Strange but serious question

[cassiesdad]

I've heard whispers in the past about it...and sometimes "off-hand" comments..."You like birds so much, are you (enter your favorite homophobic slur here)?"

Most my adult life, I worked in non-traditional fields for men...nursing and special-ed teaching....which led to even more whispering. I am proud of the work I did, and I never cared what some ingrates had to say.

 

[Atomiklan]

Yeah, I have been single for a number of years (by choice), but of course no one else sees it like that. They see a single guy, who keeps an immaculate house, who prefers to decorate his house (so as to not live in a plain white box lol), who chooses to landscape the yard including adding color with flowers to improve curb appeal, and now who also happens to be interested in parrot and suddenly they think this is my way of telling them I am coming out of the closet? lol

 

[schnitzle]

I can SOOOOO remember in the 80's SERIOUSLY pondering which ear a guy's earring was in!!! It was a novelty, but I was So intrigued! But SERIOUSLY, in the 80's we all dressed like Flamboyant Gay men with all that NEON! We weren't really worried about women yet! LOL! (please realize that I am COMPLETELY poking fun).

Right?! Even though I'm a woman I really wanted to be/dress like Boy George and Prince LOL!

NOW we're all worried... "Let's label THEM so we know who THEY are". I am part African American and part African American and some other things. My kids, both with white fathers, are very fair but don't look white, not African American either. I can see the wheels turning when people look at them. It's funny but sometimes makes me mad... "Why does it make a difference? Why do you have to figure it out?!" Same thing here... WHY?

Some people get so hung up on ethnicity when they can't tell someone's race right away! I remember a coworker who said that when people asked her what her ethnicity was she would just say "Brown" Because yeah, it's kind of insulting and weird. In my case people are always trying to figure out what my partner and my relationship is. "Are you two sisters? "Twins? " or my favorite "Is this your mom?"

 

[tka]

I've heard whispers in the past about it...and sometimes "off-hand" comments..."You like birds so much, are you (enter your favorite homophobic slur here)?"

Most my adult life, I worked in non-traditional fields for men...nursing and special-ed teaching....which led to even more whispering. I am proud of the work I did, and I never cared what some ingrates had to say.

I think there is something in there about anyone expressing a non-traditional masculinity that includes gentleness, caring, compassion, empathy, patience, sensitivity...all those emotions and traits that are typically associated with women. If you are male and express tenderness, then you're not expressing an acceptable masculinity and so there's got to be something "wrong" with you. As you say, nurses and teachers (especially those in special ed and working with young children) get it a lot - as do people who live with animals and treat them with gentleness, sensitivity and understanding.

I find it really sad that there's so much resistance to men showing such emotions when really, it just makes you a better person.

 

[Atomiklan]

I find it really sad that there's so much resistance to men showing such emotions when really, it just makes you a better person.

I completely agree! The world can be so ridiculous sometimes.

 

[Just-passn-thru]

This is a man of science who knows better.

A man of science , does not necessarily equate to being "emotionally mature" ...Sounds like a remark a middle school pre-teenager would say .

 

[Atomiklan]

A man of science , does not necessarily equate to being "emotionally mature"

Yes that's true. I was referring more to his evidence (well... lack of). He knows better that what he presented was not an argument and therefore I attributed it to more of a joke at that point. You still make a very good point though. I do highly respect this individual though. Aside from his occasional joking nature, he is very open minded and accepting and as far as I know, not homophobic.

 

[Rolanda]

I don't remember which comedian it was but they were taking heat for being racist and homophobic. They simply said "I'm not a racist, or homophobic, I insult everyone equally!"

 

[MandaExotics]

A man of science , does not necessarily equate to being "emotionally mature" ...Sounds like a remark a middle school pre-teenager would say .

I'm not sure what it's like in California but in the "Bible Belt" area as it's sometimes called there's some good people and there's some eccentric ones. I could easily see numerous adults saying things like this seriously and jokingly where the OP is located. After all, this is the general location I was told I was going to burn for eternity if I believed in evolution. Not everyone is this eccentric, but it does happen. Maybe a bit of an extreme example but something I thought I'd point out.

Edit: Andrew, I'm not insulting your friend or your home town just to be clear, he's probably a fine individual

 

[Just-passn-thru]

I'm not sure what it's like in California but in the "Bible Belt" area as it's sometimes called there's some good people and there's some eccentric ones. I could easily see numerous adults saying things like this seriously and jokingly where the OP is located. After all, this is the general location I was told I was going to burn for eternity if I believed in evolution. Not everyone is this eccentric, but it does happen. Maybe a bit of an extreme example but something I thought I'd point out.

Edit: Andrew, I'm not insulting your friend or your home town just to be clear, he's probably a fine individual

Possibly true...this is a rather controversial touchy subject. that could possibly spawn heated points of view.

 

[MandaExotics]

Possibly true...this is a rather controversial touchy subject. that could possibly spawn heated points of view.

True, then again I think this quote sums it up nicely:
"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." - Thomas Jefferson

 

[Atomiklan]

Andrew, I'm not insulting your friend or your home town just to be clear, he's probably a fine individual

No problem, I understand where you're coming from.

Possibly true...this is a rather controversial touchy subject. that could possibly spawn heated points of view.

Yes you are right. Perhaps I should have avoided these posts all together. My intentions were pure. Things can indeed get out of hand though. I hope everyone continues to remain respectful and can contribute additional useful information. Otherwise we may just have to get a mod to close this down.

 

[Rolanda]

"Three things I don't discuss in Polite conversation... Politics, Weight and Sexual Orientation"

 

[MandaExotics]

"Three things I don't discuss in Polite conversation... Politics, Weight and Sexual Orientation"

As good a quote as any. Every one is a bit eccentric in their own way and has their own beliefs. If it doesn't adhere to the subject and isn't part of polite conversation, then it's no one else's business regardless.

 

[Just-passn-thru]

True, then again I think this quote sums it up nicely:
"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." - Thomas Jefferson

I concur,but the best of intensions can spiral out of control...Even amongst friends

 

[Atomiklan]

Sigh... How about we just have a mod close these threads down. I thought we could all have a respectful and open discussion, but I see now from some of the poll replies that this is not going to happen and people are going to be upset no matter how I try to approach this topic. It is a little upsetting that no matter what, some things are just off limits, but I don't want everyone getting into a fight over this. It's just not worth it. I'll copy this over to the poll thread too.

Can a moderator please delete my two posts?