Will African Greys allow some cuddling and are they playful? What are your birds like?

[jzarc17]

I have been looking into getting a parrot for a very long time and one of the species I am interested in is an African Grey. I like that I have learned these birds are independent but I would prefer if the bird was ok with me giving them head scratches, a random kiss on the head and the (this might sound strange) occasional hug. I also would love a bird that is somewhat playful. I am hoping that people with an African Grey could like me know how there parrots feel about physical affection/ being touched and if they are playful?

 

[Hawk12237]

I have been looking into getting a parrot for a very long time and one of the species I am interested in is an African Grey. I like that I have learned these birds are independent but I would prefer if the bird was ok with me giving them head scratches, a random kiss on the head and the (this might sound strange) occasional hug. I also would love a bird that is somewhat playful. I am hoping that people with an African Grey could like me know how there parrots feel about physical affection/ being touched and if they are playful?

There's a lot of Grey owners on this forum and each one will offer you their experiences with their Grey's. All beautiful people and beautiful Grey's.
Each Grey tends to develop its own unique personality, but you are going to be the one it learns from. Grey's are very inquisitive parrots. They study you, watch you, and mimic your behavior. It's like having a "mini me"...lol. But keep that in mind.
Not all Grey's are touchy feely type of birds, yes they are in a way independent, but also really love the company of humans. They tend to do things sometimes on their terms, such as stitches. They let you know when they want them and when they don't.
My grey will give me a hug, pressing beak hard against my cheek, as I put my hand on its back to say thank you as he's doing it.I
Grey's love to interact, so playing with them is sheer fun to them. Don't just give them toys and walk away. Okay with their toys with them. They love that, get creative. Play hide and seek, play catch the ball, have story time chat, have point and say what it is time....for example I sit by window with my grey and point to squirrel in yard, "do you see it?? It's a squirrel. " and they learn to acknowledge it and wave to it.
Your the example, remember. And it does involve patience.
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[Imogena]

I have a Timneh African Grey. He is two years old. Likes to play with me and on his own. He likes scritches on his head, neck, under his beak. He always lets me know where he wants me to scritch him. He is moving his head from one side to another or up so I know where to touch him. But he is not cudly. He doesn't like me to hug him, never did, so I don't do this. And as for scritches it is always on his terms. If I want to touch him and he doesn't want it he lets me know immediately by gently moving my fingers away. If I don't listen... he is less gentle. It is better to listen right away.
Now Edgar prefers to interact with me then playing on his own. So whenever he is out of the cage it means, he is close to me and usually I cannot do antything except paying atention to him. It starts to be a problem but I hope it will pass. It is like a phase for him. We had it before and it passed.
I completely agree with @Hawk12237 and his description of Greys. They are unique. Each and everyone has his/hers own preferences and you have to learn from your bird and let your bird learn from you.

 

[Snowghost]

Paco is a Congo African Grey and not touchy feely type of bird. I'm o.k. with that. He is 20 years old and was cage bound most of his life and had hardly any human interaction, he will touch his beak to his previous owners lips when she asked for a kiss. We are not ready for that yet. He interacts with me, whistles, screeches sometimes, we communicate and I love him to pieces. Greys are very intelligent, when I talk to him and show him things, you can see he is listening and he learns. We have been together for a year and it is a wonderful journey. As @Hawk12237 and @Imogena say, each bird is different. If you can spend as much time as you can with other birds and Greys. A parrot is a life long companion and not something you just give away if it isn't the bird you want. I don't think any parrot breed really hugs, remember it is a bird. Some are more affectionate then others. I would be honest with your self and chose the right breed for you and learning as much as you can. We are all here willing to help, the people here are awesome!

 

[MnGuy]

My 18 year old CAG likes to be scratched on her terms. Mostly she likes to perch on my hand or be physically near me. No hugs or kisses. She’s an amazing creature.

She doesn’t play the way many conures play. She’s more into exploring things with her beak or mind. I give her toddler toys that make noise or speak via push buttons.

I used to have a cuddly Meyer’s and sometimes I miss a bird that likes cozying up on your neck. That said, I love my CAG.

If cuddling and playfulness are high on your list, I’d suggest looking at other species. While every bird is an individual, I believe CAGs are largely not cuddly.

Good luck.

 

[jzarc17]

My grey will give me a hug, pressing beak hard against my cheek, as I put my hand on its back to say thank you as he's doing it.I

[/QUOTE]
@Hawk12237 That is absolutely heart melting! It's is perfectly understandable that not all grey's are alike just like people. It would be really nice if I had a bird and it was affectionate in this way but not the end of the world if it isn't.

 

[Snowghost]

I had a wild caught Amazon, didn't talk, no touch. I didn't care, she would fly to my shoulder for a nut. We had our own language. She was my best bud for 25 years. I really don't think we form bonds with our birds based on if we can pet them or not. Its a relationship like no other. They are not soft cuddly kittens, they won't sit like a dog or go fetch. You can train them to do tricks. Its hard to describe. Its a relationship with an animal like no other.

 

[jzarc17]

My 18 year old CAG likes to be scratched on her terms. Mostly she likes to perch on my hand or be physically near me. No hugs or kisses. She’s an amazing creature.

She doesn’t play the way many conures play. She’s more into exploring things with her beak or mind. I give her toddler toys that make noise or speak via push buttons.

I used to have a cuddly Meyer’s and sometimes I miss a bird that likes cozying up on your neck. That said, I love my CAG.

If cuddling and playfulness are high on your list, I’d suggest looking at other species. While every bird is an individual, I believe CAGs are largely not cuddly.

Good luck.

I would not say that snuggly is not super high on the list, I'm far more interested in a bird that I can interact with and include in my daily life. A velcro bird for instance would not be for me at all but some affection would be really nice. I am used to having reptiles, my bearded dragon is VERY reserved in how he shows affection but to the trained eye you can tell he enjoys my company and he's always watching what I'm up to. His affections are enough for me so I'm thinking that a Grey would probably show plenty of affection in their own individual way. Just curious, thanks for your feed back!

 

[tka]

Birds don't tend to like hugs. As prey species, being hugged feels too much like being caught by a predator. As parrots, touch on the back, belly, over the wings, under the wings and vent (basically everywhere that isn't their head) is reserved for mates only. If you stroke your parrot's back, the parrot is going to assume that you're in a relationship. This sounds cute but many, many parrots lose their home because of it. Most species of parrot are intensely monogamous (with some rare exceptions) so this can cause tensions between you and other people. Your intensely monogamous parrot is NOT going to be impressed if you hug your family members or cuddle your partner! A parrot will either attack a potential rival for your affections, or nip and bite their partner to drive them away from a potential rival. This is interpreted in a pet context as "aggression".

It is important to never let your parrot believe you are mates in the first place, even though it means you are more restricted in where and how you can touch them.

Interact with and include in daily life? Sure. Many parrots want to be included in flock activities and will be upset if they can hear stuff going on that they aren't involved in. Mine "helps" me wash up. Yesterday we dealt with a pile of junk mail - the humans sorted it and ripped addresses off envelopes and letters, we gave those to Leia, and and she shredded those into teeny bits of paper. You can use clicker training to teach a parrot tricks like targeting a stick, turning around, opening their wings and so on - this will also help you learn how to communicate with each other.

 

[Hawk12237]

@Hawk12237 That is absolutely heart melting! It's is perfectly understandable that not all grey's are alike just like people. It would be really nice if I had a bird and it was affectionate in this way but not the end of the world if it isn't.
[/QUOTE]
It's actually not impossible at all. It's an issue of trust and comfort level between you and your grey.
It took ohhh, 4-5 y rs before we both have a truely honest bond and trust with each other.
There's absolutely nothing I can't do with this grey. He's in tune with me, and I with it. I can check under his wings, I can flip him on his back on my chest and pet his head. Rides on my shoulder in truck, flies to me on command. But this all takes time, and lots of it. They soon reward you with all this in time. You just have to stay focused and disciplined with your bird. Learn your bird, study your bird, take notes of you need to, and ask questions to those that can help guide you if in doubt. In the end, you'll feel like you have a million dollar bird.

 

[Snowghost]

@Hawk12237 Well said. Even with my frustrations, ups and downs with Paco I have to remind myself that my Amazon was with me for 25 years and I have to remember it took years for us to get where we were. I think they are all million dollar birds, sad that non bird people don't get it. The looks I get from friends and family when I talk about Paco is priceless. That is what is so great about this group, Y'all get it. I don't like recommended a breed nor not recommend one as each bird is different. I had four Cockatiels and each was different, some cuddly, some not. Like you said, learn your bird the best as you can. A beautiful relationship will be created.

 

[Hawk12237]

I would not say that snuggly is not super high on the list, I'm far more interested in a bird that I can interact with and include in my daily life. A velcro bird for instance would not be for me at all but some affection would be really nice. I am used to having reptiles, my bearded dragon is VERY reserved in how he shows affection but to the trained eye you can tell he enjoys my company and he's always watching what I'm up to. His affections are enough for me so I'm thinking that a Grey would probably show plenty of affection in their own individual way. Just curious, thanks for your feed back!

I honestly think you would do good with a grey.
Mine likes to ask questions from my shoulder when washing dishes or making dinner.
He'll sit there look down and watch me, then ask.. " whatcha doing boooo?? " so I carefully explain to him what I'm doing " I'm washing dishes boo boo..and he says.."Ohhhhh. "
Now after explaining in to him a hundred times,
He'll fly out, land on my shoulder and ask " washy washy boo boo??? " And I say, " yep buddy, daddy is washy washy the dishes".
Now, some of the things my grey says and does,....
When I make the dog's dinner, he will call the dog. " come on maggie, yum yum"...
Or I say " show me your wings" he'll lift them up and spread them out.
Or I'll say Grey grey, where are ya?? he'll call out.
"Whooooo hoooooo"...
That's just a sample.....
Truth be told, greys don't take no for an answer.
You'll soon figure that one out...lol...

 

[Hawk12237]

Birds don't tend to like hugs. As prey species, being hugged feels too much like being caught by a predator. As parrots, touch on the back, belly, over the wings, under the wings and vent (basically everywhere that isn't their head) is reserved for mates only. If you stroke your parrot's back, the parrot is going to assume that you're in a relationship. This sounds cute but many, many parrots lose their home because of it. Most species of parrot are intensely monogamous (with some rare exceptions) so this can cause tensions between you and other people. Your intensely monogamous parrot is NOT going to be impressed if you hug your family members or cuddle your partner! A parrot will either attack a potential rival for your affections, or nip and bite their partner to drive them away from a potential rival. This is interpreted in a pet context as "aggression".

It is important to never let your parrot believe you are mates in the first place, even though it means you are more restricted in where and how you can touch them.

Interact with and include in daily life? Sure. Many parrots want to be included in flock activities and will be upset if they can hear stuff going on that they aren't involved in. Mine "helps" me wash up. Yesterday we dealt with a pile of junk mail - the humans sorted it and ripped addresses off envelopes and letters, we gave those to Leia, and and she shredded those into teeny bits of paper. You can use clicker training to teach a parrot tricks like targeting a stick, turning around, opening their wings and so on - this will also help you learn how to communicate with each other.

Ehhhhhh, it depends. Sometimes you can have hugs no problem. Some Birds don't mind. But yea your right many do not like hugs. It's the feeling of being trapped. But again this is a trust issue, and one that can take time where your bird feels comfortable, and you feel comfortable that the bird won't rip half your head off trying.
But absolutely spot on that birds want to be involved and feel part of the flock.
This is a hug!!.......

 

[jzarc17]

@Hawk12237 That is absolutely heart melting! It's is perfectly understandable that not all grey's are alike just like people. It would be really nice if I had a bird and it was affectionate in this way but not the end of the world if it isn't.

It's actually not impossible at all. It's an issue of trust and comfort level between you and your grey.
It took ohhh, 4-5 y rs before we both have a truely honest bond and trust with each other.
There's absolutely nothing I can't do with this grey. He's in tune with me, and I with it. I can check under his wings, I can flip him on his back on my chest and pet his head. Rides on my shoulder in truck, flies to me on command. But this all takes time, and lots of it. They soon reward you with all this in time. You just have to stay focused and disciplined with your bird. Learn your bird, study your bird, take notes of you need to, and ask questions to those that can help guide you if in doubt. In the end, you'll feel like you have a million dollar bird.
[/QUOTE]
One of many reasons why I'm attracted to having a parrot is in fact their life span, I find a lot of comfort in the thought that they will be with me for a very long time. The process of building and maintaining the relationship and the trust is my favorite part of having a pet. Like most people, it's very hard to loose a pet, they are individuals so they really can't be replaced so with that said I find comfort in hopefully spending my life with my bird

 

[cnyguy]

My CAG Scooter is mostly a hands-off parrot. She will ask for head scratches, but soon tires of them and lets me know by snapping at my finger. She does like to have me nearby so we can talk to each other, or make funny sounds back and forth. Scooter isn't all that playful and prefers playing alone with her toys, mostly ones she can chew on and destroy. She is definitely one of the independent Greys.

 

[Hawk12237]

My CAG Scooter is mostly a hands-off parrot. She will ask for head scratches, but soon tires of them and lets me know by snapping at my finger. She does like to have me nearby so we can talk to each other, or make funny sounds back and forth. Scooter isn't all that playful and prefers playing alone with her toys, mostly ones she can chew on and destroy. She is definitely one of the independent Greys.

Some are like that actually. All my tags were male and very out spoken, loved attention, and being held.
I had a female Cag in past I acquired as a surrender from an elderly person that had developed serious medical issues, and had to say good bye to her grey. It was an older grey in its 50's... She was a hands off Grey, wasn't fond of being picked up, though would. But also very independent.
I oftened wondered if it was just a inner characteristic between males and females. But then I could be way off on that one. It may have just been it's up bringing too. I don't know.

 

[jzarc17]

I oftened wondered if it was just a inner characteristic between males and females. But then I could be way off on that one. It may have just been it's up bringing too. I don't know.

This is another question I have had about grey's (not sure if I should start a new thread on this), you talk above about differences between males and females. Do people prefer one over the other? If so if there any factual difference in temperament between the two?

 

[jzarc17]

Ehhhhhh, it depends. Sometimes you can have hugs no problem. Some Birds don't mind. But yea your right many do not like hugs. It's the feeling of being trapped. But again this is a trust issue, and one that can take time where your bird feels comfortable, and you feel comfortable that the bird won't rip half your head off trying.
But absolutely spot on that birds want to be involved and feel part of the flock.
This is a hug!!....... View attachment 337612
View attachment 337609

I love the beautiful pictures on your babies! Thank you for sharing them!!!

 

[Clueless]

One of many reasons why I'm attracted to having a parrot is in fact their life span, I find a lot of comfort in the thought that they will be with me for a very long time. The process of building and maintaining the relationship and the trust is my favorite part of having a pet. Like most people, it's very hard to loose a pet, they are individuals so they really can't be replaced so with that said I find comfort in hopefully spending my life with my bird

I went into ownership of two amazons (rescued) without knowing anything about birds.

I fell head over heels in love with MC and was secure in the knowledge that they had long, long lives.

A tumor and cancer shortened his life.

Sorry to bring you down but want you to realize that sometimes things happen beyond our control.

 

[jzarc17]

I went into ownership of two amazons (rescued) without knowing anything about birds.

I fell head over heels in love with MC and was secure in the knowledge that they had long, long lives.

A tumor and cancer shortened his life.

Sorry to bring you down but want you to realize that sometimes things happen beyond our control.

You are 100% correct, things can certainly happen that we don't see coming and we can't stop from happening I'm sorry to hear about your sad experience, I'm sure that was heart breaking!