worse than budgie or cockatiel chatter, which both can be incessant and make people crazy.

I do know screams of other conures -
Over more than 50 years of keeping parrots of all sizes, I had a Blue-crowned conure many years, currently have a Jenday conure, Hahns macaw, Goffin cockatoo, BFA and OWA. Also Pionus and budgies in the past. I've had a hearing test and do now have some hearing loss in low pitches, but high is fine.

Some people just can't take the normal noises. It's just the way it is. They make noises and messes.
I'm not trying to put you down, you are new to keeping birds and trying to figure out what is going on.
I'm trying to help, but they don't sound like screams so trying to appease screaming is not the answer.
I think he's new and lonely and confused and talking to himself.

I guess I'm hoping more conure folks will listen to the sounds and maybe have ideas of what kind of sounds they are in their opinion.

edit to add - I don't think the body language is "screaming bird" either.

 

[Pixiebeak]

I'll give this a shot and try to find one. Would a seagrass hut work? He used to have similar but he ate through it,,,fast

The seagrass are not comfortable for sleeping. This is one of the ones I use and like.
All Living Things® Cozy Cabana Bird Hut | bird Toys | PetSmart

 

[Tapew0rrm]

I wanted to link here to post #5 in your thread so people could hear videos you made.
A long thread of needed advice to save on multiple threads

I don't really know how to say it as I know a constant noise can make people crazy but boy with my flock that would sure not be considered screaming.
It sounds to me he is just amusing himself and kinda wondering where the other birds are and why it's so quiet.
It doesn't sound any worse than budgie or cockatiel chatter, which both can be incessant and make people crazy.

I do know screams of other conures -
Over more than 50 years of keeping parrots of all sizes, I had a Blue-crowned conure many years, currently have a Jenday conure, Hahns macaw, Goffin cockatoo, BFA and OWA. Also Pionus and budgies in the past. I've had a hearing test and do now have some hearing loss in low pitches, but high is fine.

Some people just can't take the normal noises. It's just the way it is. They make noises and messes.
I'm not trying to put you down, you are new to keeping birds and trying to figure out what is going on.
I'm trying to help, but they don't sound like screams so trying to appease screaming is not the answer.
I think he's new and lonely and confused and talking to himself.

I guess I'm hoping more conure folks will listen to the sounds and maybe have ideas of what kind of sounds they are in their opinion.

I think you're right, I'm not very good with sound. The last bird I had was a cockatiel who was very quiet and jumping from a bird that made barely no noise, and a canary that was very quiet too, thinking that (what I thought at the time) a green cheeked conure would not be as loud as others, was a huge mistake and his level of noise just isn't good for me, especially given sensory overload.

Do you think it would be better for me to find him a home with someone who is better suited to noise? Or give it a few more weeks before considering that to see if I can get used to it? I don't want him to feel lonely..

 

[Pixiebeak]

I wanted to link here to post #5 in your thread so people could hear videos you made.
A long thread of needed advice to save on multiple threads

I don't really know how to say it as I know a constant noise can make people crazy but boy with my flock that would sure not be considered screaming.
It sounds to me he is just amusing himself and kinda wondering where the other birds are and why it's so quiet.
It doesn't sound any worse than budgie or cockatiel chatter, which both can be incessant and make people crazy.

I do know screams of other conures -
Over more than 50 years of keeping parrots of all sizes, I had a Blue-crowned conure many years, currently have a Jenday conure, Hahns macaw, Goffin cockatoo, BFA and OWA. Also Pionus and budgies in the past. I've had a hearing test and do now have some hearing loss in low pitches, but high is fine.

Some people just can't take the normal noises. It's just the way it is. They make noises and messes.
I'm not trying to put you down, you are new to keeping birds and trying to figure out what is going on.
I'm trying to help, but they don't sound like screams so trying to appease screaming is not the answer.
I think he's new and lonely and confused and talking to himself.

I guess I'm hoping more conure folks will listen to the sounds and maybe have ideas of what kind of sounds they are in their opinion.

edit to add - I don't think the body language is "screaming bird" either.

Thank you do much for linking in this thread so helpful! @MommyBird

 

[Tapew0rrm]

I think I'm gonna have a talk with my friends and see what they think, but I'm heavily thinking rehoming him might be the best option, I feel like I made a huge mistake and I can't take proper care of him atall.

I genuinely feel terrible about it, but I can't make him happy if its hurting me

 

[Pixiebeak]

so your first video when putting in food. He is just displaying natural curiosity and interst. Not aggression. You are going to need to up your confidence. All your hesitancy abd moving back and forward with bowl can start teaching them to bite. When are the end he goes to the outside perchs and sits and gives a little tail wag. That's happy and confident and him happy to have had a bit of interaction and attention. In cage noise is just happy burd noise and normal.

In the second video of out of cage noise. That cover or bit of blanket on top of his cage is triggering him a little. Don't have anything like that in top of cage during the day. That can trigger a hormone abd best search in my gccc. If I've left some cover bits on top of her cage it really can make her nuts.. Plus its the only thing of interest up there.
@Wardy has some awesome ones I think!

I also don't really classify this as behavioral screaming.
Its not the funnest noise to listen to over and over. But in the normal im a parrot and I like to chatter make noises.

Abd I think you could really decrease that with more to do. More attention from you , directing activities a little, a little interactive foraging

 

[Pixiebeak]

I think I'm gonna have a talk with my friends and see what they think, but I'm heavily thinking rehoming him might be the best option, I feel like I made a huge mistake and I can't take proper care of him atall.

I genuinely feel terrible about it, but I can't make him happy if its hurting me

Im sorry that this little cutie and his vocals are overwhelming for you. That's tough.

Great you are honest and know your triggers. We are all different.

He should be easy to place in a great home as he does not have behavior issues. He is curious and engaging. Vocals in normal range.

Be sure and vet all possible homes, share that burds make noise that not all tolerate share your examples.
I hope you fund a really great and loving home for him.