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my best friend is no more

plax

Sitting on the front steps
Joined
2/27/23
Messages
19
Zaffer, my beautiful companion of 18 years, passed away one week ago (February 20). He had developed fibrosarcoma and his condition began to rapidly decline the day prior his passing. I had him euthanized. While it seemed to be time, part of me still opposes my decision on that day. I won't go into just 'why' here, but I've been feeling elements of guilt among my devastating grief, sense of irreplaceable loss, and overwhelming sadness. There are voids in my heart and soul now that will forever remain. I miss my special blue boy so very much :sad1: He was everything to me!

Zaf was the sweetest, most gentle bird I've ever known. I wish more folks could have known him for the sweetheart he in fact was. We had an incredible bond. He would consistently refuse to sleep in the evenings unless he could sleep on my chest. He loved to dance, play, and cuddle. I've been hearing his happy sounds since his departure... yet he's nowhere in sight. I realize it's only my troubled mind. It's a haunting experience that I suppose I must learn to live with.

Albeit I feel broken, my Zaffer will persist as an integral element within me. My life would never have been the same without him in it. At the same time, my life will never be the same now that he's gone.

Goodbye, my sweet friend!

10300157_749287681780624_7104607096635128339_n.jpg
 

April

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Oh he's absolutely gorgeous. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. He sounds like a special one in a million boy. It's wonderful that you shared 18 special years together. I hope your happy memories of that time will help you to heal from his loss. I've been through this myself when I lost my heart bird Nala. It's been 5 years and I still miss her as deeply as if it just happened but it will get better as more time passes.
 

Pixiebeak

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What a beauty. Im.sorry for the loss of your special Zaffer.:sorrow:

Its with so much love that we make the decision to spare them pain .

You have definitely found people here that understand the bond and deep love
 

expressmailtome

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I am very sorry for your loss.
 

Spearmint

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Rest well Zaf,
After euthanasia, we will always have these "what ifs", "what if they got better?" "what if the vet was wrong?", it's just how our brain works, but you made the right decision, he was ready to go, and you knew that. He passed peacefully and he passed knowing he was so loved.
 

sunnysmom

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He was beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss.
 

Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss :(
 

zoo mom

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I am so sorry for your loss.
 

Icey

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He looks like a total sweetheart. So sorry for your loss of this gorgeous boy :sorrow:
 

Zara

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I´m very sorry for your loss :(
 

Kiwi's Dad

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I'm so sorry for your loss :sadhug2:
 

Tilly123

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I am so sorry for your loss. He is beautiful.
I also know this heartache after losing my Amazon, Mr Jingles. We were together through thick and thin...our bond was, and still is, unbreakable.
This was 4 years ago. I still feel him with me and I think you will too. A bond that strong never fades. It is so, so hard that they are not here in body. However, the fact that he is in your mind and heart will bring you happy memories of him for always.
I am thinking if you at this sad time.
 

plax

Sitting on the front steps
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Messages
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I am so sorry for your loss. He is beautiful.
I also know this heartache after losing my Amazon, Mr Jingles. We were together through thick and thin...our bond was, and still is, unbreakable.
This was 4 years ago. I still feel him with me and I think you will too. A bond that strong never fades. It is so, so hard that they are not here in body. However, the fact that he is in your mind and heart will bring you happy memories of him for always.
I am thinking if you at this sad time.
Thank you, Chrissie. Your words mean a lot! :sad1:
 

Clueless

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We made the decision to end MC's pain that way. His little body (he was an amazon) was invaded by cancer.

Like a quote I found, (can't recall the author name) we're harder on ourselves than we have any right to be.
 

plax

Sitting on the front steps
Joined
2/27/23
Messages
19
We made the decision to end MC's pain that way. His little body (he was an amazon) was invaded by cancer.

Like a quote I found, (can't recall the author name) we're harder on ourselves than we have any right to be.
Perhaps true. I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

Just-passn-thru

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Zaffer, my beautiful companion of 18 years, passed away one week ago (February 20). He had developed fibrosarcoma and his condition began to rapidly decline the day prior his passing. I had him euthanized. While it seemed to be time, part of me still opposes my decision on that day. I won't go into just 'why' here, but I've been feeling elements of guilt among my devastating grief, sense of irreplaceable loss, and overwhelming sadness. There are voids in my heart and soul now that will forever remain. I miss my special blue boy so very much :sad1: He was everything to me!

Zaf was the sweetest, most gentle bird I've ever known. I wish more folks could have known him for the sweetheart he in fact was. We had an incredible bond. He would consistently refuse to sleep in the evenings unless he could sleep on my chest. He loved to dance, play, and cuddle. I've been hearing his happy sounds since his departure... yet he's nowhere in sight. I realize it's only my troubled mind. It's a haunting experience that I suppose I must learn to live with.

Albeit I feel broken, my Zaffer will persist as an integral element within me. My life would never have been the same without him in it. At the same time, my life will never be the same now that he's gone.

Goodbye, my sweet friend!

View attachment 423956
My sincere condolences on the loss of beautiful Zaf .
Your heart is bleeding...
Gone to soon :sadhug::darkcloud:
 

plax

Sitting on the front steps
Joined
2/27/23
Messages
19
Thanks so much, Just-passn-thru.
 

Fuzzy

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I'm so very sorry for the loss of Zaf. He was/is absolutely beautiful. :sorrow:
 
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