Will I ever have another bird?

[sunnysmom]

It will soon be 6 months since we lost Sunny. It's hard to believe that it's been that long already. I still miss him so much. It's amazing how big a hole a little bird can leave in your heart. And it's hard too to think about another bird. When you've had your perfect bird, how can any other bird compare? And I don't want to compare any birds to Sunny- I know that's not fair to a new bird- but how can you not?

So, that leads me to my dilemma. I literally become paralyzed by indecision when I think about getting another bird. That's why I thought fostering for awhile would be a good solution for me. And I may start fostering for another organization in addition to the animal rescue I'm currently volunteering with. But when it comes to actually adopting, I just don't know what to do. Do I get another tiel? Do I get a different type of parrot that will be less Sunnyish? I really liked my foster lovie, although I didn't feel we were the right adoptive home for him. So for awhile I thought- maybe I should get a love bird? I met an adorable Goffin and Caique this weekend- and I thought maybe I should look more into Goffins or Caiques? There are a bunch of budgies at the rescue and my fiancé really likes the one- so then I think maybe a pair of budgies? Then there are conures, etc. Or do I really just love cockatiels too much to switch? I don't know. And I honestly feel guilty when I see all these birds in need of homes and I'm birdless.

I don't know if there is really an answer. But for all of you who have lost your heart bird, how did you know what to do next?

 

[Chopper]

I haven't lost my heart bird but I think you will know when it is the right time and it is the right bird.

 

[camelotshadow]

I think it would really be nice to have another bird to love. Just take your time & find the right one that tugs on your heartstrings.

Goffins & Cakes are pretty hi strung birds compared to tiels. Are you looking for a challenge or do you want a bird who is more relaxed. Tiels are really one of the mellowest. 2 budgies could be lots of joy but probably not the one on one contact
you might be looking for.

Take your time...

 

[jmfleish]

I think you'll know when the right bird comes along or maybe it's not just one bird. I say just keep trying...you and the bird will know when it's right!

 

[Begone]

But for all of you who have lost your heart bird, how did you know what to do next?

I just follow my heart, it never lies.
I think you are doing the right thing. No one should ever tell you how long and how you should grieve. We must do what is best for us.
As you know I also miss Eloy and crying for the lost of him several times a day. I crying for him and I still talk to him...
At the moment it feels like I will be doing that for the rest of my life.
But I had Akela when I lost Eloy so my only concern was to find a new friend for her ASAP.

I can see you having a tiel again. I don't know why, perhaps it is for all the love when you are talking about them and Sunny.
And when you find a new bird you would not compare them in a bad way. Just because you know that all birds are individual.
I sometimes compare Eloy and Eliy, but that is only when Eliy doing things that Eloy did. I'm not comparing them thinking Eloy was better or something like that.
But Eliy often reminds me of Eloy so perhaps the word compare is wrong.

Continue doing what you are doing. If it feels good to foster again do that. And if it doesn't, don't!

 

[Dartman]

If you like Teils get another, it wont be Sonny but will be similar and you can start figuring each other out and making friends anew. If you've been thinking of another type of bird now would be the time when your ready either way. I really loved Nerd bird, my Maxi Pionus, so when he left me my family felt bad and found Lurch for me, he was nothing like Nerd at all but had similar traits and we were good for each other and I think he grew to love me in his own grumpy way. When he escaped I was heart broken and bummed at my failure then Momazon offered me Dobby because her life changed and she knew I'd make a good dad for him after dealing with grumpy Lurch for 6 years. Dobby is a very gentle and loving mischievous boy, nothing like Nerd or Lurch but similar again. As you know every bird is their own soul and different so it pretty much up to you which direction you go but I'm sure there's enough love in your heart to accept another Fid no matter what kind you get and you both will make a happy life together.

 

[Laurie]

I always research personalities of the species. I have never had a tiel because I always felt that I wanted a more active bird. I could be missing out big time though.

If you are looking at rescues then letting on pick you is the best way to go. Go with a bird that you connect with.

It might be good to figure out what you think you can accommodate size, noise and space wise. If there is a limit to any of this then it would be good to know so you can narrow down the species.

Space, noise and budget considerations will be off the charts different for a pair of budgies or a macaw. Even between a tiel and goffins there would be a big difference.

I am sure you will find a beautiful new friend when the time is right

 

[camelotshadow]

Maybe you can get a grey white face tiel? Won't look alot like Sunny.

 

[Donna turner]

I had a tiel for 17 years and after he died I thought I'd never get another bird. Then one day years later I was looking at birds in a pet store and they had green cheek conures. Next thing I know I'm going to the store just to look at them. One just got to me. She needed a home, I could tell. Sooooo, you guessed it , I got that bird. I could not possibly love her more. I think Boggys spirit lives here and he approves. I love him no less for loving her.

 

[Hankmacaw]

A new bird will be just that a new bird. You would no more compare it to Sunny any more than you would compare one child to another.

It must be lonely without a bird in the house.

 

[Macawnutz]

I needed another Blue and Gold when I lost Greg. I missed his sounds and personality. I have two more BG's now and I love them so much more because they remind me of him sometimes. It's always good memories and they make me smile.

 

[txdyna65]

Ive read your posts on Sunny and others as well and
you have a big heart and I think you will know when its time for another.
I lost my beloved dachshund after 15 years and it took me 4 years before I got another dog.
I got another black dachshund like the one before and like @Hankmacaw said was just that, a new (bird) dog.
He has a different personality and even though I missed my other, my new one filled a hole in
my heart that I never thought could be filled by another. He is 13 now and I cant imagine how it was without him.
I hope it doesnt take you 4 years to get another like I did, I just think you will know when its time

 

[MandaExotics]

I can only sympathize with what you're feeling. When the time comes I doubt I would ever want an IRN or cockatiel again, not that I'm not attached to my birds, but because the memories I have of them would make me sad instead of happy seeing another of the same species again.

I wish you the best in whatever choices you decide to make. Regarding what @camelotshadow suggested, maybe a cockatiel that looks different from Sunny would help. I've had a few cats over the years but I've never had any that were the same color. I know the animals don't care but it is easier for me to have animals that do not look the same.

 

[TWR]

Everyone is different, but when I lost my heart bird, I filled his empty cage about 10 days later with another of the same species. I couldn't imagine my life without one of that species and I absolutely couldn't stand seeing the empty space in the birdroom. I couldn't spend time in the bird room anymore - it hurt too much and that meant that I was giving less of me to my other birds due to my grief. I also felt it honoured my heart bird by giving one of his own species a home. He is a completely different personality to my original bird. He will never replace him, but he sure helped fill a hole, kept me busy and he got me through my loss. Don't get me wrong, I still mourn my loss. I will mourn him forever and I will never forget him. Never stop missing him. But I don't think that, for me at least, the time would have ever felt "right" no matter how long I waited, so I just jumped in feet first.

But everyone is different and if it doesn't feel right for you, then so be it. Do what your heart tells you and wait as long as you need to heal. We all manage our grief differently.

 

[Komandr]

After losing my quaker, Jade, I didn't think I'd want another bird...but then I felt incomplete without one, especially her. I couldn't get another quaker, not yet, though. I knew Maya, my WCP, was the one for now, but maybe in the future I'll get another quaker...

 

[DQTimnehs]

When I lost Pogo, people told me I shouldn't get the same kind again as I would compare them. So I started researching all over. But I realized I chose a Timneh for a reason, for many reasons actually and that was the type (species) that suited me. Then I couldn't stop looking at available birds online.

I got Quack and she couldn't have been more different than Pogo while still sharing the characteristics I was looking for. So I do compare but it's not a bad thing. And Darwin is Pogo's full brother so that made me feel like I had a piece of Pogo back. Darwin is more like Pogo than Quack.

If you feel a tiel is everything you want in a bird then maybe that is more the species for you. Or maybe you would love another species just as much. I love Tiki and Itsy just as much but they aren't my first choice of species.

I would just take it slowly until you meet a bird that you'd really want to bring home. Fostering is a great idea to see what you're getting and then become a foster fail.

I'm glad you started this thread. I've been wondering if you'd get another bird and hoped you would. And didn't want you to disappear.

 

[Princessbella]

It will soon be 6 months since we lost Sunny. It's hard to believe that it's been that long already. I still miss him so much. It's amazing how big a hole a little bird can leave in your heart. And it's hard too to think about another bird. When you've had your perfect bird, how can any other bird compare? And I don't want to compare any birds to Sunny- I know that's not fair to a new bird- but how can you not?

So, that leads me to my dilemma. I literally become paralyzed by indecision when I think about getting another bird. That's why I thought fostering for awhile would be a good solution for me. And I may start fostering for another organization in addition to the animal rescue I'm currently volunteering with. But when it comes to actually adopting, I just don't know what to do. Do I get another tiel? Do I get a different type of parrot that will be less Sunnyish? I really liked my foster lovie, although I didn't feel we were the right adoptive home for him. So for awhile I thought- maybe I should get a love bird? I met an adorable Goffin and Caique this weekend- and I thought maybe I should look more into Goffins or Caiques? There are a bunch of budgies at the rescue and my fiancé really likes the one- so then I think maybe a pair of budgies? Then there are conures, etc. Or do I really just love cockatiels too much to switch? I don't know. And I honestly feel guilty when I see all these birds in need of homes and I'm birdless.

I don't know if there is really an answer. But for all of you who have lost your heart bird, how did you know what to do next?

I was in the same situation as you three years ago. Buddy was truly my heart bird. People still call Bella Buddy because she was that special of a bird. But I am single and living alone so I couldn't bear to look at that empty cage. I put a deposit on Bella two days after I lost Buddy. I decided on another tiel because I had everything in place for one and Bella has helped to heal the hole that Buddy left. It turned out the right thing to do because Bella was at a breeder who lost their furnace in the winter and I was able to bring her home early and was able to hand feed so we bonded and now Miss Thang thinks she owns me. You will find that a tiel would be different than Sunny. You will always remember Sunny but I think that getting another bird will help you heal.

 

[TWR]

When I lost Pogo, people told me I shouldn't get the same kind again as I would compare them. So I started researching all over. But I realized I chose a Timneh for a reason, for many reasons actually and that was the type (species) that suited me.

i agree. My heart bird wasn't a Timneh, but otherwise this applies to me. I loved my heart bird for his own individual personality - but it is also true that his species is just the right species for me.

 

[TWR]

I needed another Blue and Gold when I lost Greg. I missed his sounds and personality. I have two more BG's now and I love them so much more because they remind me of him sometimes. It's always good memories and they make me smile.

Again, different species from my own loss, but I relate to everything @Macawnutz says.

 

[SandraK]

Yes, because you are at loss without a fid in your home. It might not be a tiel but from your posts, in all likelihood, I'm venturing to say it will be or maybe they will be.

Just to cheer you up - a vision of a multiple tiel home ....