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Cleaning out parents home...

lexalayne

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Joined
2/20/11
Messages
1,965
Location
Pelee Island
Real Name
Alexa
Sometimes, when you're brave enough to open up about some family problems you get feedback that doesn't fix what you're dealing with but makes you realize that you aren't alone. That feedback, I believe, gives more support sometimes than a counselor can. You can talk to people who have in the past or are in the present, very literally walking in your shoes and they all "get it".

So true and thank you for posting this. I came home from work today and I told my daughter that I posted this thread when I was taking a break from sorting through the piles at my parents house last night and all I wrote was “I’m overwhelmed” ... By this afternoon I felt better knowing I’m not alone in this situation.
 

EkkieLu

Rollerblading along the road
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/26/18
Messages
4,768
Location
Shelby Twp, Mich
Real Name
Tricia
You're definitely not alone Alexa. It seems quite a few of us know exactly how you're feeling. We're always available to support each other!
 

Joyceh

Checking out the neighborhood
Joined
5/1/19
Messages
2
I had my elderly father living with me till he passed on.i couldn't bear the guilt I had when he was in a convalescent home. I knew I could take better care of him and I did. Now I have a clear conscience, but there were some blowups for sure...sometimes I would just put the sides up on his bed, go outside into the Walnut orchard and scream vulgar words and I hate yous til I calmed down. Lucky for me I was not a drinker or i.d a been an alky for sure. So good luck and know that it's just life and god bless you.
 

BrianB

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Joined
2/22/17
Messages
1,298
Location
Arizona
I have an older family member who is living with early-stage dementia. She lives on her own at the moment and refuses to consider any sort of assisted living arrangement. She has two dogs that she insists are her emotional support animals and refuses to give one of them up. She's only 75, but we saw the start of this a decade ago. She no longer drives because we got the state to cancel her license. She blamed it on her physician, and since he was a quack anyway, we didn't bother telling her the truth. In the last 3 years, she has destroyed her relationship with her 3 children. She sends me nasty emails frequently. Somehow the problems with her children are my fault. She sold her house to her oldest son who moved in with her after his divorce. His girlfriend wanted her out, and he sided with the girlfriend. She moved out and he cut her off. Her daughter who had been taking care of her and helping her in one way or another finally cut her off. She had been so nasty and demanding of her daughter that she finally said enough and stopped talking to her. The youngest son lives halfway across the country and can't be bothered with her. So she dumps her anger on me. Mostly I ignore it, but once in a while she goes too far and I remind her that I'm the only one who still talks to her, and her behavior is making it really hard for me to continue. None of her siblings will talk to her without another family member being there. It's very sad. It doesn't help that her Dr got her onto some medication that causes dementia-like symptoms in elderly people, and also causes drug-seeking behavior. It's not a narcotic, but it causes behavior like an addict would have. The Dr would no longer prescribe it, but somehow she managed to still get it. We've had to call every local pharmacy and tell them not to deliver medication to her. It's hard to watch, but she sees nothing wrong with her actions, and somehow everything is always someone else fault.
 

lexalayne

Rollerblading along the road
Avenue Veteran
Joined
2/20/11
Messages
1,965
Location
Pelee Island
Real Name
Alexa
Thank you everyone for all of your posts. It’s hard dealing with these issues and everyone’s insight and shared stories have made me feel less isolated. Recently I decided to just go along with my mom’s delusional stories ... well most of them .. she has quite a cast of characters going on in the drama of her life now. Unfortunately Parkinson’s can have the effect of her seeing people that aren’t there and after months of not being able to convince her that these people aren’t real I started asking about them. And surprisingly the day went fine. She wasn’t defensive or dismissive and at times I was able to get a glimpse of my mom before this disease. And I was grateful
 
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