On Monday Buddy passed away. She'd been busy buzzing me then had a bath. She was preening on my hand when she just fell off. By the time I'd picked her up she'd stopped breathing. CPR didn't help.
I've been sat here analysing everything, searching for a reason. No matter how hard I tried I found nothing, but I still feel bad about it.
This afternoon I got the awaited email from my vet.
Cause of death: Sudden death due to Atherosclerosis. She could have had either a heart attack or a stroke, but it doesn't matter which. Ultimately she was killed by her arteries.
I'm gutted. She was only a couple of years old, but apparently in rare cases some parrots are genetically prone. I was also relieved (does that sound wrong?), she died quickly and Tau is safe from anything threatening.
The diagnosis was hardly a surprise, my uncle was a heavy smoker, she ate loads of peanuts and sunflower seeds, and she hardly had any wing time.
She's in heaven now, we'll continue our friendship when I join her. I have so many great memories and photos from our short time together.
It was a real struggle bringing myself to post this. Not only did I analyse myself and the past few years but I'm also expecting some of you to do the same. I know some members will have their doubts after I lose so many young birds in the time I've been here. That's their head and they should deal with it.
In Buddy's honour I've renamed the play area 'The Sid and Buddy Memorial Park'.