SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!

[BigSkyMT]

I need all you parrot experts to help me. I just found this site & signed up hoping for help and to learn. I have been researching parrots for many many months, when I say research I mean reading hours a day, I've watched almost every single youtube video about training & taming. My husband & I finally decided we are ready to add a bird to our family. We do not have any children yet, waiting atleast another 3-5 years for children. But, we are definitely ready for a bird! We just spent almost $1,000 on a nice prevue cage, toys, treats, ect. I looked around for parrots that are in need of a home on craigslist and newspapers, but they are very limited and far away. (300+ miles) I found a cockatiel breeder 2 hours away. I connected with her & made the drive a week ago to take a look. The babies were 5 weeks old. I really liked the little yellow one, he was calm and quieter than the others and believed to be the only male. He wasn't standing on his feet like his siblings, that kind of worried me, but the breeder said some just mature later than others & he is fine, he is also smaller than the rest. So anyways I put a deposit on him. I made the 2 hour drive again today. She brought him out & I got him to step up on my finger! You can only imagine my excitement! Then he flew away & I went to grab him from the floor. I picked him up but he tried to bite me. I put him back on his perch in his box she brought him out on. He then flew away again, this time into their livingroom window. The woman had to grab him from behind the couch, she said she needed to clip his wings a little more. She grabbed him & tried cutting his wings, he freaked out, I asked of she wanted help & when I went to grab him he latched onto my thumb! It hurt a bit & she said when they latch the don't let go. I knew not to jere away & hurt his fragile neck, so I just held my hand really still & he let go. I know he was very terrified & if I was him I would've bitten someone too. I asked the lady if he will be more tame able into his adult life, she said she's never had a bird as shy as him. She said when she goes to feed the babies all his siblings come running to be let out of thier cage, but not him. He would rather stay far away from a person than to come eat. She has to grab him to feed him. But then she tells me he will be tame able that I have good patience.. is she telling the truth or does she just want my money & to get rid of the feisty bird? I kmow this is long, but this site is my only hope, please bare with me.. so after I left with a bleeding thumb & feeling really bummed out without a REAL answer (I want a bird companion that I can tame, train & have a very close relationship with) I left her home & went to Petsmart to buy some more bird toys & look around. I came across a sun conure, he/she would follow me from one side of the glass to the other, she/he bowed her head against the glass, almost like asking for a head scratch. I'm not going to lie, I stood there & interacted with that bird for well over an hour. I just couldn't leave. So now, I am thinking of telling the breeder to keep her deposit for her time & going to get the sun conure? BUT I do not know.. I had my heart set on this little yellow cockatiel that hates all and any interactions with people. But I really want a bird that's going to cuddle & be my bud for many years to come. I'd hate to get a bird that I cannot tame, that doesn't like people or going places. I would love to halter train my bird and take him out in the yard and walks through the park, ect. I guess after I gave the whole detail story so I can get REAL answers from people with hands on experience with shy Cockatiels & sun conure. Can a 6 week old cockatiel, that is unlike any bird the breeder has ever seen & just doesn't want to be messed with in any way, can he become a loving, tame, trainable, cuddly, outgoing bird? Or should I go with the sun conure that seemed to really be affectionate & cuddly? Can a 6 week old frank cockatiel be completely tamed? Lol. Please help me, I appreciate any help you can give me & thank you for taking the time to read my LONG story and hopefully replying. Pics of 5 week old cockatiel laying down, not standing like his siblings from the same clutch then him at 6 week old perching right before he flew away from me lol and sun conure at Petsmart that seemed to like me a lot.

 

[Lovebirdlover]

Welcome!!

The baby cockatiel is brand new to you, so that may have accounted for the shyness/not being cuddly. Once he/she is settled in and you slowly and gradually introduce yourself he will become more used to your presence and then you can begin socializing. Not every bird tames down, however. My conure is very skittish when it comes to hands and would rather be on my arm or on her cage than hang out with me. Each bird has its own unique personality

Also, Cockatiels and Sun conures are VERY different. Sun conures are known for being very loud and having high pitched shrieks. If your looking for a quieter bird, dont get a conure.

 

[Mizzely]

First thing is - why did you want a cockatiel in the first place?

What cage do you have and is it and all the things you already bought suitable for a sun conure?

To me it sounds like your breeder doesn't know what she is doing to be perfectly honest. The fact that he is so bitey to me means that she's made him fearful of hands and no one is respecting his space. Or, she simply isn't hand taming him like she says she is. A 6 week old cockatiel definitely can be tamed but if he's had a rough start to life, its an uphill battle at times.

Baby conures tend to love EVERYONE.

Now, here's some personal experiences. I brought home a cuddly little baby quaker, completely hand tame and well socialized. He was my bud. And then when he hit puberty, he started to bite me, fly away when I got near, and only wanted to be with my husband. It took me a good 10 months or so for him to even allow me near him again without biting. And its only been in the last 2 years of his almost 7 years that he has allowed me to pet him again.

Conversely, I adopted an adult Hahns Macaw that was hands off and I was told she would take AGES to warm up to me. Three days in she flew onto my face and then finally settled into the space on my shoulder, where she remained until the day she died basically. She was an extension of my heart and soul.


The point is, what you know now about both of these birds might change in a week or it might change in a year. Babies specifically are not set in stone - they are malleable to a larger degree. But all bets are off when hormones hit.

 

[Erikalynnha]

The cockatiel could very well have been scared. The breeder could also not know what she is doing. You have to keep in mind that even a "tame" bird might not be cuddly.

I have a very sweet Sun Conure who will hang out on my shoulder but fly away if I try to touch/ cuddle him. They all develop their own personalities. Even the Sun Conure at the store might act cuddly in the store but could become scared once you get him/her home. Like any animal they have to get use to their surroundings and you have to work with them. I hear alot of people complain after buying birds that they where so sweet in the store but turn into monsters at home. We call this the "honeymoon period". You have to respect there space and understand that they may not be the sweet, lovable cuddlebug you want them to be.

Cage set up/ toys and what not would be different from a cockatiel and sun. So make sure you are prepared. Sun Conures get alittle bigger then tiels and imo are often more destructive.

With all that being said I am sure if you get this cockatiel and work wirh him he will be fine. If you feel a connection with him I would take the chance. I had a green cheek that was untamed. He was terrified of me and would attack if I was trying to change his food out or clean his cage. It has been a battle but he is one of my cuddle monsters.

My Sun Conure is alot of work! He is loud, messy and just all together obnoxious but I love him even if he isn't as affectionate as my Blue Crown Conure who is a total velcro bird that DEMANDS cuddles.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide!

 

[faislaq]

I think with patience the young tiel will very likely become tame and probably bond with you. The breeder doesn't seem very patient from the way you described her. A young bird is afraid and flies away? Let's trim them -again! Birds who are flighted are more confident so I think the trimming may only make him more fearful because he cannot flee when his body tells him to. If you do decide to get him, you might want to consider also adopting one of the others as well. I am curious that you said the little one wasn't standing when his siblings were? It may be nothing & I know the experienced tiel folks will let you know if it's something to be concerned with, but I would ask what the breeder's policy is if there is something seriously wrong with him. She was right, though, you must be a patient person if you stood quietly with a sharp beak in your thumb so as not to hurt the little guy.

My husband and I bought our first bird, a green cheek conure, from PetSmart. He was also very tame; he was one of the lucky ones who ended up in a location where the employees actually played with him. He was an amazing little ham and adventurous from the start. A month later we also adopted another, very skittish (likely abused) green cheek from a family on Craigslist to keep him company and to help him with his pinfeathers. Our brave conure really helped the shy guy start coming out of his shell.

My point is either bird will probably turn out well, but both would likely benefit from a companion and thankfully it sounds like you have a roomy cage. I think the conure would be instant gratification and the tiel may be more rewarding to watch his trust grow. It's a toss up but I think the answer will come to you. Sleep on it?

 

[BigSkyMT]

I can't express how thrilled I am with the quick replies. It seriously brought a tear to my eye. Thank you guys soooo much! One of the replies asked about cage setup with different birds requires different needs, I have spent months researching mostly cockatiels, so looking into a sun conure, the large prevue cage would still work for the sun conure, but a lot of the toys & perches wouldnt. My husband & I just read through all your comments & we are thinking of taking on the challenge to tame the timid baby cockatiel. But, as another comment said, is to sleep on it. The young cockatiel won't be ready for another couple weeks, so we definitely have time to decide. Has anyone had a baby cockatiel with kind of the same characteristics and grew to be lovey? I know I'd love him either way. We love in the country and have a few female geese & ducks. An all female flock for eggs & companionship only. I have managed to clicker train a couple of the geese, they love to be pet & always follow us everywhere we go, so I have a little experience with training birds. It was the water fowl that I really grew a passion for birds. They just fascinating. Our geese also went through the hormones, when they get that way we just ignore them & give them the space they request, as for the ducks, they know not of personal space lol. And another reply suggested a second bird, maybe sometime in the future, but I have read it's harder to tame 2 birds than one. So we will wait & maybe of we can bring little yellow out of his shell and gain enough experience, maybe then we could adopt an unwanted bird for the next challenge. Thanks again for replying. Was seriously going to loose sleep over it. Just waited so long & have been so excited & felt like I was being dealt an unfair card. Also thought about the chances of the conure getting a good home is a better chance at $700 someone must really want & know a lot about a sum conure to make such an investment, if I don't take the little yellow cockatiel, what would probably happen to it would just stay at the breeders house. She does have a very nice setup, they have a large free flight room & the woman & her husband are retired & do take really great care of the birds. Sorry if I gave the impression it was a shady situation, they've have had birds all thier lives & each has a cockatiel bonded to them that is always on thier shoulders. Thier yard is bird scaped for the wild birds & thier house & birds are all clean. I think they are just a little old fashioned. So yes, I am going to sleep on it, I will give you guys updates & pics! So you guys are telling me, I CAN bond with a timid skittish 6 week old cockatiel? I am willing to put in the time & dedication to take things as slow as needed. Anymore tips &.advice are more appreciated than you'll ever know. Thank you! This site is the best thing I've come across in months! Thanks again! Jesus loves you!

 

[Wasabisaurus]

There’s no guarantee any bird will be your close buddy. However, cockatiels have a good reputation for being sweet and friendly. I’ve had three. The very first one (adopted from an animal shelter) passed away 3 years ago. Somebody screwed him up. He hated humans, but he did not have to love us. His companion cockatiel, adopted after him, loved his cranky friend. He’s been less interested in being with us and more interested with another cockatiel we adopted from a lady going back to school. That’s OK, too.

If you do get the cockatiel, we can advise you on socializing him. Please note their concept of time is very different from ours. Many new bird owners expect to be fast friends in a month or two. It doesn’t work that way. If you have patience and no time clock, you can have a wonderful friend for life. Please do NOT take home an unweaned baby.

Please note with ANY bird, their personalities can change when they get hormonal and a sweet-as-pie bird can get cranky and territorial. That shocks many new bird owners. I know first things first, but I don’t want you to go into the world of parrot keeping without that knowledge. They don’t all go frankenbird on you.

I am glad you are here. I’ve about 15 years with my birds. Others here have had far longer. You’re in a good place.

 

[BigSkyMT]

Ps- here is the tree stand we built. Still waiting on amazon for more toys to come in. We made it out if mountain ash that is safe for birds & sterilized it. Def wouldn't hold up to a conure, but will be perfect for a cockatiel that we originally made it for. Also, any of you have tips on houseplants? My house is a jungle to say the least. I went through dozen if lists of toxic house plants & ended up giving away some of my more cherished plants that are toxic to parrots. The ones that are non toxic, I added layers of river rock to cover the soil completely. I guess my question is, do your cockatiels completely destroy your plants. Obviously the bird will never be out without our full supervision, but I've read a few studies on the health if birds being in a more natural environment with plants. Scientists even put up pictures if palms & plants on walls in an otherwise bare walled bird room & studied thr birds behavior for several months. The birds with health & behavior problems certainly benefited from the change to the bare room to an artificial tropical surroundings. It astounded me. My house is covered in plants, are there any other house plant & bird lovers out there? How do you manage?

 

[BigSkyMT]

Thanks for responding! I have read about the importance of time for taming & training. I plan on not even talking to the bird on the 2hr ride home, I read it's very traumatizing & hearing our voice during that time can imprint it on them to be fearful of your voice. Also for the first 3-7 days home I am going to let him settle in completely before interacting with him. Fresh food & water with a treat in his dish, after I feel he isn't terrified of me I plan to sit and read to him & slowly go from there. My husband & I are very patient & have taken in a lot of unwanted & abused pets, so we know patience & trust bonding. After I get him *tame* I will then start socializing him with friends and family slowly. Focus on socializing and desensitization to objects then people then places. Would love to have my bird shoulder trained with a halter to take strolls in the park and hangout with me in the garden. Time will tell. Thank you for replying! So. Do you believe all cockatiels can be tamed with enough time & consistency? Also, I would never take a baby not weaned. I read about the dangers & complications of doing that. Also the lady said he might wean a week later than his siblings & wont let him go until she knows he's eating healthy on his own. She really does care, I just put the wrong impression of 'the breeder" in my first message. Thank you all so much for replying! Really is awesome be able to talk like this with others with so much experience!! It's like BackyardChickens.com for parrot owners! This is such a blessing!

 

[LilSprout]

Thanks for responding! I have read about the importance of time for taming & training. I plan on not even talking to the bird on the 2hr ride home, I read it's very traumatizing & hearing our voice during that time can imprint it on them to be fearful of your voice. Also for the first 3-7 days home I am going to let him settle in completely before interacting with him. Fresh food & water with a treat in his dish, after I feel he isn't terrified of me I plan to sit and read to him & slowly go from there. My husband & I are very patient & have taken in a lot of unwanted & abused pets, so we know patience & trust bonding. After I get him *tame* I will then start socializing him with friends and family slowly. Focus on socializing and desensitization to objects then people then places. Would love to have my bird shoulder trained with a halter to take strolls in the park and hangout with me in the garden. Time will tell. Thank you for replying! So. Do you believe all cockatiels can be tamed with enough time & consistency? Also, I would never take a baby not weaned. I read about the dangers & complications of doing that. Also the lady said he might wean a week later than his siblings & wont let him go until she knows he's eating healthy on his own. She really does care, I just put the wrong impression of 'the breeder" in my first message. Thank you all so much for replying! Really is awesome be able to talk like this with others with so much experience!! It's like BackyardChickens.com for parrot owners! This is such a blessing!

Not a cockatiel but when I got Kamara she was so terrified of humans so I decided to have her cage next to the place I spend the most time at (my computer desk) so I can spend the maximum amount of time with her plus just sitting quietly around a scared animal can help them start to see that you're not so scary. Offering treats like millet helps too. Kamara didn't live long enough with me to truly become "tame" and overcome her 15 previous years of abuse.
In a similar situation Charlie's previous owner said the owners that owned Charlie before she owned him were mean to him and scared him and he was quite frightened of humans when she got him. She spent a lot of time working with him and now he adores people and whenever someone walks into the room he flies right over to them.

 

[SquawksNibbles]

I'd say that if you have the time and patience and are dedicated, you can gain the trust of the little yellow Cockatiel and you guys can be great friends.

I got my Budgie, Skittles, from a pet store, and he, like most Budgies there, was very scared and was not tame at all. Now he will happily perch on your hand and will immediately hop up on your hand and start eating treats out of it. He also waddles up your arm and on to your shoulder and will start preening your hair, and may even nibble on your ear (with no intention of trying to hurt us, they are tiny nibbles). It is definitely possible to tame a scared and untamed bird. It just takes time and patience.

Then he flew away & I went to grab him from the floor. I picked him up but he tried to bite me. I put him back on his perch in his box she brought him out on. He then flew away again, this time into their livingroom window. The woman had to grab him from behind the couch, she said she needed to clip his wings a little more. She grabbed him & tried cutting his wings, he freaked out, I asked of she wanted help & when I went to grab him he latched onto my thumb

It do not think the bird was biting out of aggression, I believe he was just scared. Most, if not all birds (especially the small ones), do not liked to be grabbed. I mean, just imagine having a giant hand reach for you and pick you up! It is very scary for the little fellas. The lady also took away his flight feathers, the things that could him away from the big scary giants! Birds flee when they're scared. Definitely avoid clipping wings in the future. Though it is painless for the birds at the time, it has bad effects.

I would also like to remind you that you are comparing two totally different kinds of birds. Most Conures are loud and very demanding and clingy. I know a lot of Conures like to be out of the cage and given attention 24/7. Conures are also known for being a little nippy, but it depends on each bird. You said you and your husband are waiting a few years to have children. Sun Conures usually live 15-20 years, sometimes even as long as 30. What happens if you guys have a child when you have a Sun Conure? The bird might become aggressive if you guys stop giving it attention and instead focus on the baby. It's probably not a good idea to have such a nippy and needy bird around a baby.

In the end, it's your decision to make and I wish you luck with it. It's definitely not easy, but you've just got to figure out which one is a better fit for your lifestyle. Remember to also think about the future. Good luck!

 

[Garet]

The little boy you're getting sounds a lot like my girl. She was clipped as a baby, which is very bad for them, as that's when they build up the muscles and skills required to fly. If she's clipping them at that age....... eesh, it's no wonder they're terrified of hands. When I picked her up, her old owner offered to clip her wings for me, too. She was pretty nippy and very scared until she mastered her ability to fly and figured out that my hands weren't there to grab her and clip her wings, but for pets and scritches and were safe for her to trust.

Then, we had to work on her flying, and once she could fly properly, we worked on her harness training. Now, she doesn't really bite anymore, just sort of bumps me with her beeper, and happily steps up onto kids' hands while we walk.

Millet is your best friend in this process. Combine that with an open cage door and lots of patience, and you should do fine whichever bird you pick.

 

[BigSkyMT]

Thanks you all for your help! I have decided as a first time bird owner that a sun conure is to much. Also the thread that talked about when we decide to have children down the road. We are going to stick it out with our little yellow cockatiel. He still has a couple weeks to be weaned so I gives me that much more time to do MORE research. I'm obsessed & just can't stop reading & learning. I want to give it the best home I possibly can. Husband & I are up thr the challenge of taking little baby steps & taming this baby! It will Def be rewarding for even the tiniest bit of progress. Than you all so very much. God bless & Jesus loves you! Any more advice would be amazing!

 

[BeeBop]

I must say that I am IMPRESSED. This is how all prospective bird owners should be!!! Hats off to you for doing your research and being really dedicated to the cause. I can tell you are serious about this and I am very happy that you are. I agree with all the other commentators. Personally I would *consider* another breeder because the one you have now seems to be impatient, though of course that doesn't have much to do with the bird itself. Good luck!

 

[cassiesdad]

There's going to be one very lucky tiel out in Big Sky country. He's coming to a home where he'll be loved and well cared for!

You never know what you'll get personality-wise when you bring a new feathered friend into your home. Tiels are, for the most part, calm, easy going birds, that tend to bond with their people pretty well.

We have three tiels here...with three different personalities. Igor, who is 16, is the "middle child", so to speak. He's a happy bird, that seeks out human interaction...on his own terms. He flies over, sometimes requesting scritches, sometimes just content to sit with you. When he's ready to leave, he does just that.

Sunshine, who is three-ish, seeks out people. In fact, he's just flown in here to the computer room, and now is demanding scritches by sticking his head in my face and chortling. He likes you to rub your nose on his face...and he will sit with you all day, if you allow it.

Mocha, who is eight, thinks all humans waste valuable oxygen by breathing it. He is very bonded to Igor (both boys) and will get very unnerved if Igor comes out and sits with somebody. He'll flock call over and over until his buddy comes back to his side.

Three tiels, three different personalities....all very loved...

 

[Tiel Feathers]

I think that the cockatiel might be easier in the long run, but it would be great if you could go visit him a few times before you bring him home. You can just sit near his cage and talk to him if he doesn’t want to be on you. I think it’s great that he was even on your finger for a bit! I would talk to him on the way home too. Your voice will be soothing to your new friend in an otherwise scary situation. I talked to all my birds non stop on the car ride home. Also, waiting 3-7 days to let him out may or may not be necessary. If he seems eager to come out before that, you can let him. As @cassiesdad said, all of my tiels have very different personalities too. Some are more affectionate than others, but one of them, Twilight, does not like skin at all. We still have a very strong relationship, and we are able to work around that. Harness training may or may not work with your little bird, so if not, don’t be too disappointed. Also, I would ask the breeder to try not grabbing him, but to be extra loving towards him if she can.

 

[TikiMyn]

I agree with @Tiel Feathers , every bird is different. If he seems eager to come out and explore, let him! My lovebird Fëanor wanted to come out on the first day home, but my cockatiel Tiki needed a week.

 

[orphansparrow]

Everyone basically said all that needed to be said, but I just wanted to say - awesome stand! Good job on that!

Also, as far as your decision - even if for some strange reason you ended up with a bird who just would NOT tame, I promise you, you will love them anyway. I have a bird who loves me, but she is VERY bitey after 8 solid years of work. I love her, we spend time together, but her cuddly moments are few and far between, but I wouldn't trade her for anything. I know you'll feel the same, you just have to go into it with the expectation to love and care for the bird on ITS terms. These are wild animals, and there are no guarantees. ALSO though, cockatiels are known for being pretty laid back compared to other parrot species. It's a YOUNG baby bird. It will change a lot according to how much time and effort and respect you put in. And keep in contact here - we have some EXTREMELY knowledgeable folks here. I'm still learning after 8 years of parronthood.

 

[MommyBird]

I also think that info you read about leaving them strictly alone and not talking to them for days is not good advice.
You don't want to throw a party but I think talking to him would be a good idea.
Also do not be silent and creep around quietly so as not to disturb him. That is exactly what a predator would do.
so talk and let him know you're there and not some sneaky monster.

 

[finchly]

Hi there. I’m biased because I love tiels. But also I think tiels are easier and more mellow than conures.

I’m slightly concerned because the bite bothered you so much. Birds bite. You have bite and won’t let go and bite and grind. It’s part of bird keeping.

If I were in your shoes I’d go get that baby now and let the Breeder show you how to hand feed. Write down everything— how often she’s been feeding him, ratio of water to formula, and temperature. Then take him home and hand feed him your self. You’ll end up with a sweet baby that’s bonded to you.