B&g Sudden change of feeling

[Nouf]

Hi,

this is Tangawizi’s mama
So, due to spending so much time at work and getting home around 6ish, I had to leave my tangawizi at my parents, however I see him in the morning when I drop my baby girl at my parents, and when I get back from work to pick my my daughter. And spend as much quality time as I can. However my husband doesn’t get to spend that much time with tangawizi anymore.
We noticed Tangawizi is now very aggressive with my husband, whenever he tries to reach out she literally attacks though he was her favorite person then I come next.

Any idea why? And how can we build the trust between the two again?

 

[Mizzely]

Might be worth a read to see if any of this applies

Site Name - Articles - Behavioral - Sex And The Psittacine

 

[macawpower58]

How old is he now Nouf? I think Tangawizi is still quite young, right?
Will your husband be soon back with Tangawizi, or will it be some time before you're a whole family together again?
It's hard to give you advice since we don't know what will be happing in your life.

Give us some idea of what the future for you all will be like.

 

[SumitaSinh]

She's gorgeous!

 

[Nouf]

Might be worth a read to see if any of this applies

Site Name - Articles - Behavioral - Sex And The Psittacine

Thank you! I’ll check it out

 

[Nouf]

How old is he now Nouf? I think Tangawizi is still quite young, right?
Will your husband be soon back with Tangawizi, or will it be some time before you're a whole family together again?
It's hard to give you advice since we don't know what will be happing in your life.

Give us some idea of what the future for you all will be like.

Hey
Tangawizi is around 2.5 years now

As for the situation it will take some time till we are a family again, as the alternative is to keep her alone from morning till evening. Fyi after moving her to my family house she stopped cutting her belly feather which initially developed when I didn’t come home for 5 days (c section) though my husband was with her. And never stopped for almost a year afterwards until we relocated her to my family house.
But it’s very strange the aggressiveness towards my husband which never wa a trait of tangwaizi. Attaching a pic of big boss taking charge of my family remote

 

[Nouf]

She's gorgeous!

I know righttt! I Love her so much.

 

[flyzipper]

However my husband doesn’t get to spend that much time with tangawizi anymore.
We noticed Tangawizi is now very aggressive with my husband, whenever he tries to reach out she literally attacks

The advice I would offer is that your husband needs to forget the relationship that was, and focus on the current realtionship that is.
We always need to approach our birds on their terms, with their expectations, and making our expectations take a back seat.

For example, I may be that your husband used to be able to extend a hand and Tangawizi would readily step up, but if that's not the case currently, then the old way shouldn't be forced and adjusting his approach is recommended. What is the new approach? He needs to pay attention to what is currently accepted, rather than what he expects should be.

This isn't an issue for just Tangawizi, this applies to all our birds -- we need to constantly observe and adapt to changes.

 

[macawpower58]

I agree with Steve, forget what once was.

I'd also for now just strive for an accepted tolerance. Friendship would be icing on the cake.
In Tangawizi's mind, your parents are the new extended flock. More people to choose, befriend, and impress.
You of course are still there, and so is your husband, but so much has changed, it's not surprising she has too.
With you and hubby out of the home more, she is forging new relationships.

Until you're a family again, I'd work on building healthy and trusting friendships with Tangawizi.
Don't let this new behavior make you sad, don't blame the bird, or take it personally.
If love and your bond is still strong with her, work on keeping it so.

Your husband may just have settle for a bit less now. Tell him not to force anything.
Let Tangawizi decide on the pace and relationship.

And aggression in our birds can happen at any time. I myself doubt with severe aggression for a year or two with Chaos.
It's usually something that can be worked through.
Sometimes we don't know why, other times we do.
It can be jealousy, hormones, learned behavior, a youngster challenging boundaries, it can even be a stress or fear response.

Don't take it personally.

 

[Nouf]

The advice I would offer is that your husband needs to forget the relationship that was, and focus on the current realtionship that is.
We always need to approach our birds on their terms, with their expectations, and making our expectations take a back seat.

For example, I may be that your husband used to be able to extend a hand and Tangawizi would readily step up, but if that's not the case currently, then the old way shouldn't be forced and adjusting his approach is recommended. What is the new approach? He needs to pay attention to what is currently accepted, rather than what he expects should be.

This isn't an issue for just Tangawizi, this applies to all our birds -- we need to constantly observe and adapt to changes.

Thank you!
I really appreciate the time and response.
A lot of change happened to Tangawizi all in the last year so it makes sense.

 

[Nouf]

I agree with Steve, forget what once was.

I'd also for now just strive for an accepted tolerance. Friendship would be icing on the cake.
In Tangawizi's mind, your parents are the new extended flock. More people to choose, befriend, and impress.
You of course are still there, and so is your husband, but so much has changed, it's not surprising she has too.
With you and hubby out of the home more, she is forging new relationships.

Until you're a family again, I'd work on building healthy and trusting friendships with Tangawizi.
Don't let this new behavior make you sad, don't blame the bird, or take it personally.
If love and your bond is still strong with her, work on keeping it so.

Your husband may just have settle for a bit less now. Tell him not to force anything.
Let Tangawizi decide on the pace and relationship.

And aggression in our birds can happen at any time. I myself doubt with severe aggression for a year or two with Chaos.
It's usually something that can be worked through.
Sometimes we don't know why, other times we do.
It can be jealousy, hormones, learned behavior, a youngster challenging boundaries, it can even be a stress or fear response.

Don't take it personally.

Thanks a lot!
You guys help us in ways you cannot imagine so we really appreciate your time to draft the response.
We love Tangawizi and we always will no matter what and we are noticing her growing up with stronger opinions and preferences.