I allllmost quit.

[Mare]

I feel I need to respond to Bokkapooh, in regards to her liking what I had said in a previous thread. Yes these birds, male cockatoos ARE all that, and more! They are territorial and will defend their mate with their life. They feel a persons "vibe" and will feed off of this. At the same time, Mercedez, I believe that, (and Shanlung reminded me of this), that our birds also feed off of our vibe.

My oldest son left today, to head back to his home in Seattle. Although Amigo has not and may not ever, accept my son to the point of flying to him on command, we did make progress. We can all, sit in the same room, with Amigo on my lap, without Amigo thinking about going for the throat! Well, maaaybe he thinks about it, but he was an in-controlled boy for the last couple days. This is definitely progress.

 

[Welshanne]

Wish I could be in the same room with our blue front Jay like that. He would definately be going for my jugular should I be in the same room as him whilst he is free. we have reached an understanding and respect one another but with Jay behind bars first!
He loves hubby and sits really up close and personal with him but with me it is attack attack attack. Can't win them all I suppose.

 

[Mare]

Ann, I think that your hubby has to be the one to let Jay know that you are not a threat, he, (hubby), in his heart, it comes from within, (it's hard to explain), has to let Jay know this.

 

[Welshanne]

Mare, I call Jay my Annabel lectur of the parrot world! He can be pure evil when he wants and nothing will change my mind as I have been down the road of giving him the benefit of the doubt to my own personal cost. The last straw was me entering the room and Jay being let out of his cage. I sat on the settee on my own and did not have any eye contact at all with him. Soon as he spotted me it was a full on attack. I ended up being covered with cushions to save my skin and having to stay in that position until he was back in his cage and me able to leave the room safely.
Anyone of the family on moving his cage has to be careful where they place their digits as he will have them because of his strong territorial feelings for HIS cage! We have handles with guards placed on each corner and wheels to move them around so we are safe that way. He will chat to me quite amiably with the bars between us! He accepts tit bits and thelike from my hand into his beak, but that is all.
I will chat to him and say "do the wing thing then Jay" and he understands and opens his beautiful wings and dips his head. the beauty of the colours he shows can take your breath away. Think this is going to be the extent of our relationship and cannot see it altering anytime soon. Win some lose some.

 

[Mare]

I'm sorry Ann, that's gotta be rough. I just wanted to let you know how we work. Our Sassy Goffin's girl is cage aggressive, a joke compared to your Jay bird, I'm sure. Try and believe that they know what you are thinking, sounds crazy, but just check it out. You may be surprised at how your thoughts change.

 

[shanlung]

Mare,

I think I did say I hope in a few months time to read Amigo to be flying to your son on cue.
A few days will be too much of a miracle of that sort to hope for.
That Amigo remaining no longer in a chompy and bity mood with your son is natural, even in just a day.
As said, it started in your mind.

But Amigo got to be watched carefully and not take things for granted.
I suggest you read on clicker training from the notes I placed in this thread and start Amigo on that.
Click and treat be followed up by son as bridge building to Amigo.
If son visits on daily basis, this can be doable. But is son's visit to you is infrequent, nix this move.

But you noticed your change of mind not ever to accept attacks of Amigo on your son precluded attacks from taking place.

Unlike what my writing to you was portrayed as.
A yelling screaming frenzy with your birdie, that will provoke bigger and more vicious attacks from Amigo.

When birdies are empaths, I am bewildered at that old hoary saying which seemed to be enshrined in stone that you must remain calm and demure and hypocritically pretend to your birdie that you are not hurting at all while you or your other is being chomped and chomped on. Even while your heart nova away in a blaze of pain and agony, NO! AS MATTER OF PRIDE AND TEACHING! I WILL NOT SHOW THAT!

I tried to fight that over the last ten years. I think I still be fighting that over the next ten years.

As if an empaths can be fooled by hypocritical pretense. If so by all means go that method.

Corny to extreme, and yet, you see how that teaching stuck and got perpertuated to the point what I wrote is being mocked at.

Their skin, their blood , and their chomped pieces pay the price of those enshrined-in-stone sayings.

Welshane,

Your SO have to take the lead. Mentally he must not accept attacks on you.
He must MENTALLY draw the line.

Unless he is a follower of enshrine-in-stone be demure and pretend it did not matter, evoking yet another hoary explanantion that
the birdie is hormonal as a nice carpet to bury and explain any and all trangressions. After all, the more you bury and explain, the less you need
to do anything about that. How nice!

In which case, Jays behind bars when you are around is the logical conclusion.

 

[Welshanne]

Thank you for that, it is a case of knowing when to admit defeat.
I truely love Jay and he is going nowhere, this is his forever home. He has to dislike someone so let it be me. In his last home he loved his old mum and watched over her day and night when she was poorly. It took its toll of Jay and he came to us suffering from sleep deprivation and over preened feathers by his cage companion at that time. I had to separate the two birds for their own good and although giving them their own space with their cages always close together, they had their out time together also. His feathers grew back, he had his full quota of rest and suppose his cage is now his castle so to speak and he intends keeping it that way. i love him to bits and respect him a lot but trust him no!

 

[dolldid]

Shanlung i agree with you i show Mango when im displeased with his actions im sorry to say but i do not beleave intime out ,,lol and i also beleave in standing in there shoes so to speak try and think what there feelikg Mango is a wimp,,lol but hes all amazon to just by covering my head and shoulders when i knew he was excited and would attack me has mad e a big change i dont need to do that now as hes learned in some crazy way im not afraid oh he flys at me and skimes over my head but thats all , if i have anyidea he might attack i keep my face towards ground looking at my feet he flys past my head and comes back sits on my shoulder as though nothing happened if he was to bite id rezct id yell at him and go after him let him know its not axcetable this i have done 5 yrs ago id have cowared not today this area belongs to us both we share it there is no boss but there is respect

Shanlung & Mare Happy Healthy New year

Mare im so glad things have settled for you May the New Year bring much progress


hus doll Mango

 

[Mare]

Shanlung, my thoughts made all difference in Amigo's approach to my son. When my fearful thoughts of him attacking were exchanged for, let's try and get along, there was a definite swing in the atmosphere. I've always known that Amigo knows how I feel about him, but I didn't realize that I could also influence him about how to feel about others! Holy Moly!

 

[shanlung]

You do remember the early days when you just got on bicycle and very wobbly at that.
Down the path you saw a stone. You focused on the stone and hoped you will avoid that stone.
Except the more you focused on that stone, your bicycle went onto the stone instead of away from the stone.
Only later and with much more scrapes on knee, you realised you need only to be aware of the rest of the path and not on the stone that you never hit the stone.

The fear of being bitten is not likely to project the fear of being bitten by your bird.
I think more likely an image of being bitten by the bird is projected, maybe together with the emotion fear.
Which might well create fear in the bird and which is always very bad. With the image of biting might trigger the birdie to go chomping.

Your husband might be fearful in his mind of birdie chomping on you.
Which might sadly be the trigger.

Go try to think other thoughts.
And not like the early cyclist, do not think of the stone trying not to hit that stone.
Think of the rest of the path, and the beauty the path will unfold before you.

That might be a better path to try, even if to write back that that did not work.

 

[AvianNyck]

I have read through this whole thread, I first have to say its amazing that you can have a relationship like you do with a free flight bird, and your Amigo is amazingly beautiful!
there is a lot of respectable advice here in these pages, all of which could work, I truly think a lot depends on the individual bird. I know what you went through is tough, my mother has a M2 that still to this day cannot stand my sister, he wasn't always an attack bird tward her but it started with nipping. However this same M2 Loves me to death....... he just does not prefer women past my mother, she is his, and I am his....... to this day i will not understand this. I got to where I didn't try to understand I took a different road, I focused on building my relationship with him and making it stronger, my sister on the other hand was not even willing to work with it. I have lived 1800 miles away now, and when I am back visiting for holidays, or other get togethers, He still loves me, But I NEVER approached him with fear like my sister had. This is what I think started the dis-like for my sister. I am VERY GLAD you are making GREAT progress, No matter how large or small, and you are not giving up on Amigo. You deserve More props for this then I can give............ Here is to hearing about years of love, respect, and amazing progress, you Mare are an amazing person............. Keep up the amazing work! I just started here and I am glad you chose to stay. Its threads like these that Help those of us who plan to have a large feathered family member one day, learn all they can! KUDO'S to you!

 

[Mare]

Thank you Nyck! Amigo was a rough first bird. We all learned together on how to get along. He was not like moving your cousin into your house, more like an alien from outer space! We are now family, learning boundaries as we go and then, finally accepting them.

I think you are right, in saying, to never approach your bird with fear. They can feel it and will feed off of it, if they are an aggressive sort. I'm happy to hear that this bird is comfortable with you.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[ShirleyBird]

I'm STILL happy you stayed..lol...just checking for updates...I continue to wish your family nothing but success.

 

[Mrcrowley]

Honestly my friend it is great As long as amigo is not threatened or in harms way. Most people love not only there birds but our fellow AA members as well and we do get emotional about the way others treat there birds . We are learning if you can not say Anything helpful don'say it. I think if Amigo is happy and you treat him well all the power to both of you you Are letting him have the best of both worlds it is almost like letting our teenagers leave home you have to let them live and learn make mistakes but like you with Amigo always welcome them home.

 

[KatherinesBirds]

Don't quit! We are all free to post our opinions in a polite manner. You are a valuable member.

 

[KatherinesBirds]

I'm glad that you are still here.

 

[allison]

A few years ago I saw Chris Shank speak about her experience with free-flying her cockatoos at Cockatoo Downs. - COCKATOO DOWNS - Home Ever since then I wish I could be brave enough to do something like that in the future. Obviously not with my parrotlets but if I had a larger bird. Chris said that she has only lost one bird to a hawk, or at least that was the case several years ago when I saw her. I think she has like 20+ birds that free fly daily and have flown for years and years. I think cockatoos are especially difficult to keep happy and mentally stimulated so if him free-flying can keep him happy, even if (god forbid) something happened to him at least he would die happy and doing what he was meant to do.
Free-flying birds has been pretty controversial. I think that if you are aware of the dangers then nobody has the right to judge you for letting him fly outside. I agree that if people are bothered by it then they should just stay away from your threads.