Taming bonded parrotlet couple

[DaisyZwart]

Hello fellow bird owners,

In March 2020 I got two bonded parrotlets (blue, male, born 2017 and lady, female, born 2019). They are a two beautiful, sweet, little birds and I love them dearly, but it’s been 8 months and they still don’t want to be touched. I read to them, I sing to them, I have breakfast with them Etc. but even though I do feel like they love me -they stand on one leg and stretch their wing when I come into the room, they watch me intently, they close their eyes and grind their beaks when I talk to them- but when I put my hand too close or even raise it too fast they fly or jump away quickly even if I have food in it even with a long strand of millet.

I have searched about this so much on the internet but I only see people who have hand weened (which mine are most likely not) parrotlets. I see suggestions about separating them, but I’m not an experienced bird owner and I worry that it will do more harm than good especially considering the emotional bond we have built.

thank you so much for your help in advance!

 

[budgieluv3]

I separated mine just for training. We went to another room, and I would offer a perch with millet (kind of putting the millet in front of them till they eat it them going farther away each time until the millet is behind the perch). After they were on the perch, I would use the same method exept with my finger.

 

[DaisyZwart]

I will definitely try that thank you so much!!

 

[TheBirds]

@DaisyZwart - I admire your patient approach with these two, you've obviously built a solid foundation with them. I don't blame you for hoping to touch them, though ... eight months is a long time to wait!

Can any long-term parrotlet owners provide insight on how easily frightened parrotlets are? When we had Coco, she would often startle if you moved too quickly or carried something past her cage. Sounds so similar to the quick reaction your two have to movements outside their cage.

 

[DaisyZwart]

@DaisyZwart - I admire your patient approach with these two, you've obviously built a solid foundation with them. I don't blame you for hoping to touch them, though ... eight months is a long time to wait!

Can any long-term parrotlet owners provide insight on how easily frightened parrotlets are? When we had Coco, she would often startle if you moved too quickly or carried something past her cage. Sounds so similar to the quick reaction your two have to movements outside their cage.

yea I think one part is them being easily scared but I also genuinely think they don’t want to be touched by humans they just jump or fly away as soon as I try to get closer.. I don’t want to force them to do things they aren’t comfortable with but I don’t really know what to do anymore.
Thank you for giving some insight into your experiences and helping me fond a solution.

 

[Hermesbird]

Sounds like your doing a good job, every birds speed is different and it’s even harder once they are bonded. I don’t have much experience but if my parrotlet doesn’t like something she fly off away from it is she’s unsure.
Off the top of my head I know @laracroft have good experience with the parrotlets hopefully she can help and bring others as well.

 

[hrafn]

I've had my 'tiel for almost 14 years, and he still doesn't like to be touched. We're best buds and he does love spending time with me, but he hates hands with the fires of a thousand suns and I simply respect his space and keep my fingers to myself. Some birds just don't enjoy it, and never will.

That being said, eight months really isn't that long when it comes to birds. Many can take years to build up the trust necessary to allow a behemoth giant to bring a hand bigger than their entire birdy body anywhere near them, no matter how much they may enjoy said giant's company. When you look at it from their perspective, it's pretty daunting.
Continue spending time with them, associating yourself with tasty treats and good experiences. Be patient, patient, patient, and let them be the ones to take that leap of faith. If you give them time and allow them to make the first move, your bond will only strengthen and they'll trust you all that much more.

 

[DaisyZwart]

Sounds like your doing a good job, every birds speed is different and it’s even harder once they are bonded. I don’t have much experience but if my parrotlet doesn’t like something she fly off away from it is she’s unsure.
Off the top of my head I know @laracroft have good experience with the parrotlets hopefully she can help and bring others as well.

when I look at your profile picture I’m like wow I want that too. I think you’re right about them being unsure I’ll just stay patient and loving towards them.

 

[DaisyZwart]

I've had my 'tiel for almost 14 years, and he still doesn't like to be touched. We're best buds and he does love spending time with me, but he hates hands with the fires of a thousand suns and I simply respect his space and keep my fingers to myself. Some birds just don't enjoy it, and never will.

That being said, eight months really isn't that long when it comes to birds. Many can take years to build up the trust necessary to allow a behemoth giant to bring a hand bigger than their entire birdy body anywhere near them, no matter how much they may enjoy said giant's company. When you look at it from their perspective, it's pretty daunting.
Continue spending time with them, associating yourself with tasty treats and good experiences. Be patient, patient, patient, and let them be the ones to take that leap of faith. If you give them time and allow them to make the first move, your bond will only strengthen and they'll trust you all that much more.

Thank you so much. This really encouraged me I have thought about finding them a new home because I felt like I was doing something wrong, that I didn’t offer them what they needed and that they would be happier elsewhere.

 

[Hermesbird]

@DaisyZwart I got my girl as a baby so she was easier to bond with. But your baby’s are still learning to love and trust you. Just like what @hrafn said patience is key. I still let my pleet come to me when she wants to and I never force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. And it all depends on their personality

 

[DaisyZwart]

'

@DaisyZwart I got my girl as a baby so she was easier to bond with. But your baby’s are still learning to love and trust you. Just like what @hrafn said patience is key. I still let my pleet come to me when she wants to and I never force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. And it all depends on their personality

yes I’m very glad I never forced them, thank you for being so supportive!!

 

[laracroft]

@Hermesbird thanks for thinking of me! Sorry I haven't really been on this week. I've never had a bonded pair of birds, but if it were me I would at least consider separating them. Parrotlets are highly territorial, and can get into deadly fights even with cage mates they've had for awhile. I've also talked to multiple people who've had parrotlets who over preen each other, but I don't actually know if that's more common for parrotlets than other birds. On the other side of things, if they do get along well you'll have to deal with hormones, eggs, and breeding. I know some people do it successfully, but I personally would not keep two parrotlet in the same cage unless I intended to breed them. I would also say separating them doesn't have to mean they're completely apart from each other--they can have different cages in the same room and share out of cage time.

I want to make sure you know, it sounds like you are doing good. They're happy to see you! They like to spend time with you, they grind their beaks when you talk to them! I don't think you're doing anything wrong, and I don't think rehoming them would be better for them. Quite the opposite actually, it sounds like they have a good home with you. I totally get wanting to touch them, and I'd definitely keep working towards that, but it might help to remember that touch isn't the only way to show love and appreciation. My bird calls out for me when I leave. He grinds his beak when I talk to him. He goes to his bowl and eats when he sees me eating. There's all these different ways I know I'm important to him that have nothing to do with touch.

For next steps, I'd say work on desensitizing them to your hands, but I'm not entirely clear on where you're at now--will they take treats from you? Only the long stalk millet you mentioned or will they take treats that mean getting closer? The thing you want to do is get them associating your hands with things they like. You mentioned raising your hands too fast, so I'll say that moving too fast, or at the wrong angle, likely will continue to scare them--my boy is definitely tame, but if I come in from a direction he's not expecting, he's still off like a shot. It's not about me, it's just instinct. Parrotlets are prey animals, and tiny prey animals at that, so if you startle them their immediate assumption is "something's trying to eat me!". Make sure they can see you coming, and watch their body language! If they show signs of discomfort, stop. It's easier to see if you go slower.