Hi, I have just lost my little girl and I completely understand what you’re going through. Although she’d been sick for over a month, she’d always gotten through being ill - so I really didn’t think we would lose her. About a week before she passed I took her to the vets where the possibility of putting her to sleep was brought up - so in that sense I came to terms with the fact we might lose her. Still, the day when I knew she had no more life in her, it was still a shock.
I keep reminding myself that she was ill and she would’ve suffered if she kept going any longer. But it doesn’t take away the pain.
I have just tried my best to occupy myself with looking after Joey who she left behind. I have also ordered a little picture with a message underneath for the bird room, planned a memory box that I’ll be putting photos, feathers and her ashes in and just little things like that - so that although she is gone, she is still around in some way.
Also, keep looking at pictures/videos with happy memories rather than the bad -I’ve found that’s worked well for me so I remember her as the happy crazy little birdie she was for most of her life.
I hope you are okay, and just try and take every day as it comes. It’s difficult, just make sure you’re taking the time to get out of the house and do things you enjoy.