Aggression? And tempering a bird's animostly toward the 'other' human

[M&M Ninja]

My husband and I recently started courting an Amazon at the local sanctuary. She has been there for a year and was previously a lady's bird. She was given up due to health/age-related reasons (the human's, not hers).

I've visited maybe 6 times; my husband twice. With me, she is very interactive and responsive. The (male) manager sticks his finger through the bars of the cage and 'wrestles' with her. She loves it.

It's a different story when my husband is with me. When he bent over to get something off the ground, she would sometimes strike the side of her cage. And a few times, she did lunging moves in his direction in response to him raising his hands. Some of them were open-mouthed.

She takes treats from him very politely and, at times, would go to his side of the cage and hang out without acting threatening.

It's possible he is moving around quicker than I am, and she is nervous. But he's not darting around. And while I have had more visits with her, my advantage is slim.

Would you interpret her reactions as being aggressive?

As an extension to that question -

Have any of you worked through a bird being aggressive toward the spouse in the family (e.g. bird loves you but will lunge at husband)? What has worked?

 

[sunnysmom]

It could be many factors. She might not like your husband's haircut; it could be she reminds him of someone who mistreated her; she could be jealous, etc. It's hard to say at this point. My goffin, Elvis, became extremely aggressive to my boyfriend, Howie. In the first month with us, Howie seemed to be his preferred person. Howie left for work at 5 in the morning and would get home hours before me. So, they spent quite a bit of time alone. I wasn't there to see what happened. I suspect Elvis became frustrated. Howie would let him out and then nap on the couch. Which you never do with a cockatoo... but, I suspect Elvis initially snuggled with him. Also, a mistake. And then got bored and started nipping him to wake him up. I think. Eventually, Elvis started flat out attacking him. Like Howie would walk by him and he would fly at his face. Some of the bites were pretty bad. Probably too many details, but that's the back story. At that point, Howie wanted Elvis gone. I refused and said I would figure it out. I tried consulting different places but ended up just kind of winging it. The standard advice is- have the nonfavorite person give him his favorite treat and no one else, etc. But I needed to be able to let Elvis out of his cage safely and just giving treats wasn't going to be sufficient.

So, for months, I wouldn't let Elvis out when Howie was around. Either he wasn't home or I would ask him to go upstairs. Howie wasn't happy about it but did it. Eventually, we worked up to Howie could be downstairs and I would just take Elvis into a different room. What I soon learned was Elvis wanted to play. If he was playing, he really was uninterested in Howie. Elvis is not a sit and perch kind of bird and would much rather be playing with me than sitting in the room with Howie. I then started letting Elvis go in the room to see Howie. Just a few minutes then I would take him away. We eventually worked up to Elvis could sit with Howie for a few minutes and I would take him away. Now, we co-exist just fine. I still don't let Howie take Elvis out of the cage when I'm not here. But Elvis will fly to Howie, give him kisses, and then fly back to me. I know this isn't your exact situation but I think it can be worked through. But it is a question of how involved your spouse wants to be and how committed he is.

 

[M&M Ninja]

I know this isn't your exact situation but I think it can be worked through.

Awesome story, thank you so much.

I knew there had to be horror stories that were worse than the minor scenario that unfolded for us, and I strongly suspected people had worked through them. This was exactly what I needed to read.

My husband and I bring our own baggage to the situation. We were much stupider (bird stupid) when we had our TAG. He had good food and a great cage; and he hung out with me a lot. But after he initially bit my husband (totally our fault) and then later developed the desire to fly to him and attack him, we didn't know how to fix it. We just assumed, "He hates men."

I know now how simple the solution could have been. No boxes for the bird during hormone season (or at all). Better food. Exercise! Timed sessions with the husband, not an open-ended visit that ended when the bird decided he wanted to get away but couldn't (it took him years to get up the nerve to fly again), so he'd bite the human holding him.

Thank you for your inspiration. I hope my husband can go into the next interactions (which will be out of cage) with an open mind and heart. Like birds, it can be hard for humans to change. And while I'm hoping, I'll hope that the bird doesn't do anything aggressive.