Forming that Bond

[CagedStardust]

Hi! It's been a while since I've posted here!

Since I've posted (it's been two years!!) , I've had to cope with many losses, including my tiel, as I made the crucial mistake of leaving the birdcage out unsupervised, leading to the cage being toppled by a cat

And now, I thought it was time to adopt a new baby! I adopted her from someone and she's used to being with people, so I have her with me on my shoulder all day. It's been almost a week since she's got here, and I wanted to ask for a few tips regarding some things. I'm 100% determined to make her happy and safe, especially having done my previous mistakes

First - well I know it's only been five days, and she flies to me whenever I go to another room, but I only think it's because she tolerates me and isn't really familiar with anyone else, so doesn't have a lot of options. Are there any tips to help strengthen our bond?

She's also a very cautious bird, very jumpy, and is afraid of toys. She'd nip at my finger before I can get her to step up or at my ear when I turn my head, hisses at my hand when it gets close, even hisses when I cover her cage for sleep time. She's also been cranky after eating at night recently, I can't get my finger near her to step up - during this time, I just put her back in her cage so she can cool down and rest. Can this be mended only with time, or are there ways I can help her feel more comfortable and less anxious?

She also hesitates a lot when she wants to fly, step down from somewhere, or go down her cage to eat/drink - sometimes it's like she doesn't know how.

She rarely tweets, and only does if she sees me leave the room. I don't want her to see me as a "body guard" or a safety tool, but rather her friend.

One thing she's very curious about is food, especially when I'm eating. She even flew to a mcdonald's paperbag one time to have a taste of those fries, but I told her she couldn't have any!

I'm hoping to do things right this time, and I really love her! There are times when I'm able to pet her for long and give her small kisses on the head. I don't want her to be afraid of my hands or fingers that she has to be wary of them every time they're near.

Sorry for the long post!! I'd appreciate any experiences you've had that i can learn from!

(p.s. is there a way to introduce our dog to her. Our dog is always downstairs while she's always upstairs( I think she's still afraid of downstairs as it's a bit bigger and I haven't really brought her around the house yet, and wouldn't until she's settled in) and I don't want either of them to harm or be afraid of each other)

 

[Daniell]

That actually sounds like my tiel.

She hates my hands but I put them near her to show that they aren't evil, tried to give her a few scritches before which didn't work, she only just let me.
She's probably still gonna nip at them.
She used to bite a lot but now not as much as before.

She used to hiss at the towel too when I covered her at night but now just gives a soft "goodnight" squeak.

With flying also, before she'd shake her wings to show that she wanted to fly but was too anxious, I started taking her on my arm and letting her hop onto the chair, table, etc.
Not too far but far enough that she'd have to use her wings a bit.
She isn't shy about flying all over the place now, lol

And I've only had her for a month now or something.
So I think you just need to give your tiel some time, it can take a week or sometimes even months for birds to get comfortable in their new home!

And with the dog, I heard that dog saliva is poisonous to birds.
And besides, even the most well trained dogs can suddenly just attack your bird.

I hope that this was helpful! Good luck with your feathered friend!

 

[Feather]

First - well I know it's only been five days, and she flies to me whenever I go to another room, but I only think it's because she tolerates me and isn't really familiar with anyone else, so doesn't have a lot of options. Are there any tips to help strengthen our bond?

A bird who is only tolerating you wouldn't fly to you. That's a pretty big trust right there, especially so early on. Start using a phrase ([name], come!) to call her to you every time she's flying towards you and you may be able to very easily recall train her that way!

She's also a very cautious bird, very jumpy, and is afraid of toys. She'd nip at my finger before I can get her to step up or at my ear when I turn my head, hisses at my hand when it gets close,

She's only been with you for five days. Give her time to adjust to her new surroundings and people and she'll become more stable. By staying on your shoulder and flying after you, she's already showing she wants to be with you. Try starting from the beginning with stepping up. Get a treat she likes (millet spray is usually a big one for cockatiels) and train her to step-up consistently on command.

even hisses when I cover her cage for sleep time.

I would skip covering her cage, honestly. I haven't covered any of my cages for years and can absolutely understand how a big sheet descending on the cage might be frightening. I prefer just turning out the lights in the room the bird is kept. You can use a night light - I don't, but I've read a few times that it's best to use one that casts red light.

She's also been cranky after eating at night recently, I can't get my finger near her to step up - during this time, I just put her back in her cage so she can cool down and rest. Can this be mended only with time, or are there ways I can help her feel more comfortable and less anxious?

It's normal for a bird to be cranky at bedtime. My birds will have their dinner and then go to roost. If I bother them during this time, they're not gonna be happy about it. I would just make sure she's eating in her cage instead of out of it so you don't have to interrupt her roosting to put her back into cage.

She also hesitates a lot when she wants to fly, step down from somewhere, or go down her cage to eat/drink - sometimes it's like she doesn't know how.

Again, she's in a new environment and needs time to adjust and become confident. If she's a baby, she may still be learning how to get around and use her wings. If she's an adult, it's possible she was clipped sometime in her life and doesn't fully trust them to get her where she needs to be even if she knows how to fly. My cockatiel spent an unknown portion of his life clipped and confined to a very small cage. He's been with me for over seven years now, and is still very hesitant about takeoffs and clumsy with the landings.

She rarely tweets, and only does if she sees me leave the room. I don't want her to see me as a "body guard" or a safety tool, but rather her friend.

Female tiels don't tend to be especially chatty. She's calling after you when you leave because you're her flock.

One thing she's very curious about is food, especially when I'm eating. She even flew to a mcdonald's paperbag one time to have a taste of those fries, but I told her she couldn't have any!

Again, she's already seeing you as her flock. Birds eat as a community, so when she sees you eating she wants some too! If she can't have what you're having, you can give her something she can have. This is also a great way to get birds to try new veggies if they see you eating them first.

I'm hoping to do things right this time, and I really love her!

You're gonna do fine. Never stop learning.

(p.s. is there a way to introduce our dog to her. Our dog is always downstairs while she's always upstairs( I think she's still afraid of downstairs as it's a bit bigger and I haven't really brought her around the house yet, and wouldn't until she's settled in) and I don't want either of them to harm or be afraid of each other)

Echoing what @Daniell said. It's really best to keep your dog away from your bird at all times.

 

[CagedStardust]

That actually sounds like my tiel.

She hates my hands but I put them near her to show that they aren't evil, tried to give her a few scritches before which didn't work, she only just let me.
She's probably still gonna nip at them.
She used to bite a lot but now not as much as before.

She used to hiss at the towel too when I covered her at night but now just gives a soft "goodnight" squeak.

With flying also, before she'd shake her wings to show that she wanted to fly but was too anxious, I started taking her on my arm and letting her hop onto the chair, table, etc.
Not too far but far enough that she'd have to use her wings a bit.
She isn't shy about flying all over the place now, lol

And I've only had her for a month now or something.
So I think you just need to give your tiel some time, it can take a week or sometimes even months for birds to get comfortable in their new home!

And with the dog, I heard that dog saliva is poisonous to birds.
And besides, even the most well trained dogs can suddenly just attack your bird.

I hope that this was helpful! Good luck with your feathered friend!

Thank you for your response! I'm definitely being patient with her, I just worry I'm not doing too much to help that she might keep the habits Too bad with the dog; I sometimes see tiels and dog videos where they get along really well

 

[CagedStardust]

A bird who is only tolerating you wouldn't fly to you. That's a pretty big trust right there, especially so early on. Start using a phrase ([name], come!) to call her to you every time she's flying towards you and you may be able to very easily recall train her that way!

I'll try that! Thank you for the suggestion! I say 'tolerate' because the previous owner (who had her for months?) says she's pretty okay with people, and has no problem perching on someone, but says it's pretty sad because there hasn't been any form of attachment or bond (e.g transfer her to anyone, she won't fly back to you/doesn't recognize you as her owner), plus can be dangerous if she just keeps going with anyone since she might encounter someone bad She was bought from a store that kept her in a small cage full of aggressive other birds, and when bought, was just grabbed from behind, so she could also just be too anxious to resist. Though they didn't have much time for her, I just worry that i'm just another perch for her

She's only been with you for five days. Give her time to adjust to her new surroundings and people and she'll become more stable. By staying on your shoulder and flying after you, she's already showing she wants to be with you. Try starting from the beginning with stepping up. Get a treat she likes (millet spray is usually a big one for cockatiels) and train her to step-up consistently on command.

I'm just hoping she won't be keeping the habits, or that I might be reinforcing these habits by ignoring or addressing them in the wrong way Millet spray is pretty hard to find and get here (expensive too), but I did order a pack so I'm hoping to bond with her more!

I would skip covering her cage, honestly. I haven't covered any of my cages for years and can absolutely understand how a big sheet descending on the cage might be frightening. I prefer just turning out the lights in the room the bird is kept. You can use a night light - I don't, but I've read a few times that it's best to use one that casts red light.

It's normal for a bird to be cranky at bedtime. My birds will have their dinner and then go to roost. If I bother them during this time, they're not gonna be happy about it. I would just make sure she's eating in her cage instead of out of it so you don't have to interrupt her roosting to put her back into cage.

The room where her cage is in has its light always on at night, and I just worry this might not help her sleep She also really dislikes being in the cage, so I do have a hard time bringing her back there, or even get her to eat inside. From where the cage is, she can see me still awake, and when I look at her from time to time, she doesn't seem to be comfortable / isn't at all sleeping or winding down. I don't know if it's because I'm still awake that she is, because she doesn't like being in the cage, or both. I'm hoping to change her view of the cage with treats

You're gonna do fine. Never stop learning.

Thank you for the response! I appreciate it!