Columba
Moving in
- Joined
- 5/2/21
- Messages
- 11
- Real Name
- Columba
Today I had to euthanise the first bird I ever owned, a precious albino budgie hen. She was about 6 or 7 years old going by her ring. She developed breathing issues, which I tried treating with antibiotics and she improved a little after a week, then rapidly declined. In the past few days she was eating less and lost weight (5g in less than a week) and the breathing issues got worse (heavy tail pumping, laboured chest, clicking and squeaking when breathing). But she still seemed herself; preening, drinking, bright and alert. The vet laid out my options: X-Rays to see if there was another reason for the breathing, but advised that she may not survive the sedation due to her weakened condition and that it doesn’t necessarily mean we can treat whatever is wrong eg tumours. Or I could euthanise. I just kept having nightmares of waking up or coming home from work to find her dead, having suffocated all alone. Or putting her through all the stress of procedures just for it to be too much. I thought maybe I could at least let her go peacefully before the suffering got worse.
But now that it’s done, I just feel guilty. Like she had no idea she was going to die today and I killed her, that I betrayed her. Maybe I should’ve tried to fight harder for her to live. When the vet sedated her before the final injection, it took a long time for her to fall unconscious which makes me think I made a mistake and it’s cost her her life because she was strong. Is this a common feeling after euthanasia? How do you cope?
But now that it’s done, I just feel guilty. Like she had no idea she was going to die today and I killed her, that I betrayed her. Maybe I should’ve tried to fight harder for her to live. When the vet sedated her before the final injection, it took a long time for her to fall unconscious which makes me think I made a mistake and it’s cost her her life because she was strong. Is this a common feeling after euthanasia? How do you cope?