So i posted about this grey (8 Year old) in my older thread. She? I think? Was a “rescue”. A family member gave her to me because they felt like they don’t have time for her anymore. They said she was very mean but she is a sweetheart so i thought maybe they just forced her to step up ect.
Came in deathly afraid of people and wood but after some bribing she came around and would even fly to me. On her out time she just does nothing hours on end even though she is allowed to fly around. She will now take commands happily but without command she will just be a statue.
after months (almost a year) of trying, she is still deathly afraid of everything wood (perches, toys, tiny wood blocks, ect). And i noticed a month ago she started over preening. I bathe her everyday and she has a complete diet, also toys! Around the same time she started refusing to go out of the cage and its stressing me out. Im not trying to neglect her in a cage but she won’t go out. Tried bribery, soft talking, encouragement, nothing.
It breaks my heart because she is constantly asking for head scratches inside the cage so it shouldn’t be something i did? Also a thing about her she has random panic attacks and falls down to the floor (both in and out of the cage). I don’t want to force her to do anything, especially with her not so trusting background.
It sounds like your grey is exhibiting pretty typical grey behavior but turned up to 100. It sounds like you've already made a ton of great progress with her, and my best advice after adopting my CAG 13 years ago is to let go of your expectations of what you think she needs and how you think she needs to act, and let her set her pace. I think it's also important to watch our energy around them, because they pick up on it. If you're anxious, she'll be anxious. My grey is least likely to do something when I really, really want her to do that thing.
If she's afraid of toys, don't overwhelm her with a bunch. Just give her one or two. Rotate in new ones so she's never forced to deal with a bunch of toys at once. When you want to add a new one, leave it somewhere far from her cage where she can see it for awhile and slowly move it closer until one day it's in her cage. My grey isn't afraid of toys but she does not love them the way you see other parrots love them. She mostly likes cardboard and balsa wood. It's also worth letting her watch you play with the toys yourself before you give them to her. I find that my grey is typically drawn to anything I'm using/involved with.
I would not bathe her every day. After trying everything to get my grey to bathe more frequently, I have decided to let her decide when she wants to bathe. I take her into the shower often but her perch doesn't get wet. She is happy to sit there but does not want to get wet. I bring her in for the ambient moisture. She chooses to bathe in her water bowl every now and then. When I see that, I'll spritz her very briefly with a plant mister. (She is in perfect feather, if that matters.)
I don't think it's a coincidence that your grey started over preening and started refusing to come out after the daily bathes. They have to preen after they get wet, and I just don't know how often wild greys bathe in water. Maybe they're mostly dust bathers by nature? (I've looked but haven't found a good answer.) I would try to build a new reward for coming out -- give her a treat quickly when she steps up and comes out, praise her and put her back in right away. Keep doing that until she comes out more automatically and then start extending how much time she is out of her cage.
My grey will also spend lots of time just sitting on top of her cage or on the "patio door." She's in a King's corner cage. Greys aren't animated like conures or cockatoos. But it's also important that we provide them with activities outside of their cages. If there's nothing for her to do, why wouldn't she just sit around? For a phobic bird like yours, I'd suggest giving her a big reward for spending time outside of her cage, like scattering pieces of nuts around a tabletop or in a bowl on her cage.
Using a shelf, table or play stand to create an activity center is also a good idea. I work from home now and my grey will hang out on her cage doing nothing, but if I pick her up and put her on the dining room table where I'm working, she's suddenly very engaged and more willing to play with toys, boxes, etc.
My grey has been flighted for years but doesn't fly a bunch. Greys are big and heavy, and it's hard for them to have the appropriate space to really fly well in a modest-sized house. My house is 1,200-sq-ft and that includes a half-story. I'm working more with my grey to train her to fly between her cage and a shelf I set up for her across the room. They need safe landing stations in order to fly between different points.
It's important to identify what's spooking your grey. I consider my grey pretty well-adjusted but she spooks on occasion and used to spook a lot more years ago. Sometimes a sudden noise like me dropping a heavy object or my dog suddenly barking at the window can set her off and she'll jump off her cage or my hand. She doesn't like large rolls of toilet paper for some reason. She spooked once or twice in her cage like this. If your grey is prone to that inside the cage, lower the perches and remove objects she could injure herself on. Gently introduce things in the room to desensitize her and take them away so she's not enduring the pain for too long. I don't want to start any angry debates on here, but there are some good YouTube videos about this very specific exercise with greys.
It takes a lot of work to desensitize greys to noises, objects, etc. They are very sensitive birds. They can be fine with something one day and then get spooked by it the next. I had some decorative corn on my table during the fall. My grey saw it every day for two months and had no issues with it. I moved it to my kitchen and one day walked in with my grey on my hand. She looked at the corn, leaned back, jumped off and flew away.
Good luck, and please keep us posted.