I am so sorry Jeff, so very very sorry. (I loved you)

[Sylvester]

Yes, she was a cat, but please keep on reading.

I feel so sick as I write this post, sick in my heart, sick in my soul.

I lost the most beautiful beings I have ever known. Jeff was her name, and she was a 15 pound Tabby Cat with a wild exotic face in the likes that I have never seen before. She came into my life seven years ago.

I noticed a raggedy tabby cat in my backyard, and thought to myself that this old tom cat has come here to die. I started feeding him which was not easy since he was so wary of every step I made. I literally had to leave the food and milk, and walk away saying: "I won't' bother you any." We got physically closer every few days. Five months I could reach out and touch him, and it scared him. The next day I held out my hand to him, he sniffed it, and then jumped up on his hind feet to bump my hand with his head. We were finally friends, and neither one of us looked back.

Well, I soon discovered that Jeff was a she, but the name stuck. Every night she would greet my car, come inside for a bite to eat, cuddle,, and play. She was a huge cat with an equally size love for life. She would come to nobody else, which I guess made me feel very special. During bad weather she would always sleep inside.

When I got my kitten, Darby, none of my cats would play with him, except Jeff. She nurtured him.

I would tell her every night as I let her out that neither of us goes without the other. I was in a hurry on Friday night and forgot to tell her that or even that I loved her. That was the last time I saw her.

I found her in my shed this morning. I will have an autopsy done tomorrow, and I am so scared of what will be found. Please God, don't let her have suffered in any pain or have died from the hands of another. I couldn't bear the thought her being hurt. Please let it be of natural causes.

Jeff, why did you leave me, you and I made a promise to one another. I don't know how I can go on without you. You broke my heart, Jeff. Why didn't you come back to say goodbye?

I never even took a photo of her. I told myself that if I found her that I would.

I failed you, my warm and wonderful friend, and I am so so sorry.

 

[alshgs]

I’m so sorry love

 

[Sylvester]

Thank you, alshgs. I hope she knew how much she was loved.

 

[Zara]

I´m so sorry for your loss. That is a very hard post to read.
I hope she didn´t suffer, she sounds like a wonderful cat.
Don´t feel bad about not telling her you loved her that last day, she would have known it. I believe cats and dogs don´t hear the words, instead they feel our actions.
If you struggle, please reach out to someone

 

[Sylvester]

I´m so sorry for your loss. That is a very hard post to read.
I hope she didn´t suffer, she sounds like a wonderful cat.
Don´t feel bad about not telling her you loved her that last day, she would have known it. I believe cats and dogs don´t hear the words, instead they feel our actions.
If you struggle, please reach out to someone

Thank you, Zara. I am so struggling with her leaving. I keep thinking that if she had only come back to me, and not the shed, that I could have saved her. That is what friends do, we have one another's back. She appeared at a very difficult time in my life and she pulled me through it. But she is gone and I can't bring her back. A part of me died with her.

 

[Lady Jane]

We care and are deeply sorry for this loss. Hugs and memories.

 

[Sylvester]

We care and are deeply sorry for this loss. Hugs and memories.

Thank you, Di. I don't know why she had to leave me. She ate her dinner that night and then went out. I am so fearful of finding out that somebody hurt her. I don't think I could bear that.

I know you care; thank you, my friend.

 

[Mizzely]

She may have known it was time and found it too hard to say goodbye to you too, and didn't come back to spare you. It sounds like you were both special to each other. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My best feline friend Jasmine died in November and I used to always tell her she had to live as long as me because I similarly didn't know how I would survive without her.

I'm sad to report I'm still learning, but it is getting easier.

 

[Zara]

I know unfortunately too well those feelings of ¨what if¨ and ¨if only¨, and they don´t lead to a good place.

She didn´t choose to leave you. Death stole her from you. Hopefully it was her time, and not the choice of evil.

Maybe you could create a corner in your garden or on your patio, and plant a tree in her name. Paint a stone with a few words? Then you can go and sit there and feel a little peace.

 

[Dartman]

 

[Sylvester]

She may have known it was time and found it too hard to say goodbye to you too, and didn't come back to spare you. It sounds like you were both special to each other. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My best feline friend Jasmine died in November and I used to always tell her she had to live as long as me because I similarly didn't know how I would survive without her.

I'm sad to report I'm still learning, but it is getting easier.

Thank you, Mizzely. I am so sorry for the loss of your good friend, Jasmine.


She pulled me through a terrible time in my life and literally saved it. She wasn't suppose to go, she wasn't. She ate her diner that night and then wanted to go out. Any other cat that has left me, usually refused to eat on their last day. That is haunting me; what if something really bad happened to her and I wasn't there to save or help her? The autopsy will help with that part, but I don't think anything will help me cope.

 

[BeanieofJustice]

I am very sorry for your loss, and please, don’t say that you failed her. Jeff knee how loved she was and how much she meant to you and you meant to her. I will say, at least you gave each other love and comfort for seven years. I felt the same way when I lost my cat, Baby Fred. Jeff knew she was loved and cared for, and you did so much for her you gave her seven years of happiness and comfort that she might not have gotten elsewhere.
Cats are as much family as the other animals in our lives.
I’m so sorry again, I hope the autopsy gives you answers.

 

[Princessbella]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Sylvester]

I am very sorry for your loss, and please, don’t say that you failed her. Jeff knee how loved she was and how much she meant to you and you meant to her. I will say, at least you gave each other love and comfort for seven years. I felt the same way when I lost my cat, Baby Fred. Jeff knew she was loved and cared for, and you did so much for her you gave her seven years of happiness and comfort that she might not have gotten elsewhere.
Cats are as much family as the other animals in our lives.
I’m so sorry again, I hope the autopsy gives you answers.

Thank you so very much, and I am sorry for the loss of Baby Fred. They break our hearts.


I am so haunted by all of this. This might sound strange but a few months ago I saw Jeff coming towards me from the other side of the road. It had cars coming down at the moment, so I jumped out in front of them because I knew they would probably stop for a human, and if they didn't, at least I saved her. That is how I felt about her; I would have taken a bullet for her.

But she didn't give me the chance to save her this time.

This is a horrible life, and it has been made even more horrible by her leaving it. I pray that she is happy.

And I pray for answers.

 

[Sylvester]

I

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, Princessbella. I am really having difficulty in accepting the fact that she is gone.

 

[Sylvester]

I know unfortunately too well those feelings of ¨what if¨ and ¨if only¨, and they don´t lead to a good place.

She didn´t choose to leave you. Death stole her from you. Hopefully it was her time, and not the choice of evil.

Maybe you could create a corner in your garden or on your patio, and plant a tree in her name. Paint a stone with a few words? Then you can go and sit there and feel a little peace.

I couldn't protect her this time. I couldn't save her.

I am so tired of being the one who is left behind, the one who has to grieve. I am really having a hard time with the passing of Jeff.

 

[lexalayne]

I’m so sorry she’s gone and I’m so sorry for your anguish - sounds weird but I’m crying for you- she loved you and probably still does somewhere.

 

[Sylvester]

I’m so sorry she’s gone and I’m so sorry for your anguish - sounds weird but I’m crying for you- she loved you and probably still does somewhere.

Thank you, lexalayne. I have been searching for her since yesterday. I had a funny feeling when I went out and called for her at 2 a.m. Saturday morning; she always comes to me at that time.

I grieving so hard, and I am so torn by guilt. She was my baby.

 

[Lady Jane]

We are here for you in this time of grief.

 

[lexalayne]

This is so hard with our animals.. I wish they lived longer.. especially when they find you and it’s meant to be. Ones like her are the hardest to lose.