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Help! Budgies won't trust me!

Elizabethh

Meeting neighbors
Joined
4/28/21
Messages
32
Hi, I have these two budgies, a boy and a girl, that are staying at my house for a while (not mine but I am helping a friend out) and I've been trying to tame them for over a month and nothing will work! I got the boy to eat from my hand but he is still super scared of me and would rather sit anywhere else in the room but me. The girl won't come to me at all! She will just fly away even if I have treats! The boy will eat from my hand but I can tell that he doesn't actually like my presence or trust me. The girl won't even come near me. I don't know their ages but I know they're over two years old and have never been tamed, so I think that's why it might be so hard to tame them. If they're that old are they still even tameable? I want these birds to enjoy my presence but I can't if they keep flying away! Please help!
 

SeñorBirb

Sprinting down the street
Joined
3/15/21
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396
Real Name
Ella
Try sitting by their cage and reading out loud to them, talking, or singing. Don' tmake eye contact with them, as this is what predators do in the wild. when you walk past, drop a treat in their cage. How long are they staying with you? :needpics:
 

Sunni Tiel

Rollerblading along the road
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Rachel
A month is nothing. It can take months, years even. Some birds are just not very trusting, and will never really enjoy the presence of humans. Keep trying and working with them, don't give up! They will eventually come around if you continue patiently. Don't EVER force anything, go at their pace. Once the boy is tame, the girl should follow when she knows you aren't a threat.

Good luck and welcome to the avenue!
 

Elizabethh

Meeting neighbors
Joined
4/28/21
Messages
32
Try sitting by their cage and reading out loud to them, talking, or singing. Don' tmake eye contact with them, as this is what predators do in the wild. when you walk past, drop a treat in their cage. How long are they staying with you? :needpics:
They were supposed to only be with me for a month and a half but their owner doesn't have time for them and never lets them out of the cage and I feel bad for them. They said I could keep them but this would be my first birds and I would love to keep them but I'm afraid I would get frustrated and have a bad experience with owning birds.
 

Sodapop&Co.

Rollerblading along the road
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10/4/18
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1,429
Location
CA, North America, Planet Earth
Real Name
Sarah
I'm afraid I would get frustrated and have a bad experience with owning birds.
Why would it be a bad experience? Birds don't have to be tame to be happy, you don't need to be able to touch birds to love them. Agendas don't work well with birds - pushing with a set goal in mind and ignoring what the birds are telling you will get you nowhere. The only way is to appreciate and enjoy the moment; try not to let yourself get stuck always thinking ahead about "what if" "what could be" "what I want" - just enjoy them for what they are right now, and who knows what could happen in the future. Think less in terms of "training", "behaviours", "taming" and more friendship, acceptance, trust. You can't train birds (or anything) to trust you! You can't make them trust you! And they don't with-hold their trust out of some sort of ill-will so (sorry for the nitpicking) it's not a matter of "won't trust me". That's like saying "this person refuses to like me".I have two budgies. I got them as hand-raised babies. They're not "hand-trained" - I can't make them step up, or pet them, or anything like that. And I used to think "I wish I'd only gotten one so he'd love me". And then... I ended up with other birds who did "love" me! Who always wanted to be on me, wanting to be pet etc who rarely were calm if I wasn't in their sight. And guess what... (For me) it was really stressful. Cuz I always thought "if I'm not with my birds 24/7, they're unhappy!" (that's not to say that all "handtamed" birds are like that; it's just been my own experience). My budgie boys, on the other hand, don't depend on me! (Well, they don't know they do) They like me, with time they trust me and aren't scared of me, but they don't need me there all the time. I can still be there all the time for my own sake lol but it's so nice knowing that they're completely happy and love their lives. And with time and patience they will hop onto my hand if I have millet and if they feel like it (that's the key here; I still can't and don't make them do things). And it brings the silliest grin to my face cuz I love it, but it happens rarely simply because they don't need to (and it's important to note that this took about two years. It doesn't always take that long but I was very much an amateur and didn't know how to interact with them correctly). They only hop onto my hand if they want to so it's a rare honour and a privilege for me. And that's the way I like it. I don't want my birds to come to me and do what I tell them to do because they think they have to. I don't want to force anything on them. I want them to live their lives happily, loving every day, and I get the hugest amount of happiness just from watching them and knowing they're happy.
Anywho, there's my take on the matter. Obviously you already love these guys and I think it's great that you're thinking about giving them a long-term, safe place to land. Oh another thing that I think has been mentioned is that they've really only been with you for a short time - if you think about it from their perspective, they're still confused and scared about the change in their environment. Things like moving homes and familes is something that doesn't make sense to birds and they have no control over it so it's really scary for them. It can take them a long time to let their guard down again and start hoping "ok, maybe this is where I can be safe and live my life" instead of worrying about everything changing again. We love pics of birds here, so feel free to share as many as you want! :)
 
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StormyPica

Strolling the yard
Joined
5/2/21
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112
Real Name
Kat
A month is nothing. It can take months, years even. Some birds are just not very trusting, and will never really enjoy the presence of humans. Keep trying and working with them, don't give up! They will eventually come around if you continue patiently. Don't EVER force anything, go at their pace. Once the boy is tame, the girl should follow when she knows you aren't a threat.

Good luck and welcome to the avenue!
Yea, for me it took 8 months before Stormy would even take millet from me. Picasso took 2 weeks, but he’s just a baby. I mean, never set out with a final result in mind. This will get you nowhere. Instead take things at their pace and see where it leads you!
 

Lady Jane

Joyriding the Neighborhood
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Dianne
Birds will teach us humans patience, something many young people have not learned yet. With birds there are no instant buttons to push. You earn the trust of birds by being patient, calm and understanding of their needs. Remember it’s not about you rather it’s about them.
 

AussieBird

Rollerblading along the road
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1,890
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Call me AB
Birds will teach us humans patience, something many young people have not learned yet. With birds there are no instant buttons to push. You earn the trust of birds by being patient, calm and understanding of their needs. Remember it’s not about you rather it’s about them.
Perfectly said! :heart:
 

StormyPica

Strolling the yard
Joined
5/2/21
Messages
112
Real Name
Kat
Birds will teach us humans patience, something many young people have not learned yet. With birds there are no instant buttons to push. You earn the trust of birds by being patient, calm and understanding of their needs. Remember it’s not about you rather it’s about them.
I’m glad i learned it even tho I’m young! Birds do teach patience to the right people!
 
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Elizabethh

Meeting neighbors
Joined
4/28/21
Messages
32
Thank you! You all really helped me kind of shift my perspective and just appreciate the little things.
 
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