I need help getting my lovebird to trust me

[HAKUTA]

Hi! I'm new to this site and I didn't know where to post this, so I copied this and posted on 3 different threads. Im sorry If I'm not supposed to do that..

So as the title says, I got my lovebird 2 days ago. This is the first time I'm ever caring for a bird, I love my Kivi so much. I managed to get her to step up on its perch with millet spray.
She also ate millet spray from my hand directly, while it was so close to my fingers, although sometimes she tries to bite my fingers instead of eating it.
I also been trying to make her jump on its perch first and then give her millet, sometimes works sometimes it doesnt. She isn't afraid of my hand at all, I can put it inside her cage and she wont go crazy. She wont get close to it either though. as im writing this, Im sitting right next to her cage, very close, with classical music on, she's sleeping. She also had her first bath today, and also I managed to put her down on the floor eating millet while im sitting next to her.
SO the thing is, I want her to be more close to me, step up on my finger and possibly be able to place her on my shoulder.
Is there any tips you guys can give me? What should I do, how can she warm up to me more?
I sit next to her cage and read her book often, and let her out of her cage at least once a day for around 10-15 minutes. Sometimes she freaks out and flies away from me.
She's also a biter, when she bites my finger it hurts a lot, though it didnt bleed once.
oh and, not to mention that she goes crazy and screams for hours and hours if I leave room to do stuff, or in general, stay away from her cage.
Is there anything I can do?
Thank you!

 

[Zara]

Welcome to the Avenue!

I want her to be more close to me, step up on my finger and possibly be able to place her on my shoulder.
Is there any tips you guys can give me?

For 2 days, you are doing well
Maybe this video can help;
Remember, it could take you a while between each step, but your bird must be comfortable between each part - whether that takes a day, a week or even a month.

she goes crazy and screams for hours and hours if I leave room to do stuff, or in general, stay away from her cage.
Is there anything I can do?

Introduce toys, and teach her how to play. Again, be patient, it could take time. Once she learns how to play she will be able to entertain herself while you are away, but will likely call for you anyway randomly while you are not there.

 

[HAKUTA]

Welcome to the Avenue!


For 2 days, you are doing well
Maybe this video can help;
Remember, it could take you a while between each step, but your bird must be comfortable between each part - whether that takes a day, a week or even a month.

Introduce toys, and teach her how to play. Again, be patient, it could take time. Once she learns how to play she will be able to entertain herself while you are away, but will likely call for you anyway randomly while you are not there.

Thank you so much!! I trained with her a little bit more today. I put the millet on my shirt and she stepped on my shirt, sitting on top of me while eating her millet. Though, how many times i tried, I still could absolutely not get her to stand on my finger.. she bites and bites and bites, even though she just stepped on top of me. Thats weird.

 

[Kiwi & Co.]

Thank you so much!! I trained with her a little bit more today. I put the millet on my shirt and she stepped on my shirt, sitting on top of me while eating her millet. Though, how many times i tried, I still could absolutely not get her to stand on my finger.. she bites and bites and bites, even though she just stepped on top of me. Thats weird.

Did she get grabbed at the store you got her from? She might only remember fingers as bad after that. If she goes to bite you, just back up so that she knows that you respect her space.

 

[Zara]

Lovebirds do not like to be rushed, or pushed into situations they do not want to be in. They like to be in control. This is where the patience comes in.
The video I posted is only 3 minutes long, and took all of 5 minutes to film, but that is a bird that is happy on my hand. With a bird that doesn´t fully trust you yet, it will take time. This could be days or months.
I can use this method for my lovebird hen who is not ¨tame¨, though it took me a looooong time. Like a year I think. Even at that, I am always anticipating that bite, ready to pull back.
For 2 days, your bird sitting on your shirt is fantastic! You are still a stranger, she just had her home and siblings/flockmates taken from her. It´s a confusing time. If she wants to sit on your shirt and eat millet, cool! Accept that, and don´t push too much.
Patience really is key
If this is a young bird (less than 6 months) you should make progress quicker than if the bird was an adult.

ps, I´d love to see your bird if you have a picture

 

[HAKUTA]

Did she get grabbed at the store you got her from? She might only remember fingers as bad after that. If she goes to bite you, just back up so that she knows that you respect her space.

unfortunately yes they did grab her, she was scared. probably why she is scared of standing on my hand. I'll be patient!

 

[HAKUTA]

Lovebirds do not like to be rushed, or pushed into situations they do not want to be in. They like to be in control. This is where the patience comes in.
The video I posted is only 3 minutes long, and took all of 5 minutes to film, but that is a bird that is happy on my hand. With a bird that doesn´t fully trust you yet, it will take time. This could be days or months.
I can use this method for my lovebird hen who is not ¨tame¨, though it took me a looooong time. Like a year I think. Even at that, I am always anticipating that bite, ready to pull back.
For 2 days, your bird sitting on your shirt is fantastic! You are still a stranger, she just had her home and siblings/flockmates taken from her. It´s a confusing time. If she wants to sit on your shirt and eat millet, cool! Accept that, and don´t push too much.
Patience really is key
If this is a young bird (less than 6 months) you should make progress quicker than if the bird was an adult.

ps, I´d love to see your bird if you have a picture

Thank you! next time im training with her, I'll make sure to take a picture ^^ I dont know her age, or, to be honest, her gender but i went with ''her'' anyway. I forgot to ask, but I'll visit the pet shop soon so I'll ask them. They told me she was still young so I trust their word. Im very happy about her standing on my shirt, I'll try very slowly and patiently until she's comfortable with my hand. Thank you

 

[Kiwi & Co.]

Thank you! next time im training with her, I'll make sure to take a picture ^^ I dont know her age, or, to be honest, her gender but i went with ''her'' anyway. I forgot to ask, but I'll visit the pet shop soon so I'll ask them. They told me she was still young so I trust their word. Im very happy about her standing on my shirt, I'll try very slowly and patiently until she's comfortable with my hand. Thank you

I don’t think the store will know her gender, with lovebirds you don’t know unless they a)lay an egg b)are dna tested c)have a sex linked mutation and you know who the parents are

 

[HAKUTA]

I don’t think the store will know her gender, with lovebirds you don’t know unless they a)lay an egg b)are dna tested c)have a sex linked mutation and you know who the parents are

owner said that he bred the bird himself, and had her parents on top of her cage, in another cage. I read that lovebirds are hard to identify, so I hope by any chance the owner knows her gender. I'm from Turkey and we dont adress people or stuff with ''him/her'' if we were speaking english maybe id get a clue when they adress the birbs lolol.

 

[HAKUTA]

Lovebirds do not like to be rushed, or pushed into situations they do not want to be in. They like to be in control. This is where the patience comes in.
The video I posted is only 3 minutes long, and took all of 5 minutes to film, but that is a bird that is happy on my hand. With a bird that doesn´t fully trust you yet, it will take time. This could be days or months.
I can use this method for my lovebird hen who is not ¨tame¨, though it took me a looooong time. Like a year I think. Even at that, I am always anticipating that bite, ready to pull back.
For 2 days, your bird sitting on your shirt is fantastic! You are still a stranger, she just had her home and siblings/flockmates taken from her. It´s a confusing time. If she wants to sit on your shirt and eat millet, cool! Accept that, and don´t push too much.
Patience really is key
If this is a young bird (less than 6 months) you should make progress quicker than if the bird was an adult.

ps, I´d love to see your bird if you have a picture

Here are some pics of kivi. Unfortunately, when i took her out for the last time today, she refused to get back in her cage. She never did that before. She literally resisted it, didnt step on her perch even with treats that she enjoy. I ended up having to pick her up with clothes because its late at night and im going to sleep. I hope that didnt damage her trust as she escaped a few times..

 

[cea]

L-birds need a consistent training method and schedule. I am a well trained and expert on various parrot species, and L-birds are some of the most tricky to train-they are very bright and will manipulate you if you let them.
I would say that she needs to depend on you for help, food, comfort and companionship.
1. This means that you do not want to use anything except YOU to access her. Hands, or a leaned over shoulder etc.
2. Wings should be clipped but enough to flutter down, not crash or be able to fly up.
3. Another thing to remember is that Lovebirds bond for life and this happens with humans much slower than what they instinctively recognize in the wild.
4. She will need to be held and played with at least 2 times a day (spread out) for between 5-10 minutes. You want her to want to be with you and not control that desire and when it takes place. This needs to go on for a min of 6 months if she is very young and longer is an older bird.
5. They love millet but should be weaned off of it as soon as possible to a very good ballet diet.
And many many more options and steps.

With technology so accessible, you may want to chat live on ZOOM, Google Duo, FaceTime, WhatsApp etc. to people so that you can see live and active training. Seeing is doing and with birds, nothing is as simple as reading what to do, especially with the smart, inquisitive and confident lovebird!
Let me know! Glad to help!

 

[Zara]

2. Wings should be clipped

Absolutely not necessary.

 

[Karen]

L-birds need a consistent training method and schedule. I am a well trained and expert on various parrot species, and L-birds are some of the most tricky to train-they are very bright and will manipulate you if you let them.
I would say that she needs to depend on you for help, food, comfort and companionship.
1. This means that you do not want to use anything except YOU to access her. Hands, or a leaned over shoulder etc.
2. Wings should be clipped but enough to flutter down, not crash or be able to fly up.
3. Another thing to remember is that Lovebirds bond for life and this happens with humans much slower than what they instinctively recognize in the wild.
4. She will need to be held and played with at least 2 times a day (spread out) for between 5-10 minutes. You want her to want to be with you and not control that desire and when it takes place. This needs to go on for a min of 6 months if she is very young and longer is an older bird.
5. They love millet but should be weaned off of it as soon as possible to a very good ballet diet.
And many many more options and steps.

This sounds like a whole lot of learned helplessness. IMO opinion you'll have a much happier bird with positive training methods that empower the bird.

 

[Bookwyrm]

I don't have any experience with lovebirds, but I might be able to help.
Could you send a picture of her cage? Having a good cage setup is a very important part of owning a parrot.
And when it comes to training, I think you're doing a great job! Seeing as she's afraid of hands, I wouldn't work on stepping up just yet. (Maybe offer a closed fist, though, as see if she accepts that). Try target training, or even a few other tricks like spinning.
Work with her several times a day for 5-10 minutes, along with maybe half an hour of out of cage time, allowing her to just fly around and play a little on the top of her cage, maybe with a little target training.
And with the screaming, make sure not to go back into the room. Find a schedule, and stick to that schedule. If she begins to associate her screaming with you coming back, that can become attention screaming.
Good luck!

 

[Leih]

It took about 3 months for my lovebird to step up, she was completely terrified of me, and another 3 for her to want to just hang out on my hand. Patience will pay off!