They still don't understand the dangers!!!

[Brittany0208]

Over the last week, I've caught my mother using Febreeze in the bathroom, and just this morning, my grandmother used spray starch on her clothes. I've explained to them time and time again that they CANNOT use this stuff in the house!!! I don't know why they're still buying it. My mother's excuse for the Febreeze is: "I closed the bathroom door and sprayed it." My room is directly across the hall from the bathroom and I was able to smell it with my door closed as well, and it pisses me off that they think closing the door, or opening a window will make it safe.
My grandmother used spray starch this morning even after I told her she couldn't use it because of Java, and her answer was: "I went outside and sprayed my clothes. It should be alright." And I proceeded to tell her that it isn't alright because it's still in the clothes, and in the air. Then she acted surprised that it would still bother him. Then she went on to say that she would use liquid starch in the laundry, since it would be safer.
It's been seven months since Java's been here, and I told the entire house WAY before he got here that certain items were NOT allowed, and now they act surprised because "I sprayed it in my room" or "I puffed the cigarette outside" or "I opened the window". They still don't get it and it pisses me off, and from the looks of it, we're going to have this issue again.
How can I explain to them the dangers without them trying to find a way to work around it by closing the door or opening the window, or only using 'a little'?

 

[redindiaink]

They're likely under the spell of, "Well, I use it this time and the bird was ok. What's the big deal!?" Unless you can find an alternative they're willing to try it may be impossible to get them to change.

And I'd be extra helpful by buying that wash in starch (ask her if there is a brand she prefers) for grandma instead of waiting for her to get it.

 

[faislaq]

I would acknowledge their attempts at changing and thank them for it. (Catch more flies with honey.) While their efforts are not effective enough, it says something that they at least try to close the door and even step outside! They do care about you and Java and they think they are helping. Putting them on the defensive will make them start ignoring you; instead encourage every baby step and tell them, "you know what would help even more....?"

You notice the smells more because you've stopped using them. Like a smoker can't smell smoke on them but it stinks to everyone else:


I agree with @redindiaink that finding better alternatives for them might help, too. The wash-in starch is a good idea (and asking which she prefers so she is a part of the decision is genius!). Grandma will still look nice & not have to stand outside anymore. And maybe arm your mom with a spray bottle of white vinegar? Sure it smells like you're dyeing Easter eggs at first, but it does smell fresh when it dries and a little orange oil makes it more bearable. It's better than the cloying perfume of the febreze that only tries to hide odors and the vinegar actually disinfects, too! She might come to prefer it when she realizes the vinegar actually does something instead of adding to the problem.

 

[Clueless]

You could also play that video of a birds breathing system for them.

It's hard for them to understand. Perhaps remind them of the canaries that were taken to the coal mines that died and THEN the men left the mines. Those men probably still have damaged lungs from their jobs.

By changing their habits now, it may help THEIR lungs from future damage also.

Vinegar forever in this house.......

 

[faislaq]

I've seen videos and diagrams of birds' lungs and it's still hard to wrap my brain around it. But I explained it to my 10-yr-old step daughter & she seemed to get it right away.

Perhaps remind them of the canaries that were taken to the coal mines that died and THEN the men left the mines. Those men probably still have damaged lungs from their jobs.

Those poor canaries.

When people ask why so many things are so bad for birds, I explain they're not any healthier for us, it's just that birds are more sensitive to it because particles get deposited in their air sacs instead of being exhaled like our lungs so the damage happens mush more quickly. But you're right, just because we don't notice any ill effects immediately after doesn't mean those things aren't toxic to us, too!

 

[Mizzely]

I agree that offering them alternatives can help a lot. Even though my gut says to just toss everything LOL. They may not understand, but if you can give them options beyond, "don't do that" it may help

 

[Karen]

I would replace the products for them; to better, new and improved versions! Put the dangerous ones out of sight......like in the garbage.