URGENT HELP PLEASE

[MommyBird]

Goodness now half the board has to stop letting their bird out one week out of the month!

News to you too, huh?

 

[zoo mom]

Goodness now half the board has to stop letting their bird out one week out of the month!

You mean I wasn't supposed to let my birds out during that time of the month.

I have 4 male birds one of which is a cockatoo. Their behavior was no different during that time of month or for that matter when I went through menopause and my hormones were all over the place.

 

[PufF]

Hmmm...so that sentence that I have been hearing for half my life was a myth.
Also Johnson update,he be sad on a perch in his bare cage except for a few toys that Lucy actually bothered to buy.

 

[rocky'smom]

When the sh*t hits the fan, and it will, you will be the first call she makes. Be prepared to either help, take this bird and keep it, or help facilitate finding it a real home.

I'll third that statement. I've worked with toos, some are angels but after working around Ralph, I would never own one, for as much as I love them.

 

[tka]

Hmmm...so that sentence that I have been hearing for half my life was a myth.
Also Johnson update,he be sad on a perch in his bare cage except for a few toys that Lucy actually bothered to buy.

Surely that's a good thing? Lucy has bought him some toys. She saw that his previous toys weren't suitable and got him some new ones.I don't know why you felt the need to add on "bothered to buy".

I must say that you sound very, very judgemental. More worryingly, you are perpetuating myths and untruths that have a direct impact on Johnson's care. There are many women on this forum who have successfully kept male cockatoos, but by giving Lucy this totally inaccurate information, you will probably prevent her from giving Johnson the time outside his cage that he needs.

If you want to genuinely help Lucy and Johnson, lose the judgemental attitude and be ready and willing to help them. Lucy doesn't need someone to interrogate or judge her and her decisions. I know you're frustrated but it's vital that you do not alienate her, and for her to know that she can come to you when she runs into problems. That means that you must encourage her in the steps she's making to improve Johnson's life - like buying toys for him. If she truly wants to learn, you must support that.

 

[finchly]

Do you think that maybe after buying a bird and a cage she didn't have a lot left for toys? Or maybe didn't find the toys she was looking for? Or wanted to see what he liked first?

 

[HolliDaze]

She is a female so she'll have the time of the month

Being a female and having “the time of the month” has nothing to do with having a cockatoo. I have a cockatoo myself, and being a female, I resent the idea that gender has anything To do with someone’s ability to care for any bird.

It’s sexist And from my experience, that isn’t allowed here.

 

[MiniMacaw]

Hearing something for a long time doesn’t make it true. For example, many people still think a pit bulls jaw “locks” when in fact it does not. Same for a woman having her period affecting anything about owning a parrot. 100% false.
Every bird has a hormonal time and every birds experience with that is unique to that bird. My period does not affect my birds in any way. Being sad does, because then my macaw is sad for me. Being angry does because then he feels that too. But shedding my uterine lining plays no part and like most myths, it shouldn’t be perpetuated.
I understand venting here. But this is also a forum to learn on for everyone and we all started somewhere. Seems buying some toys is a good thing.

 

[Tanya]

Hearing something for a long time doesn’t make it true. For example, many people still think a pit bulls jaw “locks” when in fact it does not. Same for a woman having her period affecting anything about owning a parrot. 100% false.
Every bird has a hormonal time and every birds experience with that is unique to that bird. My period does not affect my birds in any way. Being sad does, because then my macaw is sad for me. Being angry does because then he feels that too. But shedding my uterine lining plays no part and like most myths, it shouldn’t be perpetuated.
I understand venting here. But this is also a forum to learn on for everyone and we all started somewhere. Seems buying some toys is a good thing.

You made me chuckle! And I agree.

@umbrella Some women do legitimately have health trouble around a certain time of month (incapacitating pain being a major symptom). But as far as cycles are concerned, I think that my birds are significantly more dangerous when visited by the hormone monster than I have ever been... And just because Lucy thinks he's a beauty as her starting point doesn't automatically make her a bad owner. I must say that looks are a big part of how I started in birds. Those little pumpkin ears on cockatiels are just so cute! Shoot... Even with how you have presented the story, it seems she is listening somewhat. She bought him a few toys.
I would like to encourage you to take a breath and remain calm... Your desire to make sure Johnson has a good place to land is admirable. And you are in a place where the deep power of a kind word or gentle encouragement toward Lucy could help her go from a (possibly) superficial decision to a dedicated lifetime caregiver. She is young enough that she could give him the forever home he needs. Now that she has actually bought him, you might want to consider how to help her keep with it through the hard times to come. And resist the urge to say "See I told you!" when she feels discouraged.

 

[PufF]

Ok,then! And I do see her improving after I forcefully shoved her a bunch of cockatoo facts and stories and such when I dropped by yesterday.When I was there today,though Johnson is still in said cage,I do see some pellets,fruits and veggies in there too.
I'm not sure about the cage issue though.I do hope that she changes it soon.

 

[Karen]

I forcefully shoved her a bunch of cockatoo facts and stories and such

 

[PufF]

So I basically printed them out,stapled them and they go on her face...

 

[tka]

Teaching people is literally my job. What you're doing is outstandingly bad pedagogy. If you want someone to learn, you don't "forcefully shove" material at them. You don't print out a bunch of stuff and demand they read it. All this does it create resentment. If you did this to me, I would think you were an insuffrable know-it-all and it would not make me want to go to you if I or my parrot needed help.

Think about everything you know about working with animals. Think about positive reinforcement - if you don't know much about this, I highly recommend reading up on it. If you were trying to teach a bird a new thing, you would go slowly and reward every little baby step, no matter how small it is. You would encourage the bird's curiosity. You would create the conditions for them to want to do the thing, whether it's stepping up or playing with a new toy or learning a trick. You would never, ever force them into doing something they were uncomfortable with or didn't want to do. Forcing them to do something destroys trust.

Now, think about how you're treating Lucy. She's already on a heck of a steep learning curve; she's got this big, complicated bird with an unknown history, she maybe doesn't have much money after buying him, and, crucially, she is trying to do right by him. She learnt that he needs toys - so she got him toys. Maybe she's trying to work out what sort of toys he likes. She knows he needs fresh foods - so she's giving him fruit and vegetables. She knows he needs a better diet than seeds - so she's bought him pellets.

Perhaps these are tiny steps to you. But they are still steps, and Lucy should be praised for them. She's trying to do her best and that's a great start.

The other thing to do is feed Lucy's curiosity. At some level, she is curious about this big white feathered guy that she's brought him. We've already seen that she's trying to take care of him and give him the care he needs. She's obviously trying to learn about him. Again, this is a great start! Curiosity is something that a good teacher can work with. Even if the student doesn't know much, you can feed that curiosity. You can encourage them to ask questions. You must never, ever judge a question as being dumb or stupid - and believe me, I've had practice at answering those sorts of question. Your responses must be patient, and kind, and collaborative.

Your approach must always be to work out where your student is now, and how you can guide them to a better understanding. You do this by working with them, not by forcing them. If I shoved a journal article at some of my most resistant students when they asked a question and told them to just read the paper, they won't go away and read the paper. They also won't engage with any of my classes, and they won't come to me if they need help. However, if I sit down with them and we go through a concept that they're struggling with together, they have a much better chance of learning something.

Think of this as an opportunity for you to become a better communicator and to share your love for cockatoos.

 

[Nancy B]

This is really too bad M2 are such beautiful birds, is there a rescue in your area if this doesn't work out? Or a sanctuary? This poor bird is obviously not happy.

 

[Nancy B]

Surely that's a good thing? Lucy has bought him some toys. She saw that his previous toys weren't suitable and got him some new ones.I don't know why you felt the need to add on "bothered to buy".

I must say that you sound very, very judgemental. More worryingly, you are perpetuating myths and untruths that have a direct impact on Johnson's care. There are many women on this forum who have successfully kept male cockatoos, but by giving Lucy this totally inaccurate information, you will probably prevent her from giving Johnson the time outside his cage that he needs.

If you want to genuinely help Lucy and Johnson, lose the judgemental attitude and be ready and willing to help them. Lucy doesn't need someone to interrogate or judge her and her decisions. I know you're frustrated but it's vital that you do not alienate her, and for her to know that she can come to you when she runs into problems. That means that you must encourage her in the steps she's making to improve Johnson's life - like buying toys for him. If she truly wants to learn, you must support that.

I think I would definitely help your friend no matter what, if you don't or if she decides to shut you out, the poor bird is only going to suffer for it. Right now he probably looks sad because he's in a strange place, he's got some new toys, she can leave some fresh foods (I use greens, galahs like them dried too) in a couple different areas of his cage. She can leave the cage door open so he can come out and sit on the cage top. If there's no cage top perch, you can put a flat fieldstone on the top of the cage for him to sit on. Just an idea for an easy quick fix for right now. My guess is he'll be quiet for a while. Mine was, although Fred is a different bird, some things aren't that different....

 

[MommyBird]

Teaching people is literally my job. What you're doing is outstandingly bad pedagogy. If you want someone to learn, you don't "forcefully shove" material at them. You don't print out a bunch of stuff and demand they read it. All this does it create resentment. If you did this to me, I would think you were an insuffrable know-it-all and it would not make me want to go to you if I or my parrot needed help.

Think about everything you know about working with animals. Think about positive reinforcement - if you don't know much about this, I highly recommend reading up on it. If you were trying to teach a bird a new thing, you would go slowly and reward every little baby step, no matter how small it is. You would encourage the bird's curiosity. You would create the conditions for them to want to do the thing, whether it's stepping up or playing with a new toy or learning a trick. You would never, ever force them into doing something they were uncomfortable with or didn't want to do. Forcing them to do something destroys trust.

Now, think about how you're treating Lucy. She's already on a heck of a steep learning curve; she's got this big, complicated bird with an unknown history, she maybe doesn't have much money after buying him, and, crucially, she is trying to do right by him. She learnt that he needs toys - so she got him toys. Maybe she's trying to work out what sort of toys he likes. She knows he needs fresh foods - so she's giving him fruit and vegetables. She knows he needs a better diet than seeds - so she's bought him pellets.

Perhaps these are tiny steps to you. But they are still steps, and Lucy should be praised for them. She's trying to do her best and that's a great start.

The other thing to do is feed Lucy's curiosity. At some level, she is curious about this big white feathered guy that she's brought him. We've already seen that she's trying to take care of him and give him the care he needs. She's obviously trying to learn about him. Again, this is a great start! Curiosity is something that a good teacher can work with. Even if the student doesn't know much, you can feed that curiosity. You can encourage them to ask questions. You must never, ever judge a question as being dumb or stupid - and believe me, I've had practice at answering those sorts of question. Your responses must be patient, and kind, and collaborative.

Your approach must always be to work out where your student is now, and how you can guide them to a better understanding. You do this by working with them, not by forcing them. If I shoved a journal article at some of my most resistant students when they asked a question and told them to just read the paper, they won't go away and read the paper. They also won't engage with any of my classes, and they won't come to me if they need help. However, if I sit down with them and we go through a concept that they're struggling with together, they have a much better chance of learning something.

Think of this as an opportunity for you to become a better communicator and to share your love for cockatoos.

such a great post, in addition to your other ones on this thread. I hope Umbrella will read them several times.
He needs to remember this woman will accept his words better if those words are flavored with honey and not with vinegar. yes, positive reinforcement should be used with both birds and people.

 

[Karen]

So I basically printed them out,stapled them and they go on her face...

I am speechless.

Teaching people is literally my job. What you're doing is outstandingly bad pedagogy. If you want someone to learn, you don't "forcefully shove" material at them. You don't print out a bunch of stuff and demand they read it. All this does it create resentment. If you did this to me, I would think you were an insuffrable know-it-all and it would not make me want to go to you if I or my parrot needed help.

Think about everything you know about working with animals. Think about positive reinforcement - if you don't know much about this, I highly recommend reading up on it. If you were trying to teach a bird a new thing, you would go slowly and reward every little baby step, no matter how small it is. You would encourage the bird's curiosity. You would create the conditions for them to want to do the thing, whether it's stepping up or playing with a new toy or learning a trick. You would never, ever force them into doing something they were uncomfortable with or didn't want to do. Forcing them to do something destroys trust.

Now, think about how you're treating Lucy. She's already on a heck of a steep learning curve; she's got this big, complicated bird with an unknown history, she maybe doesn't have much money after buying him, and, crucially, she is trying to do right by him. She learnt that he needs toys - so she got him toys. Maybe she's trying to work out what sort of toys he likes. She knows he needs fresh foods - so she's giving him fruit and vegetables. She knows he needs a better diet than seeds - so she's bought him pellets.

Perhaps these are tiny steps to you. But they are still steps, and Lucy should be praised for them. She's trying to do her best and that's a great start.

The other thing to do is feed Lucy's curiosity. At some level, she is curious about this big white feathered guy that she's brought him. We've already seen that she's trying to take care of him and give him the care he needs. She's obviously trying to learn about him. Again, this is a great start! Curiosity is something that a good teacher can work with. Even if the student doesn't know much, you can feed that curiosity. You can encourage them to ask questions. You must never, ever judge a question as being dumb or stupid - and believe me, I've had practice at answering those sorts of question. Your responses must be patient, and kind, and collaborative.

Your approach must always be to work out where your student is now, and how you can guide them to a better understanding. You do this by working with them, not by forcing them. If I shoved a journal article at some of my most resistant students when they asked a question and told them to just read the paper, they won't go away and read the paper. They also won't engage with any of my classes, and they won't come to me if they need help. However, if I sit down with them and we go through a concept that they're struggling with together, they have a much better chance of learning something.

Think of this as an opportunity for you to become a better communicator and to share your love for cockatoos.

What a wonderful post! Thank you for taking the time to do that. I wanted to say something but was short on time and short on positive reinforcement this morning.

I hope this helps umbrella to help Lucy to help Johnson.

 

[finchly]

@tka that was a GREAT post! Thank you for taking the time to write it.

@umbrella you need to get this gal onto the Avenue so we can help you help her.

 

[Tiel Feathers]

Teaching people is literally my job. What you're doing is outstandingly bad pedagogy. If you want someone to learn, you don't "forcefully shove" material at them. You don't print out a bunch of stuff and demand they read it. All this does it create resentment. If you did this to me, I would think you were an insuffrable know-it-all and it would not make me want to go to you if I or my parrot needed help.

Think about everything you know about working with animals. Think about positive reinforcement - if you don't know much about this, I highly recommend reading up on it. If you were trying to teach a bird a new thing, you would go slowly and reward every little baby step, no matter how small it is. You would encourage the bird's curiosity. You would create the conditions for them to want to do the thing, whether it's stepping up or playing with a new toy or learning a trick. You would never, ever force them into doing something they were uncomfortable with or didn't want to do. Forcing them to do something destroys trust.

Now, think about how you're treating Lucy. She's already on a heck of a steep learning curve; she's got this big, complicated bird with an unknown history, she maybe doesn't have much money after buying him, and, crucially, she is trying to do right by him. She learnt that he needs toys - so she got him toys. Maybe she's trying to work out what sort of toys he likes. She knows he needs fresh foods - so she's giving him fruit and vegetables. She knows he needs a better diet than seeds - so she's bought him pellets.

Perhaps these are tiny steps to you. But they are still steps, and Lucy should be praised for them. She's trying to do her best and that's a great start.

The other thing to do is feed Lucy's curiosity. At some level, she is curious about this big white feathered guy that she's brought him. We've already seen that she's trying to take care of him and give him the care he needs. She's obviously trying to learn about him. Again, this is a great start! Curiosity is something that a good teacher can work with. Even if the student doesn't know much, you can feed that curiosity. You can encourage them to ask questions. You must never, ever judge a question as being dumb or stupid - and believe me, I've had practice at answering those sorts of question. Your responses must be patient, and kind, and collaborative.

Your approach must always be to work out where your student is now, and how you can guide them to a better understanding. You do this by working with them, not by forcing them. If I shoved a journal article at some of my most resistant students when they asked a question and told them to just read the paper, they won't go away and read the paper. They also won't engage with any of my classes, and they won't come to me if they need help. However, if I sit down with them and we go through a concept that they're struggling with together, they have a much better chance of learning something.

Think of this as an opportunity for you to become a better communicator and to share your love for cockatoos.

Wow, what a fantastic, well written post!

And yes, I hope you can get Lucy to join AA. I know we would all love to help her.

 

[Bokkapooh]

This post is extremely sexist and I can't believe no one has called it out.

Time of month? Really? Are women unqualified for a cockatoo because we bleed and have that monstrous time of month?

Perhaps be more supporting and helpful to this lady? Instead of being condescending, help her. Be there for her when she might need help.

For all you and anyone knows, this woman could be what this cockatoo needs. She just needs some help to be that person for this bird.