Should I tell her?

[allison]

Should I tell Maddie's previous guardian about her passing?
Part of me doesn't want to say anything because I want to save her the heartache, but then I think, if I were her would I want to know?
I have given her updates on how she is doing ever few months. She really loved Maddie but was going through some medical procedures and Maddie did not like her husband who would have been her primary caregiver.
What would you do in my shoes?
I'm thinking that if she asks I will tell her but if she doesn't than she doesn't have to know. Not because I want to hide it from her but because I want to save her from the pain of losing a friend.

 

[birdman78]

WOW, tough call. I really have no idea what I would do. What ever you decide to do, will be the right thing.

 

[Danita]

I would tell her Allison. We all have hurts, and we learn to deal with them. I would want someone to tell me. She died from something out of anyones control.
You two can share your grief together.

 

[allison]

I just don't know how sick her old owner is. She didn't really tell me the details, so I'm worried that she doesn't need this on top of everything else she is going through right now.

 

[CeddysMum]

It's a difficult decision and hard to tell what I really would do in the same situation.

Having said that, I do think I'd tell her. I was on the other side of the coin with my TAG who I had to rehome many years ago when migrating to Australia, and my brother-in-law did tell me shortly after my TAG died of an infection (his sister-in-law was the TAG's new mum).

Even though I was very sick at the time with severe depression/anxiety I really did appreciate that I was told very soon after. I'd have hated to find out later that I'd been thinking of my darling Eddie, and all that time he'd already crossed the rainbow bridge.

In any case, whatever you decide, I'm sure it's the right thing in YOUR situation!

 

[Birdiemarie]

If you've been regularly updating her then I think it's a good thing to tell her. Relating some endearing memories you have and how you so enjoyed taking care of Maddie may make her smile and sharing the grief may help you both.

 

[crazyanimal]

I agree, I would also tell her. You both loved her, so you both have a right to mourn her. If you don't update her in a few months, and then tell her, she might be upset that you never told her sooner.

As said above, you both can share this time together and support each other. I am sure she will be very understanding when she knows there wasn't anything you or anyone else could have done for her.

I've had to share 2 of mine's passing with previous owners. That was very difficult but I also kept them updated on them and felt I should let them know this too. It went better then expected.

 

[allison]

I sent her an email. I will let you know her response.

 

[allison]

Here's her response.
That is so, so sad. She was a very sweet little girl. I am so sorry for your loss Allie. But I do have comfort in knowing that you took such great care of her and loved her so so much. And I know she knew that too. I was just telling my sister about
the pictures you had sent me and how she would crawl up under your shirt and then stick her little head out the top, like she was being so sneaky. Well, I will celebrate her short little life and the joy that she brought me. Again, I am so sorry. I know how much
you love birds and what little Maddie meant to you. Thank you for letting me know that she passed. I appreciate that and you. God Bless!

 

[Emmilyy]

She sounds like a very sweet lady, and i think you did the right thing by telling her

 

[Danita]

Here's her response.
That is so, so sad. She was a very sweet little girl. I am so sorry for your loss Allie. But I do have comfort in knowing that you took such great care of her and loved her so so much. And I know she knew that too. I was just telling my sister about
the pictures you had sent me and how she would crawl up under your shirt and then stick her little head out the top, like she was being so sneaky. Well, I will celebrate her short little life and the joy that she brought me. Again, I am so sorry. I know how much
you love birds and what little Maddie meant to you. Thank you for letting me know that she passed. I appreciate that and you. God Bless!

That made me cry for her again

You did a good thing, she understood and was able to offer you reassurance.

It is so hard Allison, you have been through so much with your birds lately and you are a strong girl dealing with the losses. You are a wonderful bird mom and any bird would be lucky coming to stay with you. I really admire that you gave a wonderful home to a bird that was loved in another home. You gave her comfort, knowing that her little bird was loved and very well cared for.

You are an asset to the animal community, we need more young people like you

 

[Birdiemarie]

I'm glad you told her and even more glad she appreciated it and you.

 

[Quest]

Allison,
You did the right thing. I agree with Danita,
you are a responsible young woman.
Judy

 

[crazyanimal]

That is so wonderful that you emailed her and told her. Most people, given the benefit of the doubt are very good.

 

[allison]

I do think I made the right decision. Thanks guys.

That made me cry for her again

You did a good thing, she understood and was able to offer you reassurance.

It is so hard Allison, you have been through so much with your birds lately and you are a strong girl dealing with the losses. You are a wonderful bird mom and any bird would be lucky coming to stay with you. I really admire that you gave a wonderful home to a bird that was loved in another home. You gave her comfort, knowing that her little bird was loved and very well cared for.

You are an asset to the animal community, we need more young people like you

Thank you so much Danita.

 

[Thugluvgrl187]

I agree that telling her was the right thing.

 

[birdlover82]

Looks like you made the right choice.

 

[Lovebird]

Aww, you must feel so relieved... you are both good people.

 

[Daisy's Mom]

Wow what a nice letter she wrote you back... See you did the right thing in telling her.. She knew how much you loved Maddie...

 

[Eliza]

I'm glad that you told her, Allison -- I know that it wasn't easy.

*hugs*