Wow. Y’all.

[alshgs]

my mother in law was able to pet Toby for a good 15 minutes. Nobody in this house has been able to do this in the house.

 

[rockoko]

That’s awesome for her!

 

[Mockinbirdiva]

Love!

 

[Kodigirl210]

Maybe she looks like the former owner? ​

 

[alshgs]

Maybe she looks like the former owner? ​

I think so. Because he took right to her, no hesitation.

 

[Teckechick]

Maybe it will help open him up a bit.

Jenks was the same way. His previous owner had long dark hair and was a chubby girl. I also have long dark hair and am a chubby girl too so we think that is why he took right to me.

 

[alshgs]

She came over here tonight just to mess with Toby. He adores her.

If I can’t strike a bond with him, she’s more than likely going to adopt him.

I’m jealous, but I love watching them interact.

 

[EkkieLu]

That's great!!!

 

[Kodigirl210]

It will work out then. You found Toby a loving home and you’re now prepared to get the Amazon of your bird! So really, you did what you set out to do. Maybe not the way you planned it but I really believe that things do happen like they are supposed to on occasion. And this seems like one of those times

 

[Fergus Mom]

Amazing! And wonderful.

 

[Clueless]

Is your mother-in-law a bird person???

 

[alshgs]

Is your mother-in-law a bird person???

Oh my goodness yes. She’s a huge animal lover, and has always loved birds as well. She had some growing up too

 

[Clueless]

Oh my goodness yes. She’s a huge animal lover, and has always loved birds as well. She had some growing up too

You married well then!

 

[harpersmom]

Is he an african grey? He sure is cute.

 

[WendyN]

 

[alshgs]

Soooooo. He will let me touch him while my mother in law is beside his cage. And I mean I gave him scritches several times. I thought we were getting somewhere. The second she leaves, he bites me when I try to do it

 

[Kodigirl210]

Sorry to hear it. Unfortunately it does make sense though. If he sees your MIL as the same as the previous owner then it means you had “permission” to give him scritches because she was there. Once she’s gone you no longer have it. If your MIL is a frequent guest then it’s unlikely he will bond to you because as far as he’s concerned his hooman is still there somewhere. He may be very confused as to why she isn’t there all the time or he isn’t with her instead of you but he’s not confused over who he’s choosing. And they also have prodigious memories. Your MIL staying away for a month or two won’t change how Toby feels and even if he just hears her voice on the phone it will reinforce that she’s out there. I wish it could be different because it sounds like you really care for Toby but while we can choose to put our hopes & heart out there, they also choose whether they accept them or not.

 

[alshgs]

Sorry to hear it. Unfortunately it does make sense though. If he sees your MIL as the same as the previous owner then it means you had “permission” to give him scritches because she was there. Once she’s gone you no longer have it. If your MIL is a frequent guest then it’s unlikely he will bond to you because as far as he’s concerned his hooman is still there somewhere. He may be very confused as to why she isn’t there all the time or he isn’t with her instead of you but he’s not confused over who he’s choosing. And they also have prodigious memories. Your MIL staying away for a month or two won’t change how Toby feels and even if he just hears her voice on the phone it will reinforce that she’s out there. I wish it could be different because it sounds like you really care for Toby but while we can choose to put our hopes & heart out there, they also choose whether they accept them or not.

I was afraid of that.
And here almost every day to see my kids. So what do I do now? Wait out the 2 months and go from there? She can’t foster him at the moment because of some medical issues with her niece. I feel so defeated.

 

[Kodigirl210]

I’m truly sorry. If she is there almost every day then there is almost no chance of him bonding to you. He’s made it clear that he’s a one bird person. I think that even if she were to do pass over from her to you, he would only accept it as long as she was there or as long as he sensed no affection from you.

My ex’s CAG is the same way. Jake will let you move him around, feed him, clean his cage or any of the other necessary things but he will not allow you to give him scritches or play with or anything that is reserved for a bonded. Their beaks are wicked and they don’t hesitate to use them. I still have scars on my hands 8yrs later.

So I guess it depends on what you want from Toby. If you can be just a caretaker then that would probably work. If you want a bond I would say that’s out. If your MIL can’t take him right now, then maybe you can hold on long enough for her to be able to?

Have you tried having him step up since the MIL was there? Will he still do it for you?

 

[Clueless]

I was afraid of that.
And here almost every day to see my kids. So what do I do now? Wait out the 2 months and go from there? She can’t foster him at the moment because of some medical issues with her niece. I feel so defeated.

She can see your kids every day but not foster Toby??

If Toby lets you love on him when she is there, stay with it.

MC does that with my hubby.