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Is this normal for cockatiels? (first timer here...)

Should a cockatiel ''forcefully'' be taught to step up, even if they show signs of anxiety?

  • Yes, whatever it takes!

  • Yes if they don't try to bite

  • No, if they try to bite.

  • No, they should not be forced at all to anything!


Results are only viewable after voting.

Linnebug

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This is a long post, to see direct questions, go to the TLDR section in the end.
I also apologize in case of typos and misspelled words, I'm european. :ashamed1:

April 20th, a bit over a month ago, I got my first birds ever.
Two male cockatiels, :tieln:Topi (10yr old) and :tiel4:Masa (not sure, my guess is 3yrs, since he's a bit more active, has softer feathers and doesn't enjoy baths as much).

The woman who sold them to me informed me that the reason she is giving the birds up is that they are not hand-tame.

Originally, she only had Topi and a girlfriend of his. She had them for 8 years and were really friendly and tame, until one morning the female had passed away.
Ever since then, Topi had become ''bitter'' towards humans and hands. Not once has he ever stepped up after that.
The lady decided to buy him a new female friend, however, she soon came to suspect that the female was in fact male, Masa.
(Both Topi and Masa were purchased from a pet store, however only Masa has a blue ring with an ID-chip on his leg.)
Topi remained bitter towards the lady, and the lady decided to sell them to me.

To me it seems that Topi certainly isn't afraid of humans, as he isn't frightened when hands come near him (i.e when placing their food cups back in their cage, sometimes the birds are near the ''food cup-holder'' and my hand has to go near them to get the food cups back in their place.)
However, he does not like it at all when hands come near him on purpose, like when trying to get him to step up or eat seeds for the palm of my hand or so.

However Masa seems to be afraid.
In a similar situation, when Topi would not be afraid of hands going near by, Masa is very cautious.
He is very easy to get intimidated when a hand comes near, resulting him in opening his mouth, huffing and puffing.
This is odd, for I've made sure to not give them any bad experiences for what comes to my hands.
I've made sure that if they show signs of feeling threatened, I will ether pull my hand away or if my hand is near them to do something i have to do (i.e. remove something from the cage) then I'll move really slowly and talk to them quietly.
I've made sure not to force them in to anything. I am yet to even be bitten for the first time.

Though some youtubers that have cockatiels encourage you to put on gloves and try to get them to step up, even if they tried to bit you, I feel this is not something that seems like a reasonable thing to do?
What are your opinions on this, should one try and force them to step up? :scared2:
It just sounds so rude, i don't know...

Everyday in the morning i leave their cage door open, for it's okay with me whether they are in the cage or outside of it. I want to offer them as much possibilities to explore and fly around.
Everyday i try to spend at least an hour near the cage, talking to them or being on my phone. Sometimes I give them music to listen to, there hasn't been a song they would've reacted in any way to yet.
I also daily try to place my hand near them, as close as they'll let me until they begin to show signs of dislike, then i hold my hand still until they seem calm and collect, then remove the hand.
I read somewhere that this could be done in order to get them used to hands.

When I'm not near the cage, I'm 2 meters away on the couch. From there I try to talk to them when they seem social in any way.


Although I talk to them quite a lot, spend most of my day in the same room (living room) with them, try to offer them food almost daily from my hand, give them the possibility to come and go as they like, I see very little progress towards taming.
At best, they leave their cage every other day, however the visits are short at longest for an hour, and they only hang around on top of their cage.
They are very picky towards new foods, though I've heard that's normal, zucchinis seems to be a favorite for Topi. :swoon:

The only actual change I've noticed within the past month is that Masa has become fairly talkative, as he chatters a quite a lot. He daily also makes sounds which, to me, sound like mimicking my laughter.
I like to see this as progress :birdance:
They are now more active as well than during the first week they got here.
I've also noticed in the past couple weeks that at times Masa comes next to Topi and offer his for head to him, often Topi would preen it.

I don't know, I just feel like I must be doing something wrong here.


TLDR; I have a fair bunch of questions.:unsure:
-Is the preening normal for two male cockatiels? (I've heard that only couples do it, so perhaps masa is a female after all, even though he's a good singer)
-Why are they still so very shy towards hands? (I've tried to make sure that our household is serene, with no sudden movements or sudden loud noises, no aggressive behaviour etc, as you'd do with a baby.)
-How come they spend such majority of the time in their cage, is it normal?
-Is it normal for them to not explore the home? (I've bird-proofed pretty much everything. However, they've only flied around the home a couple of times to see the place, but they never land anywhere for longer than couple of seconds. They have never been to the tables that are right next to their cage...)
-Is the bitterness Topi has expressed ever since his girlfriend died something that is to be considered normal? (as in, should i try and get them female company? Or would he likely be aggressive towards them? I've never heard of a cockatiel behaving like this after a friend passing away..)
-The back of Masa's head is bald? It has been ever since the first time I went to see them. (neither of the boys pluck themselves or each other, so could this be something he was born with? There hasn't been even a single stub of hair or feather in the past month.)

Sorry for making such a long post. Worried first time bird-owner and all that... :ashamed2:
 

nu2birds

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I'm just going to comment on a couple of your issues..........I have two male Lovebirds and they are very bonded and they preen and feed each other all day long. I think that is pretty normal if you have two males that actually like each other. I can pretty much say..........across the board that our birds never need to be forced or sped along on the bonding and trust pathway. It takes months and even years in some situations for birds to start to trust and want to be out of their cage and with their owner. So just let them explore at their own pace. it's great that you've "bird proofed" your home, now just let them get used to you being around them and don't try and rush the handling part. You will do fine, just relax and enjoy learning their personalities and watch them interact and play. Millet is your friend...........they can be enticed to do almost anything with Millet. Let your birds tell you when they are ready for the next step.
 

Linnebug

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Dear god, I am so glad forcing them to step up is frowned upon!
Way too much do i see youtube recommend videos to me titled ''tame your cockatiel in 3 days'' and such, and always they more or less encourage putting pressure on the bird.
It just seemed so illogical.

I had a couple of millet sticks just a while ago, they certainly were popular among the boys :swoon:

But thank you, it's so relieving to hear all that!
 

Garet

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-Is the preening normal for two male cockatiels?

Yes, you have a male/male bonded pair. Same-sex pairs will do everything opposite-sex pairs do, bar producing young.​

-Why are they still so very shy towards hands?(I've tried to make sure that our household is serene, with no sudden movements or sudden loud noises, no aggressive behaviour etc, as you'd do with a baby.)

Some birds are naturally shy, especially if they've had minimal human experience.​

-How come they spend such majority of the time in their cage, is it normal?
-Is it normal for them to not explore the home? (I've bird-proofed pretty much everything. However, they've only flied around the home a couple of times to see the place, but they never land anywhere for longer than couple of seconds. They have never been to the tables that are right next to their cage...)

Yes. Mims has days where she doesn't want to come out. I'll leave the cage open and allow her to do as she pleases. Today, she's decided to join us.​

-Is the bitterness Topi has expressed ever since his girlfriend died something that is to be considered normal? (as in, should i try and get them female company? Or would he likely be aggressive towards them? I've never heard of a cockatiel behaving like this after a friend passing away..)

No. It sounds more like he was treated poorly. If they are bonded, I would not get them a female/females. I have two bonded pairs; one same sex, one different species. The two female lovebirds I have are not involved with any of my males. You might wind up with fighting if you try.​

-The back of Masa's head is bald? It has been ever since the first time I went to see them.(neither of the boys pluck themselves or each other, so could this be something he was born with? There hasn't been even a single stub of hair or feather in the past month.)

Some color mutations have a bald head due to inbreeding. Cinnamon is one of them.​
 

Linnebug

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Thank you for the reply!

I am not quite sure how much human experience they've have on a daily basis before I adopted them, but the household they were in was quite shabby if I may say so.
The room they we're kept in was really small and not a general space, it was like a closet. The apartment it self wasn't really large enough for flying and had lots of collectibles on the shelves, delicate things I doubt the owner wanted getting touched.
Thus I doubt they had too much human contact or even time to fly, which had me worrying before adopting them and was one of the reasons I decided to do so.
I just had to get them out of there.

Masa seems to be the common grey body, yellow-face, red cheeks type of cockatiel, however his belly is a bit cinnamony and noticeably lighter than Topi altogether, so I guess he may have some cinnamon in him. :laughing2:
 

finchly

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Hi there,
I have 2 females .... not bonded I think. They tolerate each other.
Just my opinion....
I would not get 2 females, unless you just want more birds. These 2 are bonded to each other so there is no guarantee they'd be interested in females. Plus, you will then have egg and baby worries. Just enjoy what you have!

My 2 tiels were not exactly rehomes, but I gave them away and took them back. You can read about that here and in the article it links to the first post about them. They are just now landing
on me consistently and coming out of the bird room consistently. We've had them back 16 months I think. I could be a little off on the dates.

Spirit does "big wings" every time one of us leaves the bird room now, I don't know how that happened but she does. It's hilarious, and fun. And gets her lots of praise. :)

The 'bitterness' you see is not bitterness at this point, it is something else. Keep doing the positive things you are doing, without expectations just joy. Be joyful when the respond at all to what you want.
 

Garet

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Thank you for the reply!

I am not quite sure how much human experience they've have on a daily basis before I adopted them, but the household they were in was quite shabby if I may say so.
The room they we're kept in was really small and not a general space, it was like a closet. The apartment it self wasn't really large enough for flying and had lots of collectibles on the shelves, delicate things I doubt the owner wanted getting touched.
Thus I doubt they had too much human contact or even time to fly, which had me worrying before adopting them and was one of the reasons I decided to do so.
I just had to get them out of there.

Masa seems to be the common grey body, yellow-face, red cheeks type of cockatiel, however his belly is a bit cinnamony and noticeably lighter than Topi altogether, so I guess he may have some cinnamon in him. :laughing2:
There are other mutations that can produce bald spots as well, it's just far more common in cinnamons. It shouldn't negatively effect his health, afaik.

It can take quite some time for birds in that sort of situation to warm up to human contact. Just be gentle and slow with them. Take things at their pace, don't force contact unless absolutely necessary (IE: emergency, danger to the bird, or administering of medications).

Tiels are very emotionally sensitive birds. Just give them time and don't take it personally if they don't immediately warm up to you. As long as you're calm and nice and treat them with respect, it's not you they're afraid of.
 

Linnebug

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Hi there,
I have 2 females .... not bonded I think. They tolerate each other.
Just my opinion....
I would not get 2 females, unless you just want more birds. These 2 are bonded to each other so there is no guarantee they'd be interested in females. Plus, you will then have egg and baby worries. Just enjoy what you have!

My 2 tiels were not exactly rehomes, but I gave them away and took them back. You can read about that here and in the article it links to the first post about them. They are just now landing
on me consistently and coming out of the bird room consistently. We've had them back 16 months I think. I could be a little off on the dates.

Spirit does "big wings" every time one of us leaves the bird room now, I don't know how that happened but she does. It's hilarious, and fun. And gets her lots of praise. :)

The 'bitterness' you see is not bitterness at this point, it is something else. Keep doing the positive things you are doing, without expectations just joy. Be joyful when the respond at all to what you want.
I may get females at some point, I'm actually interested in becoming a breeder some day, as Finland is desperately in need of local breeders.
But that is a dream for some day in the far future. I am nearly not ready for all that. :laughing2:

Topi actually after 2 weeks one day out of nowhere just began screaming and flew on my head while I was eating cereal. :laughing2: The visit was only for a brief second but truly warmed my heart.
I honestly thought at first he was coming after my cereal, haha. Unfortunately hasn't done that anymore.

There are other mutations that can produce bald spots as well, it's just far more common in cinnamons. It shouldn't negatively effect his health, afaik.

It can take quite some time for birds in that sort of situation to warm up to human contact. Just be gentle and slow with them. Take things at their pace, don't force contact unless absolutely necessary (IE: emergency, danger to the bird, or administering of medications).

Tiels are very emotionally sensitive birds. Just give them time and don't take it personally if they don't immediately warm up to you. As long as you're calm and nice and treat them with respect, it's not you they're afraid of.
The only times so far I've forced contact with them is when they'd rather stay outside of their cage, and I need to leave the house or I'll miss a doctor's appointment, this has happened a couple of times but, though they definitely didn't enjoy it, they didn't make a sound that would indicate anxiety or aggression.

So in general, one should treat their birds like a roomie, it seems. Unless your roomie really digs you, they won't let you carry them around :laughing2: haha
 

Garet

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I may get females at some point, I'm actually interested in becoming a breeder some day, as Finland is desperately in need of local breeders.
But that is a dream for some day in the far future. I am nearly not ready for all that. :laughing2:

Topi actually after 2 weeks one day out of nowhere just began screaming and flew on my head while I was eating cereal. :laughing2: The visit was only for a brief second but truly warmed my heart.
I honestly thought at first he was coming after my cereal, haha. Unfortunately hasn't done that anymore.

The only times so far I've forced contact with them is when they'd rather stay outside of their cage, and I need to leave the house or I'll miss a doctor's appointment, this has happened a couple of times but, though they definitely didn't enjoy it, they didn't make a sound that would indicate anxiety or aggression.

So in general, one should treat their birds like a roomie, it seems. Unless your roomie really digs you, they won't let you carry them around :laughing2: haha
Depending on the type of cereal, he may have been coming for it and you may be able to share! It's good that he flew to you while you were eating. My flock only started begging for foot when they started to trust me.

I give my birds whole grain cheerios from time to time. Mims also begs for pasta and rice, so I set some aside for her while I'm cooking. Uncluttered and unsalted popcorn is also just fine for them. There are lots of Birdy breads you can make, too. Gotta reel 'em in by showering them with love and treats.

I'd consider your motivations for catching them in that sort of situation justifiable, tbh. They could have gotten hurt while you weren't there to supervise.

I wish you luck with breeding, though! Birds are like toddlers; you might find fond two that get along, but you might also get a bully who likes sticking gum in her brother's hair and smashing his sandcastles.
 

finchly

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I have tiny bowls that I put beside my bowl. If they want food I spoon some in it for them. :)
 

Linnebug

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Depending on the type of cereal, he may have been coming for it and you may be able to share! It's good that he flew to you while you were eating. My flock only started begging for foot when they started to trust me.

I give my birds whole grain cheerios from time to time. Mims also begs for pasta and rice, so I set some aside for her while I'm cooking. Uncluttered and unsalted popcorn is also just fine for them. There are lots of Birdy breads you can make, too. Gotta reel 'em in by showering them with love and treats.

I'd consider your motivations for catching them in that sort of situation justifiable, tbh. They could have gotten hurt while you weren't there to supervise.

I wish you luck with breeding, though! Birds are like toddlers; you might find fond two that get along, but you might also get a bully who likes sticking gum in her brother's hair and smashing his sandcastles.
Oh dear! Although, I've heard of cases where the father may be the bully.. :sad1:

They were 'multi-grain' though I doubt they would've been good for them, as they were quite sugary.
Also, I had poured milk on them, so I figured I shouldn't offer any. That's actually thing I've been wondering, if cockatiels are absolute lactose-intolerants or if they can handle very small traces of lactose or milk?
I've tried giving them some pasta as well, and just recently unflavored low-salt rice cakes too, but they don't seem to show interest in them.

Speaking of self-made treats, I've heard you can make birds treats yourself by using honey as the adhesive ingredient in the recipes.
However, I keep seeing people go back and forth whether it is good, bad or even toxic to birds. Some say it's fine, some that it's good if you boil it, and some believe that it's fatal (not immediately, but with time).
Do you know about this? :chin:

I have tiny bowls that I put beside my bowl. If they want food I spoon some in it for them. :)
Ohh, I ought to get some of those smaller ones c:
I currently just have the larger removable ones. It'd be easier to have smaller ones too, since my boys tend to chill on the larger bowls, often pooping in their own food :laughing2:
 

Garet

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Oh dear! Although, I've heard of cases where the father may be the bully.. :sad1:

They were 'multi-grain' though I doubt they would've been good for them, as they were quite sugary.
Also, I had poured milk on them, so I figured I shouldn't offer any. That's actually thing I've been wondering, if cockatiels are absolute lactose-intolerants or if they can handle very small traces of lactose or milk?
I've tried giving them some pasta as well, and just recently unflavored low-salt rice cakes too, but they don't seem to show interest in them.

Speaking of self-made treats, I've heard you can make birds treats yourself by using honey as the adhesive ingredient in the recipes.
However, I keep seeing people go back and forth whether it is good, bad or even toxic to birds. Some say it's fine, some that it's good if you boil it, and some believe that it's fatal (not immediately, but with time).
Do you know about this? :chin:
They are a little sugary, but the key is sharing with your birds in moderation. My flock gets one each every now and then.
In my experience, as long as it's not absolutely soaked in milk, they should be okay.

As for honey, it all depends on the type of honey and how much of it you use. It's pure sugar. I prefer to use all-natural unsweetened peanut butter myself. If you want a recipe, I'm down for sharing mine.
 

Linnebug

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They are a little sugary, but the key is sharing with your birds in moderation. My flock gets one each every now and then.
In my experience, as long as it's not absolutely soaked in milk, they should be okay.

As for honey, it all depends on the type of honey and how much of it you use. It's pure sugar. I prefer to use all-natural unsweetened peanut butter myself. If you want a recipe, I'm down for sharing mine.
Ohh, please do share! :cool3: I've been reading about peanut butter treats as well, but was again contemplating if it's too sugary.
 

Garet

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What I use is 1/2 a banana- mashed, I egg (2 if using the whole babana), crushed egg shell, 1 packet of oatmeal, a good 1/3rd cup of peanut butter, 1/3rd cup of flour, 1 spoon of seed, and finely chop whatever fruits and veg I have on hand. Mix it all together and pop it in the oven at 375 for about 15 minutes. I like to pop it on parchment paper so I don't have to spray the pan.

Once my giant cookie is done, i cut it into slices and serve.
 

Linnebug

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Oh, that sound good! One could possibly also put a string through it and hang it in the cage. :swoon:

Thank you!
 

Garet

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Oh, that sound good! One could possibly also put a string through it and hang it in the cage. :swoon:

Thank you!
It's nothing at all. :hilarious: My mom got so jealous that I had to modify the recipe for humans. My dogs went crazy for it, too. You can also add chili flakes into the birdie version. My birds enjoyed it with or without chili.
 
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