plushbytes
Meeting neighbors
- Joined
- 12/3/19
- Messages
- 36
Hi everyone, I've been a long time lurker but this is my first post.
I am in complete shock right now. My beloved Hazel has passed. He was a seemingly healthy 3.5 year old green cheek conure who crossed the rainbow bridge this late afternoon. It was an unexpected passing. He showed no signs of sickness or un-wellness, and he waited until I left the room before he passed.
I keep my 3 birds in my bedroom. I have a 6 year old budgie called Kazoo, a young 1.5 year old disabled green cheek conure called Yoshi, and used to have a 3.5 year old green cheek conure named Hazel. I normally stay on my laptop in my room and play with my birdies while working on schoolwork or playing video games with my boyfriend. For the past few days, I have moved my laptop to the kitchen so I can look at the wild birds outside. Right now is the great sand crane migration where I live so I'm always trying to spot them.
My dad was picking me up after work today to go Christmas shopping for the family and when I went into my room to grab my laptop bag, that's when I noticed that Hazel was laying at the bottom of his cage. On very rare occasions, Hazel will go to the bottom and play with some bell-toys that roll around and he loved to chase them and fling them around. But this time he was laying sideways at an awkward position with one of his legs sticking straight out. I already knew at this point he has passed. He was completely fine this morning when I had turned the lights on at 9am and said good morning to them and when I went in my room later to grab a textbook. At this point I was calling his name over and over again and eventually I was just screaming his name and hyperventilating. I ran from my room and out to the living room to call my mom at work and tell her that Hazel had passed. My 16 year old brother heard me freaking out and already assumed what had happened.
I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. It was hard to process what happened. I gently lifted his body out of the cage and cupped him in my hands and sobbed. He didn't have any cuts, scratches, blocked vents, or anything else. I mostly just remember the position he was stiff in and his half-opened glossy eyes. I don't even remember if he was cold or warm when I cradled him because the panic I was in made my hands feel hot. I checked his cage for any signs that would've helped me but I found nothing. No dangerous toys, no blood, no weird droppings, and no items that looked like they were ingested other than his pellets or clean water. I held his body for about 1.5 hours just petting his feathers. The sight of his passed body didn't upset me, it comforts me to hold him and mourn for some reason. I feel like it is his "shell" he left behind. I talked with my mom in the living room when she got home about his unexpected death and how much of a happy birdie he was. He passed at only 3.5 years with no signs of sickness. This was a bird that was supposed to be with me for decades. He was with me when I was severely depressed and gave me a reason to get out of bed and motivate myself. It wasn't supposed to end this way.
The only person home was me and my brother (my mom was at work). We have completed adjusted our lifestyle because we know birds are incredibly sensitive to scents so we didn't use any today. Something like that would've killed all my birds. After discussing my options with my mom, we decided to get him a necropsy for the safety of our own birds, for my closure, and for better avian veterinary science. We did some quick research and found a place that provides a service like that. I gently wrapped his body up in paper towel and taped the loose corners, placed his body in a ziploc bag, and stored him in the refrigerator (NOT the freezer). He will be taken tomorrow at 2:45pm and I will update this post when we get results (about 10 days).
My heart feels so heavy right now. None of my birds were really bonded to each other, but they loved singing to each other through their cages. I showed Kazoo Hazel's body from a distance but I don't think he understands. I then showed Yoshi, and it was heartbreaking. He ran to the front of the cage expecting to see Hazel, and then he lowered his head and puffed up all his head feathers, and that's when I think he knew. I have been crying in random bursts the past few hours and have a severe headache from crying. I removed Hazels cage from my room into the garage and cleaned up the area under his cage just in case he had an illness that would spread to my flock. I feel like a bad bird owner because he had such a short life. He came from a very reputable breeder in my area. I feel like a bad bird owner for not being there with him while he passed. I understand that birds hide their illness as long as possible, so I think he waited until I was out of the room. It brings me some comfort to know he passed on the area of other birds, something I know he loves. But I believe being a good bird owner means being prepared for death, even if it is unexpected. I just wish I could cradle his body more but I understand he needs to be preserved for accurate lab testing. My room won't be the same anymore, there's one less bird cage in there and it feels so empty. I'm so torn on feeling like a bad bird owner because of his short life, but I know there was absolutely no warning signs or anything I could do. I just hope whatever happened, it happened quick for him. My poor baby is gone and it doesn't feel real. I have finals week next week for college, and I'm just going to push through and then give myself time to grieve since I don't have any right now.
Sorry for the long post. I don't have many people to talk to about this. I hope this is the right place to express my feelings. He is in a better place now and no longer suffering, and that's all I want. <3
I am in complete shock right now. My beloved Hazel has passed. He was a seemingly healthy 3.5 year old green cheek conure who crossed the rainbow bridge this late afternoon. It was an unexpected passing. He showed no signs of sickness or un-wellness, and he waited until I left the room before he passed.
I keep my 3 birds in my bedroom. I have a 6 year old budgie called Kazoo, a young 1.5 year old disabled green cheek conure called Yoshi, and used to have a 3.5 year old green cheek conure named Hazel. I normally stay on my laptop in my room and play with my birdies while working on schoolwork or playing video games with my boyfriend. For the past few days, I have moved my laptop to the kitchen so I can look at the wild birds outside. Right now is the great sand crane migration where I live so I'm always trying to spot them.
My dad was picking me up after work today to go Christmas shopping for the family and when I went into my room to grab my laptop bag, that's when I noticed that Hazel was laying at the bottom of his cage. On very rare occasions, Hazel will go to the bottom and play with some bell-toys that roll around and he loved to chase them and fling them around. But this time he was laying sideways at an awkward position with one of his legs sticking straight out. I already knew at this point he has passed. He was completely fine this morning when I had turned the lights on at 9am and said good morning to them and when I went in my room later to grab a textbook. At this point I was calling his name over and over again and eventually I was just screaming his name and hyperventilating. I ran from my room and out to the living room to call my mom at work and tell her that Hazel had passed. My 16 year old brother heard me freaking out and already assumed what had happened.
I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. It was hard to process what happened. I gently lifted his body out of the cage and cupped him in my hands and sobbed. He didn't have any cuts, scratches, blocked vents, or anything else. I mostly just remember the position he was stiff in and his half-opened glossy eyes. I don't even remember if he was cold or warm when I cradled him because the panic I was in made my hands feel hot. I checked his cage for any signs that would've helped me but I found nothing. No dangerous toys, no blood, no weird droppings, and no items that looked like they were ingested other than his pellets or clean water. I held his body for about 1.5 hours just petting his feathers. The sight of his passed body didn't upset me, it comforts me to hold him and mourn for some reason. I feel like it is his "shell" he left behind. I talked with my mom in the living room when she got home about his unexpected death and how much of a happy birdie he was. He passed at only 3.5 years with no signs of sickness. This was a bird that was supposed to be with me for decades. He was with me when I was severely depressed and gave me a reason to get out of bed and motivate myself. It wasn't supposed to end this way.
The only person home was me and my brother (my mom was at work). We have completed adjusted our lifestyle because we know birds are incredibly sensitive to scents so we didn't use any today. Something like that would've killed all my birds. After discussing my options with my mom, we decided to get him a necropsy for the safety of our own birds, for my closure, and for better avian veterinary science. We did some quick research and found a place that provides a service like that. I gently wrapped his body up in paper towel and taped the loose corners, placed his body in a ziploc bag, and stored him in the refrigerator (NOT the freezer). He will be taken tomorrow at 2:45pm and I will update this post when we get results (about 10 days).
My heart feels so heavy right now. None of my birds were really bonded to each other, but they loved singing to each other through their cages. I showed Kazoo Hazel's body from a distance but I don't think he understands. I then showed Yoshi, and it was heartbreaking. He ran to the front of the cage expecting to see Hazel, and then he lowered his head and puffed up all his head feathers, and that's when I think he knew. I have been crying in random bursts the past few hours and have a severe headache from crying. I removed Hazels cage from my room into the garage and cleaned up the area under his cage just in case he had an illness that would spread to my flock. I feel like a bad bird owner because he had such a short life. He came from a very reputable breeder in my area. I feel like a bad bird owner for not being there with him while he passed. I understand that birds hide their illness as long as possible, so I think he waited until I was out of the room. It brings me some comfort to know he passed on the area of other birds, something I know he loves. But I believe being a good bird owner means being prepared for death, even if it is unexpected. I just wish I could cradle his body more but I understand he needs to be preserved for accurate lab testing. My room won't be the same anymore, there's one less bird cage in there and it feels so empty. I'm so torn on feeling like a bad bird owner because of his short life, but I know there was absolutely no warning signs or anything I could do. I just hope whatever happened, it happened quick for him. My poor baby is gone and it doesn't feel real. I have finals week next week for college, and I'm just going to push through and then give myself time to grieve since I don't have any right now.
Sorry for the long post. I don't have many people to talk to about this. I hope this is the right place to express my feelings. He is in a better place now and no longer suffering, and that's all I want. <3
