Should I rehome or Euthanize? (looking for advice, not judgement)

[shibaak]

Hi All,
I have a question about rehoming or euthenizing my bird, and I want no judgement! I am really asking for advice.

I have 2 conures. A green cheek (male named tutu) and a yellow sided (female named mango). Tutu is 2.5 years old, and he was bonded with my husband when Mango came (Mango is 1.5 years old). Tutu was abused before he came to us in the breeder's house. So he was a difficult pet. Since at that time, my husband worked feom home, he bonded with him, and never had a very good relationship with me. He bites me and anyone other than my husband all the time. He draws blood as he bites very very badly. My husband was the one handling him all the time.

When Mango came, she came from a good breeder and ahe was mentally stable. Tutu and Mango took some time to bond, but they finally did bond, and they even laid eggs this spring (I boiled the eggs because we didn't want them to have babies).

Mango was a very easy bird. Super cute and great. However, she has recently become super jealous. If he sees my husband, she flies to attack him as hard as she can from wherever she is. She bites him very bad, much worse than we thought she could and she does it non-stop. I have to hold her in my hands so she cannot fly, if my husband is around. And God forbid, if she sees my husband with Tutu, she does everything to get to them and bite my husband non-stop. She is showing the same behavior towards everyone except me.

IIt has become very difficult and almost impossible to handle them. I cannot handle Tutu and my husband cannot handle Mango and is regularly and severely attacked by Mango. I have tried everything to stop her attacks, but they haven't worked.

I have not found any solution other than rehoming or euthanizing them, and I don't know what to do. If I rehome them, there is guarantee that they will be in a rehoming cycle for ever, as they cannot be handled by anyone. So I am thinking of euthanizing them. But they are relatively healthy birds that I should euthanize and I cannot get myself to do that.

What would you do if you were me? What else can I do?

 

[Shezbug]

Have you attempted to train your birds? You say you have tried everything- does this include sessions with a qualified behaviourist?

 

[shibaak]

Have you attempted to train your birds? You say you have tried everything- does this include sessions with a qualified behaviourist?

There is no behaviorist where I live to meet in person. But I have tried online sessions with trainers and they haven't worked.
I have tried training myself. I have tried everything from food to treats to punishing (with putting in the cage, etc. No harm punishing methods), and everything else to help this situation. But none of them have worked.

 

[Tazlima]

Don't take this the wrong way, but just because you're having trouble with them, that doesn't mean they're broken forever and nobody else will be able to handle them. With the right placement, they may do very well.

I have a quaker that came to me under these exact circumstances. He was biting his family and attacking their toddler. These were people with lots of bird experience. Much more than me, in fact. But the combination of baby and bitey bird was more than they could handle. I've had him for several years now, and he's still a nippy little turd some days, but generally we get along swimmingly, and I adore the little booger.

My mother had a dog that she just never clicked with. She kept it because she had made the commitment, and it was a nice, friendly dog, but it felt like a burden to her. She felt horribly guilty about it, too, because she's had many dogs in her life and never felt this way before.

Then her friend came to visit, and it was love at first sight. Friend and dog were made for each other, so my mother gave the dog to her friend, who lived with her children and grandchildren in a big, noisy home. It was a huge change from my mother's quiet little place, and that dog thrived.

If you truly feel there's no way to keep the birds, then rehome. Euthanizing an animal because you feel nobody will ever care for it as well as you would have is tragic. Sometimes it's just a bad combination, vinegar and baking soda. But put vinegar on salad, mix baking soda into a cake, find them their proper complement, and both can really shine.

 

[shibaak]

Is anyone have any advice for what I could do?

 

[macawpower58]

Where are you? Are there parrot rescues there?
What do you want to do?
If you want to rehome to a safe place, knowing your country would help us help you find such a place.
If you want to make it work with them, there are many ideas and advice members here can give.
Support is also something we can offer.
Euthanization should be the last resort in my opinion.

Sometimes others can see what you can not. Tell us a bit about them and their life.
Where are the cages kept in your home, size of cage(s)?
It sounds like they are bonded and/territorial.
Are they flighted and do they fly, do they fly to attack?

A bit more information on your part will help us advise you.

 

[Hankmacaw]

You can try to get them into a sanctuary where they would have a life time home without the risk of going into the rehome cycle.

I'm sure there is a solution without resorting to euthanasia.

 

[shibaak]

I am in Canada. There is no parrot rescue that can accept more parrots in my city.
The cage is a very large with lots of perches and toys, and they get about 6 new toys every week. I wash their cage every week during the weekends.
Mango flies to attack. Tutu doesn't attack unless I want to handle him. Tutu's wings were clipped when we got him. He did not molt for a year as he was sick and therefore he could not learn to fly. After spending over 1K on vets and exams, we finally realized he was allergic to pellets. When he started eating seeds, his molt started right away and he recovered from his sickness right away. He molted very quickly and now he can fly. But he does not fly unless he has to (usually when he gets scared of something). I have been trying to train him a bit, and it has helped. But he still prefers that we take him everywhere with us rather than flying and coming to us. Does not fly unless he has too.

Their diet is a mix of 6 to 10 sseed depending on the season, vegetables and fruits with occasional egg white (one or twice a month). Their treat is sunflower seed which they love to death. Once a week, they also get a serving of Harrison recovery formula which their vet has prescribed (because they are on a seed diet.) they love it to death, and definitely helps them during molting.

They sleep about 11 to 12 hours every night from around 6 to 7 PM until 6 to 7 AM. They have their own room and it is pretty dark, but not completely completely dark. They do not like it too dark and nag when it is too dark. It's also in a quiet place. So they get pretty good sleep.

During the day, they usually are outside the cage free to go around, unless neither of us are home in which case they go into the cage. I'd say this is maybe once or twice a week for an hour or so. We both work from home and we usually try not to leave them alone during the day. If we want to go outside, it's after they go to sleep.

During the day, their cage is in the living room and they spend their time on the cage or go around the house here and there. Sometimes, maybe once a week for an hour or so, I take their cage into the backyard, somewhere that has some sunlight, but not too direct. Under a tree or something. During tbe day, they have a lamp that I turn on for a couple of hours during the day.

They used to spend at least 4 hours a day with us. 1 hour in the morning, 1 hour at noon and 2 - 3 hours during the evening. This was the routine. But during the day also, we spent time with them for short amounts of time here and there. Overall, at least 5 to 6 hours per day.

They had a pretty good life. Until Mango started becoming super territorial with my husband.

 

[shibaak]

Don't take this the wrong way, but just because you're having trouble with them, that doesn't mean they're broken forever and nobody else will be able to handle them. With the right placement, they may do very well.

I have a quaker that came to me under these exact circumstances. He was biting his family and attacking their toddler. These were people with lots of bird experience. Much more than me, in fact. But the combination of baby and bitey bird was more than they could handle. I've had him for several years now, and he's still a nippy little turd some days, but generally we get along swimmingly, and I adore the little booger.

My mother had a dog that she just never clicked with. She kept it because she had made the commitment, and it was a nice, friendly dog, but it felt like a burden to her. She felt horribly guilty about it, too, because she's had many dogs in her life and never felt this way before.

Then her friend came to visit, and it was love at first sight. Friend and dog were made for each other, so my mother gave the dog to her friend, who lived with her children and grandchildren in a big, noisy home. It was a huge change from my mother's quiet little place, and that dog thrived.

If you truly feel there's no way to keep the birds, then rehome. Euthanizing an animal because you feel nobody will ever care for it as well as you would have is tragic. Sometimes it's just a bad combination, vinegar and baking soda. But put vinegar on salad, mix baking soda into a cake, find them their proper complement, and both can really shine.

Thanks for the advice. We actually didn't have much of a problem before. Tutu was completely ok with my husband, and Mango was bonded with us both. I could still handle Tutu to some extent and we were ok. So while he never was as bonded with me as he was with my husband, I still could handle him and he came to me when my husband wasn't around. Mango never had any problem and she was the sweetest little girl.

But recently, she has become so territorial and she attacks my husband. This just happened literally overnight. She was good one day and suddenly from the next morning, she became like that to my husband, and now she attacks everyone but me. Nothing has changed in their environment really!

It's not like we had a bad relationship from scratch. We were good until recently.

 

[flyzipper]

I'll offer that the stigma attached to rehoming is unwarranted since it can benefit the bird, and "forever home" is an ideal seldom seen.
It's ironic that we frequently see posts from people looking to rehome their birds, acknowledging their own reasons for doing so, yet still insist on that promise from a new family.
When we adopt a bird and promise to give them a good life, that may involve rehoming it. Doing so isn't a failure on our part, it's honouring that fundamental promise.

I would not have Jericho or Oscar if their previous families didn't embrace rehoming (and they have a good life with me, if I do say so myself).

So, given those two options (rehome or euthanize), rehome -- 100 times out of 100.

(I classify the sanctuary option as a type of rehome)

Mango was a very easy bird. Super cute and great. However, she has recently become super jealous. If he sees my husband, she flies to attack him as hard as she can from wherever she is. She bites him very bad, much worse than we thought she could and she does it non-stop. I have to hold her in my hands so she cannot fly, if my husband is around. And God forbid, if she sees my husband with Tutu, she does everything to get to them and bite my husband non-stop. She is showing the same behavior towards everyone except me.

Regarding that aspect, if you attempt to address this behaviour, I would suggest starting here...

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

... it sounds like Mango may be overly bonded with you.

I am in Canada. There is no parrot rescue that can accept more parrots in my city.

What province are you in? Perhaps I can help find a resource.

 

[shibaak]

You can try to get them into a sanctuary where they would have a life time home without the risk of going into the rehome cycle.

I'm sure there is a solution without resorting to euthanasia.

The only sanctuary I know of around me is open and super cold in the winter and they will die in it! Also Tutu cannot fly much. So she cannot live outside

Can I fly them to some sanctuary in the US or somewhere that's covered? Somewhere that is not an open sanctuary and maybe a covered one?

 

[shibaak]

Just another question. Is there a reason that every single mesaage I send needs approval? This seema a bit weird for an open forum that every single answer should be approved by the moderator!

 

[Fuzzy]

Have you tried putting them in separate cages so that they don't act as a bonded pair and try to drive people away? Then try training each of them - teach them to target first since that's an easy behaviour to teach. It would create a whole different relationship with you.

 

[expressmailtome]

Just another question. Is there a reason that every single mesaage I send needs approval? This seema a bit weird for an open forum that every single answer should be approved by the moderator!

That is required for every post by every member for posts in this section.

 

[shibaak]

I'll offer that the stigma attached to rehoming is unwarranted since it can benefit the bird, and "forever home" is an ideal seldom seen.
It's ironic that we frequently see posts from people looking to rehome their birds, acknowledging their own reasons for doing so, yet still insist on that promise from a new family.
When we adopt a bird and promise to give them a good life, that may involve rehoming it. Doing so isn't a failure on our part, it's honouring that fundamental promise.

I would not have Jericho or Oscar if their previous families didn't embrace rehoming (and they have a good life with me, if I do say so myself).

So, given those two options (rehome or euthanize), rehome -- 100 times out of 100.

(I classify the sanctuary option as a type of rehome)


Regarding that aspect, if you attempt to address this behaviour, I would suggest starting here...

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

... it sounds like Mango may be overly bonded with you.


What province are you in? Perhaps I can help find a resource.

Thanks for the article. I will take a look. But Mango is not overly bonded to me. She was actually leaning towards my husband before she suddenly became so jealous and started attacking him.

I am in Alberta. I searched, but seems like there is no real sanctuary here. They all still try to rehome the birds.

 

[shibaak]

Have you tried putting them in separate cages so that they don't act as a bonded pair and try to drive people away? Then try training each of them - teach them to target first since that's an easy behaviour to teach. It would create a whole different relationship with you.

Once we did and the next day, Tutu had plucked half of the feathers on his wings, and Mango was sitting at the bottom of the cage, very sad and not leaving the cage. So we brought them back together.

They are trained. They both do lots of tricks and were regularly trained before the attacks started.

 

[shibaak]

I'll offer that the stigma attached to rehoming is unwarranted since it can benefit the bird, and "forever home" is an ideal seldom seen.
It's ironic that we frequently see posts from people looking to rehome their birds, acknowledging their own reasons for doing so, yet still insist on that promise from a new family.
When we adopt a bird and promise to give them a good life, that may involve rehoming it. Doing so isn't a failure on our part, it's honouring that fundamental promise.

I would not have Jericho or Oscar if their previous families didn't embrace rehoming (and they have a good life with me, if I do say so myself).

So, given those two options (rehome or euthanize), rehome -- 100 times out of 100.

(I classify the sanctuary option as a type of rehome)


Regarding that aspect, if you attempt to address this behaviour, I would suggest starting here...

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

... it sounds like Mango may be overly bonded with you.


What province are you in? Perhaps I can help find a resource.

I read the article half way through. Their relationship with us was very similar to the ideal relationship in thw article. Although they both leaned towards my husband, and Tutu was more bonded to my husband. He was ok with me when my husband was not around. But they had short frequent interactions with us, and used to be quite independent.

 

[Hankmacaw]

Yes, you could fly them to another sanctuary. For example their is an excellent one here in AZ - Homepage.

 

[flyzipper]

there is no real sanctuary here. They all still try to rehome the birds.

As I attempted to convey, there's nothing wrong with rehoming birds.
What's stopping you from allowing them to use their expertise to find a suitable new home?

My Jericho was rehomed because he chased the previous family's grandkids.
I have no kids or grandkids, so something that was a problem for somebody else is not a problem for Jericho in his new home with me.

 

[bonjourtok]

I would not euthanize. It seems like Mango has become a territorial/defensive female now that she is bonded and it's pushed your home life past the point of pleasant. You said you don't have a rescue nearby, that's totally understandable. But there are other options. I would advertise them in local groups, call any nearby zoos or similar facilities. There's bound to be someone who wants them.

And in the meantime, if my bird was flying to severely attack me and regularly drawing blood, they would absolutely get their wings clipped as a safety measure. I've found that a couple of my birds are significantly less bitey when they are clipped. They no longer feel like they have free reign to control the household. Your quality of life matters, too. I know that's not everyone's shared perspective, just my two cents.