Neglected cockatiels

[anurim]

I have a neighbor who has had birds for a long time. I have recently (about 4-5 months ago) first saw her 2 cockatiels. They are in an extremely small cage, probably never taken out before, scared of everyone and everything, on an only seed diet, with plastic perches and some kind of swings (which I believe are for flinches 'cause they are extremely small). Since then I have been feeling guilty for not doing anything. Since she is my neighbor, we have a really good relationship, she has helped my family and we have helped her. I've tried telling her some things, but she believes she knows all, even telling me some things about my own cockatiel (for which I have done a year of research and I'm still learning), like him being a girl because his face is lighter than a boys'(?????). Anyway, I've told my parents and was even ready to take them, but they told me they don't recommend asking her to give them to me (since it would be like an insult to her). I don't even know why I'm writing this, maybe I need some advice, maybe I need some consolation for not doing anything. My heart breaks every time I look at the images (I will post them from my phone after this post will go up. they are bad quality since I took them without her knowing).

 

[anurim]

I have come up with something, which may help, but I don't know what the end result will be. One of the pet shops in my country has an informative flyer that tells a bit about cockatiels and other species. I'm hoping that seeing information from someone else other than me (as I've said she thinks she knows all about everything, and I also think she believes that I'm uneducated on the subject) will soften her up and maybe do something. The only thing I'm thinking she will do is maybe buy a bigger cage, but she'll definitely not take them out and change their diet. My goal would be taking them, as I've been planning on getting another cockatiel for Finn, but even then I'm scared she would maybe buy other animals and treating them the same. Some advice would be really helpful .

 

[sunnysmom]

If you think you want them, maybe say you've been wanting to get friends for Finn and you really like her birds and would she consider letting you have them? i know it's an expense, but maybe you could also say- I have an extra toy, perch, etc and give her something? You could take a flyer but instead of just giving it to her maybe say something like, I found some really interesting information- did you know.... etc. And have it be more like a conversation like you want to discuss info with another cockatiel owner rather than trying to give her advice. I know it's hard when someone has had a bird longer than you and they think they know better than you. I knew a man that had an older 'tiel and he would tell me things about his tiel that would make me shudder. But I would try to have a conversation like- oh, well I do this with my tiel. I read this, etc.

 

[anurim]

If you think you want them, maybe say you've been wanting to get friends for Finn and you really like her birds and would she consider letting you have them? i know it's an expense, but maybe you could also say- I have an extra toy, perch, etc and give her something? You could take a flyer but instead of just giving it to her maybe say something like, I found some really interesting information- did you know.... etc. And have it be more like a conversation like you want to discuss info with another cockatiel owner rather than trying to give her advice. I know it's hard when someone has had a bird longer than you and they think they know better than you. I knew a man that had an older 'tiel and he would tell me things about his tiel that would make me shudder. But I would try to have a conversation like- oh, well I do this with my tiel. I read this, etc.

Thanks! I'll think about it and I'll probably do it in the near future.

 

[Pegggggg]

I've told my parents and was even ready to take them, but they told me they don't recommend asking her to give them to me (since it would be like an insult to her).

My goal would be taking them, as I've been planning on getting another cockatiel for Finn, but even then I'm scared she would maybe buy other animals and treating them the same.

Has your neighbor shown ANY interest in getting rid of her birds? If not, then I would suggest that the goal of 'taking them' be forgotten... I completely agree with your parents... basically you would be telling her 'since you are an unfit pet owner... you should let me have them'... which would not go over well.. when she likely believes that her level of minimal care is just fine.

I would keep trying to educate her on what is recommended for cockatiels optimal health... especially cage size.... altho WE consider our birds as family members... and recognize the benefit to both us and the birds... there are still a large number of people that consider birds simply pets to be looked at... fed/watered... and occasionally talked to... one step up from a fish... and there will always be people that disagree with what is best for the birds.... (note: did you know that PETA says that keeping any bird in a cage is 'cruel'?)

I think pushing to remove them from her care is inappropriate tho

 

[anurim]

Has your neighbor shown ANY interest in getting rid of her birds? If not, then I would suggest that the goal of 'taking them' be forgotten...

No, she hasn’t . I think that in her own way she does love these birds, since she is alone most of the time, maybe having them makes her feel not so alone...

will always be people that disagree with what is best for the birds....

Unfortunately, yes. I will try and get that flyer and maybe start a conversation with her, like sunnysmom suggested. Thank you for your response!

 

[Feather]

I ran into a similar situation with my neighbor regarding his fish. Seeing a lone giant danio in a tiny unfiltered, unheated tank broke my heart.
So... I offered to clean his fish tank, told him I had some of my own and so had all the equipment necessary and it wouldn't be a problem. He accepted.
I'm not kidding - the water I siphoned out looked like tar. I have no idea how the poor thing was even alive. He agreed to me coming over once a week to clean the tank, and I slowly worked up to adding heat and filtration, then upgrading to an appropriately sized tank, then adding more giant danios to keep the original company. My neighbor wasn't offended - in fact he's delighted and proudly tells me how many compliments visitors give him on his tank now that it's well kept.

You might try something similar? Offer to help care for the tiels. Perhaps instead of telling her what she's doing wrong, you can frame it as you wanting to gain more bird experience for yourself. If your neighbor is willing to accept, then slowly build up from there and treat it as a learning experience for both of you. Let her offer all the "advice" she wants, and hopefully she'll be more willing to listen to you in turn once that dialogue is opened in the first place.

 

[finchly]

I ran into a similar situation with my neighbor regarding his fish. Seeing a lone giant danio in a tiny unfiltered, unheated tank broke my heart.
So... I offered to clean his fish tank, told him I had some of my own and so had all the equipment necessary and it wouldn't be a problem. He accepted.
I'm not kidding - the water I siphoned out looked like tar. I have no idea how the poor thing was even alive. He agreed to me coming over once a week to clean the tank, and I slowly worked up to adding heat and filtration, then upgrading to an appropriately sized tank, then adding more giant danios to keep the original company. My neighbor wasn't offended - in fact he's delighted and proudly tells me how many compliments visitors give him on his tank now that it's well kept.

You might try something similar? Offer to help care for the tiels. Perhaps instead of telling her what she's doing wrong, you can frame it as you wanting to gain more bird experience for yourself. If your neighbor is willing to accept, then slowly build up from there and treat it as a learning experience for both of you. Let her offer all the "advice" she wants, and hopefully she'll be more willing to listen to you in turn once that dialogue is opened in the first place.

Great job, Feather!

 

[anurim]

I ran into a similar situation with my neighbor regarding his fish. Seeing a lone giant danio in a tiny unfiltered, unheated tank broke my heart.
So... I offered to clean his fish tank, told him I had some of my own and so had all the equipment necessary and it wouldn't be a problem. He accepted.
I'm not kidding - the water I siphoned out looked like tar. I have no idea how the poor thing was even alive. He agreed to me coming over once a week to clean the tank, and I slowly worked up to adding heat and filtration, then upgrading to an appropriately sized tank, then adding more giant danios to keep the original company. My neighbor wasn't offended - in fact he's delighted and proudly tells me how many compliments visitors give him on his tank now that it's well kept.

You might try something similar? Offer to help care for the tiels. Perhaps instead of telling her what she's doing wrong, you can frame it as you wanting to gain more bird experience for yourself. If your neighbor is willing to accept, then slowly build up from there and treat it as a learning experience for both of you. Let her offer all the "advice" she wants, and hopefully she'll be more willing to listen to you in turn once that dialogue is opened in the first place.

Thank you for saving that fish! And thank you for your advice! <3

 

[Cockatielier]

That story breaks my heart.

Maybe you could tell her how much you love those birds, and if she ever decides to give them up, you'd LOVE to have them.

So sad to think about birds living in that condition for 20-30 years.

Maybe, too, you could visit with the birds, take them out of their cages, put them on your shoulder, just for fun, if she'd let you.

 

[Maggiebird]

I may sound rude but I can be super passionate and caring for parrots if someone tells me they are not smart creatures I’m the first to tell them that they are wrong and with a long list of reasons but for this situation I feel that she needs to know the facts even if she “thinks” she knows what she is doing. I use to be like this person I thought I knew what I was doing I fed my birds a horrible diet ,one of them lived in a carrier ,and they had all dowel perches and not good toys what got me to realize I didn’t learn enough and got me so passionate like I am now about parrots was What someone said in a YouTube video, “ If you can’t afford a big cage, perches, good toys, the vet, etc then you shouldn’t have any parrots or any other pets” It made me mad and this got me realizing that I was a horrible owner now my birds are eating pellets, chop, veggies + fruits and more daily. People hate hearing the truth even if it’s bad . My advice is to tell her because like I said people hate hearing the truth about themselves.I won’t get mad if you don’t agree with this its just my opinion! Hope this helps!

 

[Sparkles99]

I'm glad you saved that fish, Feather! You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar - worth remembering.

If they do eventually offer to give them to you, tactfully give them some money in return, to make them legally yours.