Sad situation with male Eclectus

[DQTimnehs]

Could you ask to look after him temporarily until she gets things sorted out at home? Or do you think the "DH" is not going anywhere?

 

[Doodle Bird]

DH...not going anywhere.

 

[DQTimnehs]

Maybe as a friend, you could help her see that she shouldn't be putting up with his abuse either and help her get help.

 

[Doodle Bird]

Maybe as a friend, you could help her see that she shouldn't be putting up with his abuse either and help her get help.

I don't mean to sound unfeeling but I really can't get involved in that for so many reasons. It is a messy situation for sure...but it isn't my place to go there. I've dealt with this kind of thing before. I think that's part of the reason this is bothering me so much, I wish I could help HER but I can't.

 

[Deejo]

I don't mean to sound unfeeling but I really can't get involved in that for so many reasons. It is a messy situation for sure...but it isn't my place to go there. I've dealt with this kind of thing before. I think that's part of the reason this is bothering me so much, I wish I could help HER but I can't.

Have just read this whole thread....sad situation is an understatement. That poor woman and Gizmo - there is only so much anyone can do in these domestic situations. I do hope you keep in regular touch with her. Obviously, she needs a friend and perhaps she will come to understand that both she and Gizmo deserve far better.

 

[Vega]

I would suggest having her sign something that she is turning over ownership to you. I know that will be a difficult topic to approach when she's already having doubts about rehoming him. However, it would be in everyone's best interest. You could approach it by saying you have concerns about the husband saying the bird was stolen, so you need something in writing that she is turning him over to you to protect yourself. Even an email to her saying something to the effect of "I'm happy to help you out by giving Gizmo a new home" would help you in a legal sense. Without a response from her saying "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" you are showing that she is aware that this isn't a temporary situation and that she cannot come back to claim him later on. Once you take the bird out of her home he is indeed YOURS.

When I took in Rico on a "trial basis" his former owner and i signed something to that effect. That I would take him until a certain date. By that date I would either have to return Rico to her or pay her the agreed amount. I had no problems signing it and neither did she. It protected us both.

I'm sending prayers that she puts this baby's best interest ahead of her wants. She has the choice to stay in an abusive rs, the bird does not.

 

[artgeek09]

This is so heartbreaking, Patricia. I know your hear is just torn in two knowing what you have to do but now knowing how without hurting someone.
Last night, after I read that you were going to see Gizmo, I started thinking about how it would be for both the wife and Gizmo. Sometimes, well, most of the time, when an abused person takes a stand for something, the abuser will squash any form of power that the person may be exerting to do so. In this case, even though the husband wants the bird gone, when the wife actually makes steps for that, sometimes the abuser will see that as a form of empowerment for the wife and then squash it with even more physical or emotional abuse. It also got me thinking as to what the husband could do when she comes to visit Gizmo… I fear for her safety.
It’s really reassuring to know that for the month that Gizmo was out of that environment he chose not to pluck his feathers. He must be a real little fighter. It would be so easy for him to continue the behavior just on the basis that he doesn’t know when the “bad man” will be back.
I would keep pressing the issue based on the improvements that Gizmo will have in his life vs. staying. He could recover; he could be a confident, happy bird. He wouldn’t have to live in fear and at risk of injury at any turn. I wish I had more advice to give and could be there to help…

 

[SandraK]

I know you are trying not to be hurtful to your friend while also trying to point out what's best for her bird. Would it be fair to ask her the question of how she would feel if her hubby injures Gizmo so badly that he either (a) kills him outright or, worse yet, (b) injures him so badly that he needs vet help (which from the sound of it, this guy wouldn't go for)?

Totally apart from Gizmo's health, your friend shouldn't have to put up with BS like this but in the back of my mind I also have what happened to Magni; you have to be equally careful for yourself.

 

[Doodle Bird]

I just got off the phone with MY husband and being he thought this would be a temporary situation isn't crazy about the idea. He says we can't take on another bird. I know we could (he always says that and then we get another pet and he's fine) but now I have that to think about as well. I do have to respect that he doesn't want another bird. I mean there is a chance he will have a change of heart once Gizmo is here. He's mostly worried about the loudness and the neighbors getting upset. He said I let my emotions for the animal take over. Actually he is right, but how can I in good conscience let this go? Ugh, maybe I'm biting off more than I can chew. To clarify...my husband isn't against me helping, but only temporarily. But I already told the lady that I would keep the bird. Not smart!

 

[artgeek09]

I just got off the phone with MY husband and being he thought this would be a temporary situation isn't crazy about the idea. He says we can't take on another bird. I know we could (he always says that and then we get another pet and he's fine) but now I have that to think about as well. I do have to respect that he doesn't want another bird. I mean there is a chance he will have a change of heart once Gizmo is here. He's mostly worried about the loudness and the neighbors getting upset. He said I let my emotions for the animal take over. Actually he is right, but how can I in good conscience let this go? Ugh, maybe I'm biting off more than I can chew. To clarify...my husband isn't against me helping, but only temporarily. But I already told the lady that I would keep the bird. Not smart!

Arg. I know it's going to be tough to break that to your friend, but I think she of all people will understand that you have to consider the wishes of your husband. I don't think she'll hold it against you at all.
I'll just go ahead and re-input my offer to take him if you can't. I know she's not going to like the idea of him being so far away, but I really think it might be safer for her and for Gizmo. The husband won't be able to use visiting you as a power coin and abuse her for visiting. Gizmo would be able to completely separate from his abused life and start afresh. And of course, emails and pictures and updates will always be offered. To this day I send updates to Dante and Savannah's previous owners. Heck, if she was somehow able to get away to visit, I wouldn't be against that either as long as she was safe when she returned.

I know it may not happen, but I'd just like to leave that door open should she be comfortable to choose it.

 

[Doodle Bird]

Arg. I know it's going to be tough to break that to your friend, but I think she of all people will understand that you have to consider the wishes of your husband. I don't think she'll hold it against you at all.
I'll just go ahead and re-input my offer to take him if you can't. I know she's not going to like the idea of him being so far away, but I really think it might be safer for her and for Gizmo. The husband won't be able to use visiting you as a power coin and abuse her for visiting. Gizmo would be able to completely separate from his abused life and start afresh. And of course, emails and pictures and updates will always be offered. To this day I send updates to Dante and Savannah's previous owners. Heck, if she was somehow able to get away to visit, I wouldn't be against that either as long as she was safe when she returned.

I know it may not happen, but I'd just like to leave that door open should she be comfortable to choose it.

You are awesome. xo

 

[Meatball]

 

[Vega]

I guess I'm not understanding, has she said that Gizmo has a screaming problem? Of my 3 my ekkie is the quietest. Rarely does she get loud.

 

[sodakat]

I guess I'm not understanding, has she said that Gizmo has a screaming problem? Of my 3 my ekkie is the quietest. Rarely does she get loud.

A couple of my boys are L O U D and do bother my husband at times. But the episodes are short lived and generally follow normal parrot patterns of hollering at dusk and dawn. Bella 'kills' her stuffed animals once or twice a day and the murdering episodes are crazy loud. But we know what to expect with her and know that it will end quickly.

Of course Gizmo's owner wants him to go to someone she knows who lives close by; who giving up a bird wouldn't? But, there are NO GUARANTEES what will happen in anyone's life and even if the OP promised to keep him, her life could take a turn where she could not, even if her husband was all excited. Personally, I would not have an Eclectus in an apartment or any home with shared walls. This is just my personal opinion.

If I can help reassure Gizmo's owner that he will do fine in a new home, please let me know. Most of us on AA have second hand birds and for the most part they have thrived, once they adjusted to their new homes.

 

[artgeek09]

Dante was listed as a screamer, but probably the first 6 months after we had him he didn't scream at all. However, now that he's made himself completely comfortable, he will definitely let you know if something is upsetting him, and it can definiately be loud. It's usually short lived and only happens when there's a reason (someone he doesn't know coming in his room, when we were getting work done on the house, if there's a lot of emotional tension in the house, etc). While we did have Dante in an apartment at one point, we were the corner unit and there were no neighbors in the nearby units. I wouldn't recommend it long term.

 

[Doodle Bird]

Everyone please meet Gizmo! He is at home with me on a temporary basis for now. He is SWEET and loving and makes the cutest noises. Not to mention awesome talking ability...wow! He's plucked to the bone so it's more than I thought it would be. He preens like normal but then gets a bit violent with himself at times. No mutilating though. His skin is SUPER dry and flaky. He was on a diet of sunflower seeds but not because she didn't try. He is picky and if he takes fresh foods it's only if he's hand fed and sees you eating it first. I have him mixed sprouts and after I pretended to eat he started mouthing them. He didn't actually eat any though. But the pellets he devoured.

He actually seems pretty calm and at home here. As I type he keeps saying "hello" in a sweet voice. When he wants to be fed he says "mmmmm"! I think I've heard him say "Gizmo" too. He screamed while at the lady's house...OH MY GOODNESS that is LOUD! He sounds like a Macaw!!! My eeks definitely are less piercing. I hope he rarely does it because that will be a major problem in an apartment. I mean, once in a while is fine but I don't want any scream fests or anything.

The husband got home while I was there and the poor bird is indeed terrified of him. The man tried to pet him and he leaned way back in fear. They want me to "fix" him and then give him back. I said I would see what I could do to help him with his plucking and we will address it again in a month.

ETA - he vibrates his wings a lot. Nani does that when she is excited but I'm not sure if that's normal for Gizmo.

 

[AmberMuffinz]

Wow, they want him "fixed" and returned?! That's ridiculous. Glad he's in your care now. I hope he gets the help he needs and if feasible maybe even off to Jessica's home

 

[Doodle Bird]

Wow, they want him "fixed" and returned?! That's ridiculous. Glad he's in your care now. I hope he gets the help he needs and if feasible maybe even off to Jessica's home

Oh she was very adamant that no one else can take him. And I forgot to mention that she very obviously loves the bird and did her best to care for him. The cage was clean and large, and she's spent hundreds on vet care even though she is poor. Gizmo loves her too and was snuggling and preening her. So the relationship there is good.

 

[artgeek09]

Aww!!!! Hey Gizmo!!!
I'm soooo glad that he's in your care right now! He looks to be such a sweetheart! Teehee. Yeaaaah, eclectus can be pretty loud! I never would have believed it the first few months with the Dante, but we sure did learn! That's also great that he'll try things if he sees you trying them. Dante did the same thing and now he'll try just about anything as long as "daddy" tries it.

How is Gizmo reacting to your husband? I hope his fear hasn't been generalized to men in general, but even if it has that can always be worked on with a kind, gentle man around.

I look forward to hearing about his progress! Especially with his baths. Dante wasn't too sure about baths in the beginning and end sorta just sat there like a bump on a log, but now he's a quite enthusiastic and even asks"take a shower? " every morning.

Wow, I actually got happy tears seeing him safe and :') thank you so much Patricia for keeping him safe. That sweetheart certainly deserves it!

Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using Tapatalk 2

 

[Bokkapooh]

Poor Gizmo. I'm glad you have him. And I wish the lady gets help now to get her outta that situation. So so sad