I have messed up with my birds and I’m unsure what I should do

[Vmax]

I have been being trained by my two conures for about 4-5 years now. I let one of them pair-bond, unwittingly, but it has still happened. I have always tried to let them decide what they wanted to do, which I don’t know if that is a mistake. I didn’t recognize their cavity seeking behaviors as that. I have let both Max & Gus ride on my shoulders probably to all of our detriment. Max now will intermittently have these fits where he doesn’t want to step down from my shoulder and bites hard. He’s like a feathered vice grip when he doesn’t want to dismount my shoulder. I was searching around the AA site and found some good information on why one shouldn’t pair-bond with their bird and the significance of cavity seeking. Well, it’s already happened. The cow is out of the barn. I would like to have a healthy and supportive relationship with my birbs....I really do love them. I’ve target trained and played with them, but I have also let them remain with me while I was working. Neither of them will stay on theirs cage tops/play gyms any more. I need training. Can I undo this? Is it too late? I’m on my first day of trying to identify to my antecedent behaviors, but I confess I’m a little nervous to even let them out today. This morning, I ate my breakfast in front of their cages and chatted with them. They both wanted out to attach themselves to me. I feel very inadequate to appropriately care for them and this causes me a deep sadness and pain.

 

[Lady Jane]

@webchirp is our conure person to best answer your questions. This is a tag for her to read your post.

 

[Monaco]

I don't think you're inadequate! I don't think it's impossible to shift your relationship with the birds. I bet station training and other modifications may even be a fun new thing for them.

 

[Vmax]

We have station trained, I just don't think I have been taking full advantage of it. We do our little training sessions, and then they climb on board and I go about working from home. Since I started working from home, I have wanted to spend more time with them. Recently, we've started returning to our workplace, which means I leave them in the mornings. I hate that.
I was considering putting myself up for rehoming, but I doubt my spousal unit would go for that. I am exasperated with myself and my inadequacies...

 

[Monaco]

I bet you'll have lots of good suggestions to try. Do you have foraging toys on your "stations"? That's helpful for Monaco sometimes.

 

[webchirp]

This is def a @Monica question. I suck at training. Mainly because I let the little heathens do their thing but I shall be working from home soon and plan to have them rotate in my office.

Perhaps you just need a separate space for them as I do mine. I have a birdroom so when they are out, that is there time to do whatever they want...except eat each other (my boys).

What about a different cage full of toys in another room and then you do not have to feel guilty because they don't see you. And don't laugh but I often whisper so mine don't hear me either. It's natural for them to want to be on you. If you were a conure, you would be huddled up together as a flock. But since you are a giant human, they have to sit on you.

 

[Monica]

You are already station training and target training them?!?!?!?!? Then you are a step ahead of the game! That's amazing!

You can use target training to have your birds step up off your shoulder and onto your hands, or you could use target training to get them to walk down your arms and onto your hands! You could use target training to get them more interested in playing with toys and foraging!

 

[Hankmacaw]

I like @webchirp don't train mine - they train me and they go along pretty much as they so please. I'm doing pretty good in my training, but hit a few rough spots where Kitty was very, very angry with me.

 

[saroj12]

I like @webchirp don't train mine - they train me and they go along pretty much as they so please. I'm doing pretty good in my training, but hit a few rough spots where Kitty was very, very angry with me.

That’s what I do too. Which is why bedtime during COVID is midnight and whatever else they like that I can reasonably adjust to.

 

[macawpower58]

I'm another that has been trained by my birds .

I do admit though I seldom allow any shoulder time, probably the size of my beaks scares me.

Don't be so hard on yourself, our birds are master of manipulation. We humans just fumble along.

 

[Vmax]

I confess I love that they want to cuddle. Gus will crawl between my shirt and sweater and hang out or nap. Max loves my gradually doubling chin, no judgement from him that covid 19 is more about my weight gain. As of late, we’ve been dealing with the deep freeze and I like having them around. I’m still so new with companion birds that I fear I’m going about their care all wrong or not structuring things for them appropriately. My husband says if I’m not fretting or complaining, my pulse might need to be checked....whatever.
I need to learn how to play games with them, I just have no idea what sort of things we could do. I would foster or adopt more if I could reliably provide for them. I have drunk the kool aid and Gus and Max know this

 

[Monica]

If you need training ideas!

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=810023135709888