Conure love/hates my boyfriend!

[itsronni]

Pasting this from backyardchickens…

Hello everyone! Wanted to see if any of you have any tips for my wacky bird, who is OBSESSED with my boyfriend... for good and bad!

A little background on Beepers, the green cheek conure: he's a three year old (estimated age and gender) rescue. I am his primary caretaker. Previously, he was surrendered for his one-person habits towards his old family's young adult son, so his infatuation with my boyfriend was anticipated. Except, it's not really going as planned, as birds tend to do! Before I begin: Beepers will not be going anywhere. I love him, my boyfriend loves him, and we have committed to working with him. This will not change, regardless of behavioral issues.

So, here's the big issue. We're not sure if he loves my boyfriend or hates him! He bites his arms relentlessly, and now it looks like somebody's been putting cigarettes out on his arms! This happens if I'm in the room or not, although there have been three times where my boyfriend has gotten too close to me and gotten bit. Although, it happens the most when I'm not home. Which is weird, since I thought at first he was jealous, but he's actually much nicer when I'm around! My boyfriend has told me Beepers has actually growled at him, then began biting him relentlessly... I've never even heard him growl before! I can get close to my boyfriend no problem, and Beepers even wants me to pet him while on my boyfriend's shoulder occasionally. My boyfriend has no such freedoms, however, and will be bit.

At his previous home, Beepers was said to bite everyone except the young adult son. This is the opposite for us. Beepers will never bite me or my future MIL who lives with us, and loves to cuddle with us. His favorite spot is to be cupped underneath our hand, and he'll take naps on me like this frequently. Most of the time, he does prefer me over my FMIL, as I work the most with him, but he does love her, and will go hang out with her sometimes. My boyfriend, however, is not allowed to touch him with his hands. That's an immediate bite. That being said, Beepers will NOT get off my boyfriend's shoulder most of the time... He's the only one he wants to be on 90% of the time, which is why we're so confused! He'll fly to him, dance for him to come pick him up, but then suddenly, bam, my boyfriend's arm is getting ripped into. It can be immediate or after some time of being nice. After this, Beepers will usually want to be on me, as if he's mad at my boyfriend.

For discipline, we put him back in his cage. I know, I know, not ideal... but Beeps will not sit on a perch, he's very much a Velcro bird, and wants to be on a shoulder all the time. He used to like his window perch, but he gradually used it less and less, instead finding his amusement from us, lol! I thought that maybe we had trained him to bite my boyfriend to go back in his cage, which is still a possibility I'm mulling over.

So what the heck, Beeps?? Do you love us, hate us, what??? I know it's time for The Great Change here, being close to February, and this will be our very first time with a hormonal parrot! It feels good to vent about it in a place where people understand... people think I'm crazy for putting so much energy into this little parrot, but we love him so much, and I just want my boys to be happy together! If anyone has any advice for us, they would be much appreciated!!

 

[Emma&pico]

So sorry your having to deal with this

@Wardy is brilliant with his girls hopefully he can help but is enjoying an holiday at min

@Pixiebeak might be help too with amazing advise

 

[itsronni]

Thank you Emma&pico! I'm stalking this forum hoping someone can shed some light on this...
I forgot to mention, we've had Beepers since August of last year, so he's still relatively new.

 

[Emma&pico]

Have you got a picture of his cage set up what toys etc does he have outside his cage what about foraging does he like foraging?
might help people help you
I have lovebirds indie bites me on arms I say no bites and put her down she comes back but I kept doing it she got message normally now I only have to say no bite and she stops I had to stop her being on my shoulder until she got point as she bite my ears

I am hoping somebody better than me can come help you

 

[Pixiebeak]

Hello and welcome
If he steps up for you doesn't bite you ,and you can cuddle, you are the primary favorite.

Here are the things I would try. Everybody goes and says good morning and hands a safflower seed( like crack to most gcc). Everybody tells tge burd goodbye when leaving sbd gives a treat abd sane thing as soon as they return home. Parrots want to keep track whos coming and going.

Next you are going to be the bridge with him to rest of family. When he is calm not over excited. You will have him step to you first. Then you will have him step from you to another family members arm and you will give a treat, then have him immediately step back to you for treat and praise. Repeat up to 3 times a session no more. But can do many times a day.

After several days of above and he really has a hang of what you are asking. Then you move from having him still on you first , step to other family members arm and they give the treat. Then right back to you for treat and praises again. This is pass the birdie ! No more than 3 times per session many sessions a day.

All my birds after going through the above traing, will step from me to anyone I ask even a stranger for a treat and short visit. And over time will hang out with them if the burds want to . But no touching unless the burds asks for it.

When my ex first met my gcc there was some jealousy. We did the above. Then he also did many walk overs say hi and just hand a treat. Then we did a group date night on the couch. We got a plate of strawberries , my gcc favorite ! We put ons movie. We fed each other strawbrry and her strawberries. We passed her back and forth and let her run back and forth. Blew her kisses , kisses to each other ( a previous hot buttons for her), we made it very special and inclusive. She felt like a princess! She was completely smitten with him after that!

Right now . Your burd isn't allowed on his shoulders. Until the trust and respect has built up. He isn't allowed to try and pet her. Every single time she Flys to his shoulder you ask him to step off to you for treat and praise and then you walk him over to a play perch area to step to fir treat snd praise. Evey single time ! If he is alone he walks over to perchbtaps it shows treat abdcask to step off fior treat and praise. Evet dingjevtine you don't let her get away with being on his shoulder. She will learn. Later in when all is settled down and no butes.. think months. Then you can give should privileges back.

You will also spend one on one time with your burd as normal fir cuddling abd hang out.

You will also encourage and praise when on perch aress. Its good to hsve one placed near couch or chair were you all hang out. As his hang out spot. As well as top of cage decked out with perches and stuff abd one near a window. They lesrn n these are theirs spots. They always get praise hsve millet toyscsbd chew stuff there.

 

[itsronni]

@Pixiebeak thank you soooo much! This advice is fantastic!! We’ll get started on that training right away…
I could not get a beat on Beeps for the life of me, and honestly thought he hated me and preferred my boyfriend! I guess the bites should’ve gave that away, huh??
@Emma&pico he used to love his foraging toys, now he’s too obsessed with biting the boyfriend to look at it.
He loves toys that jingle and goes crazy for foot toys like cat toys.
Here’s a pic of him in front of his cage, and then an older pic of his cage when I first got him. I’ve added a few more toys, but he’s VERY picky! We finally have two in rotation that he loves!
Also, he’s on 1/4 Goldenfeast South America, 1/3 Harrison’s pellets, and the rest is his homemade mash. He loves his pellets and mash!

 

[Pixiebeak]

Gcc like sotfer wood than you think.@April got this for me from little monsters a forum vendor!! Not sure what type of wood this is basal? Anyway she loves it

This kind of activity wall wjth lots if frilly paper shreds and different textures is a big hit with my gcc snd quakers from Things four Wings a vendor hear as well!
Decorate tge outside of your Cage! Hang abd attach some perches above too
You can check out festgered Estates for inspiration abd see what other folks do!

 

[itsronni]

@Pixiebeak Once we're no longer snowed in I'll make a trip to the pet store! This is fantastic, I've wanted him to start chewing on some wood toys, so I'll keep a look out! I'll start decorating the outside of his cage too, that's a great idea! I make him some foraging toys out of empty toilet paper rolls, multi-colored paper, and his favorite treats so he'll pick through them. He LOVES the crinkle paper! Your birdies are beautiful! <3

 

[Wardy]

There is a article on breaking the pair bond relationship that is often linked on the forum, sorry i cant find it hopefully another member can link this, great advice about toys and foraging however i do think your cheekie is bonded to you and you MIL. to a degree and i think you may need to adjust some of your behaviours towards your bird.
How much sleep is your bird getting ?
Both of my cheekies get cranky from time to time usually when hormonal if they do get cranky i always increase the amount of sleep the get cage covered so in total darkness this often improves there mood.

 

[itsronni]

@Wardy he’s on 14 hours of sleep right now, which after some experimenting seems to work better for him than 12.

My MIL has a very bad habit of petting him where she shouldn’t, which we’re working on. He’s also wary around her sometimes because she can be a little too hyper for him. Yesterday he was on her while she was doing dishes, I supervised and instructed on how to interact with him without getting him excited. He did start acting like how he does when he’s on my boyfriend however, and I took him off before he could get bitey (or possessive, he’s never done that with her but the way she pets him always has me on edge, haha). That means he got hyper, started doing his head wiggles, and was looking at her arms tantalizingly, lol.

About the sleep again, I have him covered from 8pm to 10am, but he wakes up early. I think because of the light from the window. He has blackout curtains, but maybe I should look for a bigger one?

Thank you soooo much for all the wonderful advice so far! You are all amazing!!