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Stage of grief, rage, hormonal or lonely?

Clueless

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Secret is not her usual lovely snotty self.

It's been 7 weeks since MC passed away. Secret has not whistled once since then. Usually Secret would respond to hubby's whistles by whistling back.. . but stopped.

In the mornings I've heard bells and seen Secret under a bell toy in her cage.

Last night Secret actually charged me when I sat the bird on the floor with wood toys.

Anyone have experience with this?

With Covid, there's a human in the house much more than years ago.
 

iamwhoiam

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It's probably a combination of factors...missing MC, change in your schedules, hormones.
Casey has been lunging a lot lately and some days both in the AM and PM. Usually he is just grumpy in the AM so this PM lunging has been a change.
I have been home a lot more, too, and I've also been feeling grumpy so that could be affecting him as well as hormones.
I don't remember now but did she directly interact with MC or did they sort of not get along with one another? Even if they didn't get along she still would have seen and heard MC.
 

Clueless

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They were in the same room but different cages for many years. In our home, they saw each other from across the dining room.

They did opera together.... when one stopped, the other started.
 

Monaco

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I'm not sure, but Monaco is different since Theo has been gone. It's just two weeks, but there's a range of things that she just doesn't say, and some she says more often (where's my Sam?) and she's pretty volatile.
 

iamwhoiam

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They were in the same room but different cages for many years. In our home, they saw each other from across the dining room.

They did opera together.... when one stopped, the other started.
Do you ever put opera music on for her? Maybe she would like that.
 

Clueless

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Do you ever put opera music on for her? Maybe she would like that.
I call it opera. It's musical anyway. Occasionally radio is on but no real reaction. I don't want to play a clip of them I have right now because I'm afraid it would hurt her.
 

aooratrix

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I think it’s loss. :(. Give Secret time.
 

Rain Bow

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I have had some sort of correlation to this... When my Dad passed Buddy was healthy but I wasn't aware of what all his needs were. (Single owner of a Zon & the only human that Buddy knew, too Buddy my Dad was another Zon probably)

So maybe 6-8 months after coming here, when we'd play certain kinds of music Buddy would stop & then be extra happy, extra sad or mean. My Dad was an Audiophile. Most of the music was either 50's to 70's classic rock, or Electric music. Certain songs would teeter him one way or the other. I realized it was usually what my husband listened to which was the 50's-70's stuff. Once my husband turned it into his & Buddy's thing... Music for Buddy became a fun thing again. There is more to this story but basically it became a good thing!

I think that Secret is greiving in a way even tho they were not best friends it was another floof that knew Secrets language. I'd call (if you can) & talk to the vet. I'm not sure what would be your best course of action other than no one knows Secret better than you guys. It will get easier for Secret in time hopefully. I wonder if something as simple as a Skype video call w/ another Zon owner may not cushion the grief somehow.

(((Gentle hugs from :tucuman:Buddy & I)))
 

Hankmacaw

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I don't want to play a clip of them I have right now because I'm afraid it would hurt her.
I would say don't - Jasper gets upset, to this day, if she hears or see a video of Hank. They can't tell the difference between pictures and reality. Jasper grieved deeply for about six months.
 

Monaco

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I wish I knew what sparks Monaco's memories of her lost friends. Sometimes she has a happy sound to her voice when she's talking about Sam (dog) and tuxedo (cag she grew up with and lost 8 years ago) but others sound and look very sad. She definitely muses about both more in the evenings. After Theo left us it seemed like she was using her vocabulary to talk about him (Sam) or just reminded more about the loss of Sam...I don't know which, but either is so very sad. Mostly the absence of her usual banter associated with Theo was striking and profoundly sad too. I would put money on the bulk of it being grief. Monaco is gnawing her wings to nubs, and it's heartbreaking and frustrating. New things are helping...tonight we're going to stay in the garden at dusk to watch fireflies.

I feel awful for you and secret.
 

Mockinbirdiva

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Same as you had it for Secret and MC.. Lola and Henry are in the same room in separate cages. They do feed off of each other in vocal sounds and actions. If one makes a certain sound then the other will follow... it could be a concerned sound, a anxious sound, if Lola starts it Henry will follow and do the same. Same thing with a little nasty behavior. Seems to be all vocal cues they understand of each other. I can see how Secret would have a quiet period for an unspecified time until she becomes more relaxed with her new "normal" without the sight or sounds of MC. I wouldn't play any clips of MC to remind her and let her continue to adjust to being the single bird. She will. Give her more shredding activities, white noise, tv, radio to fill the void of sounds from MC. Mine are both in the surge of hormones right now, tail flaring and pinning, floor wannabe attacks from Henry ( thank goodness for my plexi divider on the floor). Lola wants me to pet her but now she doesn't floof her head feathers forward for a scritch... she keeps the feathers flattened, leans horizontal and starts clucking. No petting right now and it makes her pretty mad I won't touch her. So... she's lurching trying to bite as I walk past her. Ugh... hormones. I'm not surprised she charged you on the floor. Try divert it with different foot toys or a favorite hand held veggie for her. I have to give Henry something to do to take his focus off of me when I'm changing papers for Lola. He likes sugar snap peas, inch thick dowels cut into 2 inch sections, those white cookie pop sticks.... basically anything shreddable. Almonds in the shell are great too... or any good nut in the shell to have to crack to eat.
 

Leih

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It's pretty surprising how they bond even if they don't get along. I recently took my linnies out onto my balcony for some sun and they proceeded to flock call for my other birds, who they don't even get along with! So they definitely are more sensitive than I think we may realize. I'm sorry for your loss and hopefully Secret will be back to normal soon.
 

Clueless

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They do feed off of each other in vocal sounds and actions. If one makes a certain sound then the other will follow... it could be a concerned sound, a anxious sound,

if Lola starts it Henry will follow and do the same.

Mine are both in the surge of hormones right now, tail flaring and pinning, floor wannabe attacks

doesn't floof her head feathers forward for a scritch... she keeps the feathers flattened, leans horizontal and starts clucking.
So basically, Secret is normal!!!

Thank you!!!
 

Mockinbirdiva

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So basically, Secret is normal!!!

Thank you!!!
As normal as an amazon can be.....:D

I do think there's comfort in presence even if there's no contact between birds. An amazon kept singularly only knows life as a solitary bird and while they may not seek touchy companionship from care takers they live by routine and at the least have an interest in what goes on around them. It may take her a long time to adjust and grieve so without knowing how her days go or what routine you have, I'd suggest introducing a couple of new routines. The one thing I did with Henry in particular was to give him that one piece of something destructable to occupy him. Those items I mentioned earlier worked well but after months they've become old news and don't hold his attention long enough. I have some of those coin wrappers I need to fill with an item that will take more time for him to destroy. Hanging a toy for him to destroy hasn't worked for me as much as giving him a "gift". He becomes too territorial over a big toy. He's not one to tinker with a toy, it's all out destruction in a not so nice way. Plus, it's one more thing he has to be protective of when I'm in his space. If Secret loves to play with her toys on the floor you might make a circle of small wood beads with a toy in the center of them... or a ring of cooked peas with something small shreddable in the center even if it's a 1 inch hard block of wood. With something new to make her think about it, interest to explore it, may divert her from concentrating more on a floor attack when her focus is changed. In time she will look forward to it and hopefully a new routine or two will help her move on from what she misses in the shared company of MC. It has helped to defuse the charged energy Henry can have at times. I gotta put my thinking cap on a come up with some new stuff!!!! ( especially since the hormones are just getting cranked up)
 
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