Does my bird hate me

[hobiased]

Hello!

I've had four budgies for the past months, none of them is hand tamed but they all don't fear me anymore, which means head rubs and angry babies when I'm giving attention to someone else. They are great, and I love them immensely.

Two days ago I had a trip to the petshop to buy some of those food sticks I came across two lovely cockatiels walking around the store. One of them was Lestat, who I couldn't help but buy because dang is he pretty and (at first sight) sweet.

My guess is that he isn't used to the house yet (it's been just two days!!), because he's almost all the time in exploring mode, walking around the top of his cage, my desk and pretty much every single place he can reach to stand on. He will take seeds from my hand sometimes and doesn't have the fly the heck away reflex when I approach him, but he doesn't like my hand to be around him. He bites and hisses, and if you're too pushy (like my dad is) he will go inside his cage and just sit there with an angry face (probably cursing my dad out).

I don't know how to get him to trust me in a way that won't be stressful for him, maybe I just have to wait until he's used to me giving him food and water and not trying to eat his juicy feathered meat, but maybe I'm doing something very wrong.

Any help is welcome! Very sorry if I got the thread in the wrong place or something.

 

[sunnysmom]

Hi. I don't believe birds hate . Your bird just hasn't learned to trust you yet. Hands can be scary . Just spend time with him. Talk to him. Hang out. Take things at his pace. You can take a piece of millet spray and try to hand feed him it. But I might wait a few days still before even doing that.

 

[Wasabisaurus]

Time. You need to give him time to settle in. Birds perceive time a lot differently than we do. Two months is like two days. You are making progress, but limit hand contact when you can. I would put money on it that some brats or other idiots have stuck their fingers in his cage at the pet store and scared him.

Speak softly and sweetly to him. Your dad needs to knock it off. I know that’s going to be hard to get him to do that. Explain that the bird is stressed out by too much content and scared of hands sometimes. The bird is for sure scared of being grabbed and being grabbed at. It’s only two days! Lestat does not want contact with your dad yet. Dad needs to gain the bird’s trust first. No hands for now. Dad can speak softly and sweetly and if the bird likes millet, dad can offer that to him through the cage and he should wait a while to do that. As in, a couple weeks, at the VERY LEAST.

My first tiel was so traumatized by somebody (probably somebody’s brats) that he was taken to the animal shelter because he was not friendly. He never stopped resenting me until the very end of his life. He was probably taken to the animal shelter because someone hurt him. I had him for probably 15 years or so. He was a good boy, even though he never wanted touch and barely tolerated social interaction. He mostly opened his beak and hissed, but that was OK.

 

[Shade]

I agree with Wasabisaurus, you need to give the relationship some time. Everything seems very new for him and he needs some time to get used to the new environment and to you. As well, birds that end up in pet stores are not always accustomed to people/hands, and that may be why it is reacting the way it is around hands. Slow steps are needed to get him used to having hands close by.

 

[LSA]

I'm a firm believer in quarantine because it serves several purposes. Not only is everyone safe from disease, it gives the new bird a chance to learn your family and your family to get familiar with them.

The new bird gets familiar by call with your other birds before the stress of being physically near them. Actually, that often increases their curiosity and desire as well as a bit of reassurance they're not alone.

Just remember, it's only been a short time and "OMG, this giant predator wants to eat me and I'm helpless here."

 

[cassiesdad]

Welcome to the Avenue...and congrats on your new addition.

I don't believe birds hate .

I agree completely. It's the same when people say, "That bird's a biter." Birds don't hate, and they don't wake up in the morning thinking, "I'm going to bite everybody I see today"...there are reasons you see hissing and biting.

Lestat is very unsure of everything right now...strange places, strangers, and scary stuff is going on all around him. All these factors are leading to a lot of stress, which WILL make him react by hissing and biting.

You're right at the beginning of your relationship with Lestat...patience, patience, patience is what's needed now. Calm, measured conversation with him...slow movements of your hands...and a quiet environment will help convince him that he's in a safe place now.

f you're too pushy (like my dad is)

You MUST tell your Dad to BACK OFF of Lestat...I can't be too insistent on that...all your work with him will be undone by your Dad if he continues being pushy with him.

 

[geff]

Birds are basically a prey species , and as such is ingrained into the way they act and react.
To their way of thinking everything going to eat them.
You have to allow them to adjust, and realise you are not a threat, as they need time to become a flock member with you, and you them.
Bonding is a natural process between most animals including "us" .
So take time to allow trust to build between you both.
Patience is always necessary with all living things that enter our lives.
Good luck for the future the benefits shall show in the end.

 

[SandraK]

Is it possible that he was "grabbed" at the pet store and that fear of hands has transferred to you as his new owner through no fault of your own. Plus as you said, Lestat has only been with you for a couple of days.

I'm not saying this will be your case but some of my older adopted birds took over a year to really settle in. The tiels have usually been the more easy going ones but I have 1 bonded pair where he'll step up & fly to me but doesn't like being petted. His OH doesn't want anything to do with hands but she has a fatty tumor on one wing and has been seen by vets and had meds applied to her wing which she sometimes picks at, so I can understand why she doesn't like hands. In spite of that, all she does is go through the "I'm a dangerous tiel and will rip your jugular open" posturing w/hissing, lunging & nibble attacks. Even then, when I do have to hold her she doesn't bite.

You and your dad (and family) will have to give Lestat more time and a little space to get used to your home. If there are any young children in your house or who will likely visit, I'd suggest covering the back of the cage he's in so he feels like his back is covered BUT also tell the young kids NOT to get to close or stick fingers in the cage.

 

[LSA]

. I don't believe birds hate .

but that was OK.

Is it possible that he was "grabbed" at the pet store and that fear of hands has transferred to you as his new owner through no fault of your own.

I have a bird that I regularly wonder if he hates me. An AA member reminded me that abused birds bring years of abuse with them. Many times my brain remembered that but forgot to remind my heart this time.

Whether LeStat ever is cuddly won't matter, you'll still love him and he, you. I'm NOT saying ever give up, I am saying every bird has his own special way of showing love and trust.

Most importantly, like everyone has said, it takes time. To Lestat, your dad is just another kid sticking fingers in his SAFE place and abusing him. Remind your dad that trust takes time and sometimes distance. When he walks by, have your dad drop a treat in his bowl. Soon LeStat will equate your dad with something good.

 

[hobiased]

Thanks to all of you for the kind tips! I'll be sure to go on Lestat's time and call out my dad on being too hard on him.

Some things I noticed this morning is that he hisses at me but doesn't bite, just gives me an angry beak-slap, the only one he did bit was my dad (I guess we all know why). I got worried on him being afraid of us (specially me) because he's supposedly hand tamed, his cage has those door perches and he knows how to open it and hAtEs being inside (which I can understand 100%) (also, while I'm writing this, he's in my desk trying to eat my mousepad very close to my arm). I guess the answer truly is wait for him to get used to the big hairless mammals he's now living with and respect him. Oh! And also a quick question is he has no chewing toys yet and sometimes chews the newspaper on the bottom of the cage, should I try to make him stop or just let him be? I've seen some people saying it's fine and some saying birds can get sick from eating paper, so I've been trying to make him stop for now.

Thanks again! I'm really happy and hope Lestat will be too.

 

[SandraK]

Where are you in this huge world of ours? Just mean state, nearest city or country - nothing too personal. If you can find these in your area, my tiels love them. straw chinese finger traps - Google Search You can stuff them with crinkle paper (like the type used f/presents) or millet or line them up on a thread/rope and hang it inside Lestat's cage.

 

[hobiased]

I live in Brasil! I'm not sure if I've ever seen these in stores here, but I'll do some local research or buy online if it's the case. Thank you for the tip!

 

[iamwhoiam]

Welcome to AA. Can't add anything regarding Lestat and his behaviors because you have already been given great advice. Did you name him after the Vampire?

 

[LSA]

Did you name him after the Vampire?

Perfect for Halloween!!!

 

[hobiased]

[QUOTE="iamwhoiam, post: 2933231, member: 5821"Did you name him after the Vampire?
[/QUOTE]
Yes!
Lestat (the vampire) was my childhood crush, and since Lestat (the bird) is a whiteface and I think they are very goth-looking I couldn't help it

 

[hrafn]

[QUOTE="iamwhoiam, post: 2933231, member: 5821"Did you name him after the Vampire?
Yes!
Lestat (the vampire) was my childhood crush, and since Lestat (the bird) is a whiteface and I think they are very goth-looking I couldn't help it

Well now you're gonna need a Louis!

 

[Wasabisaurus]

Our cockatiel, Snuggles, loves to chew newspaper. I see nothing wrong with it. He rarely plays with his toys. I put the paper where he can reach to chew it. Black and white newsprint. He is most interested in hanging out close to his neighbor, cockatiel Mr. Peepers - who is in a separate cage.

 

[Wasabisaurus]

Well now you're gonna need a Louis!

And maybe a Claudia.

 

[CeciliaZ]

Welcome! I have nothing more to add - so much helpful advice already given

 

[Revali]

Hello!

I've had four budgies for the past months, none of them is hand tamed but they all don't fear me anymore, which means head rubs and angry babies when I'm giving attention to someone else. They are great, and I love them immensely.

Two days ago I had a trip to the petshop to buy some of those food sticks I came across two lovely cockatiels walking around the store. One of them was Lestat, who I couldn't help but buy because dang is he pretty and (at first sight) sweet.

My guess is that he isn't used to the house yet (it's been just two days!!), because he's almost all the time in exploring mode, walking around the top of his cage, my desk and pretty much every single place he can reach to stand on. He will take seeds from my hand sometimes and doesn't have the fly the heck away reflex when I approach him, but he doesn't like my hand to be around him. He bites and hisses, and if you're too pushy (like my dad is) he will go inside his cage and just sit there with an angry face (probably cursing my dad out).

I don't know how to get him to trust me in a way that won't be stressful for him, maybe I just have to wait until he's used to me giving him food and water and not trying to eat his juicy feathered meat, but maybe I'm doing something very wrong.

Any help is welcome! Very sorry if I got the thread in the wrong place or something.

Give him time and space. If he backs off or hisses give him time. You may want to politely suggest to your father that being pushy towards a bird stresses it out and makes training more difficult. It take almost nothing to scare my little guy. Just work with the bird in a way that's not stressful to him. Give him treats and go slow if you need to that's whats been working for me and I'm new to Birds.