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Missing Mango

JenA

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Jen Authier
Well I am so devastated upon realizing that an accident caused the death of my almost 4-year old green cheek, Mango. About 2 weeks ago he went missing, and I posted that I thought he flew away. After getting over the initial shock of him not being here, I now realize what actually happened. About 2 months prior to him missing, he got himself into an accident with his cage; he flew so hard into it that we believe that he wedged his head in between the rails, and when we found him he was on his perch but bleeding. We noticed that his eye was injured and bleeding around his beak. We helped him over the next few days by keeping the eye clean and keeping him comfortable. We called a vet which told us that’s about all we could do. But he couldn’t eat properly, so we made sure he drank and ate what he could. About a month later he was eating fine, the eye was healing and he was flying fine. Then aggressive behaviour started, biting, attacking people when they entered the room if he didn’t know them, and lots of nesting and regurgitating. All over everything. We figured it was hormonal and would pass. Then he found a dark place to go and hide all the time. The next thing we knew he had disappeared. No clues, nothing, just a hole in the floor of my husband’s hobby room which we figure he slipped down and died due to wanting to be alone. He was sick from his accident and we didn’t realize it! We thought it was hormones. I am sick with guilt, we loved him and it is too late to repair this. We cannot get under the house as the opening is way to shallow, so he died and decomposed down there by now. I am horrified and not sure how to move forward. We did not know enough bout bird behaviours. We did not educate ourselves well enough, and the more I read, the more I see how I did everything wrong. But he was loved while he was with us. How do I move on from this guilt. And I miss him so much. Cannot stop crying.
 

sunnysmom

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I am sorry for your loss. Accidents happen all the time unfortunately. The best we can do is learn from them. If you don't know for sure that's what happened, I would try not to think about it and drive yourself crazy with the what ifs. I know that's easier said than done. Try to focus on the good times and the loving home that you gave him. Also, I try to educate people whenever I can on proper bird care. So, that can be something you can try to do too.
 

QB1rd

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So sorry. Just remember that he was loved, and that accidents happen.
 

Tyrion

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So sorry for your loss :sorrow:
 

JenA

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Jen Authier
I am sorry for your loss. Accidents happen all the time unfortunately. The best we can do is learn from them. If you don't know for sure that's what happened, I would try not to think about it and drive yourself crazy with the what ifs. I know that's easier said than done. Try to focus on the good times and the loving home that you gave him. Also, I try to educate people whenever I can on proper bird care. So, that can be something you can try to do too.
Thank you so much. Yes, I have certainly learned a lot.
 

Nnbal

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I am so sorry for your loss :sorrow:
 

Yuki Shiro

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Stefan
It is both tragic and shocking and I send you my condolences and comfort.
You thought you did good! Thus don't blame yourself too much "I could have done this or that".
You did what you thought would be best.
You gave love and care.

You might consider to bury a favourite toy instead of him, as a sign; it may help to move forward.
It may also help (of course) to talk about all that with friends and maybe even a professional;
expressing it in art & writing, as it really seem hard for you.

:sadhug:
 

Tiel Feathers

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I’m so very sorry, we are all here for you. :sadhug2:
 

JenA

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Jen Authier
It is both tragic and shocking and I send you my condolences and comfort.
You thought you did good! Thus don't blame yourself too much "I could have done this or that".
You did what you thought would be best.
You gave love and care.

You might consider to bury a favourite toy instead of him, as a sign; it may help to move forward.
It may also help (of course) to talk about all that with friends and maybe even a professional;
expressing it in art & writing, as it really seem hard for you.

:sadhug:
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions.
 

Tilly123

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I am so sorry for your loss.
As Yuki Shiro said, ' You did what you thought would be best.' You gave love and care. Try to remember that.
Also, coming on this forum will help you, as will writing down everything you can remember...your memories of him. I found this helped me. It's really hard but try to keep busy. Try to keep your mind occupied. Slowly the pain you feel will lessen, and he will always be in your heart.
 

JenA

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Jen Authier
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I am so sorry for your loss.
As Yuki Shiro said, ' You did what you thought would be best.' You gave love and care. Try to remember that.
Also, coming on this forum will help you, as will writing down everything you can remember...your memories of him. I found this helped me. It's really hard but try to keep busy. Try to keep your mind occupied. Slowly the pain you feel will lessen, and he will always be in your heart.
thank you so much!
 

fashionfobie

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:sadhug:
 

expressmailtome

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I am sorry for your loss.
 

JenA

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Jen Authier
Thank you for all of your kind responses. I am having an awful time with this. I know that Mango died under our house, where we can’t access. He would have been all alone, and we were never able to see him one last time. The what if’s are haunting me, as well as the memories, his toys, food and water dishes, and cages. Somehow I have to pull myself together.....
 

Shezbug

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The what ifs are honestly a useless torture we tend to do to ourselves and I do not understand why- you need to try to let that thinking go and feel and know you did the best you knew how to do at the time. I am really sorry for your loss and all the feelings and thoughts you are now going through.
I am going through a similar bout of this "what if" thinking regarding my oldest closest friend of over 30 years who I just recently lost in a rather saddening way- I recognise it is not helping me at all but I sometimes can not help myself when I think of her, I do not need the extra pain from that kind of thinking but I am doing it before I even realise where my thoughts have gone... I am really trying to replace this unhelpful unhealthy thinking by reminding myself of the happy memories I now have of her and the memorable good times we had together.

Thinking of you and sending you strength and loving thoughts

:bluhug:
 

JenA

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Jen Authier
The what ifs are honestly a useless torture we tend to do to ourselves and I do not understand why- you need to try to let that thinking go and feel and know you did the best you knew how to do at the time. I am really sorry for your loss and all the feelings and thoughts you are now going through.
I am going through a similar bout of this "what if" thinking regarding my oldest closest friend of over 30 years who I just recently lost in a rather saddening way- I recognise it is not helping me at all but I sometimes can not help myself when I think of her, I do not need the extra pain from that kind of thinking but I am doing it before I even realise where my thoughts have gone... I am really trying to replace this unhelpful unhealthy thinking by reminding myself of the happy memories I now have of her and the memorable good times we had together.

Thinking of you and sending you strength and loving thoughts

:bluhug:
Thank you so much. So sorry for your loss of your friend.
 
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