Getting down :(

[cosmolove]

I really just need to vent a little.

A few months ago I took in a couple "rescues" of sorts. Both pluckers that ended up with homes that were less than ideal. Millie, our african grey, has been AMAZING. She's still timid and coming out of her shell but I can see progress. I can see how she seems to be happier in general (based on behavior around us, playing with toys alone, foraging, etc).

The eclectus, Wilma, is a completely different story. She came about a month before Millie and seemed to be taking baby steps in the right direction and now I honestly can say I think she full on hates me. Still plucking, seems to at least be happy in her cage when we aren't around but anytime I go to feed her or even walk by her cage she FREAKS OUT and goes into attack mode trying to bite. Like I can be at Ralphie's cage and not even looking at her and she's on the cage wall hissing at me smacking her beak on the bars.

She seems to act better around my husband so I've been having him be the one to feed her and such so I can give her space. I just wish I knew what she wanted, I need to read her mind lol!

 

[DQTimnehs]

Maybe she's a bit jealous of Millie? Does she only act like that in her cage? Could be territorial. Does she have a play stand? Do you give her one on one time?

Quack certainly didn't love me for the first while. And she was the first of my current 4 so got quite jealous when she'd see me spending time with the other "newcomers". Add to that that I can't really trust her to be on my shoulder and she's not good with snuggles, etc, she feels a little left out. It was so sad to see the hurt in her eyes when I'd spend time with one of the other birds. But she got used to taking turns getting attention. Now she either gets to dance on the counter to kids' music toys, or I swing her upside down (she actually loves this) or both. Then when it's bed time, she gets head rubs on her cage door for a few minutes after the others are locked in. Then she goes to the top of the cage and waits for me to sing to her and she swings upside down and does "crazy bird". All of these interactions are things she likes, as well as sitting on my lap (as long as I don't touch her), and things she comes to expect. We don't have the same relationship as I do with any of the other birds, but it's just as special and it's what we are both comfortable with. You just need to figure out what Wilma is comfortable with and what she enjoys. It may need to be in another area of the house away from her cage as she may see that as her nesty spot.

 

[cosmolove]

Maybe she's a bit jealous of Millie? Does she only act like that in her cage? Could be territorial. Does she have a play stand? Do you give her one on one time?

Quack certainly didn't love me for the first while. And she was the first of my current 4 so got quite jealous when she'd see me spending time with the other "newcomers". Add to that that I can't really trust her to be on my shoulder and she's not good with snuggles, etc, she feels a little left out. It was so sad to see the hurt in her eyes when I'd spend time with one of the other birds. But she got used to taking turns getting attention. Now she either gets to dance on the counter to kids' music toys, or I swing her upside down (she actually loves this) or both. Then when it's bed time, she gets head rubs on her cage door for a few minutes after the others are locked in. Then she goes to the top of the cage and waits for me to sing to her and she swings upside down and does "crazy bird". All of these interactions are things she likes, as well as sitting on my lap (as long as I don't touch her), and things she comes to expect. We don't have the same relationship as I do with any of the other birds, but it's just as special and it's what we are both comfortable with. You just need to figure out what Wilma is comfortable with and what she enjoys. It may need to be in another area of the house away from her cage as she may see that as her nesty spot.

I actually never moved Millie into the bird room because all this started. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to make it worst by bringing on more changes. I have a few playstands but she never wants to come out and I don't want to force her and make it worst. So I'll leave the cage open and give her lots of treats and goodies but she hides in the corner until I leave the room.

I do wonder if hormones are coming into play as its that time of year. Thankfully she doesn't hate my husband like she does me so he can help me move toys around and such but ugh some days I just wish birds had an "easy" button and everything would be resolved lol!

 

[DQTimnehs]

Well she would still know Millie is there by hearing her.

Maybe just start over, spending time in her room as far away as possible, reading to her, talking softly. Slowly move a bit closer if she seems comfortable with you there. It may take months for her to turn a corner but I'm sure she will.

 

[JLcribber]

Female ekkies are known for their long drawn out hormonal cycles. New life. New environment. Better diet. Less stress. New people. All things that would kickstart a major cycle. Things that may have (probably) been stunted/dormant because of prior history/situation.

Not an easy situation. You can do it.

 

[Ella.pi]

Did you try target training her to try and get her away from her cage while you are interacting? she's maybe juste very territorial over it and will only tolerate her favorite person near it... if she doesn'tu want to have anything to do with the training because she's in major defence mode, maybe get your husband to do it and phase him out once she responds well? you could get her used to having breakfast on a stand every morning for example?

 

[Lodah]

Keep at it... there is always light at the end of the tunnel! Just gets hard to see at times!

 

[Lodah]

some days I just wish birds had an "easy" button and everything would be resolved lol!

The easy button is there... just covered in droppings and rusted from lack of use!

 

[ode.to.parrots]

Do you think your husband would be willing to target train Her? He could teach her to climb from the cage to a player and for meals. Then you can interact with her while she is out of the cage and (perhaps) less territorial.

Hang in there!!!

 

[cosmolove]

Do you think your husband would be willing to target train Her? He could teach her to climb from the cage to a player and for meals. Then you can interact with her while she is out of the cage and (perhaps) less territorial.

Hang in there!!!

My husband is terrified of birds so I finally got him warmed up enough to helping feed and such but he won't interact with them aside from talking to them.

 

[faislaq]

My husband is terrified of birds so I finally got him warmed up enough to helping feed and such but he won't interact with them aside from talking to them.

She seems to act better around my husband so I've been having him be the one to feed her and such so I can give her space. I just wish I knew what she wanted, I need to read her mind lol!

That is interesting... he is afraid of birds, but she is more at ease around him. So strange. I would think she would pick up on his nerves and freak out around him, not you. I wonder what it is about him? Could something about you or something you wear remind Wilma of a bad experience in her old home?

When Buzzard came to us last December, he warmed up to me first but then started stepping up for my husband about a month later. My husband got a haircut and Buzzard started hissing at him! It got us thinking about something his previous owner said before we adopted him. She had been going through a divorce at the time and made the comment that "it'll be nice for him to live where no one hits his cage." We realized it was probably her husband who hit his cage & that with shorter hair, my husband must have reminded poor Buzzard of that awful man.

Maybe just start over, spending time in her room as far away as possible, reading to her, talking softly. Slowly move a bit closer if she seems comfortable with you there. It may take months for her to turn a corner but I'm sure she will.

My husband was determined to win Buzzy back and started over with him. He sang to, danced with, and bribed that bird and after 8 long months, Buzzy finally stopped hissing for the most part and began stepping up again. Now it doesn't matter how short he wears his hair because Buzz has positive associations with my husband and doesn't associate him with those memories anymore.

After you two go back through those baby steps and you begin to override her bad memories with good ones, I'm sure she will relax around you again.

 

[cosmolove]

That is interesting... he is afraid of birds, but she is more at ease around him. So strange. I would think she would pick up on his nerves and freak out around him, not you. I wonder what it is about him? Could something about you or something you wear remind Wilma of a bad experience in her old home?

When Buzzard came to us last December, he warmed up to me first but then started stepping up for my husband about a month later. My husband got a haircut and Buzzard started hissing at him! It got us thinking about something his previous owner said before we adopted him. She had been going through a divorce at the time and made the comment that "it'll be nice for him to live where no one hits his cage." We realized it was probably her husband who hit his cage & that with shorter hair, my husband must have reminded poor Buzzard of that awful man.


My husband was determined to win Buzzy back and started over with him. He sang to, danced with, and bribed that bird and after 8 long months, Buzzy finally stopped hissing for the most part and began stepping up again. Now it doesn't matter how short he wears his hair because Buzz has positive associations with my husband and doesn't associate him with those memories anymore.

After you two go back through those baby steps and you begin to override her bad memories with good ones, I'm sure she will relax around you again.

We have a bit of an update. I have started to notice a lot of her aggression seems to be coming from when she's around one of her bowls which happens to be the one we give her a little seed in each day. Previously she was a really bad seed junkie. Thankfully she's been eating pellets and SOME fresh foods (still working on that one lol) but I try to give her a little seed as well. My husband had given her some and went to walk to the other side of her cage to give her fresh water and she attacked the cage wall like she did for me.

We did have a very small win yesterday, she hung out on a perch on the cage door yesterday while I fed her. We talked a little bit (no touching or anything like that) and she didn't show any signs of being upset or anything. It only lasted a couple min before she retreated back to her cage but I'll take any little baby step I can!

Previously she was also on a supplement called "avi-calm" and per my vet they recommended I stop giving it to her for a while. Everything has been getting exponentially worst since then.

My guesses as to why she's been acting this way towards me:
-I took her from her home, she loved her old owner but her old owner had no time for her and ignored her all the time, could she blame me for taking her?
-I take her to the vet, with the plucking issues she had a lot of tests done and checked over really well so I'd imagine it wasn't the best first vet experience

 

[Clueless]

Honestly, each bird is an individual.

Secret still hisses at me....but I know the bird loves me because of the small things. The first time was when someone (a relative) was trying to pick her up. They had birds and was claiming they knew how to handle mine. Secret ran across the top of the cage and leaned for me. That was the first time I picked the bird up.

Hissing is a habit in Secret's case (I hope).

 

[Mizzely]

Did he say why to stop the avicalm? Was the vet worried about corn allergy?

 

[cosmolove]

Honestly, each bird is an individual.

Secret still hisses at me....but I know the bird loves me because of the small things. The first time was when someone (a relative) was trying to pick her up. They had birds and was claiming they knew how to handle mine. Secret ran across the top of the cage and leaned for me. That was the first time I picked the bird up.

Hissing is a habit in Secret's case (I hope).

I'm hoping more baby steps is key. I am perfectly happy with her being a hands off bird I just don't want her to be an unhappy bird if that makes sense.

Did he say why to stop the avicalm? Was the vet worried about corn allergy?

They said not to bother with it and to try a prescription one for her plucking. There was a small change after we switched to the prescription one in some behaviors but she started plucking worst so I weaned her off it slowly and I've been afraid to reintroduce the avicalm. My plans were to get her back on the avicalm I've just been a little gun shy after how changing things went last time.

I may start very slowly adding it until I get back to her old dose.

 

[cosmolove]

Also I did want to thank everyone for your comments. I am honestly just terrified of the horror stories I've read about ekkies and plucking turning into mutilation so I'm trying to find that perfect balance of her being happy and hopefully leaving her feathers alone! Often I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her since such small changes I've already seen make a difference in her plucking in a negative way.

 

[Carlajg]

I purchased a Yellow Naped Amazon when she was 9 years old. Her previous owners had her since she was a baby and I can tell from the things she says and how she reacts to certain situations what her previous life was like. You see she was in a pet shop on consignment and she took an instant liking to me. So after several weeks of visiting her the next folks that wanted to buy her got cold feet and decided not to so I made an offer and she became my bird and she was an absolute hoot around clothes drawers and laundry. At the time I did not know she was a she until my new husband was introduced to her and she no longer wanted anything to do with me , so we had her sexed and well Frisco is a she. She and I get along very well now, in fact my husband and I can interact with her without any dramas. My point is this, you mentioned in your first postings that your bird came from a less than desirable situation. Was the previous owner blond? Seriously, Frisco did not like any woman that was blond and she would attack the closest person to her if she could not get to the poor blond ladies. She has since overcome that but she had a serious problem with that for several years, then one day at the vet for her “pedicure” a young blond aid came out to get her and Frisco went right to her without a hitch. It takes time a patience on your part as well as trust from your bird. Have you tried the pluck collar yet? I would have a vet administer that little device because they have ways to handle birds and the anger will not be fully placed on you. Hang in there. I have had Frisco now for 28 years.

 

[alshgs]

We’re working on the same thing with our female ekkie we just got. (Fostering her for right now) she’s only 21 weeks old or so and has already been through a lot so she’s not that trusting and constantly lunges and bites. Baby steps.

Someone told me to sit by her cage and read, ect so that’s what I’ve been doing. I always tell my parrots good morning and good night, as well as talk to them throughout the day when I’m home.

I plan on starting to target train her next week after she gets used to our routine.

I had a very aggressive green cheek and if I can get her to stop biting, I can do it with this one.

I’ve heard they can be more hormonal than the males and they do mate year round, so I know she’s gonna be feisty. But I’m up for the challenge.....so far. We have two months with her and we can decide if she’s a good fit for us. The rescue will also determine that. Hopefully things progress.