Something I just realised,, (Trans talk wif b0rd)

[Tapew0rrm]

I know that I just got back, but there has been something on the back of my mind since day one of Aro coming home..

When I start transitioning (FtM), I will probably change quite a bit physically, and I didn't consider before how that might effect him. I know that the changes will be subtle and happen over time, but with things like surgeries to change certain parts of my body, that'll happen pretty quickly. And, voice wise, it will probably get deeper (I will finally no longer sound like a child as a fully grown adult xD). Now I'm wondering if he'll recognize me as the same person or get scared/confused by me. ._. Probably a bit of a blind shot..but are there any trans people on here that have been through this and have any info on what to expect? I don't plan on transitioning for a while, not until I'm in a safe environment for it. But I'd rather be prepared rather then go in blind, yknow? Like other things I should have prepared for, oops xD

 

[flyzipper]

I'm not trans, but have commented before that one of my birds (Oscar) is standoffish after the sudden change when I shave after allowing my beard to grow a little too much (it takes a day or two before we're back to normal). My other two don't notice or care.

It's nice that you're concerned about Aro, but I suspect he won't mind.

 

[Tapew0rrm]

I'm not trans, but have commented before that one of my birds (Oscar) is standoffish after the sudden change when I shave after allowing my beard to grow a little too much (it takes a day or two before we're back to normal). My other two don't notice or care.

It's nice that you're concerned about Aro, but I suspect he won't mind.

Yeah, that's the exact situation that kept it coming back in my mind xD The fact that some birds can be very confused by sudden changes from their owners. I remember once reading a story about someone dyeing their hair and their bird just,,completely not recognizing them as the same person. That might have been an exaggeration though for all I know xD

 

[tka]

If you're already binding, the chances are that he won't notice if you get top surgery - or, rather, the thing he's likely to notice is that you're moving around differently for a couple of weeks while you heal up. It's a good idea to have someone around to care for him (and you!) as you will be feeling pretty sore and not able to pick up heavy things.

Changes due to testosterone are usually pretty slow. It usually takes a while for the first chin hairs to sprout and I'm sorry to say, you will have teenager-style bum fluff for a while. It usually takes a few years for proper facial hair to grow and again, the slowness of the changes means that the only way you notice is through photos or suddenly realising that you need to shave more often.

Vocal changes can be pretty slow again - your voice won't break overnight! You can expect to sound a bit rough and raspy for a while but again, it's gradual and something you're more likely to notice if you compare recordings of yourself. There are a number of trans YouTubers who have made transition diaries of their voices - you might like to watch some of these to get a better idea of what to expect. There are vocal coaches who specialise in working with trans people to better understand and control their new vocal range.

If you're concerned about abrupt changes, then you can look at using testosterone gel rather than getting injections. Injections give you a big dose once every few weeks. In contrast, you apply a small dose of gel to your skin every day (either a sachet or a pump from a bottle). The small, regular dose means that you have a more stable amount of testosterone in your system rather than big surges. You do have to be careful that other people or Aro doesn't come in contact with the skin where you've applied the gel or they get a dose of T as well! There have been supply chain issues for gel in the UK but hopefully those will have been resolved by the time you transition.

Haircuts are probably the most dramatic change to your appearance that a bird will notice. I shaved my head over lockdown because the barbers was closed and it was getting unacceptably shaggy. Leia was put out for a day or so but got over it.

In short, I think you and Aro will be fine. A lot of the changes are pretty slow so he'll have plenty of time to get used to it.

 

[Pixiebeak]

I had one shirt that I got was so pretty pink swirl. Freaked out my Pikachu like crazy lol
Burbs be weird sometimes
But they adapt

 

[Tapew0rrm]

If you're already binding, the chances are that he won't notice if you get top surgery - or, rather, the thing he's likely to notice is that you're moving around differently for a couple of weeks while you heal up. It's a good idea to have someone around to care for him (and you!) as you will be feeling pretty sore and not able to pick up heavy things.

Changes due to testosterone are usually pretty slow. It usually takes a while for the first chin hairs to sprout and I'm sorry to say, you will have teenager-style bum fluff for a while. It usually takes a few years for proper facial hair to grow and again, the slowness of the changes means that the only way you notice is through photos or suddenly realising that you need to shave more often.

Vocal changes can be pretty slow again - your voice won't break overnight! You can expect to sound a bit rough and raspy for a while but again, it's gradual and something you're more likely to notice if you compare recordings of yourself. There are a number of trans YouTubers who have made transition diaries of their voices - you might like to watch some of these to get a better idea of what to expect. There are vocal coaches who specialise in working with trans people to better understand and control their new vocal range.

If you're concerned about abrupt changes, then you can look at using testosterone gel rather than getting injections. Injections give you a big dose once every few weeks. In contrast, you apply a small dose of gel to your skin every day (either a sachet or a pump from a bottle). The small, regular dose means that you have a more stable amount of testosterone in your system rather than big surges. You do have to be careful that other people or Aro doesn't come in contact with the skin where you've applied the gel or they get a dose of T as well! There have been supply chain issues for gel in the UK but hopefully those will have been resolved by the time you transition.

Haircuts are probably the most dramatic change to your appearance that a bird will notice. I shaved my head over lockdown because the barbers was closed and it was getting unacceptably shaggy. Leia was put out for a day or so but got over it.

In short, I think you and Aro will be fine. A lot of the changes are pretty slow so he'll have plenty of time to get used to it.

Thank you, I really appreciate your help!!! I'm aware it will take a while to make actual changes, but as I'm sure it's obvious, I worry soo easily haha. I did not know that Testostrone gel was a thing though, I've only ever heard of people taking the injections! O: I haven't really been too active in "trans life" so to speak due to me not being exactly,,ready,,to accept myself. I've always had issues with people just accepting who I am, I think thats what I love about animals, you could literally change your whole existence and they would never judge you for it or say theres something wrong with you. :3

But, I'm glad to hear that Aro won't be too confused. Thankfully haircut wise having long hair for me is great, so I don't really have to be too concerned over that. But just knowing again that won't be something that cause issues again is so helpful <3

 

[Tapew0rrm]

I had one shirt that I got was so pretty pink swirl. Freaked out my Pikachu like crazy lol
Burbs be weird sometimes
But they adapt

Maybe he was confused by the colour? xD I've heard it can happen.

I have noticed Aro absolutely /hates/ bright pinks, whcih is weird since he likes red thinking about it. But, I've noticed whenever I'm wearing my pajamas with flamingos on, he stares at the pink like it committed a crime against his people xD and whenever I use anything with bright pink on it, he keeps his distance. Birds really are weird xD

 

[Sarahmoluccan]

I agree Aro will probably be fine with changes especially the ones are more gradual

My friend has a son who is also FtM trans. Now he started his transition just before covid started. So I and Echo went around two years without really seeing him. We use to be neighbours so we saw them all the time. He and his mom came to say goodbye to my dog Bits just before we put him down. They also saw Echo too. Now Echo is extremely friendly and will go to anyone. But even though Echo really hadn't my friend's son since his transition I think he kind of remembered him. Its hard to say for sure, Echo acted a little odd, but in "I'm pretty sure I know you, but I'm not sure what's different" kind of way. If that makes sense. I dunno if this little anecdote is helpful but I thought it might be interesting to you.

 

[Princessbella]

I know that I just got back, but there has been something on the back of my mind since day one of Aro coming home..

When I start transitioning (FtM), I will probably change quite a bit physically, and I didn't consider before how that might effect him. I know that the changes will be subtle and happen over time, but with things like surgeries to change certain parts of my body, that'll happen pretty quickly. And, voice wise, it will probably get deeper (I will finally no longer sound like a child as a fully grown adult xD). Now I'm wondering if he'll recognize me as the same person or get scared/confused by me. ._. Probably a bit of a blind shot..but are there any trans people on here that have been through this and have any info on what to expect? I don't plan on transitioning for a while, not until I'm in a safe environment for it. But I'd rather be prepared rather then go in blind, yknow? Like other things I should have prepared for, oops xD

Your bird is going to see all of your changes gradually and he will figure it out. It is not like it is going to happen in one day so he will have time to adjust. I don't think they notice body part changes but most of us all fat or lose weight. I think if you just treat him the same, he will know that you are his parront.

 

[cnyguy]

It's supposed to help to explain to parrots beforehand when any changes in personal appearance are going to be made. It can be something relatively simple like a change in hairstyle or growing or removing a beard or mustache, or something more complex like you will be going through. It certainly can't hurt to talk to your parrots about the things that will be happening.

 

[taxidermynerd]

I'm agender (afab), and when I had my budgie he didn't seem to mind any difference when I was binding or anything like that. I haven't been on hrt or had top surgery so I can't speak to that. But honestly the biggest thing for my budgie was my haircuts, because he liked to hide under my hair when it was longer.

I think if you're interacting with your bird every day, just by him being around you he will adjust to changes like facial hair and voice changes over time.

I also second what tka said about noticing the changes in mannerism after surgery, birds are sensitive to their human's emotions so he'll probably pick up on you being in the recovery stage.

 

[tka]

Transitioning isn't a race I've met people who transitioned in their teens and people who transitioned in their 70s. It's possible whatever your age. What's more important is taking the time to consider who you are and what you want your life to look like, and then figuring out how transition fits into that. If you're not ready right now or need to be in a safer place, that's totally understandable.

If you are ready for more information, Spectra are running some free online information sessions on trans healthcare in the UK. A friend of mine works there and they're a good trans advocacy organisation.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1600816542706343939

 

[Sparkles99]

I can look very different, such that some people who know me & regularly see me don’t recognize me, based on what my hair is doing. It’s 3C (curliest possible for a Caucasian). Depending on if/how it’s dyed or straightened I look like someone else, especially if I also add makeup, which I don’t regularly wear.

None of my animals or budgies care. They know it’s me. Maybe it’s smell, how I walk, my voice, mannerisms, etc. The animals know. The people are confused.

Basically, I think you’re thinking like a human & applying it up your bird.

 

[finchly]

Basically, I think you’re thinking like a human & applying it up your bird.

Anthropomorphism!

I’m like you, my hair is 2c and I’m always having to re-introduce myself to people! It’s up, down, curly, straight…