Who is my bird bonding with?

[Rhoadsette]

Okay this might be a long post so I will try to keep it short.

I bought a GCC back in June to be my bird. I bought him from a petco store because he was in poor health and it broke my heart to see him in a small tank with nothing to do all day. So I purchased him and all his necessary supplies. Now, I know that you shouldn't buy parrots on a whim, but when I met him in the store we kind of connected. He came right up to the glass and when I walked away from his enclosure he would scream and run around along the edge of the glass. My mother has had previous experience with birds, so she schooled me on everything. We took him home and that night I read everything I possibly could about conures. The day after I got him, he was already wanting to play with me and was very friendly and loving. I finger trained him myself, and even taught him how to step backwards as well. We played together and spent quality time and everything was great.

Fast forward to now: I had wanted to socialise him with other people so that he would not become aggressive towards anyone, and so he could explore the house. I introduced him to my mom and my dad after about 2 weeks of just me and him. He did not want to interact as much with my father, but he really liked my mom a lot. So, he had a little time each day or every few days to visit with my mom and my dad so he could get to know them better, as I didn't want any aggression issues. However, shortly after he first interacted with my mom, he stopped playing with me as much. He wasn't aggressive towards me, but now it's gotten to the point where if he hears her in another room talking, he goes looking for her. If I walk by her or get anywhere near her, he will fly off of my finger or my shoulder to her, every time, like clockwork. Most of the time she is not even aware of him being in the room, or she didn't even call him over. If I leave him in my room with the door open, and step out into the hall for a moment, he will fly out of my room to her. (He isn't fully flighted but he can flap his way a certain distance). If he flies to her and she is busy and I need to take him back, I will offer my finger and try to get him to step up but he will give me a warning bite showing he does not want to come to me, or he will just move away from my hand. I have to ask him to step up 5 or 6 times sometimes for him to finally do it.

When he is with my mom, he play fights with her (not aggressive, very gentle play fighting) and he will roll around on his back with her and play with her. he lets her pet him all over and I am sure that if I left him with her instead of taking him back he would probably stay with her all day.

He is strangely not aggressive with me though. A lot of people seem to have their bird bond with one person and be aggressive to all others. While he acts like he strongly prefers my mother due to his flying behaviour, he will cuddle with me a lot. However, if he hears her or she comes in the room while I'm cuddling him he immediately gets up and flies to her. He used to play with me a lot but now he does not play as much. He still likes to be petted by me though. He will also share food with me, as well as shower with me. My mother has not tried to do these activities with him, as she says he is not her bird.

A few of his behaviours I haven't been able to find answers to. He head bobs to me, but he regurges to my mom and myself. When I call him to fly to me (I started training him to fly to me on command when I got him and he would successfully fly to my finger; my mom gave me pointers) he will just fly to my mother. And if he is already with my mother, he will not fly to me at all,ever. He makes noises back and forth to me as well. He chirps and I replicate his chirp and we go back and forth.

I am wanting to know if he is bonding with her, and not me, and if I should get another conure for myself and give Randy (that's his name) to her so that he can have a larger portion of her attention. I want him to be happy because I really love him and he's brightened all our lives. He was originally bought for me and was supposed to be my bird, but I know that you can't control who they favour or bond to. He really loves my mom a lot and always wants to be with her. However, I'm 17 and I will be moving out soon. If he really is bonded to her and not me should I let her keep him? She is disabled and I don't know if she will be able to care for him properly, however if I take him away from her in the future I don't want him to become depressed or feather pluck. Because I don't know what his behaviour means at this point because I have scoured the Internet all about conures and haven't found an answer. He is 7 months old.

Thanks so much for reading all this and I hope someone can help me I really wanted my own bird as I have found I am quite a bird person I love them so much. However, I want him to be with the person that makes him the happiest. Thanks ahead of time for any advice or thoughts.

-Sarah

 

[Tommymarshall]

Ok Sarah, that is a lot to take in. But you're concerns are great, that you care about Randy so much. It's really not what you are doing, it's what you're bird finds important. I really don't think you should think of another bird if you're mom is not 100% capable of taking care of him. You will offer a better life for him right? You know that. Yes your mom will always be priority, but you are bonded too. We cannot control the fate of our feather babies but we can know they are ours. .and that we will do the best for them.... I believe your mom is a bird person and you will be too.

 

[Pied]

It sounds like you are doing a great job at not letting him become a one bird person, as you are not "the chosen one" but are working hard to remain friends. And you are able to handle him and he obviously likes you. I would keep on trucking, as it sounds like he's getting a lot of love and attention and really isn't acting out too much.

I would guess he respects you as a flockmate but sees your mother as a mate, even though your mother doesn't give in to his mate demands (which is great!)

 

[Rhoadsette]

It sounds like you are doing a great job at not letting him become a one bird person, as you are not "the chosen one" but are working hard to remain friends. And you are able to handle him and he obviously likes you. I would keep on trucking, as it sounds like he's getting a lot of love and attention and really isn't acting out too much.

I would guess he respects you as a flockmate but sees your mother as a mate, even though your mother doesn't give in to his mate demands (which is great!)

If my mother doesn't give in to his mate demands, will he stop trying to bond that way with her? I wouldn't have any issues with it if she was able to take care of him I would let her have him so he could be happy. But since she even said herself that she can't take care of him, do you think that she should spend less time with him so he doesn't become as attached? I'm really nervous that he might feather pluck or become sad or worse if I move away and he's so in love with her haha so to speak.

Also, when I move away in the future is it possible he could end up choosing me as a mate? Or is there such a thing as "birdie friend zone"?

I will always be there for him and take care of him, I'm just asking these questions because I haven't found any answers. I really want what's best for him and I want to avoid him being hurt in the long run.

 

[Rhoadsette]

Ok Sarah, that is a lot to take in. But you're concerns are great, that you care about Randy so much. It's really not what you are doing, it's what you're bird finds important. I really don't think you should think of another bird if you're mom is not 100% capable of taking care of him. You will offer a better life for him right? You know that. Yes your mom will always be priority, but you are bonded too. We cannot control the fate of our feather babies but we can know they are ours. .and that we will do the best for them.... I believe your mom is a bird person and you will be too.

I will always try to do the best for him <3 And I want to offer the best life I can for him and I don't ever want him to feel rejected or sad. I've tried my best to make sure he's happy and healthy and that he's cared for. Thanks so much.

 

[Tommymarshall]

He is still a bab

I will always try to do the best for him <3 And I want to offer the best life I can for him and I don't ever want him to feel rejected or sad. I've tried my best to make sure he's happy and healthy and that he's cared for. Thanks so much.

oh I can tell. You are doing an amazing job just for asking the right questions. Not to mention the obvious affection you have for your bird, and vica versa. That kinda looks

 

[Tommymarshall]

Like a pineapple? You should show him off??

 

[Rhoadsette]

Like a pineapple? You should show him off??

I think he's yellow sided conure I might post some pics of him he's such a sweetie

 

[karen256]

It's not uncommon for a bird to bond with someone other than the main caregiver. You mentioned your mom has a little more experience with birds, so he might be picking up on that, too.
As long as you work to maintain a friendship with him and are seen as a flock member, he should be ok. When you move out, he'll probably miss your mom for awhile, but he'll be ok, and bond more strongly to you. Sometimes, the favorite person can change when they hit maturity anyway.
For now, try to keep his interactions with you fun, give him treats, and have your mom sometimes do the less-fun things like putting him in his cage. It's really a good thing that he's socialized to different people and likes her.

 

[Chihuahua]

My sun conure is like this. I hang out with them when im on my computer and it's a losing battle getting him to stop screaming for her! If he hears her in the kitchen he flies across the house to be with her. I was sad at first but honestly if he loves her that's okay

 

[Rhoadsette]

So here's an update on his behaviour.

I got a harness for him in hopes that we would bond more about 2 weeks ago. Surprisingly, he allowed me to put the harness on him within the first week. I gave him lots of praise and treats, and I started taking him on a walk through the grass and trees in our "backyard" (if you can call it that; it's pretty much a field) he really likes going outside and he always sings and chirps and acts so happy

However he has been getting closer to my mom now. if she's anywhere near me and him he won't play with me or let me pet him and he will fly to her. he only lets me cuddle or pet him now when it's just us two. And he also refused to step up from her earlier today and bit me pretty hard. I immediately put him in his cage like the guides all say to do when the bird acts innappropriately when socialising.

He's gotten more clingy with my mom but he will still spend quality time with me when we go on walks. (just him and I) We often sing and talk back and forth to each other. He's a bit stand offish with his scratchies too. He doesn't seem to want them from me that often.

He also seems to really love music and he always sits on my computer monitor dancing to music it's quite adorable XD

Just an update on his behaviour.

 

[Beth In Alaska]

I have seen that our GCC is kind of fickle - the harder i try to interact with her, the less she likes me. The more I play hard to get, the more she falls all over herself to interact with me.
Your bird sounds a bit like my Rio. An opinionated, bratty little clown.

I also think you sound like a great bird owner and once you move out, he will be very happy with you.