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Having a relationship with untamed birds

Khizz

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I just thought I'd put together a few tips for ways to enjoy a positive relationship with your 'untame' birds based in my own experience!

  1. Stop comparing your birds to social media birds. Alex, Dominic and Merle are all incredibly cute and very friendly birds, but they aren't a picture of how these birds naturally are as pets. Your birds shouldn't be held to such standards, or you will always be disappointed.
  2. Bathtime! If your bird likes showers as much as mine do, you can have a good laugh watching them bathe and have fun. Mine get angry if you stop!
  3. Design/create toys and enrichment activities. Just be sure you do your research on bird-safe materials. It's so rewarding to see your bird busy themselves with something you created.
  4. Let them out! Many people are scared of letting their untamed bird out because the question is, how can you get them back in? The first few times it can be difficult to get them back in, but eventually you learn your own tricks from knowing your birds' behavior. Birds need to fly around, and watching them soar around and exploring is amazing!
  5. Talk to them. They listen! They might not want to come over to you but they sure love being talked to or sung to!
  6. Try some form of training. If you can't get them to do target training, there's other things you can do just by establishing a routine. Everytime I sit at my desk near their cage, Mabel scuttles over looking for a treat because everytime I sit down I offer her some millet. I give her small pieces and she lets me gently touch her head. It's a very small bonding experience we have and I love it. Its also highly impractical when I'm trying to type one-handed :laughing2:
  7. Spend time just hanging out. Just having them around while you watch TV or read a book is also a form of bonding, they can watch you without feeling that you are expecting something from them. It's not always good to be constantly forcing contact with them.
  8. Finally...lower your expectations! Don't ever use the phrase 'when they are tame..." because hey, maybe they will never be tame? It's highly likely! Are you willing to still put in the time, love them and make them a member of your family regardless of their lack of interest in you? Just take every step as it comes, and enjoy the time with your birds now!
Hope this is helpful to somebody :)
 

Ali

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@Khizz thank you so much!

This is some vert helpful information, and highlights exactly what I want to achieve with the parrotlets (not tame as such, but to have a bond and trust)

Thank you, Ali
 

Zara

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I like this thread, I will put it in my bookmarks for reference :)

I would like to add;


-Respect your birds boundaries. Don´t push too much to try teaching your birds to step up or to come out of their cage. Let them do things at their own pace.

-Don´t discriminate. If you have a couple of birds (or more) and one is not ¨tame¨, don´t treat them any less. Offer the same amount of out of cage time, even if they choose to sit in their cage with the door open. Offer new toys when the others get new toys. Sit and talk to the bird at the cage or offer treats, just as you would the other birds. Treat them less and you will get less from them.

-Daily interactions. Don´t skip a day. Don´t let a day go by where you don´t talk to them (or someone else if you are away).

-Prepare for bites. An ¨untame¨ bird can sometimes be a bitey bird. If you accidently overstep a boundary can also make your bird want to bite. Always be alert so that you can pull back and avoid those bites. Most birds will tell you with their body language ¨I´m not happy right now¨, or ¨You´re pushing it human!¨, it is important to back off, but as we learn our birds body language, especially a newer bird owner, a sign may be overlooked and in these circumstances, we must pull away swiftly.
 

mak

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Such wonderful pointers!
Stop comparing your birds to social media birds.
This is great for life in general. Never compare yourself or your birds to others you see on social media. Not everyone has the same space, finances, schedule, family situation etc. etc. It's wonderful to learn from experienced bird owners and get amazing advice, tips, and tricks. But not everything that works for one person / bird will work for another.
 

Khizz

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Great writeup @Khizz

That's exactly what I've done and I've been fully accepted into their flock. Nothing finer than watching birbs being birbs.
Yeah I was thinking of you for that one! I love watching them just go around and it's so nice to consider myself a member of their flock.

I like this thread, I will put it in my bookmarks for reference :)

I would like to add;

-Respect your birds boundaries. Don´t push too much to try teaching your birds to step up or to come out of their cage. Let them do things at their own pace.

-Don´t discriminate. If you have a couple of birds (or more) and one is not ¨tame¨, don´t treat them any less. Offer the same amount of out of cage time, even if they choose to sit in their cage with the door open. Offer new toys when the others get new toys. Sit and talk to the bird at the cage or offer treats, just as you would the other birds. Treat them less and you will get less from them.

-Daily interactions. Don´t skip a day. Don´t let a day go by where you don´t talk to them (or someone else if you are away).

-Prepare for bites. An ¨untame¨ bird can sometimes be a bitey bird. If you accidently overstep a boundary can also make your bird want to bite. Always be alert so that you can pull back and avoid those bites. Most birds will tell you with their body language ¨I´m not happy right now¨, or ¨You´re pushing it human!¨, it is important to back off, but as we learn our birds body language, especially a newer bird owner, a sign may be overlooked and in these circumstances, we must pull away swiftly.
Definitely! Their boundaries are so important. Its actually easy to read birds' body language when it comes to fear or hostility. Also sometimes when they just aren't too interested in what you are trying to do sometimes it's just best to drop it and try again another time.

Such wonderful pointers!

This is great for life in general. Never compare yourself or your birds to others you see on social media. Not everyone has the same space, finances, schedule, family situation etc. etc. It's wonderful to learn from experienced bird owners and get amazing advice, tips, and tricks. But not everything that works for one person / bird will work for another.
Sure, I know how easy it is to compare yourself and your achievements to somebody else's. I don't show all aspects of my life, and what I do is usually the positive aspects. To an outsider that can certainly look like everything is going great, when it isn't!

And I'm sure what many bird owners post on social media isn't a good representation of their everyday behaviour. A cute cuddly cockatoo isn't going to be that cute and cuddly all the time, but they aren't gonna post vids of their tantrums!
 

fashionfobie

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My addon tip, it goes with the boundaries category! :)

Understand your bird's species personal needs for preening. Not all birds require help with pins.

You can have a great relationship without head or body touch!
 

tka

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I love this - can it be a sticky?

Not comparing your birds to anyone else's - or even to your other birds, past or present - is so important. It's so easy to provide a highly edited highlights reel of our birds being cute and interactive and affectionate, and to edit out the bits that are less cute. I know I'm guilty of doing this as much as anyone.

And yes to boundaries and yes to dropping things and trying when your birds are more interested. Not everything will be done when you want it! Your bird will have their own ideas about when they want to play and nap and train, and you have to listen to them.
 

annoellyn

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Yes I love this post. It's so disheartening to see people post who are adopting or buying birds with the expectation that they WILL be able to cuddle and pet their bird all the time and any less means failure.

But I was definitely in that boat. Luckily for me, Jupiter taught me that I don't even want a velcro bird, honestly, it wouldn't be fair to her to want my attention all the time, I couldn't possibly give that to her. What I do want is an emotionally healthy birdy who accepts me as a flock member! Where we interact based on respect.

I used to get discouraged that Jupiter wasn't very handsy. But we have so many other ways to hang out and have fun. She does enjoy being near me, I know this because she gets excited when I get home! She flies to me when I leave the room! She gets my attention when she wants stuff (mainly food!).
 

Zara

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Khizz

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Yes I love this post. It's so disheartening to see people post who are adopting or buying birds with the expectation that they WILL be able to cuddle and pet their bird all the time and any less means failure.

But I was definitely in that boat. Luckily for me, Jupiter taught me that I don't even want a velcro bird, honestly, it wouldn't be fair to her to want my attention all the time, I couldn't possibly give that to her. What I do want is an emotionally healthy birdy who accepts me as a flock member! Where we interact based on respect.

I used to get discouraged that Jupiter wasn't very handsy. But we have so many other ways to hang out and have fun. She does enjoy being near me, I know this because she gets excited when I get home! She flies to me when I leave the room! She gets my attention when she wants stuff (mainly food!).
This is true, just because a bird isn't "hands on" doesn't mean they don't show their love for you! I know Jeff is fond of me because he chirps excitedly when I come home, and he sings and heart wings directly at me (my response is to tell him to stop being such a flirt!) Mabel (and Jeff too) always comes to the nearest perch to say hello and chirp at me. Also I know they are comfortable enough with my presence when I'm stood near them outside of the cage and they preen or nap.

So another point could be to learn how your bird shows their love for you and take joy from that, no matter how small!
 

annoellyn

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This is true, just because a bird isn't "hands on" doesn't mean they don't show their love for you! I know Jeff is fond of me because he chirps excitedly when I come home, and he sings and heart wings directly at me (my response is to tell him to stop being such a flirt!) Mabel (and Jeff too) always comes to the nearest perch to say hello and chirp at me. Also I know they are comfortable enough with my presence when I'm stood near them outside of the cage and they preen or nap.

So another point could be to learn how your bird shows their love for you and take joy from that, no matter how small!
Jupiter also chirps excitedly when I come home, it's the best ♥♥
 

Tiel Feathers

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Awesome points! Every new bird owner should read this thread. So many people have unrealistic expectations for their bird, and totally overlook how they can be bonding in other ways.
 

Khizz

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Jupiter also chirps excitedly when I come home, it's the best ♥♥
I'm not sure if I'm just reading more into it, but I swear he kinda chirps "Jeffrey" at me :laughing2: He definitely mimics the intonation I use when I see him, it's so cute! He does it to say good morning as well! :heart:
 

clarousel

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This thread is so helpful and I hope it becomes a sticky!

@Khizz just wondering, how do you go about cleaning Mabel and Jeff's cage? I know you wrote that you do let untamed birds out and figure out how to get them back in, but how did you manage the first few times?

Soaking up as much info as possible from the forum for future birbs :geek:
 

Khizz

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@Khizz just wondering, how do you go about cleaning Mabel and Jeff's cage?
I have a cage that has a bottom that pulls out. I take that out and clean it separately. The rest is a bit trickier, I have to kind of do it round them, if that makes sense? So the actual cage I can clean while they are in it (or ideally when they are outside) and they just eye me up suspiciously from a corner. The toys/perches I remove and clean in small "batches". So for example, one day I'll do their wooden perches, the next their rope toys etc.

It seems like a bit of work but actually I'm doing things gradually, so they aren't forced to come out and stay out while I clean everything :)

I know you wrote that you do let untamed birds out and figure out how to get them back in, but how did you manage the first few times?
The first time they were out was chaotic. The reason for the chaos wasn't them, it was me. I was worried about them not going in, I didn't want to leave them out on their own, they kept flying into the windows. So I was super stressed out. However, the following changes made it easier for me to let them out (they are out pretty much the whole day when somebody's home now):
  • Ribbons hanging on the windows to stop them flying into them
  • When they needed to go back in I simply put some millet in the cage and left them alone in the room. They wouldn't go in with me watching. This helped the most!
  • My husband reminded me to stay calm! The stress I felt transferred to the birds and put them on high alert! Thus making it worse!
  • Plenty of time. I aimed to try getting them back in 45 mins before I had to leave.
  • A safe environment if they were to stay out and refuse to go back in. I could technically leave them out for a short while and something would be unlikely to happen. I certainly don't do this, but it's comforting as a "worst case scenario".
 

clarousel

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I have a cage that has a bottom that pulls out. I take that out and clean it separately. The rest is a bit trickier, I have to kind of do it round them, if that makes sense? So the actual cage I can clean while they are in it (or ideally when they are outside) and they just eye me up suspiciously from a corner.
Yes it makes sense! They don't freak out with your hands going in and out of the cage?

Those tips are great! Totally agree with birds being able to sense your energy. I find it funny and amusing what they get up to when humans aren't watching :laughing2:

Thank you so much for sharing and explaining!
 

Khizz

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They don't freak out with your hands going in and out of the cage?
Luckily not! But it did take some training for that. I would sometimes just sit by their cage and play on my phone and put my hand on the bars far away from them. Then the next step was to place the hand closer inside each time. I also take it really slowly when I'm getting anything from inside, I let them first get away, then don't make any sudden movements or anything. So that works for me!
 

Lady Jane

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Great wisdom is with our experienced bird people. Thanks for taking the time to do this.
 
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