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bf can't care for my birds need help

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Flyte

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:(I know this section is supposed to be for bird health emergencies but this is a different kind of bird emergency..
My bf, who has been caring for my birds just called and told me that he can't handle them anymore and that they 'have to go, now'.

I'm still in the hospital(since mid September)..still can't eat, still recovering from surgery, still in tons of pain.
I know he was having a rough time and that he has trouble being patient with them.. I also know he doesn't like them much but puts up with them because he loves me.
I'm in the freaking hospital.. I've been here for months.. aren't I going through enough right now???
I love him and he is so incredibly wonderful and patient with me.. I had already decided to try and rehome two of them since I'm always sick and, due to severe allergies, my bf gets massive headaches very easily..The normal bird 'screams' trigger them very often.
I keep being told to think positive. By everyone.
I am dealing with a ton of pain, massive anxiety, nearly constant nausea, and who knows how much longer I'll be stuck here..

I love him more than anything in the world. I appreciate everything he does for me, which is pretty much everything, and I love that he tried to deal with my birds. I think I might need your help in finding homes, I can't do anything from this hospital bed.
I might not get to see them ever again. I can't imagine. This is just awful.
My wonderful nurse is even asking the others if they'd like to adopt a parrot.
 
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Birdiemarie

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Message from the Administrators:
Please only post practical help and no criticisms of Sarah's boyfriend or those posts will be deleted.
 

Karen

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Sarah, sorry to read you're going through this very difficult time. I hope someone has room to foster a bird or two. What birds do you have and where are they located?
 

Birdasaurus

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Sarah, I'm so sorry :(

Please let us know the details of which birds, location, and any other info for rehoming (bird preferences...cages...fee...etc) that will help us find you placements.
 

srtiels

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I can fully understand where you are coming from. In 2005 I spent almost 4 months in the hospital, and had a BF and my daughter take care of the birds. At the time I had cockatiels setup, so it was not only feeding them but checking the boxes, and pulling and handfeeding if needed. I think what helped is my BF and daughter alternated taking care of the birds. i think if it was just one of them with the sole responcibility they would have reacted in frustration like your BF.

Does your BF have any friends that might be able to help him or releive him from them for a couple of days or a day or two? Or do you have any bird friends that can help him. I think if he can get a little break, this might ease his frustration.

As to my birds, my lung collapsed from the dander, so I had to sell many of them...and that was a tough decision on who, and doing it. if I had to do it over again I would have contacted several responcible bird owners to foster them for several months until I was totally well and back on my feet. If you have any friends that have birds possibly they can foster them, and help with their feed bills and expences. If you have to ship them, Continental is the saftest airlines, and the person fostering them can send you carrier and you can decide on who pays shipping, etc.

(((HUGS)))
 

suncoast

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Sarah is there a rescue in your area that can come get the birds right now in order to foster for you until your back on your feet? I can't remember who you have besides your Macaw and Tyler and I think an Amazon? The weather is going to be a problem for people to get birds shipped to them because of the cold right now so perhaps we can set up a driving chain if anybody here can help.

Ginger

 

Billie Faye

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I emailed Jeanne of A Helping Wing...she is in NY and knows a lot of people...She was the one who took in my birds for me...:hug8:
 

birdlady

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Jeanne and john are always there to help.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G using Tapatalk
 

Birdiemarie

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So hoping this will work out for you with Jeanne, Flyte.
 

Flyte

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Thanks guys.. and please don't be mad at my bf, I think he screwed up big time in the timing and the way he told me but he's a guy and guys never understand how to talk to girls.
He has been taking wonderful care of them and even brought them out to play when they probably would rather have chewed his neck off.

The day started off so crummy with so much pain and it was just a bad day to hear about anything. I thought his Christmas present package had arrived and that's why he was calling so I was really just shocked by what he said.
I would rather he tells me he can't deal with them properly than have them not receive what they need. He is also worried about me and he's been through about nine surgeries with me, he couldn't be more devoted.

I'm still angry about how he told me and I don't understand why he couldn't wait to discuss it till I got home. I called my mom but she just started telling me that the world doesn't stop turning just because your in the hospital.. blah blah blah.. and I just said goodbye and hung up. I know the world doesn't revolve around me and I know life goes on at home without me, I'm not a moron and the drugs they give me don't make me THAT dense.
I want the world at home to go on without me, It would be ridiculous to expect family to just sit around and feel bad for me 24/7.. They know I'd rather they go have fun and tell me about it later. I may have whiny days when I appreciate a little pity but I certainly don't sit here thinking I'm the most important person in the world.
Anyways, it's out there now and .. it's just out there now. He doesn't understand the birds like we do, that's all. I don't think he gets how devastating it would be for me if the last time I saw my birds, ever, was months ago when I had to go to the ER and told them I'd be home in a few days. I know it must be very hard for a non bird person to deal with them and I know my gray is really giving him hell..
I wish I could go home, everyone here is so nice, but I wanna go home. I will call the folks who sent numbers tomorrow if I can, talking on the phone is sometimes too much for me, makes me get sick, and I can't get sick again today, already hurts too much.
Thank you all so much for the info.

These are my birds..

Madison, 16 year old Blue and Gold Macaw
Rocky, 27 year old Yellow Naped Amazon
Tyler, 33 year old Timneh African Gray

Rocky has troubles with his liver because his previous owner fed him mostly sunflower seeds for the entire time she had him.. I added milk thistle and dandelions (secretly) to the mash and within days he was fine.. now I add it to each batch and he's fine.
He hates men, as he was physically abused by one before I got him.. however He was starting to form a relationship with my bf, from what he told me on the phone, so it's possible with a lot of patience that he might learn to put up with a guy without killing him.

Tyler curses like a sailor and has one leg/foot that must have been broken and not treated by a previous owner so he appreciates some flat, softer areas in his cage and adores his heated perch. I add Glucosamine to their mash and it seems to have helped.
He doesn't like to be pet much and hates to have toys hanging in his cage.. I think this is because he startles very easily and he is VERY clumsy so he falls down a lot. I put a bath towel underneath the newspaper at the bottom of his cage in case he falls. He prefers a smaller cage, I had to send the big one I got for him (year ago) because he was just too scared of it. He is fully flighted atm, because he taunts the other birds and he needs an escape route god forbid anyone got out while I wasn't home. He is an excellent flier unless he gets startled....

Madison is the only one who wasn't a rescue.. I had her sent to me from Florida but she wasn't the one that I was supposed to get, she was much younger and very sick.. so I hand fed her and she slept on my chest at night so I could feel her breathing and suction her out when I felt her having trouble. She is 16 years old now and is very spoiled and clingy with me. I love all my birds but Madison just holds a special place in my heart. I can't imagine not having her around.. she understands when I've had surgery that she has to be careful and more gentle.. she will gently touch my shirt and say 'ow, boo-boo'. She was very very sick for a a few months, recovered right before I had to come to the hospital, thank god..
It was just an infection from egg laying and holding in her poop.. she is back to normal now. This is the second time in her life she has laid eggs and I'm hoping it's the last.
I've gotta go now, need to go lie down and let someone else use the computer here.. I'll try to call tomorrow, thanks guys.

- Sarah
 
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suncoast

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Well, I think your BF is a saint on earth and no one here will fault him for being overwhelmed. I hope we can help you get things straightened out so you can have peace of mind.

Ginger
 

srtiels

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The weather is going to be a problem for people to get birds shipped to them because of the cold right now so perhaps we can set up a driving chain if anybody here can help.
-------------------------------------------------------------

If you use Contiental, it does not matter what the enviromental temps are. They make sure that the birds are kept in a climate controlled environment throught every stage of the trip.
 

Allessa

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OH Sarah im so so sorry =( I know how youve been in and out of the hospital since ive known you. I remember when Madison wasnt taking it so well =(

For a none bird person, 3 large parrots is a huge amount of work. Im sorry he broke it to you that way, im sure it was itching at him for some time.

I hope you find wonderfull homes for all 3 and improve health wise. Focus on recovering =)
 

Renae

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I am sorry, I hope that you can find homes for them. It must be so hard on you too, being in hospital and now suddenly trying to find homes for the birds.
 

Marlene

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:hug8::hug8::hug8::hug8::hug8:
I am so sorry for your troubles. Hope things get better and you find homes for your babies. I know this is a tough situation. Good luck!
 

itzmered

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Sarah I hope that Jeanne is able to help you out.
 
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