• ALL Threads/Post in Rehome Highway will be reviewed for compliance to forum guidelines before being approved.
  • Welcome to Avian Avenue! To view our forum with less advertisments please register with us.
    Memberships are free and it will just take a moment. Click here

I really don't want to do this

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Pressed enter by mistake, supposed to be titled "I really don't want to do this"

This is very difficult for me to write. I have been having a lot of medical problems with my birds lately. I've been to the vet more times for my birds in the past two months than I have in my whole life, and if I was closer to a professional 24/7 avian vet, that wouldn't be a problem. However, they have been consistently having problems on the weekends when my vet isn't open, and it is really taking a toll on my mental health. I've also lost two birds during all of this, and it has been a lot to deal with. The nearest emergency vet is a few hours away, the wait is long, and I usually don't have means to get there. I am thinking of rehoming my birds to a rescue that will take care of them for me. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it hurts so bad, but I don't know if I can keep doing this. I woke up today to possibly two, or all three, of my birds having problems that could be so many different things. I want to get them care the second I see that something is wrong, but I can't with where I am right now due to my vet being closed. Waiting the two days drives me crazy and causes prolonged physical pain and nausea, and I can't just sit and possibly watch my birds deteriorate. They're acting almost completely normal right now, but I know birds hide illnesses, and I feel like I am so stressed out all the time. I keep thinking that everyone is healthy and that everything will be fine, but then one or multiple of them start showing symptoms of an illness again. I love birds, and I would love to have them in the future, but I have decided that I would want to live near a 24 hour emergency clinic so that I can take them in whenever it's needed. I also am a college student not making much money, and while I do have money saved up, it has been getting used up quite fast, and I never want money to be an element in getting care for them. I want to have birds when I have a good job so that that is never an issue. I first got parakeets when I was 11, and of course I never considered stuff like this, but I still feel awful. My outlook was always that I would never rehome unless absolutely necessary. That I would be committed to my pets for their entire life....But I've never felt like this before. I don't know if I'm making the right decision. Has anyone ever gone through this? Did you regret it? Am I ever going to feel okay about this? I feel like it's going to haunt me. How do I know that whoever adopts that will care about them as much as I do? How can I know they'll get the medical attention they need? I want them to go to a foster based resuce that has a really good application and screening process, but even then I just....I don't know. Any input is welcome, even if you haven't experienced this.
 
Last edited:

Maggiebird

Sprinting down the street
Joined
8/29/20
Messages
561
Location
Somewhere over the rainbow
Real Name
Sally
This isn’t easy to decide. I personally have never done this so I can’t tell you from personal experiences but I think what your doing is your decision. Of course for me it would haunt me for the rest of my life but I’m not you so I don’t really have much to say. :sadhug2:Also like @Sarahmoluccan said read the the link.
 

sunnysmom

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/16/13
Messages
24,279
Location
Pennsylvania
Real Name
Michelle
What type of medical problems are they having? Is it something that can be cleared up? There are a lot of good rescues out there. I help with one that is foster based. You just need to be sure and not act because you're stressed right now. Sorry you are going through this.
 

budgieluv3

Rollerblading along the road
Joined
9/8/20
Messages
1,223
Location
Toronto
Real Name
Bear (It's a nickname)
I’m sorry you’re going through this. If you decide to regime, make sure to look into the rescues near you to make sure they take care of their birds well. Sending big hugs!
 

Sparkles99

Rollerblading along the road
Joined
8/9/20
Messages
1,276
Location
Ontario, Canada
I'm sorry to hear this. Maybe knowing more about what species your current birds are, what country you're in & what their medical problems are will help people better advise you.
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Thanks everyone. Everything is slowly returning back to normal, I think. My problem isn't with theirnhealth problems directly- I can deal with those. It's the anxiety surrounding their health. I just took one of them to the vet Monday because he seemed to be favoring a leg, and now I want to take him in again because I'm worried the stress made him sick or something, but I don't want to constantly be taking them in - both for their sake and mine - and I don't even know if I'm just worried over nothing. I'm just so on edge. Still, I really don't think I can ever give them up. Unless I found a situation where I could regularly see them, I just couldn't handle it. However, the mental state I'm in is not sustainable. Stomach and chest pains, nausea, crying, etc....It becomes a lot. There have been many days I can't focus enough to do my schoolwork because all I can do is worry. I'm thinking of finding a therapist. Do you think they would be able to help with something like this, though?? I think it's worth a shot, at least.
 

sunnysmom

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/16/13
Messages
24,279
Location
Pennsylvania
Real Name
Michelle
Thanks everyone. Everything is slowly returning back to normal, I think. My problem isn't with theirnhealth problems directly- I can deal with those. It's the anxiety surrounding their health. I just took one of them to the vet Monday because he seemed to be favoring a leg, and now I want to take him in again because I'm worried the stress made him sick or something, but I don't want to constantly be taking them in - both for their sake and mine - and I don't even know if I'm just worried over nothing. I'm just so on edge. Still, I really don't think I can ever give them up. Unless I found a situation where I could regularly see them, I just couldn't handle it. However, the mental state I'm in is not sustainable. Stomach and chest pains, nausea, crying, etc....It becomes a lot. There have been many days I can't focus enough to do my schoolwork because all I can do is worry. I'm thinking of finding a therapist. Do you think they would be able to help with something like this, though?? I think it's worth a shot, at least.
I think seeing a therapist is a very good idea. Also, do you know any vets that do online consults? Maybe that way you can show them your birds and see if they think it requires them going in for an actual visit. Unless you rehome your birds to someone you know, I don't think a person would let you visit regularly. That's just my experience with helping with a rescue. The first bird I fostered was a lovebird. When the woman who adopted him came to get him, much to my embarrassment, I started crying. I certainly didn't want her to feel bad- adopting him was a good thing but I was so anxious about my first foster going to a new home. She said that she would send me updates once a month and pictures. She wrote to me once and I never heard from her again. And that's okay. He's her bird. She certainly isn't required to keep me updated. So my point is, I think even with best intentions of the new owner, if you decide to rehome your birds you have to be prepared for losing contact with them- unless like I said, it's someone you know. I think a therapist could help you work through how to deal with your anxiety. We all get anxious at times over our birds. Maybe tell us a little more about your birds and we can offer more insight?
 

chuckylove

Sitting on the front steps
Joined
12/17/20
Messages
17
Real Name
LLOYD
Hello, and apologies if this message is inapproproate - I have just joined he site

From personal experience and as an animal lover, of course you regret rehoming a pet. It’s something you think about every day, and something you’ll likely do once because it hurts so much. You sound like a very loving individual with a lot of love to give your pets, so if you dohave to give any away I would suggest blocking it out. I personally did not want to know anything about my pet being rehomed because I found any subsequent conversations about it too upsetting. I don’t regret the rehoming, so much as I regret getting myslef into a position where I was forced to make the decision for the animal’s own good. 20 years later I still hate myself for it, but I knew the person was an animal lover who could give a better life to my darling

Regarding your anxiety, this is being exacerbated by the overwhelming love for your pets and sometimes we have to take a step back and tell ourselves how much good we do for these animals and how happy rhey are. We must limit criticising ourselves too irrationally. You have responsibilities to your own wellbeing as wwll as your birds, and you will get through it.

If you happen to love in the UK I can help you. I don’t know if this is an international forum, I registered here preemtively should I ever need help with my adopted budgie.
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Sorry for not replying for a while - I wanted to wait a bit. Things seem to keep going up and down. Sometimes I have a whole week where I'm calm and everything seems to be good, but then something happens and I crash again. I took two of them to the vet almost two weeks ago. Dewey had started doing this wing twitching/vibrating thing, and Toby seemed to be holding his feet up more and maybe being slightly less active. The vet said both were very healthy, though Toby is overweight, which would explain his symptoms. But other than that, mouth/throat/nose clear, lungs and heart perfect, no masses/abnormalities palpated. Dewey's thing is probably just a new behavior that turned into habit, since he isn't doing it involuntarily. He didn't do it at the vet, and he doesn't do it when sleeping or cleaning himself. Toby, though....I'm worried there's some underlying thing going on. He's started having some wet droppings since the appointment (not diarrhea, it's more urine content). I have changed their diet, but I would have expected it to have stopped by now. I got a gram stain for both of their droppings and everything was fine. The vet says not to worry...ha. So I told myself I wasn't going to be rushing them into the vet all the time now, as I don't want to cause unnecessary stress. But now I already feel like I need to get Toby in because I feel like he is breathing fast. But they literally just went to the vet. But he could have developed something....Could the stress have caused something? Ugh. I'm worried about the holidays because that means they're closed. I just wish I had a personal vet on call haha

Chuckylove, you're right, and I appreciate your comment. I'm in the US, but I think I'll be keeping them. I just have to get through the hard times. I mean, they can't last forever, right?
 
Last edited:

sunnysmom

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/16/13
Messages
24,279
Location
Pennsylvania
Real Name
Michelle
I'm glad they got a clean bill of health at the vet's. What is their diet like? How often are the watery droppings? All the time or just periodically? It's normal to sometimes have a dropping that's more watery. The bird may have just drank water, may have gotten excited, etc. Can you post pictures for us to see?
 

chuckylove

Sitting on the front steps
Joined
12/17/20
Messages
17
Real Name
LLOYD
Sorry for not replying for a while - I wanted to wait a bit. Things seem to keep going up and down. Sometimes I have a whole week where I'm calm and everything seems to be good, but then something happens and I crash again. I took two of them to the vet almost two weeks ago. Dewey had started doing this wing twitching/vibrating thing, and Toby seemed to be holding his feet up more and maybe being slightly less active. The vet said both were very healthy, though Toby is overweight, which would explain his symptoms. But other than that, mouth/throat/nose clear, lungs and heart perfect, no masses/abnormalities palpated. Dewey's thing is probably just a new behavior that turned into habit, since he isn't doing it involuntarily. He didn't do it at the vet, and he doesn't do it when sleeping or cleaning himself. Toby, though....I'm worried there's some underlying thing going on. He's started having some wet droppings since the appointment (not diarrhea, it's more urine content). I have changed their diet, but I would have expected it to have stopped by now. I got a gram stain for both of their droppings and everything was fine. The vet says not to worry...ha. So I told myself I wasn't going to be rushing them into the vet all the time now, as I don't want to cause unnecessary stress. But now I already feel like I need to get Toby in because I feel like he is breathing fast. But they literally just went to the vet. But he could have developed something....Could the stress have caused something? Ugh. I'm worried about the holidays because that means they're closed. I just wish I had a personal vet on call haha

Chuckylove, you're right, and I appreciate your comment. I'm in the US, but I think I'll be keeping them. I just have to get through the hard times. I mean, they can't last forever, right?
Hi again, I’m not reslly an expert in birds, or psychology! but mostly I’m using some sort of common sense I suppose, and basing on my own personal life experience.. your mood sounds high snd low, this isn’t abnormal or any negative mental condition, it’s a very normal and expected rollercoaster for emotional individuals, and you sound like a very caring person! your birds must love you very mucn, a friend told me recently that my bird has such a great life and I should be really proud of that because we give them everything they need snd care about them so much... my advice to concentrate on those facts for a while and tell yourself how much you give to your cherubs and how lucky and happy they must be, and it should allay your anxiety about it, obviosuly i am not telling you to stop taking them to the vet if you feel it’s necessary, but the emotional side of it you can help yourself with some positive thinking about how well you are doing, i feel like birds can pick up on anxiety because mine will squawk and flap arround when he is telling me to CALM DOWN or to Stop! ok i am rampling and using inferior punctuation (ipad) take care and happy holiday
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
They currently are eating a mixture of pellets and seeds, and they get leafy greens daily. I'm trying to get them to eat a chop mix, but so far that is a no-go, so it's just the greens for now. I am going to try sprouting seeds to see if I can get more success with that, and I bought a bird bread mix to try as well, so we will see.
I thought maybe some of the things you mentioned could be causes, but they happen at night, too (though I guess he could be drinking a lot before bed?). I would estimate it's happening at least half the time where there is a visible wet ring around the dropping, but sometimes there's just a wet sheen the the dropping instead. And sometimes his droppings look fine! These were taken right after I changed their paper towels, freaking them out, so they could be wet because of that, but this is what they look like:
20201223_172411.jpg 20201223_172337.jpg
Also after calming down and watching Toby again, I think he's fine lol. Here's a picture of the boy right before he yelled at me and flew off. I couldn't upload the video so it's a blurry screenshot.
Screenshot_20201223-173321_Video Player.jpg
Chuckylove, that is very sweet, thank you. I would say only one of my birds loves me, the others are terrified of me still haha, but that's okay. I do try to do my best for them, and I will try to keep your advice in mind. Happy holidays!
 

Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
Super Moderator
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
4/28/18
Messages
14,534
Location
Vic, Australia
Real Name
Shez
@taykiren to share footage of your birds you’ll need to link it here from YouTube, FB, Instagram etc
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Oh god, maybe I spoke too soon. Toby is concerning me.
Does this look really bad? Should I take him to an emergency place?
Oh no, is should have just asked if I could bring him in today, but I didn't want to bother the vet or stress Toby out. I thought I was just being paranoid. Why does this keep happening
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Okay....Now he is acting okay again....

See, this is how it's been. I almost had a panic attack, and now I can't stop crying. UGH can things just....be okay, please?
Does this still look like I should ask if the vet can squeeze him in tomorrow? And if the vet thinks he is fine, should I ask for tests? I'm worried there's something internal going on that can't be detected without diagnostics (not just because of this, but because of the wet droppings and feet thing). My vet is hesitant to do blood work on a bird so small, which I get....I don't know if there's enough reason to put Toby through that with it requiring anesthesia and the risk of it all...Why can't they just get blood from the nail?? Ack.
I just want everything to go smoothly in the next few days.
 

Blueberry

Walking the driveway
Joined
5/12/20
Messages
166
Real Name
Lulu
Okay....Now he is acting okay again....

See, this is how it's been. I almost had a panic attack, and now I can't stop crying. UGH can things just....be okay, please?
Does this still look like I should ask if the vet can squeeze him in tomorrow? And if the vet thinks he is fine, should I ask for tests? I'm worried there's something internal going on that can't be detected without diagnostics (not just because of this, but because of the wet droppings and feet thing). My vet is hesitant to do blood work on a bird so small, which I get....I don't know if there's enough reason to put Toby through that with it requiring anesthesia and the risk of it all...Why can't they just get blood from the nail?? Ack.
I just want everything to go smoothly in the next few days.
If your really worried maybe ask to do a culture- make sure they have tiny tiny Qtips to do the culture. It’s similar to a gram stain and they grow the bacteria to seeWhat is there.
Organic apple sauce (only ingredient is organic apples)is a form of pedialyte for birds - mine do not like apple sauce but they love apple slices (I buy organic - spray vinegar on the apple then rinse and dry off the apple). Also add a heat source - if he is fight anything this will help him be able to maintain body temp and helps the body focus on returning to homeostasis. Some really good books on nutrition I found helpful is

A guide to a naturally healthy bird by Alicia McWatters

Holistic Care for Birds by Dave McCluggage DMV
Try playing binaural beats - it help me and gang :)
 

Ripshod

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
12/6/18
Messages
5,852
Location
UK
Real Name
Linden
My problem isn't with theirnhealth problems directly- I can deal with those. It's the anxiety surrounding their health
And they are picking up on your anxiety and getting anxious themselves.
Does this look really bad? Should I take him to an emergency place?
Right there is a great example of what I said. You're anxious and tense, hanging round and taking videos. That's what the birds see as predator behaviour.
Drinking extra and wet poops - that's a stressed bird.
I know what it can be like. I have ptsd and I could easily be a stressed-out worrywart myself, but I understand that and try to remove myself from that thinking. Yes, we take these birds into our homes so we are responsible for their care. But who's taking care of you. Sorry to say this but it sounds like you have already given up on yourself.

We have a forum here called 'Healthy Highway' where we can easily get a 2nd 3rd 4th.... opinion. That's what it's there for. Repeatedly taking a bird to the vet for nothing. It's not good for you and it's certainly not good for your birds.
Don't give up on them. In the future you will have some companions to support you.
Let's take this on a little tangent. Do you have anyone who will look after them for 2-4 weeks. Or will a rescue provide respite care? If this can happen and you can relax a little you will have some time to sort out your own head. Birds can make great therapy animals but only in the right mind can we relax and just enjoy them.
We're all here to ask. And we're listening.
 

taykiren

Meeting neighbors
Joined
11/6/20
Messages
23
Huh, I didn't realize my anxiety could affect them so much. You think that's all it is? It doesn't look concerning? I don't think I start hovering until after I notice something?
The problem with forums is that if I notice something like this with them, I feel like I have to get them to the vet asap because of how fast they go downhill. I am afraid to wait at all - I feel like I'm already out of time.
I would love to have someone watch them - that was my first thought when I made my original post - but I don't know how that could even happen. There's boarding places, but those cost a fortune, and I don't know anyone personally I would trust to watch them. As for rescues...Is that a thing they do? I guess I could try contacting some.
 
Last edited:
Top