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Felicia and her Heart

Perriewinkle

Rollerblading along the road
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I posted last week in candlelight lane, but this is where I feel this belongs.

A lot has happened since I last visited the forum, I've moved into my own house and Felicia and I have continued to grow our bond.

Felicia is a Craigslist bird. I'm reasonably certain everything is documented on this forum from before Felicia to after. I really got lucky with her. She trusted so freely, bonded so closely and easily.

The vets believe that she has heart failure. We aren't doing any diagnostic tests because any amount of stress or excitement causes her to almost pass out. She throws her wings out, panting heavy, and then fights to not close her eyes and fall over. I rushed her to the VCA ER on 11/1/19.. she stayed for 3 days. They didn't think she'd make it 5 hours. 10/31 i woke up for work and noticed she was fluffed up, but our new house was still set at 65 degrees.. I turned the heat up to 67, gave her striches, snuggled a bit and then went to work. She.. had normal reactions. I got home a little later than normal on the 1st.. and she was eating and drinking. I went to change clothes and I heard a commotion and a noise of her falling.. I rushed to the cage and she was spread wings, breathing hard, fluffed up, and her vocalizations had changed pitch. Off to the ER we went.

I've had her home for a week. She had a follow up appointment at brook falls. Turns out the vet was her overnight vet. Even with meds, there had been no improvement of her breathing but there was less liquid in her abdomen. I got lucky in that after restraint.. Felicia had a passing out spell infront of the vet, which she hadn't seen in the ER.

The decision has been made that just because we can, doesn't mean we should. I will continue to offer Felicia the diuretic and anti inflammatory medication that she was sent home with.. but there will be no forcing her as each time she is toweled and held for meds she has a passing out spell after. When she goes down hill.. maybe a week.. or a month.. or 2 days.. I will bring her in to be euthanized. In the meantime, I am going to love on her and enjoy her company and hopefully give her great last days instead of fighting her every one of them and causing undue stress on a heart that no longer beats, only rattles.

I have not come to this easily or lightly, but further tests.. even bloodwork will cause stress that she might not make it through.

I will continue to post pictures here and there will be no post elsewhere when everything is said and done. These first pictures are from Sunday Nov. 3rd. It was her first day home after the ER. She's sitting on my chest.

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Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
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I’m lost for words :sadhug2:

You have all my best wishes and also my total support as I believe you are doing what is best for Felicia and I can tell by your writing that you love her whole heartedly and unconditionally :heart: I’m so very sorry for what you both have to experience. You are both very lucky to have each other and to be able spend this time together loving on each other :sadhug2::sadhug2:
 

SwedeBird

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Oooh, feel so sorry reading this, it´s so damn hard when one´s feathered best friend is ill:sad10:

I´m sure you´re doing what´s best for her and that when the time comes to say goodbye you will know you did the right thing:sadhug:
 

faislaq

I have a macaw and don't post enough photos
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Poor Felicia :( and poor you, too. :sadhug2: I'm glad you have a little more time with her to say your goodbyes at least. She may not have had the best start in life, but she has you to now; she is in loving hands.
 

Peachfaced

The Peachy Inkpress
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I am so sorry to hear all of this. I know this situation sucks, but I hope you two can enjoy your time together as much as possible. Big hugs to both of you.
 

Perriewinkle

Rollerblading along the road
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I can confirm. She couldn't roost anymore come Saturday afternoon. She had her wings down, you could hear her breathing.. she was crying out and was glued to me. She barely ate and refused water in any form all day.. I spent the day loving her and doing all the naughty things they tell you not to do with a parrot.. after our nap.. I had to carry her in my hand.. her feet on the heel of my hand and her fully body laid out in my hand.. I knew it was time.. i knew most of the day.
The ER was prepared for her, and I said goodbye around 8 pm Saturday night. They cut her band and I have it. I'll have her ashes in about another week. I have been reasonably at peace with the decision.. her cage sits empty and I still have the need to call out to her when I wake and when I get home.
She taught me how to love differently. How to calm my body and mind to be with her. Even the dogs lay by her cage now.. she is missed.
 

Monica

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So sorry for your loss. Indeed, she was well loved and it shows in the way you cared for her. Know that she's at peace now.
 

Dartman

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When your ready give another deserving bird your love. She was with you to the end and knew she was loved.
 

Sodapop&Co.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. :sorrow::sadhug2: Your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes... You loved her very much and I'm sure she loved you too. She had a good life with you <3 I hope you find peace :heart:
 

tka

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I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave her a beautiful life full of love and adventure - I've always enjoyed the photos of your trips together. It was so clear how much you trusted and adored each other. Thank you for doing right by her, and for giving her a peaceful death when she was too sick to go on.
 

Cat The Great

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I am so sorry for your loss. :sadhug2::crycry:
 

Begone

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This is so sad. :( To read about your last day tells how much she loved and trusted you.
Felicia will always have a piece of your heart, just like Eloy has a piece of mine. ♥
I still talk to him when I'm running in the forest. I thought that would pass, but I need to do that because that keeps him alive, and I need him in my life.
So continue talking with Felicia. It's not wrong if it feels better for you.
And you did the right thing, don't doubt about that.

Again, I'm so sorry.:bighug:
If you need to talk, please PM me.
 
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