Should i rehome?

[ScreamBuddies]

Yes, I know that with getting a bird this is exactly what i signed up for. I took the responsibility and prepared for it well.

I initially wanted a male cockatiel. I fell in love with one that had to be rehomed, due to the family moving. The post also mentioned 2 female cockatiels and some budgies. They were past pets, young at around a year old and the male was said to be particularily friendly. I thought it was perfect. I came to their place with money and a box, ready to rehome what seemed to be the perfect bird. Until i arroved, that is. Turns out, the bird was bonded with one of the females. It was a matter of take both or seperate them and drag them though depression and seperation issues. I wasnt prepared for two, but because i already fell in love with the bird, i returned with a pair.


Timeskip to today, in a month itll be a year with them. Daily reading books, treats, talking and out of cage time, i made it a promise to myself to spend atleast 15 mins daily with them. But now, theyre just kinda...there. I still provide out of cage time, fresh food and water, vegetables and fruits and grass every other day. But I just dont bond with them anymore. They became stressed and aggressive. The cause? The baby that I failed to prevent and they failed to raise. I spend every minute with him. Hes an absolute sweetheart. Fully feathered, hes now able to sit outside his warmed shoebox for very long. My online lessons? Hes with me. Video games? Hes with me. Drawing? Yep, right there on my lap. I just cant find interest in the old birds anymore when I have this sweet, fully tame bird right here with me.


Call me cruel, heartless, irresponsible, im all of those things. I want to love them and give them a good home but im not able to. This is not their fault and they deserve so much more.


So, the question remains: rehome? Ive been thinking this over so much. Im attached to them, gave them names, bonded with them. I thought theyll be my lifelong friends. Ill be getting married and theyll be there with me. But apparently, a little bird changed that. A bird that they brought into the world by nothing but instinct. I am so horribly heartbroken and mad at myself, but i just cant bring myself to spend time with them anymore.

Please give me advice.

 

[Zara]

I have read this post a couple of times and I wasn´t going to respond.

However, we have some similarities;
-We both have parents and their offspring living in our homes.
-We both do not have very close bond with the parent/s.

So let me tell you about Aldora, who is mummy hen to a few of my birds, and what our relationship is like.
She sings her own song, she does her own thing, she doesn´t come to me often and when she does, rarely to my hand. If I get in her space, she will attack me. Her bites hurt. She also abandoned one chick. She does not enjoy toys very much but she does do well with foraging activities.
I let her out of her cage daily and enjoy seeing her fly around the room, forage on the play stand, and snuggle with Jaime. It warms my heart to see her interact with her young, though not all interactions are positive. She prefers her bird company over human company.
Because she does not come to my hand, and because she is the way she is, I feel a great sense of acheivement when she does. The feeling is fantastic. It is the ultimate reward, a sign of trust from such an insecure bird.
She will never be that snuggly bird. She will never be that bird who wants scritches on her head. But I don´t care about those things, as long as she is happy. And it does come into my mind sometimes whether she would be happier somewhere else... and after much pondering, I think she is happy here.
She has her family here and is loved and respected here.
She is not loved any less than her ¨tame¨ chicks, nor does she receive any less than them. She gets flight time, the same food as them, new toys when they get new toys, treats when they get treats. Actually, by a couple of inches, she lives in my largest cage.
We do not have a close bond, but we do have a relationship.

This is not their fault and they deserve so much more.

Correct.

So, the question remains: rehome?

Only you can answer that question.

 

[SkyLark]

Call me cruel, heartless, irresponsible,

Nope I will not. Reading that sentence is reminding me of how badly Corky used to be cared for. By me. Back then, I didn't have any clue whatsoever how to care for a bird. I'd rather not go into details, but now that I'm a whole lot more educated, Corky is getting the care he needs. I'd say it's your call. If you think they will do better in another home, then rehome. But if you can make sure they are happy, it doesn't matter if they are hand tame or not. Just that they are happy and healthy. Can you let them out of the cage while you spend time with the little guy? That way perhaps they will feel included in daily activities.

 

[ScreamBuddies]

@Zara @SkyLark Thank you for sharing your experiances. But I just feel so bad for them. I never had any pets of my own. Growing up we had some pets but they were always mostly my brother's. I was so happy to finally adopt birds, i promised that I will provide the best care for them, because my care is the only care theyll get. I just feel like im throwing away a toy I got bored of

 

[webchirp]

I have a flock of conures. I have a few that have no use for me. But they are happy and play...eat well and are safe. You do not need to provide attention as you do the baby if that is what the parents want. Are you unhappy because you feel that you must tame them and cannot? Having a safe place, with a bit of time out or a giant cage and proper care are sometimes the best thing for a bonded, untame pair. Do not feel guilty that you cannot handle them. But if you can provide the things to keep them healthy in life, they should be able to keep themselves happy.

 

[Ali]

Having a safe place, with a bit of time out or a giant cage and proper care are sometimes the best thing for a bonded, untame pair.

That's how my parrotlets work.

They are a strongly bonded pair, but not very tame. I do spend time with them and they get to come out, but not to the stage of coming to you. I love having them around. They get proper care and are perfectly fine. I often give them the opportunity to come out and sometimes they don't. I know to work on their terms. They are lovely birdies!

 

[tka]

Bear in mind also that at the moment, you have a baby. All babies are sweet, malleable and what we might think of as "tame", mostly because they haven't really developed independence yet. Your sweet baby will grow more independent, hit puberty, and discover wants of their own which might not align with yours. Your relationship will inevitably change as they reach adolescence and adulthood. I don't want you to set yourself up for disappointment when your sweet baby decides that they'd rather do something else than sit next to you, or doesn't want to be touched, or wants to do their own thing.

 

[finchly]

Rehoming is so hard. You wonder all the time if you did the right things.

You’ve gotten some good advice in this thread. I wonder if you can afford to provide vet care for all 3? The cost might help you make the decision.

Let me just share this with you.
I adopted 2 birds from the local rescue. They are extremely wild and will never be tame. I’m providing a cage, toys and food. They get out of cage time. I enjoy watching them. We don’t really have a relationship and I’m okay with that. There are other birds at my house that I do have a relationship with. I got them so that I could provide for them not so I could get anything from them, you know?

 

[Little bit]

I too have 1 rescue and I have tried to tame her and get her used to me, no such luck. She was in an outside aviary for a few years and only received food and water, little human interaction. The owner wanted to release her and give her freedom and I say I would take her. She has bonded with my 5 year old parakeet through a cage divider and they are both happy. In the mornings they both sing and they are mostly next to one another. The other parakeet sounds like a wild bird because she communicated with them. But, she will never bond with me. I am glad she likes my other parakeet because they both have company and are happy. Joanne